EXHIBIT A

Bust of Nefertiti, The Thinker, Lady Justice, The Scream, Mona Lisa -
each work of art has a sign labeling them

Tour group enters stage. Tour guide looks bored, a couple of tourists
take pictures of statues and paintings. Group begins to move
offstage. One tourist runs back onstage with a selfie stick and takes
one with a statue and promptly leaves. One tourist must leave a cell
phone behind somewhere on stage. After a couple of seconds, the
states and paintings start to move/stretch.

MONA LISA
Another boring day at the exhibit.

LADY JUSTICE
Are Are they gone?

MONA LISA
(looks at her) Oh yeah theyre gone. Sorry I forgot you cant (points
to eyes)

LADY JUSTICE
Cant what? See?

MONA LISA
Basically. (sighs) I hate this new generation. Always taking pictures
or (quotes with fingers) selfies as they call them. Look! (points
to cell phone) One of them left one behind! So oblivious to the world
around them.

THINKER
What do they believe they will gain from putting their face next to a
block of marble and capturing it on their small rectangles?

MONA LISA
Theyre called phones, Thinker. Weve gone over this.

THINKER
What? When?

MONA LISA
Yesterday. And the day before that. And-
 THINKER
Why are they called phones?

LADY JUSTICE
Oh dont answer him. You know he only answers in questions. It gets
on my nerves (looks around blindly) Wait isnt there someone else
in this exhibit with us-?

SCREAM
(Screams)

LADY JUSTICE
(screams while everyone else laughs) Stop it!

SCREAM
Sorry mlady. Its in the job description.

LADY JUSTICE
I know you cant see my eyes but I guarantee you Im rolling them.

MONA LISA
Come on now. Stop being childish-

Two people enter carrying a box with a statue on top, and everyone in
the room quiets. It is NEFERTITI, with only her head with her eyes
closed sticking out of the box. The people place her on one side of
the stage, maybe adjusting the box to find a perfect place, dusting
her off with a brush. The box has a tag that says NEW EXHIBIT - BUST
OF NEFERTITI. The people leave.

THINKER
Who are you?

LADY JUSTICE
Who is who? I cant see anything remember?

SCREAM
I didnt know a new exhibit was arriving today.

LADY JUSTICE
A new exhibit?
 MONA LISA
(looks at tag) Bust of Nefertiti-

NEFERTITI
(screams loudly, obviously scaring them ALL)

THINKER
Whats wrong?

NEFERTITI
(screaming) I cant feel my legs! (looks down) Wheres the rest of my
body?!

LADY JUSTICE
(screaming) What?! She doesnt have a body?!

SCREAM
Be quiet! Is that what I sound like to you guys? Oh man Im sorry I
should stop.

MONA LISA
Are- are you not just a head?

NEFERTITI
(sarcastic) Well last time I checked I had a body and I wasnt
attached to a box! And what a drab box this is! Where are the
adornments my worshippers gave me?

ALL
(look to each other confused)

NEFERTITI
What?

MONA LISA
Well youre in a museum now. Apparently without your body.

NEFERTITI
A museum? Again? I thought I was finally going to be returned to
Egypt!

LADY JUSTICE
Well. That doesnt seem to be the case.
 NEFERTITI
Who are you people? I want to go home!

SCREAM
Um, well that is (points to LADY JUSTICE) Lady Justice.
And thats the Mona Lisa, and the Thinker, and I am the Scream. And I
assume you are Nefertiti?

NEFERTITI
The royal one and only. Do you guys know the fastest way to Egypt?

SCREAM
Um Not really. Youre kind of stuck here.

NEFERTITI
You cant hold me captive here! I have a kingdom to run!

THINKER
Can we get back to our real dilemma? What are we going to do about
the people with the rectangles?

MONA LISA
Honestly, theres nothing we can do about it.

NEFERTITI
Real dilemma? You mean trying to get me back to my kingdom? And what
rectangles?

LADY JUSTICE
Cell phones. (shows her the phone) All of the humans have them. Weve
just got to stay still while they take their precious pictures and
wait for them to leave.

NEFERTITI
Oh. Cell phones. There were thousands of them back at my old exhibit.
Why do people feel the need to prove that they saw me. Seeing me is
an experience in itself.

MONA LISA
(rolls eyes)

THINKER
 But what if we didnt?

SCREAM
What if we didnt what?

THINKER
What if we didnt stay still?

MONA LISA
That is a terrible idea.

NEFERTITI
There are more important things to worry about - me. And they would
freak out. Its kind of an unspoken rule that statues and paintings
have to stay still. One wrong move and- well I tried to slash my
finger across my throat, but as you can see I cannot.

SCREAM
Well, maybe not like full out dance party moving. Maybe just like
small gestures: like blinking or breathing loudly.

LADY JUSTICE
You already breathe loudly due to your mouth being constantly open. I
may not have eyes but I do have ears in case you had forgotten.

NEFERTITI
I still think this cant end well.

MONA LISA
Why? Are you afraid you could never get away with it?

NEFERTITI
Of course not! How dare you challenge the bravery of a queen.

SCREAM
(interrupts NEFERTITI and MONA LISA) I think we should do it. It
could be a little competition between the five of us.

LADY JUSTICE
A competition?

SCREAM
Sure! Paintings versus statues. See who can get away with moving in
front of people the best.

THINKER
What constitutes getting away with moving?

MONA LISA
Move just enough for someone to notice, but they think theyre crazy
and dont say anything about it.

THINKER
What happens to the loser?

SCREAM
Loser Has to use the phone that was left behind (hold it up) and
take a selfie with it.

NEFERTITI
Im up for it. I have enough faith in my abilities. No one can beat
the great Nefertiti.

LADY JUSTICE
Im in.

SCREAM
Ok. The next tour group should come in soon. Everyone get into their
places.

Tour group enters (can be same one from beginning but wearing
different clothes). Tour guide brings group to each statue/painting
separately.

GUIDE
(to NEFERTITI) This is the famous statue that is brand new to our
exhibit named . It was found by Ludwig Borchardt
in 1912 on an expedition to Egypt.

NEFERTITI
(sniffs loudly)

GUIDE
 (to MONA LISA) This is-- well you know who this is-- the
painted by the genius Leonardo da Vinci between 1503 and 1506 in
Italy. It was a rather unknown painting until it was stolen in 1911.

MONA LISA
(slowly tilts head and quickly blinks)

GUIDE
(to THINKER) This is , a bronze sculpture by Auguste
Rodin. The project started in 1880 and finished in 1904. It was
originally built to be placed for a doorway called .

THINKER
(slowly opens and closes hand)

GUIDE
(to SCREAM) This is another well-known painting- . It was
painted by Edvard Munch in 1893. There are four versions of this
composition- oil, tempera, pastel, and crayon.

SCREAM
(breathes audibly while GUIDE is speaking)

GUIDE
(to LADY JUSTICE) And this is a version of otherwise
known as the Roman goddess of Justice. She is almost always depicted
with a blindfold, a balance, and a sword. She--

LADY JUSTICE
(accidentally coughs)

GROUP
(looks up at her)

TOURIST
Did Did the statue just cough?

GUIDE
Um Well that would be impossible wouldnt it? Must be the vents in
the museum; they act up sometimes. Come, lets get a move on. Theres
lots more to see. (group exits)

PAINTINGS
 (Laugh as statues let out annoyed and angry noises)

NEFERTITI
Really?!

MONA LISA
What was that about having faith in your abilities?

NEFERTITI
This is not my fault! Its hers! She is my downfall!

LADY JUSTICE
You were the one who thought it was a good idea!

NEFERTITI
Everyone did!

SCREAM
Well it looks like now youve got to take a selfie. And fast. Another
tour group will be coming soon.

THINKER
Wholl be taking the selfie?

LADY JUSTICE
Theres no way I can do it.

NEFERTITI
What do you mean? You were the one who got caught.

LADY JUSTICE
Ok then. Tell me how to take a selfie with a phone when one, I dont
even know what a phone looks like and two, I dont know what a selfie
is because I. Cant. See.

MONA LISA
I guess I didnt think of that.

THINKER
Now what?

SCREAM
Well one of you is going to have to take it.
 NEFERTITI
No way I can do it.

THINKER
Why not?

NEFERTITI
Does it look like I could hold a cell phone?

SCREAM
Another tour group is coming any minute! Take the picture while you
can!

NEFERTITI
I. Dont. Have. Arms.

SCREAM
Wait! Lady Justice go get the phone and give it to Lisa!

MONA LISA
What?? What am I going to do?

SCREAM
Youre going to take the picture of Nefertiti. We have to do it now
though.

MONA LISA
What? Me?!

LADY JUSTICE
Ok. Fine. Tell me where the phone is. (walks around blindly as the
SCREAM directs her)

(LADY JUSTICE finally grabs the phones, but not before tripping all
over the place. She gives it to MONA LISA and stumbles back over to
her exhibit. MONA LISA examines the phone until finally directing it
at NEFERTITI. Right before the picture is taken, THINKER sprints next
to NEFERTITI and makes a funny face and then goes back to his
exhibit)

MONA LISA
Ok now what-?
 (TOURIST enters looking around confused. MONA LISA still has the
phone and is very obviously freaking out behind the TOURIST. Each
time he turns around, the artwork behind him starts freaking out.
When his back is to MONA LISA, she drops the phone at the base of her
frame and takes her position)

TOURIST
(turns around) Oh heres my phone. Why is it on? (looks at phone and
up at MONA LISA) Wait what? How did-?

TOUR GUIDE
(enters) Did you find your phone?

TOURIST
(looking at NEFERTITI) Yeah its just that-

TOUR GUIDE
Whats wrong?

TOURIST
Have you ever seen any of these statues move?

GUIDE
(laughs until seeing that the tourist is serious) Are you serious?

TOURIST
Well of course Im serious.

GUIDE
Why are you asking? What happened?

TOURIST
I came in here to get my phone and it was on and opened to the
camera.

GUIDE
So?

TOURIST
(shows him the phone) Look.

GUIDE
 (laughs) Is this a prank?

TOURIST
What? No!

GUIDE
Look. This isnt . Lets go back and join the
group.

(both go offstage, the TOURIST looks back at exhibits one last time
before exiting)

ALL
(laugh)

THINKER
Whats ?

NEFERTITI
Honestly, I dont care. But I did it!!

MONA LISA
Ahem. We did it.

LADY JUSTICE
And thanks for doing it for me.

SCREAM
Hey it was a group effort.

NEFERTITI
Maybe the picture will get to Egypt and my people will know where to
find me.

MONA LISA
Yeah (looks to the other states) Maybe. Lets just never do this
again.

NEFERTITI
Oh, I wouldnt say never.

THINKER
What do you mean?
 SCREAM
The next tour group should arrive momentarily.

THINKER
Round 2?

MONA LISA
Are you kidding me?

LADY LIBERTY
Oh no not again.

NEFERTITI
May the best art win (laughs)

SCREAM
(To Nefertiti) Welcome to the exhibit.

(everyone goes still. Blackout)