Paul Lichtenstern and James Thomson

Laughing Matter
Paul Lichtenstern and James Thomson
 First published in Great Britain in 2016 by End of Moving Walkway

Copyright 2016 End of Moving Walkway

The right of End of Moving Walkway to be identified as the author of this work has
been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents
Act 1988.

All rights in these plays are strictly reserved and application for performances etc
should be made to End of Moving Walkway, 18 Linden Road, London, N11 1ER. No
performance may be given unless a licence has been obtained.
Laughing Matter was first staged at the Kings Head
Theatre, London, on 28 June 2016 by End of Moving
Walkway. The production featured the following cast
and creatives:

James / James James Thomson

Simon / Keith Keith Hill

Directed by Paul Lichtenstern

Lighting & Video by Richard Williamson
Sound by Anna Clock
Even as I am talking to you part of your brain is changing.
Simon McBurney

I have encountered two main reactions to the Basic Argument.

On the one hand it convinces almost all the students with
whom I have discussed the topic of free will and moral
responsibility. On the other hand it often tends to be
dismissed, in contemporary discussion of free will and moral
responsibility, as wrong, or irrelevant, or fatuous, or too rapid,
or an expression of metaphysical megalomania.
Galen Strawson

Allearthly hues every stately or lovely emblazoning the

sweet tinges of sunset skies and woods; yea, and the gilded
velvets of butterflies, and the butterfly cheeks of young girls;
all these are but subtile deceits, not actually inherent in
substances, but only laid on from without.
Herman Melville

I was somebody's golden child, somebody's little hope. Now,

I'm more just, you know, a local resident. Another earthling.
Will Eno

Art exists that one may recover the sensation of life; it exists to
make one feel things, to make the stone stony.
Viktor Shklovsky

Ask me what Im being. Say what are you being?

Tim Crouch

Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it

every, every minute?
Thornton Wilder
Cast

Laughing Matter is a play for two actors, a younger actor and

an older actor.

James / James 22
Simon / Keith 50s

In our original cast the younger actor was called James and the
older actor was called Keith. The characters names should be
changed accordingly. If you cast an actor called Simon (in
either role), change the Dads name from Simon to Jeremy. If
you have both a Simon and a Jeremy in your cast (really?),
change the Dads name to Keith.

Specificity

Locations, dates and times that appear in the script should

definitely be updated for any production.

Structure / Aesthetic

The play is in three parts and the second part is structured as a

theme with five variations. The aesthetic of each of the three
sections will need to be vastly different.

Stage Directions

Only those stage directions absolutely necessary to the

understanding of a beat or an idea have been included in the
script. Our production experimented with among other
things ambitious use of video design in part one.
 LAUGHING MATTER

Part One

House lights up. The audience are settling. James has a

microphone.

James Hi, everyone. Good evening. Before we begin, I want to

say that last night a friend of my Dad came to see the show. He
was - like all my family, actually - quite angry with me. Not as
angry as my mum, but still. He thought it was disrespectful to
stage this story. Callus was the word he used. We chatted
after the show, and he suggested I explain myself to you in the
same way. So before the show this evening I scribbled down a
few things - well, literally three things - to defend my choice of
subject matter.

Bernard - thats my dads friend - took particular issue with

this story beingperformedin a theatre. If Id made an album
about my feelings hed have loved it, but the stage seems
somehow, what, voyeuristic? Distrust of the theatre because
of the uncomfortable blurring it creates between what is real
and what is fictional - is nothing new. The Greeks called the
theatre theatron, literally the viewing place which is
interesting because I always think the theatrical world is
constituted mainly by things you dont see. You dont, for
instance, see

Mobile phone in audience starts to ring.

Ruth, sat there behind you, operating the sound and lights.
And whilst you know that the sound and lighting effects that
happen here arent real

He gets out a microphone. To Ruth:

Ok, thanks Ruth.

The phone stops. He continues.

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Whilst you know the sound and lighting effects in here arent
real, when you begin to get caught up in the world on stage,
focus in on this frame, you forget that theres an architect
behind everything you see. When youre sat in the audience
you dont think, for example

James goes backstage. Transition to voiceover is

seamless.

James (VO) About the fact that theres a dressing room

hidden back here. And when you do it reminds you that we are
in a theatre and that the words

James returns with a bottle of water.

Im speaking, they arent real either. By which, of course, I

mean that theyre scripted.

Script projected, line by line:

James So in a sense I can understand the position my family

are coming from when they -

Drops water.

Oh, god, thats embarrassing Great. Great start. Thats totally

messed up my bit about being in control.

He laughs, embarrassed. Projection ends.

Anyway, I do understand their position: in telling a true story,

the theatre can upset the boundaries between someone who is
acting and someone who is just being. A boundary Ive never
really understood. Speaking of boundaries and theatre, its
funny quite how close we make you sit to the person next to
you, far too close for normal social interaction. Which you
might notice when the lights go down

House lights go down.

10
 LAUGHING MATTER

and you become acutely aware of their presence. Acutely

aware that were now a room full of strangers, sat in the dark
and, for the most part, not speaking to one another. Its like the
end of a bad party. Or a sance. And thats just the beginning
soon were going to start pretending. Pretending, say, that this
chair is a gravestone, or this banana is yellow, or that we
cram within this wooden O the very casques that did affright
the air at Agincourt. Ok, well, we probably wont do that. But
you get my point - not only do we stop seeing the things that
are here, but we start seeing things that arent.

Sudden cut to a graveyard, blue sky, beautiful day.

James puts flowers on his Dads grave, or something.

The sun is shining in the sky, there aint a cloud in sight. Its
stopped raining, everybodys in the play

We have returned to the theatre.

I always promised Id put my dads favourite song in a play.

But the song is, of course, a lie. Mr. Blue Sky isnt blue, just like
this banana is not yellow. As my younger sister could tell you
colour isnt real - its imaginative. Yellowness doesn't exist in
bananas, its the effect of light waves bouncing off the banana,
into your eyes, and sending a signal to your brain which then
produces the sensation of yellowness. Its all created in what
philosophers of consciousness call the theatre of the mind.
Weve all got our own little theatre in here, which creates the
fiction that this banana is yellow and delicious.

But once you accept that objects are not coloured not blue,
not black and white, not even greyscale, it becomes impossible
to picture the world around us. Step out of the frame,
acknowledge the sleight of hand

House lights back up, full, in a flash.

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and what does anything, or any one, actually look like? We

see the world as a collection of coloured shapes. Without
them?

Pause. Black out.

And the theatre of the mind is not just a visual theatre. As Im

talking my voice is creating vibrations which pass through the
air and BAM hit your ear drums. BAM - did you feel it? BAM.
Thats causing your ear drum to vibrate, these vibrations
travel along the auditory nerve, into the brain and become
interpreted as sound. The English language is just a very
specific system of vibrations. You know the old proverb: if a
tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it
make a sound? No. It makes some particles dance in the air.
That which we call sound, that thing youre listening to right
now, this, only exists in the mind. In your private theatre
which turns all of this matter into experience. Outside of your
mind, the world is colourless and silent.

So Im creating the world as I experience it, when I experience

it. And sure, it is cool to think that a sunset or a requiem takes
place inside my head. But its also scary to think that I can
know nothing about how the world actually is. Have I created
it the same as you? Is your red like mine, or do you experience
red as I experience blue, or maybe in the way I hear a chord of
music, or feel anger? It all depends on what happens in here
and Ive got no access to whats going on inside your head.
Which seemslonely. What can you really trust other than
yourself? Because you can trust yourself, right? Youre in
control of you. Right? If you wanted to, you could choose to
stand up right now and walk out of this theatre.

Pause.

Good choice. Im always kind of worried when I do that bit.

Because if I was in the audience, Im not saying Id do it, but Id
definitely have a little part of me that would be like: Do it. Oh

12
 LAUGHING MATTER

no, dont. No actually do it, see what happens So, thanks for
choosing to stay.

When I was younger that voice was a terror. Like when I was
having dinner with my parents I would get this massive urge
to just grab a handful of food and throw it in their faces. And I
used to get a little thrill thinking, I just could, I bloody could.
Im not saying I will, but I could. And I like it. I like thinking
that, despite all the restrictions on how to behave and to dress
and to think, despite all of that Im still free to grab your pint
and throw it over your head.

Im not being facetious. Its actually really important to feel

that youre free to do silly things when the whim takes you.
Free to choose what to say and what to think to be the
author of your own life. The belief that you are free to make
your own choices dictates our whole justice system, our
politics, our referendums. If youre not free to choose, who
could blame you for anything? Why bother getting out of bed
in the morning? Free will is essential to being human.

Its also not true. We have no control over any of the decisions
we make. Free will is an illusion.

But you just made a choice. You chose to stay in your seat. We
know that we do the things we do, because of the exact person
we are at the moment we do them. If you were slightly
different you would have acted slightly differently. But we
have no control over who we are.

I mean, you didnt choose your genes and (God knows) you
didnt choose your parents. You didnt choose your early
interactions with the world and you didnt choose the kind of
child those genes and parents and interactions sculpted you
into... And then, at some point, whenever it was, you started to
choose thingsbut the things you chose were a result of who
you already werewhich, of course, you hadnt chosen. And
here we all are.

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To escape this chain of cause and effect you need a moment at

which you freely choose to be the person you are, a moment at
which you cause yourself. But to cause yourself you need to
have existed before you existedwhich is quite clearly
impossible.

And while people have been aware of this for centuries,

science is only just beginning to offer proofs. Computers can
now predict the outcome of your simple binary choices (like,
should I stand up or stay sitting?) before youve consciously
chosen what to do. Soon theyll be able to predict your next
sentence. Verbatim.

Script projected:

Youre just as scripted as me. Potatoes. Banana. Motorbike.

Dad. (Now watch me go radically off script)

Actor says any random word different each night.

Script reads:

______

Projection ends.

Theres no difference All the worlds a stage and all the men
and women merely players. You know he said that 400 years
before the MRI scanner was invented?

But despite all this Ive still got that little voice in my head. The
one that says go on, stand up or throw the food or no
James, a seventh pint is not a good idea this evening. That
voice is also a product of cause and effect. Even our very
thoughts are scripted.

Maybe youre like my dad - whenever I had this conversation

with him hed raise one arm in the air and say but I choose
this, James. Without realising that his very action was caused
by the conversation we were having.

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 LAUGHING MATTER

If, like my Dad, you remain unconvinced, thats ok. You have no
say in the matter. Its just, well I dont knowa lot of people I
know think bananas are yellow. And its frustrating because I
cant blame them. Cause and effect, one thing after another,
and us, bouncing around between it all like a pinball.

Or like actors. Scurrying around reciting lines we haven't

written. All of us. Outside this theatre, people up and down the
high street, getting drinks, getting food, getting chatted up,
getting boredall scripted. Those leaving work, those
commuting home, the billion sitting down to dinner, or to
breakfast, the three born during the length of this sentence.
The two dead. Its all scripted. But if all the worlds a stage
then Im afraid its something of a fringe venue.

Projection of Planet Earth.

This is the set to everything. Every good time youve ever had,
and every bad.

Every great work of art and every great disaster. The birth of
seven thousand languages and the fall of dozens of magnificent
empires. It all happened here. Desert plagues, dental plaque,
your in-laws, out-laws, the boring, the drunken, the lonely, the
beautiful, the foreign, fragile, hungry, sweaty, cranky, horny,
placid, the bereaved, the bereft, those silently getting older,
those silently getting deader, the exuberant, the ravers, the
divorcees, the down-and-outs, everybody and every body.
Living and dead. Including, no especially, you.

Im going to ask you all to do something for me. Relax, its very
easy. Id like you to cast your mind back to the best time you
ever had. Dont think too hard, and dont worry if its right. Be
specific. What matters? That perfect evening or some great
achievement a sepia tinted silent film of a string of fleeting
images. You can choose it right now.

Long pause.

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 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Tonight I have a distinctly perfect memory of my dads voice,

the actual feel of its great, low rumbles. Im six or seven, in bed
and hes sitting right next to me telling me an amazing bed
time story. Have you got one? Good. Now hold that thought.

A video plays, Earth in the centre, as we zoom into the

distance.

Its difficult to grasp how big space is.

You start with us, right. Planet Earth, where, just three
thousand years ago we believed Atlas carried the sky on his
shoulders, and four hundred years ago we arrested Galileo for
saying the Earth moved around the sun.

Galileo thought the sun was in the centre of the universe. But
actually the sun is just one of two hundred thousand million
stars in The Milky Way galaxy. Ive got no idea how they know
that: if you counted a star ever second it would take more than
six thousand years to count them allbut the telescope is only
four hundred years old.

One, two, three, four, five

Seamless transition to voiceover:

James (VO) Six, seven, eight, nine, ten

Voiceover continues counting. James speaks over the

top.

James Are you holding tight to your memory? The sun, a

million times the size of Earth, is a tiny spec in The Milky Way.
To journey to the next nearest star would take several
thousand years. Yet our galaxy should really feel like home,
considering there are more galaxies in the universe than
people on our planet. Billions of them, scattered like dust.

16
 LAUGHING MATTER

Hold tight. Its just, these distances make our scales redundant.
What good is a metre in the face of a light year? What good a
mile or a minute, or a lifetime?

Voice fades out. Video continues. Blackout. Silence.

Light back James is alone.

But I dont feel that small. I dont feel small when I miss a train,
or somebody starts a war - or somebody dies. Like my dad,
who died on this same planet at our constructed time of
3.42pm, on Tuesday, 17th of January, 2016. Which the more
perceptive of you might, by now, have realised is what this
play is about to be about.

Excerpt of recording plays. Poor quality:

Simon (VO) But also I think that the idea of a building is / just

James (VO) The idea of a building?

Simon (VO) Yes, James. My idea of a building.

Recording ends. Pause.

James Thats my Dad. I told you Id be honest. All this

happened. Tennyson said that it was half a sin, To put in
words the grief I feel; For words, like Nature, half reveal, And
half conceal the Soul within.

But even if I had wanted to, I could never have put words in
his mouth and Im not interested in rewriting the past.
Instead Ive used his actual words. In working on a different
piece of theatre I was developing about family, I ended up with
tens of hours of secretly recorded conversation. Mundane
family dinners, conversations in the car, comments whilst
watching the TV. Funny how the mundane can suddenly
become significant. After he died these recordings, these

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 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

fragments, were all I had left of him. I listen to them

obsessively. His voice repeats and distorts in my head.

What youre going to see this evening is a fragment of my

father, taken verbatim from a recording five days before he
died. The actor Keith Hill will be playing Dad - with an
earpiece giving him my recording live. I will pretend to be
myself.

Someone walks out.

So yeah, like I said, before the show I scribbled down three

ideas. The three ideas that have mocked me ever since he died.
Because in light of them, I have really struggled to make sense
of my dadjust

He clicks his fingers. Pause.

This really is your moment to leave by the way, if this isnt

your type of thing. If you cant face the facts and want to check
out early, youre free to go. But let me just say this. Despite
those ideas, grief is still very real. You might know youre a
tiny accident, infinitesimally small, suspended in nothing and
surrounded by emptinessand yet

Mr Blue Sky begins softly.

And yet something will catch you and your frame will shrink. It
will shrink right down and youll be sitting in your childhood
bedroom replaying that final recording and listening to his
favourite song. And you dont care that hearing it isnt real, you
cant care, because while youre there, it means something. In
that moment it really does mean something. And it
matters. This matters. Even if only to me.

Music escalates. James changes. Snaps into:

18
 LAUGHING MATTER

Part Two

James is drying himself with a towel. He takes out his phone and
presses record, just as Simon enters wearing an earphone.

Simon Oh. Youre here. I thought

James I was in the shower.

Simon Just you didnt answer when / I

James I was in the shower. I literally just got out the shower /
because you were shouting so much.

Simon Sorry, I didnt realise

Pause.

Was I shouting that loud? I guess I didnt know if you were

here and I / thought

James Just so Im like clearwhy were you shouting?

Simon I wasnt sure you could hear me. Did you see the
bananas?

James Did I see the bananas?

Simon They were on the the thing in the bowl. And I didnt
think we had any bananas when I left this morning so it just I
guess it just surprised me thats all. So I thought, maybe he
went to the shop / and

James I didnt go to the shop.

Simon You didnt?

James No.

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 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Simon Well Nancys been out all day and the bananas must
have arrived somehow they / didnt just

James OR MAYBE I DID GO TO THE SHOP. Its hardly like the

significant fucking event of the century!

Simon I never said it was the most, um

Pause.

So you did buy / the

James I brought them home from work last night. Is that ok?

Pause.

For fucks sake. Its / not exactly a reason to like shout me out
of the shower just to talk about it though.

Simon James, please!

James I mean in fact its really really weird. To get like

extremely worked up because suddenly there are some
bananas in the house in the fruit bowl that you didnt buy.

Pause.

I just dont understand how that can matter to you when /

the

Simon Alright, James. Im sorry for shouting... Its just, from

my perspective, which you never quite seem to account for,
from my perspective it was surprising / that

James Yeah but why Dad why should it surprise you that I
brought / bananas

Simon They werent there earlier and now / there

20
 LAUGHING MATTER

James I like bananas. They have lots of vitamins. Theyre

really conveniently packaged. Theyre like exactly the right
size for one portion. Some people think that they are proof of...
Why should it surprise you to find bananas in your fruit bowl?

Simon I dont know. It was just strange. Normally I know

what food is in the house and I guess

Pause.

Aww my god Im exhausted.

Pause.

We just seem to you have your priorities and I have / mine

James Bananas.

Simon Im just so tired. You know what I just... I nearly fell

over on the stairs Like I quite forgot that they were actually
there. Falling over in tiredness. Im sure you know all about
that.

Pause.

Gee whiz. [tailing off] Gee, gee, gee, gee.

Pause.

James You just said Gee whiz. Gee, gee, gee, gee.

Simon Yeah. Andwhats your point?

James Nothing. Youre home early.

Simon Quiet one today. What are these socks all of a sudden?

James Theyre not all of a sudden.

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 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Simon Well Ive never seen them before.

James Yeah but that doesnt mean they dont exist. There are
literally like billions of things that you havent seen before but
still exist. Like, I dunno, most of the blades of grass in the
world?

Simon I just meant Ive never seen them before. They look
like nice socks.

He turns to leave.

James Bye then?

Simon What?

James Nothing.

Pause.

Its just you shout me out of the shower for no apparent

reason so then dont just walk out on me!

Simon Why?

James Because you like initiate this / and

Simon James, you asked me why I found it surprising that,

why I was surprised by the bananas I said I didnt know.
What more can I do? I just did find it surprising. What more
can I do?

Pause.

Im going to start on dinner. Had lunch at midday, so. Only an

egg sandwich. / Ill make a

James What are we having?

22
 LAUGHING MATTER

Simon What would you like?

James Whatever.

Simon Well weve got the leftover potatoes. Nancy will be

home late so its just for us and I thought we could open a nice
beer. Would you like that?

James Sure, whatever - that sounds great.

Pause.

Im sorry for shouting.

Simon Yeah, well. Ill go / and

James Um, how was Malcolm? / Did you see him today

Simon I better get started then. Hes fine, fine. Fine. Anyway. I
had lunch at / midday, so I better go

James Dad, I was going to say, you know you were like asking
about your website?

Simon Hmm?

James You know you were asking about your website? Well
maybe it is a good idea for me to lend a hand with it after all. I
know Im busy but it will be literally so easy and it definitely
does need a little you know.

Simon Oh, well thanks James. Thanks / for

James Yeah I was just thinking it might help with and / it

Simon Malcolm has already done a bit of you know he

changed our / logo and

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 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

James Yeah but hes hardly capable of You know what I

mean.

Simon Im not sure that I do, James.

James Malcolm doesnt exactly have like the skills required to

make the kind of improvements / that

Simon Malcolm is a very old friend, James!

James WHICH HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING

GOOD AT GRAPHIC DESIGN. Does it?

Simon Thats not what I was / trying to

James Hes incompetent! When it comes to graphic design or

marketing or social media - or just like generally being
professional. Hes totally fucking incompetent! You know that.

Simon Thats not fair actually James. I find that really

objectionable actually. You think you / understand

James Ive seen his work!

Simon Jenny Hollins complemented me on our website last

week actually. Whats / wrong with the

James Oh, well if Jenny Hollins says so, it must be good. Thats
some like waterproof - watertight market research you have /
there

Simon And I know exactly what youre thinking. For / your

information Malcolm had absolutely nothing to do with what
happened last week.

James How can you possibly know exactly what Im thinking?

Pause.

24
 LAUGHING MATTER

Simon Sometimes things just happen. Maybe one day youll

be old enough to understand that.

James Im going to Im gonna ignore that not-very-subtle

ageism. This isnt about what happened last week. Its about
your website being like way below the standard of where it
should definitely be and your being too precious about it to let
me fix it which I just like generously offered to do for / you.

Simon No, James. What this is about is you not valuing the
skills that I I think youll find that I am very very good at my
job. You should see all the so many people say to me. Not just
Jenny Hollins. / And

James But none of / your designs

Simon No, no let me finish what Im maybe your work

would be useful or would help to modernise or slicken it up a
bit. But not everything is about modernising or slickening up. /
Sometimes

James Dad, you dont get anything built. Obviously I value

your skills and youre totally great and - but also obviously its
not working - because you never like actually get anything
built.

Pause.

Simon I think youll find I have great pride in my work. Im

very proud of the skills I have and the respect that other
people have for me. Proud. And that matters, James. That other
people respect and care for your work is of a significance. And
these people, some of these people express, have also
expressed a genuine appreciation, I mean they like our
website. It contains the information that they need, not all
singing and dancing and jumping about but all the information
is there and available for them.

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 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Pause.

James I cant even begin to there are literally so many things

wrong with what you / just said.

Simon OH, DONT GIVE ME THAT, JAMES. Dont give me so

many things wrong. Try and / listen for

James No, no, no. People pay you to make a plan sure
sometimes a good, like a really really good plan. But they dont
then once youve made the plan, they dont like ask you to
and if you had a better I mean more professional package
altogether then people would ask, would be more likely to
want you to actually thats all Im saying.

Pause.

And I dont know how you can stand it. / Like

Simon You dont need / to know

James BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF MAKING SOMETHING IS

TO SHARE IT WITH OTHER PEOPLE. To like fight against
having a miserable and lonely life trapped inside your own
head. If like some writer says that they dont care whether or
not millions of other people read their work I think they are
just lying or maybe they misunderstand what it is to be an
artist in the first place and they shouldnt be allowed to
make Look the reason we put it into language is because
language is shared. It is like intrinsic or essential to artistic
expression that you express something in language and
because language is a medium designed to be shared it is
therefore like essential to artistic expression that other people
see it.

Simon Sure.

James What do you mean sure?

26
 LAUGHING MATTER

Simon I agree with that.

James Well, I mean, its right.

Pause.

Simon But also I think that the idea of a building is / just

James The idea of a building?

Simon Yes, James. My idea of a building. Its just as real, as

substantial, as... Its like the idea of yellow cars coming before
people started to / make

James Dad, what?

Simon Ok maybe that wasnt a very good its just in my book

I value / my ideas as

James Youve written a book now? Or is that also just an idea?

Pause.

Simon I went to see Bernard yesterday and hes got this new
motorbike, right. Obviously they did quite well out of the
whole thing with the Fulham house, and so hes bought himself
this shiny new motorbike. And I get / there

James Is this like a new story? Or is this / like an example

for

Simon I get there and hes painting it all sorts / of

James Is this a new story or is this an example for the purpose

of illustrating your / point?

Simon When I arrive hes painting / it and

James WHY WONT YOU ANSWER ME? / HELLO?!

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 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Simon Red, black Im trying to tell / you

James No, no, no I WANT TO KNOW IF YOURE JUST

TELLING ME SOMETHING ABOUT A MOTORBIKE OR IF ITS
PART OF LIKE A CONTINUOUS / EXAMPLE.

Simon Obviously! Obviously its continuous. Why would I say

something that wasnt / continuous?

James You mean its an example? So in a minute, once youve

like finished the example youre going to say this means that
and describe like how it contributes to the overall structure of
your argument or something?

Simon Im not having an / argument.

James YOU STILL NEED STRUCTURE!

Simon Maybe I just shouldnt talk sometimes.

Pause.

I FEEL SO ATTACKED. And so humiliated. Because I dont feel

Im

Pause.

Im feeling humiliated because you dont think Im worth

anything I dont think I have the ability to talk in
conversation, to converse, to make conversation with you.

James So, Dad, like, firstly like sorry if you feel humiliated

Simon No not I feel: you do. [as in you do the attacking]

James Being humiliated is a feeling that you have not um a

thing that like happens to you. Anyway what I was trying to
articulate is that maybe when you started talking about
Bernard painting his new motorbike you were worried that it

28
 LAUGHING MATTER

wouldnt be a good example for what you were going to say

and that I would like criticise it for not accurately /
representing

Simon Which you do all the time.

James Only because what youre actually trying to say gets

obscured behind like an inadequate example that doesnt
capture the real Or is just really messy in the way it
translates to the ideas that youre actually wanting to express.

Pause.

You want to be clear, right?

Pause.

If you want me to like understand what youre look you say

that you dont need to actually see a design like actualised in
order for it to matter, that last week, those really beautiful
plans that didnt bother you. But I compared it to art and you
agreed with me! The purpose of a building is to be used and
you cant use an idea at least not in the same way. And that
bullshit example of yellow cars what does that mean? Its just
so infuriating, I find it infuriating / when

Simon Why do you have to dissect every example I / make

James BECAUSE OTHERWISE IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING.

If I was like, I dunno, pigs cant fly because Hitler was like a
really bad person youd be like what the fuck, James.

Simon That is absurd!

James But you see / my

Simon No what on earth does this / have to do with Hitler?

James OK, SORRY... [about Hitler] IT WAS AN EXAMPLE!

29
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Pause.

Look Im really sorry, like, I completely acknowledge that in

conversation with you I am sort ofbecause youre my dad I
might sometimes I do, sometimes, assert the things that I feel
with lots of people more strongly with you than I do with
other people. And if the effect of that is that at times you feel
humiliated then thats like also obviously not something I
want. So like I will make an effort to be less confrontational in
how I

Pause.

But I also think that the reason you find lots of the things Im
saying so humiliating is because they are like grounded in
truth. In facts. And that is difficult for you to accept because it
is sad. Sorry if this is its really important that I get to say
this.

Pause.

Look, time after time you invest so much passion and like hard
work into your ideas And Im sorry that its difficult or
embarrassing or whatever I am sorry about that but, Dad,
to deny that its a problem is so incredibly frustrating. Its
pathetic. And maybe youre not, you dont agree with / that
but

Simon I hope you realise. How much youre hurting me here.

James No thats not the point!

Simon Im trying, James, Im trying really really hard to accept

this thing which is that you believe that you are so right
which means that from your perceptions my work is, from
your perceptions I am so wrong. Which is a really nasty and
pernicious thing for somebody like, for a father to have to

30
 LAUGHING MATTER

Pause.

James What if you are wrong? Its possible, right? It is /

possible?

Simon Oh stop already! How is this useful. The number of

times, the same argument time after time / its

James But we havent gotten anywhere!

Simon So what? I popped up to ask what you wanted for

dinner, and to bring you your / clothes, and

James And to investigate the shit out of the bananas

Simon My work is really good. Maybe I havent designed

anything you would call significant and maybe thats just
where our values are different. But my work is really good,
and lots of people say that Im brilliant and original and
generous and and you know what? I like it. It makes me
happy. My work makes me happy. And - so when you just snuff
at it without any idea of, without knowing the first / thing
about

James I KNOW YOU NEVER... I know that none of your

designs actually exist. Can you not see how totally fucking Oh
my god.

Simon As I said, it seem our value bases are so different /

that

James Because you dont think about yours!

Simon Oh, James, I think about what matters my entire life.

And I know that my thinking would never have justified me
talking to my father like that. Please dont tell me you havent
thought about it.

Pause.

31
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

And Im not just talking about ideas that happen to be shaped

like buildings.

James Ideas that happen to be shaped like buildings

Simon Just things can matter to me in a way thats inside me.

The totally complex collection of things that make up living
and life cant just be structured into neat boxes and And
when you dismiss me as being stupid / or a failure then

James I never said you were stupid youre not a failure, /

Dad

Simon I can name all the flags of all the countries in the entire
world. That might seem pointless to you, or it might not be
artistically valuable or significant or meaningful. But I like that
I can do that, and I taught myself to do that and sure in the
grand philosophical meaning sense maybe it doesnt matter all
that much but I just like it, James.

James It is impressive.

Simon I know its impressive. Lots of / people are

Pause.

James Look, Dad, Im just trying / to

Simon Ill go and put the dinner on. Well have a little beer
with the meal I thought Id do the left-over potatoes.

James Dad, Im sorry that it gets / to this

Simon Ill go and put the dinner on.

James Dad

Pause.

32
 LAUGHING MATTER

Ill cook tomorrow, yeah?

Simon Ok. Im out Thursday night. Thought on Friday I might

go to the pub. Actually I wont go the pub because Ive got my
training the following day.

James laughs.

What? What?

James Its funny. Real life is so funny.

Simon Its quite slapstick isnt it.

James No. Its not.

Simon Isnt it?

James Its funny in a non-contrived, non-slipping over a

banana way.

Simon But you see I remember once, so Malcolm is always

clumsy isnt he hits - he knocks himself and things like that,
and I remember one day, I was sitting at his kitchen table, and
he was doing something on the cooker and I just thought, I
thought to myself if hes not careful hes going to hit his head
on the cooker hood but no its his cooker hood, he knows
where it is. And he lifted his head up and smacked his head on
the cooker hood. And it kinda happened in slow motion
because I was watching / it and

James Well it didnt happen in slow motion.

Simon No, but I, I saw, I half predicted that or thought that it

could happen or something, and it did happen and I. And it
was just really, you know Slapstick!

Into

33
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

James is drying himself with a towel. Simon enters

Simon Oh. Youre here. I thought

James I was in the shower.

Simon Just you didnt answer when / I

James I was in the shower. I literally just got out the shower
because / you were shouting so much.

Simon Sorry, I didnt realise

Pause.

James Dad, I need to tell you something.

Simon Was I shouting that loud? I guess I didnt know if you

were here and I / thought

James Three things, actually.

Simon I wasnt sure you could hear me. Did you see the
bananas?

James No, no, I dont care about the bananas now. This is
about the / universe.

Simon What are these socks all of a sudden?

James Dad

Pause.

Theyre not all of a sudden.

Simon Well Ive never seen them before.

34
 LAUGHING MATTER

James But The world outside your own head is nothing like
you think it is. Colour and sound dont exist. What you sense
and what there / actually is

Simon I just meant Ive never seen them before. They look
like / nice socks.

James The universe is 13.7 billion years old. And human

beings evolved like a couple of hundred thousand years ago.
Does that not make this all a bit pathetic?

Pause.

Simon I dont know. It was just strange. Normally I know

what food is in the house / and I guess

James It doesnt matter.

Simon Im going to start on dinner. Had lunch at midday, so.

Only an egg sandwich. / Ill make a

James What are we having?

Simon What would you like?

Pause.

James Theres this study, that I read about.

Simon Well weve got the leftover potatoes.

James And in the study, people were asked to perform a

series of simple tasks, such as choosing to press a button with
either their right or left hand. And theyre hooked up to an MRI
scanner, and in 90% of cases, the scanner can tell which hand
theyre going to use before they know themselves.

Seven seconds before they felt they had made the decision.
Because it can read the neurological impulses that select their

35
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

decision. So while theyre sat there, thinking right hand or left

hand, right hand or left hand the scanner reads / the electrical
signals

Simon Nancy will be home late so its just for us.

James It means were just like robots.

Simon Im not sure that I do, James.

James Dad please, this is important. If were just this

biological matter, then me, the thing that I think I am, is just
sat there just watching seven seconds behind.

Simon Thats not what I was / trying to

James Which seems like a really, really important thing to

know. Because, if thats right - and that seems pretty right -
then I dont / know

Simon Malcolm is a very old friend, James!

James WHICH HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING

GOOD AT GRAPHIC DESIGN. Does it?

Simon Thats not fair actually James. I find that really

objectionable actually. You think you / understand

James Dad. / Please.

Simon What?

James Can you just consider this?

A long pause.

Simon Well, its the unconscious isnt it? Sigmund Freud.

James Sorry?

36
 LAUGHING MATTER

Simon Its just your unconscious brain, thats, that is making a

decision, its still you. Its your unconscious you. You still
choose left or right.

James But its not, thats not a choice, is it? Thats just some
biology. For me to choose it, I have to be actually conscious of
choosing. My body, my chemicals make the choice and tells my
mind which one to choose and then my consciousness goes
Oh, I pick my right hand but its already been like / decided
for me

Simon James, James, James.

Pause. Simon raises his right hand above his head.

Say what you want, but no one else chose that. Now, please
choose what you want for dinner.

James No, you dont get it! Please try and understand that
Dad, I want to talk with you.

Simon Cant blame me. I didnt choose it. Nothing to do with

me.

Into

37
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

James is drying himself with a towel. Simon enters The actors

have swapped characters. The younger man plays Simon, and
the older man plays James.

Simon Oh. Youre here. I thought

James Um, I was in the shower?

Long pause.

This is an example, right? So in a minute, once youve like

finished the example youre going to say this means that and
describe like how it contributes to the overall structure of
your argument or something?

Simon Im not having an / argument.

James YOU STILL NEED STRUCTURE!

Pause.

If I was like, I dunno, pigs cant fly because Hitler was like a
really bad person youd be like what the fuck, James.

Simon That is absurd!

James But you see / my

Simon No what on earth does this / have to do with Hitler?

James OK, SORRY... [about Hitler] IT WAS AN EXAMPLE!

Pause.

Look Im really sorry, like, I completely acknowledge that in

conversation with you I am sort ofbecause youre my dad I
might sometimes

Pause.

But I also think that the reason you find lots of the things Im
saying so humiliating is because they are like grounded in

38
 LAUGHING MATTER

truth. In facts. And that is difficult for you to accept because it

is sad. Sorry if this is its really important that I get to say
this.

Pause.

Look, time after time you invest so much passion and like hard
work into your ideas And Im sorry that its difficult or
embarrassing or whatever I am sorry about that but, Dad,
to deny that its a problem is so incredibly frustrating. Its
pathetic. And maybe youre not, you dont agree with / that
but

Simon My work is really good. Maybe I havent designed

anything you would call significant and maybe thats just
where our values are different. But my work is really good,
and lots of people say that Im brilliant and original and
generous and and you know what? I like it. It makes me
happy. My work makes me happy. And - so when you just snuff
at it without any idea of, without knowing the first / thing
about

James I KNOW YOU NEVER... I know that none of your

designs actually exist. Can you not see how totally fucking Oh
my god.

Into...

39
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

James is drying himself with a towel. Simon enters He cant

hear James he responds to the lines James originally said.

Simon Oh. Youre here. I thought

James I was having a shower, Dad.

Simon Just you didnt answer when / I

James No, because I was in the shower. But Im out now.

Simon Sorry, I didnt realise.

Pause.

James Dad, youre going to - to

Pause.

Simon I wasnt sure you could hear me. Did you see the
bananas?

James In under a week. Dad? In less than one week from

now...

Long pause.

Simon Maybe I just shouldnt talk sometimes.

Pause.

James I cant bear this.

Simon I FEEL SO ATTACKED. And so humiliated. Because I

dont feel Im

James I know. I know. And I am so / sorry.

Simon Im feeling humiliated because you dont think Im

worth anything - I dont think I have the ability to talk in
conversation, to converse, to make conversation with you.

James I cant bear this. Every night. Every, every night.

40
 LAUGHING MATTER

Simon No not I feel: you do. [as in you do the attacking]

James I didnt mean for this to happen. I didnt mean to ignore

/ you.

Simon Which you do all the time.

Pause.

James Listen to me, Dad.

Pause.

Dad?

Simon Sometimes things just happen. Maybe one day youll

be old enough to understand that.

Pause

No, James. What this is about is you not valuing the skills that I
I think youll find that I am very very good at my job. You
should see all the so many people say to me. / Not just Jenny
Hollins. And...

James Please try and understand that Dad, I want to talk

with you.

Simon No no let me finish what Im maybe your work

would be useful or would help to modernise or slicken it up a
bit. But not everything is about modernising or slickening up. /
Sometimes

James Dad. Ive been feeling really strange actually. Like I

cant trust myself. And Im obsessed with the idea of what I can
trust: what I see how I feel. And, like, maybe this is some
stupid psychoanalysis and I probably dont know what Im
talking about, but maybe its because I really depended / on
you Dad.

41
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Simon I think youll find I have great pride in my work. Im

very proud of the skills I have and the respect that other
people have for me. Proud. And that matters, James. That other
people respect and care for your work is of a significance. And
these people, some of these people express, have also
expressed a genuine appreciation, I mean they like our
website.

Pause. The dialogue overlaps:

James Simon
And then just like that you
went and died. Which seems
so so pathetic... Its been
such a reminder that the OH, DONT GIVE ME THAT,
universe does not care. That JAMES. Dont give me so
it does not care one bit. And many things wrong. Try
I am trying really, really and listen for
hard to make sense of it... to Pause.
make sense of your dying,
Dad. Im really trying to
make it make sense.
Ok. I dont know what you
And the stupid thing is... The want me to say.
stupid thing is that I think
that you understand that Pause.
you would understand it.
When you died everything
was thrown into sharp
focus: because it doesnt
matter. It really doesnt
matter that you died. But its
still so shit.
Just things can matter to me
Pause. in a way thats inside me.
The totally complex
collection of things that

42
 LAUGHING MATTER

And every time I think that, make up living and life cant
that Im unimportant and just be structured into neat
youre unimportant and that boxes and And when you
pretty soon like really soon dismiss me as being stupid
no-one alive will even know or a failure then
we ever existed. When I
think that I feel really guilty.
Because I know its true, but
Im starting to lose what that
really means.

Into

43
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

James is drying himself with a towel. Simon enters The actors

have returned to their original characters.

Simon Oh. Youre here. I thought

James I was in the Dad, I never said you were stupid

youre not a failure, / Dad.

Simon I can name all the flags of all the countries in the entire
world.

James I know you / can, Dad

Simon I can name all the flags of all the countries in the entire
world.

Pause.

THAT MIGHT SEEM POINTLESS TO YOU, or it might not be

artistically valuable or significant or meaningful.

James I know you / can, Dad.

Simon I LIKE THAT I CAN DO THAT and I taught myself to do

that and sure in the grand philosophical sense maybe it
doesnt matter all that much

I can name all the flags of all the countries in the entire world.

James I know.

Simon I can name all the flags of all the countries in the entire
world.

Long pause.

James I know.

Simon I can name all the flags of all the countries in the entire
world.

I can name all the flags of all in the entire world.

44
 LAUGHING MATTER

I can name flags of all in the entire world.

I can name flags of all the world.

I can name all the world.

I name the world.

I name world.

I world. I world.

World. World. World. World. World. World. World. World.

World.

World.

Long pause. Into...

45
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

James is seven years old. He has finished his bath and is getting
ready for bed.

Simon Oh. Youre here! I thought

James I was in the bath.

Pause.

Simon And youre all fresh and clean now?

James Yes!

Simon Teeth brushed?

James Yes!

Pause. James doesnt get into bed.

Simon Do you want me to stay with you?

James Yes

Simon Ok.

James gets into bed.

James Dad? Whats in the stars?

Simon In the stars? Well. A star is a big ball of fire / that

James No! Whats in them?

Pause.

Simon Well, in the stars are a million other worlds. A million

billion. A gsquillian other worlds.

James How big is a gsquillian?

Simon How big ooh its enormous. Really enormous. And

every star is a sun, just like ours. With rocks and
moons and planets spinning around it. Just like us.

46
 LAUGHING MATTER

Except, the others stars are really far away. Really

far. So far that we cant tell what they look like. Or
how warm they are. Or whether or not anyone lives
there.

But, imagine you went on a journey into space. Imagine you

could fly no broomstick you could just jump up and fly out
into space. And imagine one day you flew to one of the stars,
just to see what it was like, and you stood on one of its planets
and turned around to wave back home

Imagine you did all that. What would you see? Well, you
wouldnt see this tiny tiny house, or your tiny tiny school, or
even our tiny tiny planet. All you would see is a star our sun
twinkling in the distance.

James Thats amazing.

Simon Yes. Yes, it is.

Into

47
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Part Three

In a flash the scene transforms to a post-show Q&A, house lights,

hyper-realistic. James (the actor who played James) and Keith
(who played Simon) are on stage. Comfy chairs, microphones,
perhaps a glass of wine. Questions are delivered pre-recorded.
We enter mid-sentence, perhaps ten seconds into the
introduction.

Keith only fifteen minutes project your questions loud and

clear, please.

To audience member with hand raised.

Hi there.

A wealthy middle aged woman. She literally loves

theatre, and has asked a question at every post-show
Q&A she has ever been to, apart from this one
wherenever mind:

Audience (VO) Hi guys. Loved the show, thanks so much. So

anyway, I was wondering it was like really great to feel so
involved in what was going on with your journeys, emotionally
speaking, and I was wondering what its like as an actor
performing in such a small, um, theatre?

Keith Right. So, I find, speaking personally, that the process is

the same wherever you are. As soon as I change myself and
by that I mean literally become someone different, become my
character, then all that exists to me is the world of the play.
Thats no different if youre in a tiny fringe space like this, or
delivering oh that this too too solid flesh on the Olivier.
Although, I can tell you, the dressing rooms at the National
Theatre are quite something oh my! Now, of course there is
some craft involved in projection and angles but once youve
been, um, over time that really becomes second nature, so no,
no different for me. James?

48
 LAUGHING MATTER

James Um, yeah, hi. Im James. So I havent done that many,

um, plays. So on the first few previews I even found this space
pretty massive and intimidating. I would love to see those
National Theatre dressing rooms though!

Keith [pointing to another questioner] Yes?

Young actor who really cares about loads of issues.

Audience (VO) Um, thanks. So yeah I really love, like love

verbatim theatre. Ive actually performed in quite a lot of
anyway I was wondering if you guys have much verbatim
experience? [hurried:] Because it was like really good and
everything.

James Um, so Ive not actually performed verbatim theatre

before. But I um dont know how to answer this because we
chose can I? - we didnt actually play anything on the
headphones. Um Yeah they were just a prop. I mean, so we
did consider recording the conversation and doing verbatim
acting each night. But Paul, thats our director by the way, he
was interested in um challenging like the notion of verbatim
theatre and I think thats why he chose to have fake
headphones. I dont even think they have batteries. But yeah
its interesting I mean yeah thats why weve tried to make
the story so believable about my characters dad being real
and / also why

Keith Whats crucial here is structure. The structure of the

prologue prepares conditions you the audience, precisely
in order that you might believe that what youre seeing is real.
Structure is whats absolutely crucial.

James Yeah, I / agree.

Keith Hi there.

The Stage Managers mum.

49
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Audience (VO) Hi guys! That was just great! So I thought the

middle bits were really like believable in terms of language
with all the ums and ers. So Im wondering, er, was it difficult
to um learn all the lines?

James So um this was actually one of, well since, no this is my

biggest role so far. But I think the naturalistic language makes
it easier to I dunno digest the lines. And I practiced with loads
of people even my dad actually, which was really weird, ha
but yeah no I was ok with the / lines.

Keith And no disrespect but its actually a bit of a clich a

really um dangerous clich - that line learning is our job. Truth
is: it just happens. For me line learning is less than 3% of the
craft way less. Ive played Hamlet and whats difficult there is
not the lines. No, its tackling the existential you know the
big big questions in a spontaneous, real... Not the lines.

James Um there was the scene where we swapped characters.

In one rehearsal Keith kept saying his I mean my lines and
/ it was

Keith But Ive got them all now, dont you worry. Yes you,
no, to the left, yes.

Female novelist, has absolutely impeccable taste when

it comes to theatre, stayed for the Q&A because she
didnt like the play.

Audience (VO) Susan Emerson here. This is a play performed

and directed by men, about male characters and a central male
relationship. Firstly, do you mean to suggest that a woman
cannot experience existential crisis and, if not, why does the
text not acknowledge its shortcomings?

Keith No, we dont suggest any / such thing, Iok.

James Um, Keith. I think it is important to acknowledge it.

Um, thanks. I

50
 LAUGHING MATTER

Man, in his thirties, who isnt usually offended.

Audience (VO) This isnt a question

Keith [overlapping] One moment, sir

Audience (VO) I believed you all along. Congratulations. My

dad died when I was sixteen.

Pause.

What gives you the right to do that? How dare you manipulate
me. How dare you lie to to make some sort for the sake of
some aesthetic point.

He starts to exit

Excuse me sorry yeah Im sorry.

Door slams.

Keith Um, right. Sorry about that, um. I guess I should

respond by its crucial that I say that free speech freedom
of speech - is really important. As artists / we

James Can I just Id like to say I did think about this I have
a friend whos Dad, um, passed, when she was very young So
when I read the script obviously it made me think But I
guess I just thought that, a story about death is is always a
sad story, especially if... I guess for me and maybe this is just
an actors perspective - but whats the difference Whats the
difference if it happened or not?

A philosophy undergraduate who fucking loves a good

clarification.

Audience (VO) Hi, sorry, um I havent really thought this

through, um not fully anyway, but um after that last question
well it struck me I wanted to ask, um, here goes: what do you
think about the view that art should speak only for itself and
neednt be endlessly criticised, you know? Art for I mean this

51
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

isnt an exact shorthand but it serves the purpose I guess

what do you think about art for arts sake?

James Wow. Yeah I see your Um, to be honest Im not really

sure how to This is actually my first post-show Q&A so
analysing in this way is all a / bit new

Keith Hold on one minute. Now, listen up everyone, Im going

to say something shocking. Actors are people. Real people.
With ideas and get it? The director gets his or her
programme note. Producers, designers even the press team
are asked to explain the show. But actors, the ones who
understand whats going on the most? People just want to
know how many lines we [to earlier questioner] no offence,
of course. In Hamlet I tackled some really deepand I wish
that someone had asked me in this industry its so important
to give a platform to / varying voices and

Back to Susan Emerson.

Audience (VO) Excuse me, sorry. It feels fairly obvious to me

that all these questions are being asked by recorded voices.
Which means this isnt a real Q&A at all. This is still part of the
play. Frankly, why?

Pause.

James Um, Keith do you want to

Keith Um. Well, I, the thing is with fiction, er, so yes the
dichotomy that you have to be aware of, um, Susan, is that the
crucial thing with fiction / should never

Literary Manager of Schabuhne Theatre.

Audience (VO) Following on from that Sebastian Hecht

here from Schabuhne Theatre Berlin have you considered
that this meta-theatrical self-referentiality does not signify per
se, but rather leaves you endlessly chasing your own tail in a

52
 LAUGHING MATTER

feedback loop that ultimately supports the very thesis you

were attempting to refute: that the universe has no meaning.

Awkward pause.

Keith Sorry, could you maybe um repeat the question?

It repeats, identical.

Audience (VO) Following on from that Sebastian Hecht

here from Schabuhne Theatre Berlin have you considered
that this meta-theatrical self-referentiality does not signify per
se, but rather leaves you endlessly chasing your own tail in a
feedback loop that ultimately supports the very thesis you
were attempting to refute: that the universe has no meaning.

Longer awkward pause. Cuts to

53
 END OF MOVING WALKWAY

Part Four

James (actor who played James in Q&A) and Keith (actor who
played Keith) are outside the theatre in which the play has been
performed. James is smoking. It is playful and laid back. We
enter mid-scene like before.

Keith One on the aisle in front of the desk. Second from the
front stage right. And the big bloke in the middle in the
checked shirt. It could well be contagious.

James I dont know how you spot them.

Keith Well, the snoring is a bit of a tell.

Pause.

James They werent actually snoring?!

Keith Checked shirt - dead to the world.

James World, world, world, world, world.

They laugh. Pause.

We totally lost them with the variations again.

Keith I wouldnt be so / sure.

James To be fair I still dont know what Im saying half the time.

Keith There is that. Of course there does come a point on a

piece like this where you just have to um learn the lines and
say them, so to speak.

Pause.

James Oh my god and I only just held it together for Sebastian.

Bad German accent:

Keith from Schabuhne Theatre Berlin.

54
 LAUGHING MATTER

James Dont start with the accent.

Pause.

And its playing twice now / as well.

Keith You do wonder if its a bit too clever for / its

James All this meta-theatrical self-referentiality. What does

that even mean? It just seems like such an absurd way to finish.

Slowly out to audience.

Theres so much left unanswered. All this noise and anger. Then
just like thatit ends.

Beat. Blackout.

End.

55
 When you died everything was
thrown into sharp focus, because it
doesnt matter. It really doesnt matter
that you died. But its still so shit.

James is a theatre maker. He was

developing a verbatim piece about
family, using secret recordings of
mundane conversations with his own
family as stimulus, when quite
unexpectedly his dad died.

Free will is an illusion and the universe

is massive. Everything is an accident and
everything is a story. All the worlds
a stage. That chair is a gravestone.
So how can anything matter?

Laughing Matter is the first original

play from End of Moving Walkway. It
was written by Paul Lichtenstern and
James Thomson, and developed with
the Company. It opened at the Kings
Head Theatre, London, in June 2016.