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County honors local family for foster care service | www.chesterfieldobserver.com | C... Page 1 of 2

County honors local family for foster care service |

www.chesterfieldobserver.com | Chesterfield Observer
County honors local family for foster care service
By Laura Peters CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Matt (back row center) and Diana (front row center) Botset with their son, Jonathan, and daughter,
Alyssa (front row), and sons (back row) Cody and Kenny. The Botsets were recognized last week by the board of supervisors for their work
in foster care. Page Dowdy/Chesterfield Observer Just across the train tracks in Chester, there lives a family who has not only opened their
home to others, but their hearts and minds. Matt and Diana Botset have fostered more than 16 children over the past 21 years, adopting
three of their own. The family was recognized by the Chesterfield County Board of Supervisors on May 26 for their hard work as foster
parents.

Working full-time jobs, Diana as a nurse and Matt as a lieutenant for the Chesterfield County Police Department, the Botsets juggle a
family of four, while also fostering other children. They are the parents of Kenny, 20, Cody, 16, and Alyssa, 7, all adopted, and Jonathan,
19, their natural son.

“I think God just had a plan for it all,” Diana says of the reason for fostering.

Matt and Diane were told they couldn’t have children, so they figured fostering was a good way to practice their parenting skills while they
were waiting to adopt children of their own. They found many challenges along the way.

“Patience isn’t always our virtue. It requires a certain level of openness with the variety of backgrounds that theses kids come from,” Matt
says. “They are not, generally speaking, coming from the best of families. There is a lot of neglect and abuse that takes place.”

“They come with their challenges,” Diana says. “Anybody who comes from chaos is definitely an adjustment. They usually respond very
well with a lot of structure.”

Matt and Diana’s three oldest children often help with incoming foster children. Diana says that it’s easier for the incoming foster children
to see that there are kids in the household who know what they are going through and that it is possible to trust adults, be loved and live in a
supportive environment.

“Our kids have learned a great deal,” Diana says. “We’ve had people say, ‘Why do you still do this? Doesn’t it take away from your regular
kids?’ The only thing it takes away from our kids is their ‘I’m the center of the universe attitude; there are no consequences for bad
actions.’ The kids that come are generally much more trustful of other children than they are of adults; a lot of adults have let them down.”

Every child comes with its share of ups and downs. One in particular struck a cord with them.

“We had a child that we didn’t think should go back to the birth family. She was 5-anda half months when she came to us. She had been
pretty severely abused with 14 broken bones,” Matt says. “Ultimately, the baby was placed back in the grandparent’s custody. Of course,
we knew the parents would have some regular contact. That was really hard for us because that was not the best thing to have happened.
But as foster parents, we’re kind of out of the decision-making bubble.”

According to Nancy Hamacher, a family development specialist with Chesterfield- Colonial Heights Social Services, there are around 60
foster families in the department’s service area. The Botsets are the first family in the area to be recognized by the board of supervisors.

The process for becoming a foster parent is rigorous, says Hamacher, and involves background checks, criminal record investigations and
going through each parents’ driving records. The department thoroughly investigates prospective foster parents to make sure they are a fit
for the job and to get an understanding of family dynamics so children are placed properly.

“We know the families, so when a specific child needs a home, then I can see which family is available, but more importantly which family
could best meet the needs of the child,” Hamacher says. “It is not a random selection. It’s what family could best fit the needs of the child.”

As for the Botsets receiving the award, they feel modest about their achievements.

“It’s certainly a great honor, and we feel blessed to be able to be a part of it for as long as we have. But, I just feel like it’s something we
were supposed to do. We certainly aren’t doing it for the recognition,” Matt says. “We thank them for thinking of us. I wish we could get
every foster parent up there and just make it a group award.”

“We don’t want it to be about us; we want it to be about foster care. It’s the hardest job you’ll ever love,” Diana says. “One of our favorite
parts is working with birth families, and I hope and pray that it’s not just the few kids that we’ve touched but others they’ve been in contact
with.”

Want to know more about foster parenting?

Visit www.chesterfield.gov, click on “Government,” “County Departments,” “Social Services” and then “Foster Parent Recruitment” or
call 748-1103.

http://www.printfriendly.com/getpf?url=http%3A//www.chesterfieldobserver.com/news/... 6/2/2010
County honors local family for foster care service | www.chesterfieldobserver.com | C... Page 2 of 2

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