Lopez 1

David Lopez

Holly Batty

English 101

30 May 2017

Revision Reflection
Taking into consideration what my professors comments had to say and my essay, I tried

my best to follow her comments and what she wanted me to change step by step. For this essay

the easier content to fix was the header and the way I used the MLA format. The tutor at the

writing center gave me a hand with that part. I went ahead and fixed the works cited page and put

the sources in alphabetical order. My professor also pointed out that my thesis statement needed

work. This was the hardest part of the revision. What I did was copy and paste the last sentence

from the first draft we turned in, and then I erased some sentences to add a new thesis statement

that stresses out the park being for underprivileged kids. I didnt do much trimming of my

paragraphs. Instead the longer paragraphs I chunked into two separate paragraphs. The new

paragraph is where my sources get used in this report