Allan Vann

CEP Reflection Essay

5 June 2017

An Education Beyond the Classroom

Reflecting is a process; it is dynamic, fluid, and ever-changing. It is an

experience that is unique to oneself, but yet, it can be a shared and unifying

experience. There is no linear pattern with reflection. You do not always start at

rock bottom and end elated or vice-versa. There are waves of ups and downs, with

frequencies and amplitudes that no stereo can render.

Throughout life, you face many contemplative times that often result from

the end of an old era or the beginning of a new. But right now, I find myself in

somewhat of a purgatory state. Where am I? Where have I been? Where will I go?

My undergraduate career is coming to an end. Four years. Over a quarter of my life.

Thirteen academic quarters. It took 1349 days from my first class at the University

of Washington to my last day as a Husky. Through this time, an immeasurable

amount of growth has occurred. But what does this all mean? Where do I even

start?

This reflection will not start with a family history dating back seven

generations. It will also not start with my first day in kindergarten. Knowing where

to even start reflecting has been a sort of reflection in itself. Telling the story of the
last four years of my life cannot be encompassed in an academic vacuum; so many

factors have contributed to where I am today. Butwhere is that, exactly?

I will start by discussing the reasons why and how I even found myself in this

position. All throughout my life, my parents have engrained the value of a good

education in my mind. This is not an atypical or unique experience by any means,

but I know that I am privileged to be where I am. My parents and relatives have

escaped war and famine to create better lives for their children and their parents.

They had uprooted their entire lives whatever small amount they had back in the

Thai refugee camps to seek refuge in the United States. Understanding the value

of sacrifice and resiliency my parents have experienced has helped shaped me to

be who I am today. I value my education and want to do anything I can to repay

them for the privileges they have given me.

College was never an option for mebut not in the way you might expect. I

come from a low-income background. Neither of my parents have an education

beyond middle school. But, for as long as I can remember, college was never an

option in the sense that I always had to go regardless. My parents worked hard to

establish their lives here in the Pacific Northwest. They have completed jobs in the

service industry and in the manual labor industry in agriculture and forestry. They

have worked hard, both physically and mentally, to provide an opportunity for their
children to have better lives than they did. These experiences have allowed me to

try to appreciate the educational experiences Ive had to the fullest extent.

While I realize the importance of my education, what did my education even

consist of? Education is not solely experienced in a lecture hall or a classroom; it is

experienced in life through friendships and hardships. For now, Ill talk about the

former.

My education at the University of Washington has taken many different

paths. In total, I have been in college for six years. My first two years were in

Running Start, a Washington state program that allows high school students to

attend community college to work towards an associate degree while also fulfilling

their high school requirements. These first two years were aimless; I had just

wanted to get enough credits to graduate and get good enough grades to attend

the University of Washington.

Luckily, I found myself wandering UW, with a map on my phone, and a

clueless look on my face in the fall of 2013. I signed up for a Freshman Interest

Group that was titled something along the lines of Social Media Technology. This

was when Facebook was in its peak level of cool; I knew going into the tech field

would mean the potential to make a lot of money in the future. Money = success,

right?
 The road to riches was, like many of the routes that outline the journey of my

life, winding and full of dead ends. My experience in the classes left something to

be desired. The competitive nature of the departments I was exploring created this

environment of exclusivity and pretentiousness that were full of pomp, but lacked

any of the circumstance I was looking for at UW.

This led me to complete an educational u-turn and pursue one of my

passions from high school: health. I began taking more courses that focused on the

social determinants of who we are and why. This holistic social science framework

was stressed in the public/global health courses I had taken. Seattle is a hub for

medicine, health, and biotechnology. I was definitely in the right city to pursue this

field. However, I found myself struggling to connect with not only the natural

sciences, but also, again, with the cohorts and students.

These experiences led me to some very contemplative times. What am I

doing here at UW? Am I wasting my time? What will my parents think? (For a

majority of my college experience, my parents thought I was living out my 9 th grade

dream of becoming an anesthesiologistIll blame that on short phone calls and a

language barrier.) My education was slowly slipping out of my control. I did not

want to stuck pursuing something I was not 100% passionate about.

The only thing I knew for sure was that I found solace in being outside and

taking in what the city had to offer me. For large portions of my week, I would
spend time aimlessly wandering through the various neighborhoods in Seattle. I

would hop on a bus, pick a random number, and get off the bus after that many

stops. I was head over heels for the city and I could feel my mental health

improving. At this point, something in my head had clicked. My love for the city and

my passion for the social aspects of health could be combined in an urban planning

program. I did not know of any program at UW that was like that; I continued to try

to study health with a focus on urban health.

After having this revelation, I had offhandedly mentioned this to a good

friend of mine one time over coffee. She was currently enrolled in CEP 200 for fun

and told me the program was similar to what I was looking for. She was talking

about her Individual Study Plan project that was coming up and it honestly just

blew my mind with how much intentional control CEP gave its students. I applied

that same quarter and was admitted a short time afterward.

The path to CEP was a tough one and it did not get any easier once I was

admitted. However, I found a program that allowed for educational growth that I do

not think can be achieved in other programs. The amount of control I had over my

education was astounding. I consistently found courses that stretched my thinking.

From drawing and design, to neoliberal economic restructuring, to conducting

fieldwork, to reading philosophy, and taking an environmental course that made

me become a vegetarian for a few months, I had gained a massive amount of

knowledge that was truly comprehensive and interdisciplinary, allowing me to have

a holistic educational experience at UW. While I had some doubts about my

education and my path at points throughout CEP, I can confidently look back and

say that I had a great experience being in control of my education.

At times, I found myself struggling with some of the key components of CEP

that were occurring outside of the traditional classroom. As an introvert, I struggled

to form connections with most of my peers. I understood the value and importance

of the network that the cohorts formed, but I found myself to be an outsider in this

respect. That is not to say that this was the intentional work of my peers or it was

something that I found pointless; it was just something that I thought I did not need,

which was difficult to confront as the CEP network was so strong. My support

network was elsewhere, and I was happy to have them separated from my

academics.

These strong networks that I had failed to integrate within had brought me

back to the experiences I had early on in my undergraduate career. At times, the

networks turned into cliques. The cliques became these entities that would

dominate conversations and further isolate people like me. Thankfully, I have had

conversations with a handful of my peers and the professional staff that have

allowed me to come to terms with this scenario and find ways to work around

these issues.
 CEP is truly a collaborative, embodied educational experience. At times, it is

forced through retreat, governance, and committees. One thing that people do not

talk about when being pushed out of your comfort zone is what to do when youre

out; do you just sit there uncomfortably? Through CEP, I have learned how to

overcome being uncomfortable with situations. Each week for two hours, I had to

confront it head-on, and eventually, you ask yourself Why are you even

uncomfortable? What do you have to lose?

I have learned that not everything is going to work out as planned. You might

have to work with somebody with different values or you might have to find ways

to be vocally passionate about an issue. CEP has taught me more than any other

program could have accomplished. I have gained a wide breadth of knowledge in

the classroom, while also learning a lot about myself in the process. While the paths

I have paved myself have led to dead ends, u-turns, roundabouts, and more, I know

that this map is still in the works and I am excited to see where my final destination

will be.