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2 months ago notes (0)

You could be perfect at the art of controlling your emotionswell nearly perfect. You could tell yourself you know what you are
doing. You could tell yourself you dont careor that you can decide how much to. And perhaps you are not even pretending.
Perhaps, over the years, you really have become rather good at drawing the line, compartmentalizing, not really caring too much
about too many things anymore.

And then, while you are busy not caring, you realize you forgot to account for just how much of the not caring is really a part of
you, just how much of indifference can you really be ok with.

You happily traipse along life, wrapped in a secure cocoon of your detachment with people and relationships, actions and
consequences. And then your bubble of smug confidence, of the conviction that nothing can really bother you because you dont
really care - is burst by one small incident, one phrase, one look - that you misread, perhaps.

You might still think you dont care. But the realization that you dont like the fact that the person in front of you might not care
as well - and that it bothers you - puts paid to that self-deception. And the irony, your seeming control over your feelings and
actions is probably what attracts those like-mined people in the first place.

Two detached people should make fantastic partners isnt it? Rather strange then, that detached relationships can sometimes be
the ones that make you doubt yourself the most. That the absence of interest can sometimes stir up the most intense emotions.
That the lack of feelings can lead to the most unexpected desires.

4 months ago notes (0)

"There are no individual statements, there never are. Every statement is the product of a machinic assemblage, in other
words, of collective agents of enunciation (take collective agents to mean not peoples or societies but multiplicities). The
proper name (nom propre) does not designate an individual: it is on the contrary when the individual opens up to the
multiplicities pervading him or her, at the outcome of the most severe operation of depersonalization, that he or she
acquires his or her true proper name. The proper name is the instantaneous apprehension of a multiplicity. The proper
name is the subject of a pure infinitive comprehended as such in a field of intensity."
4 months ago notes (0)

9 months ago notes (0)

Person A: I hate you. Leave me alone.

Person B thinks: Wow, this is someone who is in real pain. Come to me, youre in pain. And I want to fix that.

And thats the destination. When you are able to decode your lovers most wounded, enraged, frightened pronouncement and see
beneath the vicious surface and see some of the vulnerability and the niceness that is still there when its not seeming that way.
11 months ago notes (0)

You found someone who youre attracted to, who theyre attracted to, you both got time, and the basic things are there
and right. That already is an enormous achievement in our modern time. Our society places huge emphasis on pairing up, but
theres no direction of how to really go about it. And its still so rare to be in a position to find someone, even vaguely, you might
end up marrying.
A lot of us romanticize the idea of love. But we forget romantic love is at best 200 years old of its origin. It was a
function of love of that time period and environment. As it is still a beautiful idea to believe in, its a troublesome ideology that
tells us things like a lover will make you complete, a lover will solve loneliness, a lover will be your best friend and everything to
you. Its still so rare to find someone who is in this position as you are. And with firm realization, its true that love is not just
feelings and enthusiasm. Most of us are taught to yearn for romantic love and that love is different and trumps all. While I want
to say yes, love is not just feelings and enthusiasm. Its a skill. And you painfully learn that love is a skill about understanding
one self, understanding the other person and learning to communicate between the gulf that separates the two.
At the beginning, the thought is, you dont need to understand one self (because you think youre easy to live with for
instance), and that the other person seems easy to live with as well, and you understand each other by intuition often by not
speaking. And by just laying down next to each other, you can sort of feel your way into someone elses soul. But love cannot
work like that. To communicate each others misunderstanding and unfamiliarity is to communicate, and that to us seems
unromantic.
Unromantic. To have to find the words to spell out aspects of one psyche is unromantic. This is why we sulk and why
the sulk has traditionally have an important role in romantic love. What is a sulk? Sulk is fury when the other person doesnt
understand something key about you, mixed with a commitment to not explain what that thing is. So youre left with sort of
blaming them for not understanding you, but refusing to explain because that seems a betrayal of love. You refuse to
communicate whats wrong because you expect the lover to read through you and into your soul, and just know what it is that is
upsetting you. And to just know by knowing you that they should be able to figure it out. But that is a childhood fantasy, in
which the parents just knows whats wrong and knows how to accommodate to those sorrows. Its extremely touching, but also
dangerous.
The truth is that we need to learn to communicate that bridge but also become our own advocates. In many ways,
relationships are about teaching and successfully allowing each other to teach without fury, bitterness, without a sense of being
harmed or humiliated. But that demands such patience and maturity on both parts. And once that is accomplished, its a great gift,
an immense gift of love.

11 months ago notes (0)

1 year ago notes (0)

We could all be gone in any minute. Dont judge so much.

1 year ago notes (0)

In the early years, I thought Republicans were like the father and the Democrats were like the mother. The father espoused
responsibility and fiscal sobriety, saving for a rainy day. The mother, caring, liked to help the less fortunate as she wore her heart
on her sleeve. Today, mother is scared, hiding in the closet and father, who has brain tumor, prone to violence and paranoia, can
no longer communicate with mother. Welcome to suicidal ideations of societal divergence.

1 year ago notes (1)

1 year ago notes (0)

The best relationships are the ones where you exchange quaint smiles and soft eyes, with someone you dont know too well.

Get to know each other just enough to understand the unfinished sentences, the vague references and tangential thoughts. Do not
try to read between the lines. Care for each other just enough to not cause emotional heartaches. Do not run the risk of hurting
yourself. Show each other affection just enough to enjoy the silences between conversations. Beyond that, the silences will
become the conversations. Confide in each other just enough to share your passionate dreams, but not enough to talk about your
scars, your tears, your losses- your vulnerabilities. Enjoy each others company just enough to poke fun at each others silly traits,
but not to the point where that humor will be replaced by the bantering short fuse we call irritation.

The best relationships are the ones that do not have

a name
a structure
an end
The rest are not relationships. They are expectations.

1 year ago notes (0)

Wander delicately, but passionately

Place one foot before your heart
And watch where you step

It could be someones home

Or all that someones known

Do not shatter the corridors, but seek doors

For this place is a temple. Take no torches
But adjust the eyes, for this place is forever thine.

Do no seek echoes in these caverns

For what returns is a different
Kind of darkness

Be thoughtful, but wander passionately.

Step with one foot after the other
And step with soul and go fourth all the same.

1 year ago notes (0)

I feel like you are so used to your features, that you dont even know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
1 year ago notes (0)

Date a girl who doesnt read. Books will certainly not be the only companion she needs on most days. In fact, she will have
plenty of time to pander to the inflated position you give yourself in her life.

She will not read between the lines. Or expect you to. That will save so much of miscommunication - and cut down on random
musings, what-if conversations, unrealistic ideals.She wont get lost between the pages - or travel to other worlds in her mind.

She will not expect you to read between the lines either. She will tell you like it is. So you know exactly what she wants, what
she needs. No more surprises - or the stress of having to keep the mystery of your relationship alive.

She will not demand textbook happy-endings. She will know life for what it is - and quietly accept its ground realities. She will
not romanticize memories or goodbyes. She will not even look back to see if you are looking back. You will be free.

She wont hold physical intimacy up as more than its meant to be. You wont need to look into her eyes and whisper sweet
nothings during sex. She wont sit and sulk if you dont hold her afterwards. Sex will be sex. Nothing more. Perhaps a little less.

Vocabularies will be limited - so you wont need to watch what you say, or how you say it.

You wont need to know who Murakami is. What Richard Bach says about love. What Camus says about life. Which Wodehouse
book is her favorite. Or which Ayn Rand character fills her with awe.

You wont need to console her when her favorite character dies. Or put up with her restlessness as she waits for the next book in
the series she is currently immersed in.

She will not believe in magic. In impossible dreams coming true. She will be comfortable within the limits life sets for her. She
wont expect you to drop everything and go on a treasure hunt. Even if that hunt starts from your couch with a hot cup of coffee.
She will be content to just change the TV channel.

She will not look for the hero in you. You dont need to measure up. Her expectations are limited to who you are. Not who she
thinks you can be. With her, you wont need to strive to be a better man. You can just be normal, everyday, ordinary, average.

Dont date a girl who reads.

She will demand passion. She will expect euphoria.

She will make you restless. She will make you illogical.

She will make you want more. Always. And that might make you uncomfortable.

1 year ago notes (0)

Ether
Im beginning to prefer silences. I prefer the sound of silence. Increasingly, conversations seem meaningless.

We are always talking. Look around you, there is an endless hum of conversation. But most of the time, no one is listening. Most
of the time, we are only pretending to understand. Or care.

We talk - to fill gaps within moments. Uncomfortable, worried almost, about the silence that fills everything so immediately,
automatically. Like water filtering through sand. Making it to some - heavy, muddy, unwieldy.

You say those gaps are claustrophobic. I say they are like a breath of fresh air. Unpolluted by expectations. If you really let them,
those gaps can set you free.

We talk to each other to avoid being questioned about our thoughts. We argue and fight - about things that will hold no meaning
for us by this time next month. We offer platitudes simply to maintain cordiality. We exchange meaningless banter - so that we
dont need to pay attention to the voices inside our head. The voices that make us uncomfortable with their clarity of thought. Or
the lack of it.

When was the last time you were truly honest with someone. When you told someone close to you exactly what you thought,
what you felt? Can you even remember? If you look back, do you see words filled with stark honesty - or do you see sentences
uttered to preserve peace, to spare the other persons feelings - even if its at the cost of your peace of mind, at the cost of what
you really want.

When was the last time you really, really poured your heart out?

Without fear of being accused of insensitivity

Without fear of ridicule and rejection
Without fear of being misunderstood
 Without fear of the consequences

Without fear of being viewed as too opinionated, melodramatic, belligerent, stubborn, stupid, idealistic, selfishI could go on.

Our tiny bursts of conversation are so easy. And they say so much. And sometimes, our mutual ease with silence says so much
more.

Its within these moments that I can tell my heart to just be. And my head, to shut up.

1 year ago notes (1)

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