Shannon Napples

R. Christiansen

English 2010 TR 8:30 A.M.

December 3rd, 2013

When Mom Just Doesn't Care

January 1st, 2005 1:18 A.M.

Hello, my name is Emma Marie Anderson. I have a terribly generic name but I have a far from

generic life. I would consider generic to be going to school, making friends, having boyfriends

and being around people my own age and of my own mindset. Instead, I get to have this most

extraordinary life that was described as only being given to a few people (or so my therapist

says) and thus I am gifted; gifted in the way my mind works and the thoughts that I have rushing

through my brain at any given time. My therapist says I might as well be thirty years old instead

of seventeen because he has never met a seventeen year old who is as mature and well

rounded as myself. All I want to do is scream in his face and say, Hey! I still feel like a

seventeen year old. Dont put all the responsibilities on my shoulders when I am barely old

enough to drive a car! Why cant everyone see that I am not ready for this big of a commitment!

But I cant say that. Mainly the reason why is because I actually dont have a therapist. This

imaginary life that I have created for myself helps me keep my mind off of what I am actually

going through. It helps me calm down after yet another fight between me and my mother, who is

never around much anyway. She always is off with her friends or with a new guy that claims he

will sweep her off her feet. No, instead I am busy taking my moms place and raising my younger

sister, Charlene. I wake up early in the morning to make her breakfast and to get a jump start

on my homework which has become late work, yet again. I take Charlene to school and I am the

one who attends Parent Teacher Conferences and who does all of the bake sales. I take

Charlene to dance practice and make Charlene finish her homework before she can watch her
cartoons. I am in the role of mom and I shouldnt be. Im not even an adult legally but I still do

these things because if I didnt, Charlene would end up in a worse place than I was when I was

growing up. I still should be growing up but I dont have that luxury in life. I mean, why cant my

mother see that she is hurting us? Why cant she be like any other mom out there and actually

care for her children. I hate her and I will always hate her with every ounce of my being. Once I

can get out of here I will and I will take Charlene with me. I need to get her away from this toxic

place that is filled with false words of hope and lies that circle around every corner. I suppose

this is enough to write in a journal for the first time so I will stop but Im sure there will be much

more to write about soon.

.....

Today was one of those days that led to complete and udder disappointment and it all was

circled around the same person it always is; my mom. After I dropped Charlene off at school I

was heading over to my school when I stopped at a red light. Sure, nothing out of the ordinary

until I saw my mother walking through the cross walk. I rolled down my window and yelled out

for her but she just ignored me and kept on walking. At this point I became angry and once the

light turned green I pulled a U turn and parked. I proceeded to get out of the car and run after

her yelling MOM!!!!. When she finally did turn around and acknowledge that it was me chasing

after her she just stared and shook her head. Not a word was spoken and she turned around

and kept on going. I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach repeatedly. When

did she get like this? I mean, I can remember a time when she would smile and laugh and tell

jokes that actually were funny. Now she doesnt even talk to us anymore. Its like we are a

nuisance that is flying around her ear and she cant wait to get a hold of a swatter to shatter us

away and forever be rid of us. We are insects that threaten her daily comfort in life and that daily

comfort is to only think about herself and her needs and wants. Charlene and I are just guests in

her home that are there without her consent.

After my run in with my mom I didnt want to go to school. I went home and threw a box
of cards at the front door. I guess you could say that I dont handle anger and disappointment

very well at all. All I want to do right now is make my mother pay for all of the hurt that she has

caused. It isnt anything that Charlene and I have done, its all her. She is the problem in this

situation; No! She is the problem in all situations. I wish she would just die. Fall off of a bridge

and drown or get eaten by a wild bear just so that we can be free of her and her hurtful looks or

her hurtful words that cut deep down into my soul and are never forgotten. Why does she stick

around if she hates us so much. Why cant she just fly away with one of her newest boy toys

and be out of our lives forever. Isnt that usually what bad parents do? They leave their kids so

that they can just think about themselves? Charlene is about to get home and I think it is time

for us to have a serious conversation about leaving this place and being out in world, alone and

more importantly, free.

Charlene and I talked for a long time and we decided that we are going to leave the

house and move out. We have already packed our belongings and we are going to go to our

grandmas house...well at least we hope so. We havent talked to grandma in over 10 years,

since dad was taken out of our lives. Grandma said that she didnt want to be reminded of all of

the hurt that that crazy lunatic inflicted on our family so she moved three states away to

California. Charlene doesnt remember anything that went on 10 years ago but I remember it all.

I was seven and dad had just finished reading me a bedtime story when there was a knock at

the door. Mom was out shopping last minute for Christmas gifts with her best friend Stacy (we

used to call her aunt Stacy) and Charlene. When dad opened the door I heard a man shouting

at him, telling him that he told him he would pay. Then I heard it. I loud pop that sent shivers

through my spine and made me jump so hard that I dropped the book. I heard footsteps

approaching my bedroom and that is when I saw the man. He was tall, so tall that he looked like

a giant that could stop anything in his path. He had a tattoo that wrapped around his neck and

went down to his forearm. He smelled like booze mixed with something else that I could never

put my finger on, I still can remember the exact smell but I dont know what its origin is. The
man looked at me and began walking closer. I couldnt move, I was as frozen as a popsicle. I

couldnt even make a sound; the only thing I could do was stare at this man who was so foreign

to me. He kept inching his way closer to me while saying things like, and who are you? he

would say with a grin on his face or dont worry about daddy, he got what he had coming to

him with another smile. He was about to reach out his hand and touch my face when a shrill

and blood curdling scream came from the doorway. My mother, aunt Stacy and Charlene had

just gotten back from shopping when they found dads bloody body in the entrance way to the

house. Once the man heard that someone had found what he did, he ran to my window and

crawled through until he was able to jump to the ground and run. I sat on my bed still unable to

move but consciously aware that I needed to run to my mom and my dad. I can still remember

hearing my mother crying a yelling out Why?! Why have you taken him from me? When I was

young I thought she was referring to the man who had murdered my father but now looking back

and thinking about it, I know that she was yelling at God. She was cursing God for taking away

her love, she was cursing God for leaving us two kids for her to watch over and to raise. This is

something that she just didnt want to do.

Remembering all that has happened is making me feel like it is happening all over again.

I just wish that the pain would stop. It didnt stop when they found the guy who did it like they

said it would. It didnt stop when people would give their condolences and try to comfort. I feel

like this pain will never stop so I just need to forget the whole thing. I need to get away from

mom because its not like she cares enough to try and help us through this. I need to talk with

my grandma and figure out where to go from here because just staying here will eventually

suffocate me. Its time to leave.

It took me and Charlene a full day to drive down to grandmas house, and another three

hours to try and figure out where she lives but once we knocked on her door she gave us a look

of love that spread through my heart and up to my eyes where I could not longer hold back any

tears. She invited us inside and we began catching up. It wasnt too long until I spilled all of my
feeling about mom to her, I guess I just couldnt hold those back either.

She really does that? Grandma asked sounding puzzled and sad all at the same time.

Yes Grandma. She doesnt care about us. Ever since dad died she doesnt do any of the mom

stuff like she used to. All she does is go to work and go out to bars with her friends. She doesnt

even come home until 3 or 4 in the morning. I have tried staying awake so that I could confront

her when she got home but when I would try she would lock herself in her bedroom and refuse

to hear me.

How do you feel about it Charlene? Grandma now focused her attention on Charlene who

never likes talking about this kind of thing.

She hates us Grandma. I have heard her say it more than once while on the phone with her

friends. It hurts so bad every time I see her because all I want to do is be like a normal family

that loves each other. Katie at school is on vacation right now with her family and she was so

excited to go; I have never had that opportunity in my life to feel the way that she felt before

leaving. Instead I have this feeling of sorrow everyday before I come home. I cant invite my

friends over because I know that I will get that look from mom that will send tears to my eyes

immediately. Its not how life is supposed to be Grandma. Can we stay with you?

Grandma has been listening intently to every word that has poured out of our mouths

with her hand on her chin and her face in a scowl. Without a word so rose out of her seat and

walked out of the room. We were left alone in her living room not knowing what to do or even

what to say to each other that would help make sense of this whole mess.

After a few minutes without her returning, I went to find her. I found her in the kitchen talking on

the phone.

You come here now, child. Dont make me tell you again. With that she hung up the phone.

Who was that Grandma? Was it mom? You could hear the anger in voice.

Yes. We all need to have a talk.

No! We dont need her. She doesnt care and she probably wont even care enough to come
here.

Trust me, we need to talk.

There was nothing I could do to stop what was coming. There was no where for me and

Charlene to go so we were stuck feeling even more sorrow than before. What was Grandma

thinking? This isnt just something that the family can talk about and it will all get better. This isnt

something that you can see on Dr. Phil and hope that itll work for your specific family situation.

Why cant anyone understand what me and Charlene really need is to be away from her

forever?

....

Shes here. She just pulled up. Grandma yelled from the front room.

I dont care if she is here, I will not come out to meet her. Grandma can do all the hugging and

reminiscing that she wants but I refuse to let that woman see me as anything but strong and

right now, I am not strong. I could hear Grandma saying stuff like its so good to see you honey!

How is everything going in your life? Then at this point mom would say stuff like Oh Im fine.

My firm is involved with this and that and blah blah blah crap that keeps me away from my

children that I dont care about anyway...okay, maybe I only heard what I wanted to hear. I dont

care about new thing that her firm is doing.

Emma, Charlene! Get down here and say hello to your mother!

I will not come down and listen to anything that monster has to say!

Yeah! Me either! Charlene said, my guess was for dramatic effect and to really make mom feel

terrible.

That is when I heard the footsteps approaching the room with a quick sense of urgency and a

very angry Grandma rushing into the room pointing her finger at us.

You get down there or I will make you go down there myself. If you dont give her a chance to

talk then I will kick you out of this house so fast that you wont even have a moment to catch

your breath.
Well that just scared the crap out of me.

Fine, but dont expect me to reach out and give her a hug or anything because that isnt

happening. If anything I will smack her across the face.

You will do no such thing. Even though she hasnt been a great mother you still owe her the

respect of giving you life.

Right there the argument was lost and I found myself walking down stairs to really confront my

mother about everything that she had done in my life (or lack thereof).

I wish I could say that I expected what was coming. Like maybe it would be a sob story of how

she tried to be there but really couldnt because she was too busy working to provide for us, but

instead she just sat on the couch listening to what Grandma was saying. He didnt even speak

one word until Grandma directly asked her a question.

Jenny darling, what do you think about all of this?

After a long silence, she finally spoke.

Nothing. I dont know what the problem is. Every other teenager in the world wants nothing to

do with their parents so why am I the one that gets the kids that want their mother to be around

them 24/7 watching everything that they do? I just dont understand it.

Ah, there is my mother. She finally is doing something that I recognize.

You really dont see how messed up that is? Now its my turn to talk. I mean its not the fact

that you give us our space its the fact that even when we want to talk to you its like you dont

care. You dont listen to us, or even talk to us for that matter. It makes us feel unwanted. It is a

form of abuse that lives psychologically. I hate everything about my life except for having

Charlene in it. Other than that, I feel like I am a waste of space and Charlene feels the same. Do

you really want your daughters growing up to hate you? I just unleashed years of resentment

and anger in those few sentences but I didnt feel like I was done.

No, lets not wait until we grow up. Ill be honest with you right here and right now. I hate you! I

stood up and yelled this as loud as I could and ran out of the room.
I dont know exactly what happened in the room after I left but I didnt really care. She could

have just shrugged it off and left or she could maybe finally show some emotion but knowing

her, it would be the former. Thirty minutes later, I heard the door open and her car starting. Off

she went again and all I could think was good riddance. Grandma came up into the room.

You didnt handle that well at all.

I told you she doesnt care. She never has and she never will.

She at least wanted to find out what you thought and I guess she did find it out.

What did she think of my little outburst then?

After you left, she did something unexpected.

Oh yeah? Did she fall asleep out of boredom or something. right now, sarcasm was my only

comfort.

No. She smiled and said thats my girl.

Im sorry, come again? Grandma didnt really say that did she?

No she didnt. That would never come out of moms mouth.

I know that you cant understand the things that she has done because they seem so terrible

and hurtful but you need to understand something. Sometimes when a tragedy happens to

someone, they put up shields to protect their emotions from being hurt again. We all do it. When

your dad died, I moved away from my family because every time I looked at you kids I could see

your dad in you. Your mom did something too. She turned off all emotion to protect herself from

getting hurt in the same way again.

I dont understand what you are telling me Grandma. Are you saying that deep down

underneath all the crap she has put us through, she really does care and really does feel

something?

Im saying that she has a guard up that only you can bring down.

Grandmas last words, and she left to go down the kitchen and leave me stewing and thinking. I

was thinking for almost an hour when Charlene finally spoke up and said the most helpful thing
that anyone has ever said to me.

Forgive and forget Emma. Dad would want us to see why he fell in love with her in the first

place. Maybe that is what mom is waiting for. She just needs to see that we still love her. Emma,

we need to show mom love in order for her to know that it is ok for her to show that she loves

us.

What did you just say? Since when are you smarter then me?

Emma, this isnt me being smarter than you. Its me finally speaking up and knowing what is the

right thing to do.

Well I guess it became pretty clear what I needed to do. I needed to mend the bond between my

mom and me so that we can finally become a family. Its what dad would want.

....

January 14th, 2005 9:39 A.M. Two Weeks Later

It seems like such a long time ago since I ran out to my car and chased my mother down the

highway until I found her at a dive in southern California. There we talked and we ate and we

talked some more. There were tears and even yelling. Im sure the owners of the dive were very

confused as to what was going on. We talked about everything from dad all the way to talking

about the future. I told her about school and she told me about work. We were bonding and the

feeling was incredible. I havent talked to her for that long in such a long time that I literally was

crying because I was so happy. I had truly forgiven her the moment Charlene made me look at

things outside of just me. I think mom was finally ready to try after my meltdown had shown her

how far away she had truly drifted. Since then, its like she is coming back to us a little each day.

The best thing that I could have done was forgive all the things that my mom had done in the

past so that we could all start a new future together. I am excited to see what it has in store for

us.
 Open Genre Analysis

The particular genre that I have chosen to do for this assignment is fiction. I like fiction

because it has the ability to transport the reader to a different place and even a different time. It

is an art writing fiction and I love reading it. My favorite author writes fiction books and has over

twenty novels that I can have the pleasure of reading. Not only did I write a fiction short story but

I wrote one that is based in reality and has the chance to be true even though it isnt based off of

any true events that have happened to me or anyone I know. This genre is called realistic

fiction. This genre is described as the form of any work that deals, in part or in whole, with

information or events that are not real, but rather, imaginary and theoretical (that is, it is fiction

but it is based off of stuff that can actually happen. It doesnt have things in there that arent real

that something like a science fiction would have.) This genre has characteristics of a story that

can have personal connections with the reader and can often be compared to a memoir in the

way that it is written. It can follow a character and go through what the character has gone

through. I love Ted Dekker books and while some of his stories arent realistic fiction, he does

have some that are entirely realistic fiction. The Priest Graveyard is an example of one. Diary of

a teenage girl by Melody Carlson is another one and The Devil Wears Prada (yes its a book) by

Lauren Weisberger

The examples that I listed above show a clear form of realistic fiction because it follows

the life (or a moment in the life) of a person and the people around them. It is like reading a
memoir of events that could actually happen but didnt. That is where the fiction part comes in.

We could say that TV shows use this form of genre all the time because a lot of TV shows are

based on everyday life that is exaggerated to make it more interesting, but are still things that

arent impossible. The emotion in it is real and the logic in it is real. There are no hoops to jump

through when trying to relate to this genre.

If I were to divide my genre up even further (because I already divided the fiction genre

into realistic fiction) the it would have to be considered a juvenile realistic fiction story because it

is about a teenager. Usually when stories are about teenagers, they get categorized as being for

juveniles. The examples I listed above actually dont really fit into this sub-genre except for the

Diary of a Teenage Girl. That isnt hard to explain at all but the other two books that I used for

my example are books for an older audience. Ted Dekkers book is suspenseful and not for

young children who spook easily and the Devil Wears Prada is definitely for a mature audience

only.

The purpose of the genre I have chosen is for entertainment value and to quench the

hunger that readers feel when searching for a good book to read. It is used to pass the time and

to get lost into a world that is different from theirs or can relate to their lives even. I picked it

because I knew that writing this would be fun and enjoyable, which it was.

This analysis helped shape my genre into a story rather than just an event that could

have happened but didnt really have a beginning or an end. Now, it has a clear beginning and a

clear ending. Hopefully, it will leave the reader wanting more and makes the reader think about

what they might do in that sort of situation. I hope that I wrote something that makes the reader

feel good too.