Tasvir A R Chowdhury 2010

F rom my life what i have seen is....opposites do attract...but in the long run doesn’t tends to
lack the peace of mind esp. if you two both are in a serious relationship...or in other
words...to some extent compatibility issues are the
glitches! ;-)

Do
You and your significant other are as different as night and day, but if
you fight all night and day, then you've got some issues that an Opposites
Attract?
adage like "opposites attract" won't solve. A successful relationship
depends on how different you are, what you choose to make of the
differences, and what the differences make of you.

Let's be clear from the start: Similar tastes in food and movies will not hold your relationship together,
while different hobbies and passions will not necessarily drive you apart. Opposing cultures, tastes and
opinions can actually benefit a relationship by introducing each person to a whole new perspective.
Besides, contrasting personalities is a positive; nobody wants to date themselves, after all.

Opposites can contribute to the chemistry in a relationship, but if the two of you are too different, you
might end up heading in different directions. It's time to examine your differences and discover whether
they work for or against your relationship.

WHY OPPOSITES CAN ATTRACT

The best thing about being different is that it allows you to compensate for whatever quality or
character trait you lack and wish you had. Imagine you're the shy guy around the office, and have
always wished you were more outgoing. So how does the headstrong, outgoing woman you met at
your friend's wedding sound? You might gravitate toward someone who could be the missing piece in
your life, which, as Jerry Maguire so eloquently put it, will "complete" you.

Although it seems logical for an aggressive man to be attracted to equally aggressive women, as we
learned in physics, two positives fields will not produce energy. A negative and a positive, on the other
hand, can make sparks fly.
 Tasvir A R Chowdhury 2010

The lust you feel for someone different not only adds an element in your life that was previously
missing, but it also adds to the challenge of it all. You're a nice guy, yet you tend to fall for the
girls that kick your heart to the curb. The appeal of nasty girls can seem like a mystery to you and
your buddies, who always ask why you're with the wicked witch from the west rather than a woman
who knows how to make you feel like there's no place like home. Could it be that you're looking for
the Mr. Hyde to your Dr. Jekyll because the challenge motivates you to do so?

It's definitely one explanation for why the sweetest girls end up with the biggest jerks around. The
challenge of conquering the heart of someone so opposite from you can add to the passion, which
sometimes gets mistaken for love. That is my point dear! 

WHAT IF YOU'RE REALLY DIFFERENT?

HOW DIFFERENT ARE YOU?

The idea of opposites doesn't have to signify polar opposites. Your anal-retentive, clean freak self
might find your new girlfriend's "why clean now what you can't clean tomorrow" attitude adorable at
first, but it could become downright irritating by month two. The appeal of your differences can wear
off like a great buzz, and feel like a hangover once the excitement wears off. That's why you need to
establish from the start which characteristics and values are important to you in a mate, and which
ones can be shelved.

Everything in the honeymoon phase seems perfect, so it's likely that your girlfriend's quirks and habits
won't bother you within the first couple of months -- and these are the ones you're aware of. Since
you can't give every potential girlfriend a "what would you do if…" test to see whether she measures
up, you can take her actions as hints of what is to come.

If her apartment is a nuclear waste zone every time you visit and her dishes are always piled up to
the ceiling, it could say something about her (unless she works long hours and has a hectic
schedule). If she's rude to the waiter and makes unfair demands when you're out for dinner, you
 Tasvir A R Chowdhury 2010
might be able to gauge her personality from the start. So if you can't tolerate these traits and they
aren't one-time occurrences, then you shouldn't ignore what you're getting yourself into.

Once you know someone's tendencies and personality, and you know that they are problematic for you,
ask yourself whether these are things you're willing to accept later on down the road. Remember that
the more emotion, time and effort you've invested, the harder it will be to break things off.

If your differences consist of the homebody vs. party animal, for example, sacrifices can be made to
resolve the issue. Compromise is the key to keeping your relationship afloat; the two of you will simply
have to learn how to communicate your needs with each other and make sacrifices. Just make sure
your needs are equally met and fulfilled.

THE REAL PROBLEM...

The troublesome differences are those that come in the form of opposite wavelengths. If you're a big
spender while she was raised with the mentality that money doesn't grow on trees, bigger issues may
surface, especially if it ever comes to sharing a bank account. These opposing mentalities must be
confronted from the start, or they will end up becoming emotionally expensive.

If your differences are relationship-based and present long-term effects, such as premarital sex vs.
abstinence, or no children vs. a station wagon full of kids, these must be addressed before things get
serious. Unless you meet a woman while speed dating and grill each other upfront about marriage and
children, these are issues that should arise naturally as the relationship progresses. These are not first-
date conversation topics, but make sure they are addressed before the three-month mark or before
things get serious.

You can also pick up on clues during dates and casual conversations. If you're walking through a park
and she complains about all the kids screeching in the playground, pay attention and read into it
however you like. And yes, it is possible that she hates dogs, so if she winces every time Buster
licks her, then you may have to choose between your best friend and your new one.
 Tasvir A R Chowdhury 2010

NO CHANGE, NO GAIN
If you are not willing to change, then do not assume that you can change her. She has known her
way of life longer than she has known you, and it's nearly impossible to change unless she's doing it
for herself.

Opposites are tricky because they do attract, and serve to bring out a new and improved side of each
person. Different points of view can definitely bring a whole new spark to your relationship, and there's
nothing wrong with adding another dimension to your life. And some healthy debating and differing
opinions can add fire to any relationship. But if the differences you have are deeply rooted and present
long-term effects on your romance, then you need to ask yourself the following questions:

 How much do her differences bother me?

 Do I complain to her/friends/myself more than I rejoice?

 Can our differences be solved with compromise?

 How important are my traits and mentality to me?

These questions should help you decide whether your opposing personalities will cause more damage
than progress, because while opposites will add spark, too many contrasts will only burn bridges.

Though it wasnt pleasant in my case for many times (sorry hons) but somehow clicked for others. I
would like to thank Mario for the inspiration and dedicate this to the lovely lady lawyer i......ya knw
who you R, rite!?! ;-)

Try it yourself at least once...then you will knw what i was talkin’.....!!!!!

ALL THE BEST FOR A HAPPY LIFE! *Inspired from Mario[CITATION

MarO \l 2117 ]