Four different titles are commonly used for women:
Miss, Mrs., Ms., and ma'am. Using these titles
appropriately is sometimes challenging.
Titles for Women:
Miss / Ms. / ma'am
1. Use Miss with a complete name when you
address a card, letter, etc. to a young girl:
Miss Shannon Sperling
Miss Teresita DeLen
Miss Tammy Kim
2. You can also use Miss with a complete name
when you address a card, letter, etc. to a young unmarried woman:
Miss Nancy Krafcek
Miss Terry O'Sullivan
Miss Lana Silvestri
3. "Young unmarried woman" is, however,
difficult to define exactly--and this is a problem.
If a woman is young, but old enough to be
married, she might not want to call attention to her unmarried status. This is even more true if a woman isn't really young, but is not married.
In this situation, Miss isn't the best choice.
4. Some women say (and correctly) that if Mr.
can be used for both married and unmarried men, there should be a similar title for women. The title that can be used for both unmarried and married women is Ms. Use Ms. ( [ m I z ]) when (a) marital status (single or married) isn't important or (b) when marital status is unknown.
5. Miss is sometimes also used without a name
when speaking to female service workers (servers in restaurants, clerks working at information desks, a salespeople in a store, etc.):
Excuse me, Miss.
Could you help me, Miss?
Thank you, Miss.
If the service worker is your age or younger
than you, Miss is probably acceptable. If the worker is older than you, Miss is probably not acceptable: use ma'am ([ m ae m ]) instead. Use it without a name:
I beg your pardon, ma'am.
Could you help me, ma'am?
I appreciate your help, ma'am.
6. You should also use ma'am when you are
speaking to a woman who is older than you or to a woman who has a position of authority and when you don't know the woman's name or exactly what title to use with her name:
I'm very pleased to meet you, ma'am.
Thank you for agreeing to see me, ma'am.
I have an appointment for 3:00 PM, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am. I understand.
7. Notice that ma'am does not have a capital M,
but both Miss and Ms. do. Titles for Women: Mrs. and Ms.
1. In general, Mrs. is used for married women.
If a man introduces his wife to you, if the
woman is younger than you, and if the man tells you his wife's name, only the name is usually acceptable:
A: This is my wife, Lucy.
B: It's a pleasure to meet you, Lucy.
2. If a man introduces his wife to you and if the
woman is older than you, use Mrs. and the husband's surname (family name): Mr. Kim: This is my wife, Lucy. you: It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Kim.
3. If you are speaking to or referring to
a woman and you know the woman's surname, use Ms. and the surname if (a) the woman has a position of authority, (b) you don't know the woman's marital status, or (c) the woman is your age or older than you:
I have an appointment with Ms. Ikegami.
Ms. Jensen is the District Manager.
I appreciate your help, Ms. Chen.
4. If a woman is divorced, she might continue
to use her ex-husband's name or she might use her unmarried name. If she continues to use her ex-husband's name, Mrs. + that name is possible, but Ms. + that name is probably safer. If she uses her unmarried name, use Ms. + that name: Jill Burton married Phil Thomas. They got a divorce. It's safest to refer to Jill now as Ms. Thomas if she still uses her ex-husband's name, and it's also good to use Ms. if she decides to use the name Burton again.
5. If a woman uses her husband's name and
she's a widow (that is, her husband is dead), thereare several possibilities: 1. Use Mrs. + the woman's given name + the woman's married name:
Mrs. Mary Smith
Mrs. Anna Grber
Mrs. Marguerite DeLorme
2. Use Mrs. + the woman's married
name only:
Mrs. Smith
Mrs. Grber
Mrs. DeLorme
3. Use Mrs. + her husband's given
name + her husband's surname:
Mrs. John Smith
Mrs. Johann Grber
Mrs. Jean-Luc DeLorme
(This is accepted in some dialects,
but not accepted in others.)
4. Use a combination of #1 and #3:
Mrs. Mary Smith (Mrs. John Smith)
Mrs. Anna Grber (Mrs.
Johann Grber)
Mrs. Marguerite DeLorme
(Mrs. Jean-Luc DeLorme) 5. If you aren't sure which form a widow prefers, use #1 or #2.
Special Note:
If a woman has another title (for example, Dr.) use it.