...I text her when I know she's back in DC.

She doesn't reply on the first day, neither does she on the
second day...or on the third day... what the fuck happened? I've gotten many flakes in my life, even
from girls who really, really liked me. But never had I expected to be flaked on by her. She was way
too much into me. We had a way too big connection! What the fuck?! I admit, I'm down...
I chose this one to be amongst my Top 10s because it shows how despite all the pimping and
whoring around, there's still these special kinds of girls that will stick with you, that you end up
liking way too much... All this happened in April 2013. I had just started watching RSD videos and
going out very regularly. Yes, I did not know RSD for any longer than spring 2013 lol.
Let me dedicate this piece to my main wings in DC, I had a blast with you guys and loved every single
moment with you fuckers!: Eddie, Phil, Sammy, Daniel. The lesson here: socialize everyone in your
local Inner Circle and never be too good to hang out with new wings!
It's funny to see the change in this older LR compared to the more recent ones: I'm generally much
more in my head, I do feel quite chody at times, overly interpretative, and my game was much less free
flowing and more static.
I kept these stories as pure and unedited as possible. - just like I wrote them back then. About some of
it my opinions differ now, some of it I would do differently now but I kept it to depict my inner change
accurately.
Additional comments that I added now are kept in brackets [...]

A Barnboy in Love - Crossing Time Bridges Like A Baws

The Approach
Its one of our glorious weekend nights out, Sammy, Eddy, Phil, Daniel and myself are hitting Adams
Morgan for the first (and last) time. Too many weirdoes, not enough white girls (as Phil would
probably say it haha). The venues are okay, but not awesome. I get thrown out of every fucking set that
evening, face tons of hate and even get attacked physically, by guys AND girls. Dafuck. Seems like
one of these nights when just nothing works, nothing flows, everything sucks. Every single approach
drags your state down a little further and you soon find yourself in a downward spiral with no escape.
Rejection, hate, less and less fun. I force a smile onto myself and go on.
At one point we hit one of these old school bars, a live band is playing and a bunch of mid 40s are
having some drinks. The band is fucking amazing and as we walk in the guitarist is pulling off a killer
solo. Hes not done yet and throws in one ridiculous lick after the other, I notice the Saxophone dude
standing next to him, both of them are having a blast, playing with so much good mood and passion.

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The musician in me comes up and I soon find myself playing air guitar and grimacing over the empty
dance floor. I drop my mask and start being myself, being in the Zone. Fuck it, lets just have a good
time. As it should always be, too bad one has to make oneself aware of that anew every single time.
The state is pushed up again and the flow is more natural. We hop to some other venues, do some sets
and it's slowly getting better. At one point Eddy, Sammy and me are pulling off the usual: Dancing like
we fucking want, supposedly looking like fucking idiots. We infect everyone on the dance floor with
our party mood and while I just keep jumping around, Eddy and Sammy are hitting it off brutally,
approaching every girl, dancing with numerous chicks at once, Sammy amogging the shit out of several
dudes as usual. One dude comes over to me starting to hate: Look at these guys, they will never get a
girl! I smile inside and tell him to show me how he would do it (not telling him that these are my
friends hes talking about). He cant answer me that and bails out. Two other chodes show up, being
pretty drunk: Dude, these guys are crazy! Haha, best comment ever. I high 5 them and keep dancing.
Sammy and Eddy tell me we should bounce, no objections, on my way out I notice her...
I remember hear wearing a nice dress. Not slutty, rather alternative, but definitely stylish, She has
amazing brown hair, a pretty face and big eyes. I open her real quick before we leave. Too bad I cant
really remember our conversation but she tells me its her birthday. I dont indulge in all the Happy
Birthday crap, asking her how old she is etc. (a million guys probably already did that tonight), instead,
I neg her because shes here dancing alone. Her friends are on the other side of the room. Im very
touchy and she likes it, we dance a little and I can tell shes into me (although she is obviously a little
drunk). I let go of her (for some reason I cant remember) and Mr. High Energy Drunk Sammy decides
to approach her as some weird form of winging. I know he would never steal a set, thats not his style,
so he just fools around a little and talks to her. She likes him too (of course, he is in a perfect mood that
night) and I decide to just play a little needy game:
I act all protective and aggressive in an exaggerated, playful way. I pull Sammy away from her yelling
Dude, shes mine! Go away! He knowingly smiles and plays along. I hug her and turn her away from
him. He indulges in a little pushing fight with me and I keep yelling Shes mine, leave us alone!
Haha, we have so much fun doing it, I hug her again, shes pretty passive, I tell her I have to bounce
now and that we should continue our conversation, hand her my awesome flip phone, she types in her
number and her full name. Cool Ive never played it that way. Im usually the cool guy turning away
from a target that is being approached by another guy. But through mocking an overly attached dude
you completely take the social and personal pressure out of the situation and turn it into something fun,
something new, something shes probably never seen before. Thank you RSD!
What a fun set. We bounce out of the club and soon call it a night. Im glad I could turn an absolutely
shitty night around at least a little and have a quality close. Limiting Belief destroyed; never give up on
a shitty night.

The Follow Up: Youre Cold As Ice

On one of my follow up days I somehow end up having far too many closes. I make the mistake to text
almost all of them at once, resulting in a flood of messages and I almost lose track of the conversations.
However, Miss Birthdays texts seem very low in interest and she does not invest anything. I soon lose
interest and give up on her, since there are more promising girls to be worked on. Again, too bad I
dont have access to the whole text conversation, since the following would be a good example of
effective texting without any unnecessary investments:

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A few days later I do face some scarcity in dates (despite the initial abundance of closes), so I decide I
would have nothing to lose if I just push it really hard and throw all concerns about smalltalk, DHV,
qualifying etc. over board. A smart decision; sometimes all you need to do is push hard and do what
you feel like, thoughts words actions aligned. I text her what shes doing today. Shes busy most of
the time. I text something like Thats cool, have coffee with me later. She hesitates, but I dont care.
She claims to be invited by friends blahblahblah, going to that Indian color festival where you just
throw color at each other and have a blast. I still dont care. She says she might be able to get coffee
afterwards, texts me half an hour later that other friends just invited her for lunch afterwards. I still
dont listen to her excuses. And here comes the text with which I get her, it goes something like look
girl, you have two choices now, you can either go out with your friends and do some boring stuff or
you are spontaneous and open-minded and get to know an interesting person better. Haha, I actually
feel way too pushy, but being in an overall cocky and funny mood it fits well into my thoughts at that
time. She says yes, cool. I tell her I only have somewhat 2 hours time since I have to be somewhere at 4
(RSD Inner Circle DC meeting haha). Shes cool with it. Although that whole text conversation makes
me feel like she seems a little pissed that she let me persuade her to come meet me.

Date 1: The Mind-Reading Coffee

We meet Downtown, from which I can easily access the Metro to the RSD meeting venue. Just before
Im there, she texts me shes going to be late. We postpone for 10 minutes, she texts again, is late
again. I text the usual back: Alright, coffees on you ;). Im on the phone with Eddy making plans for
Miami, when she finally arrives at the meeting point. At first I dont even notice her; shes wearing big
aviator sun glasses, super fucked-up (but short) shorts, and an old-as-fuck shirt. Everything entirely
covered in various dusty colors. She is smiling at me. Ah yeah, that color festival, haha. Her body is
lean and tight, but her overall appearance just does not appeal to me, that style just looks way too
fucked-up. I hug her as well as I can, since Im all dressed up fancy and shit for the talk later on. We
laugh about her appearance and small talk while walking down to the Cafe I want to try out.
The cool thing (and the key why this date is going to be such a success) is that I end up only having one
hour before I have to leave, which results in my strategy only being about a nice smalltalk and get-
toknow situation. Im not planning to escalate much, let alone going in for a KC. All I am seeking in
this one hour is a nice casual and fun conversation. So Im super laid back and incredibly natural, no
player attitude. It should always be like this, my big sticking point, and Im glad I can do this very big
step towards destroying this sticking point.
She pays the coffee as discussed. She takes off her sunglasses, her beautiful face is uncovered and I
remember why I liked her in the first place. She has amazing, deep brown eyes that make her seem
innocent but wise at the same time, fascinating in a beautiful way.
We get to know each other, both talk and listen a lot, I like how slowly and calmly she talks, its a nice
counterpart to my hyper attitude and I like how she has a relaxing effect on me. The way she talks is
unique, she never has to break up a sentence, she never has to correct herself, she speaks perfectly,
something I havent even noticed before, but I start liking it and get attracted to her more and more. I
notice how her eyes are checking out my arms, we soon talk about sports and she tells me she runs...
sexy. I tell her she doesnt have running ankles, more like dancing ankles, she likes it and I do some
kino. She tells me she used to play Rugby, which is pretty bad ass, especially considering the fact that a
petite, light-weight girl is sitting in front of me. She tells me stories how she got run into the ground
once, almost losing consciousness... cool. She quit doing it due to too many small injuries, haha. We

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connect very well but on a very neutral level, nothing sexual.
A good way to steer the conversation towards sex is cold reading; you just interpret everything in a
sexual way. I notice her rings and tell her how the different fingers represent different character traits
(credits: Ricardo [a friend of mine and side-mentor back in my early Vienna days]), she starts
listening really carefully and soaks up every piece of information. I touch her hands and I notice how
she immediately rests her in mine. Cool. Thats the first sexual IOI I get from her, so far it was just a
conversation, a good one but a non-sexual one. She has been asking me why she needed to bring a
pencil (little routine of mine), we get a piece of paper and start cold reading her handwriting and a
picture I let her draw. She is amazed, I cold read almost everything perfectly (no shit, we talked for
almost an hour now and I got to know her very well :P). She is impressed and I notice how she loves it.
Anyways, I have to leave and we take the metro together, we casually say good bye and Im off to the
meeting.
Later that day I get one of the cutest texts I've ever had the pleasure to read (again, too bad I dont have
it anymore), but it goes something like this: Hey Max, I just wanted to say thank you for making me
go out of my comfort zone and get to know you better! I had such a good time! I think she even
suggests getting together soon. Awesome.

Date 2: The Box on the Sidewalk

She texts me again, I tell her Im craving cake. Well-spoken as she is she recommends a seemingly
awesome cafe in her area. Nice. I get there, she sitting at a table already. Too bad, shes not a PUA; she
chose a quite date-inconvenient, small table in the middle of the cafe, it will be hard to do quality kino
and go in for the KC here. She stands up and we hug. What I say: Heeey, finally without all the
random colors on your clothes!. What I think: Heeeey, Oh my got you are fucking hot! Not being in
fucked-up clothes she looks absolutely stunning and I suddenly get nervous. It is a good nervousness.
Dont fuck it up, Max!
But we are soon able to find our connection again, laugh, and never run out of conversation topics.
Were totally alike, I start wondering about how attracted one can be to someones inner values. I start
noticing the awesome songs theyre playing in the background and mention them. She knows almost
every fucking song, which is something I LOVE. She is amazing, I pull her close and kiss her forehead.
Its not something I do for the sake of seduction, no, it truly comes from the heart, Im just super into
her. We have cheesecake, and I decide I have to de-neutralize the conversation again. This is
something I always have to do when the girl is as talkative as me and the conversation is going too
well; youre just getting distracted into random conversation topics and somehow forget to seduce. So I
know its time for some bad boy stories. Fittingly, they start playing Bob Marley (she has me know she
loves Bob Marley, which is another plus point) and I easily steer the conversation towards drugs. We
both admit we do weed every once in a while and soon were cracking up over awesome blazing
stories. I decide to do no more bullshitting, pay and tell her to lets go out and take a walk.
Hey lets walk out like a Sir and I let her take my arm like a royal couple would do it. I feel how she
likes touching my body and we walk a little. Theres a random small box (probably from bottle beer)
on the sidewalk and I, being in a good and spontaneous mood, step on it and act as if I had just
ascended a mountain, looking into the distance, having a heroic stance. Hows the view up there? she
laughs. Oh, its so awesome! I take her hand and pull her up, we can barely fit on it together, I press
her body against mine and kiss her. She kisses exactly the same way she talks and I like it. She smiles

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at me after the kiss and stepping off the box I take her hand and we keep walking, making out every
few meters.
Having learned to always push the shit out of every situation I, of course, decide to go for the full close
already. The only problem (as usual here in DC, haha): Logistics. I have to smoothly invite myself to
her place lol. We talk about music, I mention how I used to have super long hair and was a huge metal
head. She cant believe it. I tell her theres videos on Youtube and we should check them out at her
place. She hesitates but kinda agrees. Although she asks why we couldnt just watch it on her phone?
- ...you cant see the videos on phones, just on computers. Period. Haha, best excuse ever. She agrees
and I have to ask her where she lives. We start heading to her place but as we reach the street that leads
to the Metro she stops and I know whats about to come. Hey, youre really cool and I like you...but I
usually dont take guys home right away. Damn it! But I play it cool and neg her Haha, is that what
youre thinking about?! Youre such a player! I probably could have still convinced her, but I decide
not to. Its late, Im tired and its going well enough for me to know I can just do it at the next date. I
kiss her one more time and say good bye.

Date 3: Dafuck Did I Just Do?

What I like about Vixen (thats what I start to call her, due to her amazing speaking skills that clearly
seduced me she doesnt really like the name haha) is that she is active... active in suggesting things
and holding the contact. However, she does it in a way that still makes me want to chase her, whereas
many other girls who did that to me in the past simply lost my attraction towards them. Not Vixen...
She invites me to a Baseball game, since her friend has free tickets. Im totally down although I have to
reschedule some of my plans but fuck, its Baseball and Im a European! Haha. I know the situation
will not be in favor of awesome pulling but I decide to just enjoy the culture clash and socialize her
friends a little. We go to the game. We get a beer (I isolated her and KC again) and I get drunk a little
already. We end up by accident sitting a row behind all her friends Im sure she planned that...
Vixen. We keep having an awesome connection, never getting bored with each other. I hold her hand
and feel like a high school boy. I dont know why but even that makes my heart race. So here I am,
sitting with a girl I like, holding hands, getting all nervous like a fifteen year old...haha.
The Baseball game is lame but we have fun. We all decide to leave and take a group picture. (We later
notice that some random weird-looking black guy photobombed all of our pictures...no one had noticed
him). The Metro is packed and I tell her the two of us are going to take the next one. Her friends take
the first one though, nice isolation. I thank them and we say bye. We hit the next train and Im an idiot.
Im just not in the moment, am neither concentrated nor relaxed, my mind is just empty, not paying
attention to her signs, to the moment... We talk random shit, my stop is coming. Ah, thats my stop,
thanks for the invitation! I hop out, not thinking about the weird look on her face: Dont go! Come
with me! What are you doing? is what it would have told me. I walk to the next train that brings me
home. My mind starts up again: DAFUCK WAS I DOING?!? I was alone with her, could have
casually gone back to her place and full close. You are a fucking idiot and you deserve not getting laid
tonight! Mood is shit.
She texts me again soon afterwards. And we somehow end up texting how we see/perceive each other.
Again, damn it, I dont have the texts anymore, but she texts something really cute, giving me
compliments I have never heard before. Aww...stop it you! She wants to know what I like about her but
I tell her she will get to know it in person next time. She likes the idea but still wants to know it now. I
tell her that I really like the way she talks and how it makes me relaxed and comfortable that she has a

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really balanced personality and (I still want to incorporate something superficial Im a man and
fucking right I love good looks!) that I really like her lower back and how it drives me crazy when I
touch it. She appreciates the compliments and we decide to talk soon.

The Flake
She goes back to her home for a couple of days to see the New Orleans Jazz Festival. I decide to freeze
her out a little bit, since she would be having a blast there and I don't want to be the needy one
disturbing her. I text her when I know she's back in DC. She doesn't reply on the first day, neither does
she on the second day...or on the third day... what the fuck happened? I've gotten many flakes in my
life, even from girls who really, really liked me. But never had I expected to be flaked on by her. She
was way too much into me. We had a way too big connection! What the fuck?! I admit, I'm down for at
least one full day. Always catching myself having the negative thought pattern of asking "why?!". I get
my state back on the third day. Gaming other girls, going out, going on dates, enjoying life.
Then she does text back. She had lost her phone on the first night she came back to DC. She just got a
replacement phone (and of course, texts me right away, how cute!). Everything is back to normal. God,
that flake almost gave me a heart attack! :D

Date 4: Seriously! How many dates do you need!

I find myself in a somewhat miserable situation. I start connecting with her way too much... We text a
lot since, due to bad logistics, were not able to hang out together (she goes to New Orleans, I go to
New York). I usually try to not indulge in a big texting orgy but its just too much fun and we always
find ways to make the other one invest. Vixen... I have to brainstorm to find an excuse for a casual date
near her place so I can pull/be pulled easily to her home. I tell her I want to go buy stuff and close to
her place is something like a mall (not really though and she denies it too haha) but we do meet up
there. We hang out at a Target store and I give her one of my favorite routines: Choose 3 music albums
that define yourself the best. She likes it, we have fun doing it. I choose Master Of Puppets, 21st
Century Breakdown and a Led Zeppelin album. She chooses Adele, Stevie Wonder and a really
unknown Spanish female singer. Cool. And there it is again, that damn connection. Im trying hard not
to fall for her. I need to fuck her, raise the level of casualness and lower the level of connection. I steer
the conversation towards movies, she has never seen my favorite movie; The Art of Flight. I have an
idea that we should be spontaneous, get M&Ms and wine and go to her place. She hesitates a little
but I can frame it nicely. We buy the stuff I tell funny stories and we go to her place, nice.
Her room gives me shit. She may have a single room but its a walk-through room and her roommate
(who is btw. really cool and not cockblocking) is right next door. Never mind, we still chill in her bed,
watch the awesome movie, have wine and M&Ms. I do a lot of kino and of course escalate the shit out
of the situation. She loves it when my hand is grabbing her pussy over her pants and she massages my
boner a little bit. However, I get blocked (why do I get blocked so much recently?! haha). It's okay, I
had anticipated that. I pull all my registers but the result of the evening is practically that she can't get
too physical knowing that her roommate is right next door, hearing everything blahblahblah... Shit.
Fuck. Curse these damn logistics here! She tells me I should probably leave if I want to catch the last
Metro home. I neg her claiming that she's totally kicking me out! I leave within seconds to amplify it.
"Okay, you're obviously kicking me out!" I exaggerate in a funny way, establishing the frame that she
used me for sexual services, haha. She tries to justify even though she gets the exaggeration. I tell her

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it's okay and head out.

The Cooking Date

We end up texting again. So much connection again, I love her wit, I love her wordiness...
We somehow text up the topic of some awesome vegetarian dish she (we) can cook: At one point she
asks me what I could offer her, I answer: "3 pounds of onions". She then replies back something like:
"Add peppers, olive oil, tomatoes and pasta and we have an amazing dish...it's even vegetarian!" I play
it well by saying: "Is that an invitation?". I personally like how I established that frame out of a casual
fooling-around conversation. She gets the idea that it is indeed an invitation and we decide to go
grocery shopping together and then go to her place to cook. She decides when... only she knows when
her roommate is not at home ;)
We meet up on a Friday night... and damn it... whenever I see her in real life I am reminded of how
fucking hot she is and so is it this time. She's wearing an absolutely gorgeous black dress, her perfect
long legs...her flat belly, her hair is amazingly styled, highlighting her Central-American heritage.
Damn it, this girl's really got me. We're both super tired and decide to head back to her place to rest a
little bit, before we go grocery shopping.
We reach her place...it's a Friday night and I'm pretty sure her roommate is out partying (she seemed
like a party chick when I met her the other night). She is there... fuck. BUT. She's there with friends,
rambling stuff in Spanish, wearing dresses: pregaming! YES, she's gonna be out in no time! I say hi
and Vixen and me chill in her bed, listening to random music, having one or two coke-rum drinks. I
don't need it, almost reject the offer, but I know she needs it to get comfortable. (A fact that I have
noticed here in America, European girls barely need alcohol to be escalated on). Her roommate soon
says good bye and together with her friends she heads out. Home alone, sexy time!
I chill, escalate smoothly, not too much. I discover her beautiful body. She is so tight, so beautiful. Her
legs are perfect, she kisses more and more intensely (she is usually a reserved kisser). We put on music,
I show her German Rock songs: Die Toten Hosen. She likes it. I put on my all time favorite songs: "An
Tagen Wie Diesen"...great song, and I tell her an awesome story when my Viennese friends and me
were hitting that house party in Vienna and then tried - completely hammered - to get to that other
awesome party at the Rathaus. The story takes long and I decide to loop that song. I escalate again. I
feel her legs...under her skirt, grab her ass. She breathes heavier. I start fingering her over her
panties...no block. I pull her panties to the side...no block. She is wet, grabs my cock. Shirt off, pants
off. She undresses herself. I love it. Her body is gorgeous, seeing it drives me crazy. My hands start to
shake. She is on top of me. I undress completely. She starts massaging my cock. She uses a lot of spit
and gives me a two-hand hand job. What's up with this country? Never gotten hand jobs that great
before! She is awesome and I almost come (non-masturbation challenge anyone? :D).

The LMR
I finger her, she jerks me off, she loves it and before she's coming she makes me stop. I want to fuck
her. Right now. Just before I want to turn her around and pin her to the bed, she stops. Her look gets
serious, I know what's coming. "Hey listen... I really like you...but we can't have sex. That whole thing,
you're leaving... [I'm leaving DC in a couple weeks to go back to Austria] I have the principle that I

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don't have sex with anyone where I know there won't be more in the future..." I stay chill, her words
say no, but I can somehow feel that she does want it. "Hey, that's okay. You're really awesome too!
Then let's just not have sex!"
However, I do turn her around like intended, I start fingering her again. "I wanna fuck you now" She
moans and I understand that she throws her principles over board. "Do you have condoms?". I get
condoms from my bag. I put it on, lean over her, feel her soft skin, I reach for her hand and hold it. I
penetrate her, we both feel it so intensely. "Hey, easy, easy...," she slows me down. She probably hasn't
had sex in a while and needs it softer...to begin with. I do it softer. She is amazing, I have way too
much feelings for her, I know it. But the sex helps, it actually really does. We connect on a more sexual
level, and the casualness of our relationship somehow gets amplified. She closes the curtains of her
window. "What are you doing? No one can see you from the street..." There's a church in the view, she
feels uncomfortable, haha, okay, I'm okay with that.
The sex with her is amazing. She is so confident. Talks openly about how good it feels. The tone of her
voice is as natural and calm as it always is. It turns me on. I fuck her harder. She comments how
surprisingly good some of my moves feel. She cums. I don't, not yet. The alcohol is a little bitch and I
take longer. Her hand jobs are amazing and I want her to jerk me off to cum. However, the two drinks I
have had say no. So I end up having to jerk myself off to cum over her beautiful belly. I take a little
long and we both think it's funny, haha.
We both lie next to each other, breathing heavily. I have been sweating like shit, despite the air
condition, but I play it in a self-amused way and she's okay with it. We both lie there, still listening to
the same fucking song. It's beautiful, she is beautiful and I know I'm going to miss her so much. The
song will be ours, forever, she knows it, I know it. I invite her to Vienna, she should let me know
whenever she is around in Europe. She has a really good friend there now. I tell her what we would do
there and she indulges in the idea and soon we talk about fictive trips through Austria...
Two weeks later we meet again, 3 days before my departure back to Austria. We have Thai food
together, I hold her hands, we talk, about hard gainers (people who can eat tons of food and won't gain
muscles); she tells me how hard it always was / is for her to gain muscles, even though she works out
and eats a lot. I look her in her eyes and tell her how amazingly beautiful she is and that she should
please stay the way she is, since she is so unbelievable fucking hot. I mean it completely honest and I
can see it in her eyes how she can't believe how cute it is. We fool around. She asks me if I want to go
Salsa dancing. "No." Haha. I really don't want to, I barely slept (too much going out), and just want to
hang out at her place. She hesitates, her fucking roommate is there again. I don't care. We do end up at
her place, chill, cuddle, I escalate, finger her, but she blocks very adamantly. I realize she really can't
have sex when her roommate is around. We don't have sex, but talk a lot. I will miss her so much.
I have to go, she has to get up early, doesn't want me to miss the last metro. I know I have to say good
bye...forever (?). We stay in touch, she should add me on Facebook. We try to stay casual and it works
out quite well. I feel my necklace on my chest. The one necklace that means so much to me, the one
necklace that (superstitious, I know) helped me to overcome my tendonitis years ago. It's the most
personally valuable thing I own. I have been thinking about leaving it back in the US. I take it off, she
is busy rearranging some headphones in her room. I take her hand and give her my necklace. She can't
have it "But it's your necklace, Max". "It's yours now...you can give it back to me when we see each
other again." The casualness is gone. I hug her, we kiss, I hug her again. Take care of yourself, Kika. I
walk out of her apartment, turn around, she stands there with tears in her eyes, I wave goodbye and
leave.

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I try to stay calm and relaxed. Out on the street...I reach the metro, it overcomes me, my hands and
knees start to shake and I start to cry. I have to sit down and relax. Damn...I'm gonna miss this girl...

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