Due to an extra busy schedule the week 4 picks were on bye.

Have no fear though, in week 5 they have

returned and I'm ready to rock! Last week Matty-Y and I tied at 5-2 to keep up the season long two-way
tie at 15-13. Week 5 marks the kick off to bye weeks, and with injuries already piling up across the
league it'll be curious to see who gets matched up against a team truly desperate for starters.

Last week's 'Pickup of the Week' goes to Kyle with his stealth snag of kicker Greg "the leg" Zuerlein, who
dropped the mic with a massive 7 field goals for 33 fantasy points. Last week's 'C'mon Man
Moment' goes to Scott, who left a 36 point Bilal Powell on his bench. Honorary Mentions go to Matt,
who's benching of Watson cost him a win, and Micah, who could have started either one of Kamara or
Clay to nab a win!

I will now also add a new feature to the picks. In a retro throwback to Anchorman and the "Panda
Watch!" we will now have a weekly "Matt Watch!" where we talk about how his week 2 trade of his first
and second round picks for Rolando's third and fourth are playing out. Over the past two weeks, things
had broken pretty much evenly, but this week's edition of "Matt Watch!" doesn't look so great for our
resident rosterbator. Hunt & Rodgers combined for just 36.10 points, while Brady and Bell put up a solid
56.08. Whomp whomp Matty-Y...

Is the nasty bye-week + injury conglomerate coming to get you this week? Is your opponent on death's
doorstep and ripe for domination? Check out this week's 1450+ word 'makeup picks' to thank all you
loyal readers who were left wanting last week!

Fuckin' Chuck Norris vs. Nice & Deep Like:

I feel like Yahoo really needs to do a better job with their trash talk, as both of their references in their
shit-talking of my loss last week have serious "way to soon" issues. Read this to see what I mean:

"Fuckin' Chuck Norris definitely shouldn't plan a trip to Vegas. Their luck couldn't get any worse as they
are on a three-game losing streak. Free fallin' like Tom Petty, Fuckin' Chuck Norris suffered a significant
drop in scoring"

Seriously Yahoo? After the week America has had you hit on Vegas AND Tom Petty?!? I feel like
because CJ and I both have serious bye-week issues and are putting out lineups that make the Cleveland
Browns look like a super bowl contender I don't really need to talk about the matchup. Instead my pick is
based off of the following:

Yahoo if you wanna talk smack on current events before they happen then... Go ahead and make
your jokes,Mr. Jokey...Joke-Maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself
the embarrassment of losing with your loser jokes in internet land, Yahoo!

Fuckin' Chuck Norris with the W!!

OuchtownPopulationU! vs. Dodge Maball:

Two of 'Globo Gym's' heavy hitters face off head to head in this week 5 matchup of the manly. Neither
team is hit particularly hard by the bye, but injuries last week have taken a bit of a toll on these early
season juggernauts. With the loss of Dalvin Cook for the season, Matt's dynamic rookie duo is now a
solo act, and if Prosise can't go this week I'm not sure what shit Matt will have to shovel in off the wire to
round out his roster. On the other side of the aisle, Kyle is short a quarterback and rolling none other
than Blake 'the mistake' Bortles against the vaunted Pittsburgh D at home. That brings me to Week
5's Character Announcement with Matt as none other than Peter LaFleur! Matt and I battle it out in real
life, the fantasy world, and now the Dodgeball world. Look for OuchtownPopulationU! to win this
week...that's right Matty...Cram it up your cramhole...La Fleur!

Remember the 5 D's vs. Skillz That Killz:

This week 5 matchup pits a solid MJ led lineup against 'the evil incarnate' himself in Rolando. That's
right folks, our former Goldmember continues to shit gold, as it seems like whatever crap he claims off the
wire (see Fuller in his first game back) turns into fantasy magic! I'd love to say that this is the week
Rolando will fall off his undefeated perch atop the RvP standings, but with Jones replacing a recently
surging Kirk Cousins with the Patriots 3rd string QB in Jacoby Brissett, I just can't see that
happening. Prepare to be humiliated on cable television MJ...Skillz That Killz with the W!

VonHugen Balls vs. Bold Strategy:

This week the two RvP newcomers for the 2017 season battle it out for the title of top rookie! Bye weeks
are an issue for both teams, but Kevin definitely lacks the depth to be missing 3 starters. Powell started
the season slow with 2 straight losses, but has since bounced back with 2 quality wins. Meanwhile Kevin
has struggled out of the gate, dropping 4 straight and averaging less than 100 points a week. Listen
Kevin, here in the 'Globo Gym' division we understand that things like "bad draft decisions" and "waiver
wire impotence" are genetic disorders, much like baldness and necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you
don't hate yourself enough to do something about it. Until then....VonHugen Balls with the win!

BeaverTranquillizers vs. Team Blitzkrieg:

Just about the time Micah finally got Kyle Rudolph out of his lineup in favor of Charles Clay, the bye
weeks may force him to seriously consider rolling him in a flex spot. On the flip side Ryan will be without
Drew Brees and is forced to use such fantasy super stars as Josh Bellamy and Michael Crabtree sans
Carr. It's been a bit of a bad luck season for Micah, as his opponents have put up their top score of the
season against him in all 4 weeks, leaving him with a 1-3 record coming into this
showdown. Unfortunately, I expect that Team Blitzkrieg's lineup will bring bring shame to their houses
this week as the BeaverTranquillizers come away with the W!

O'Houlihan's Heroes vs. Blood and Semen:

Last week the Chris led Blood and Semen team scratched and clawed its way to a win against the
formerly undefeated Daj Maball team (predicted by yours truly!) to bring it's record to 1-3 despite breaking
the triple digit barrier just once so far this season. Chris faces off with a Scott led team that has only
failed to break 100 once so far this year. When I first glanced at this matchup I thought I would take Scott
hands down based solely on the fact that Chris is RvP's lowest scoring team and his rookie 3rd and 4th
round gambles who looked poised to break out both laid massive eggs last week...then I saw Scott's
team. With CJ Anderson on bye Scott's lineup is riddled with low touch rate & low upside guys like
Kearse, Agholar & Howard and an old washed up Cam Newton. Meanwhile, despite Chris's craptastic
rookie RB duo, he still has monster upside plays like Hill & Evans and may have actually upgraded his
quarterback with the injury to Mariota. Chris was Week 4's Character Announcement, but I wrongly gave
him the title of Dwight when he should truly be none other than STEVE THE PIRATE!! And as well all
know, the dread pirate Steve be in no man's debt. As such he made a barter with me, true as the north
star. In exchange for my kindness he will get his SHIT together and grab another fantasy win this
week....Blood and Semen!!!!

L for LOVE vs. Troop417:

Ah the age old battle of Kenny vs. Jenna. In the history of RvP this may well be the top rivalry across the
board with the hatred between these two fantasy GM's running deep. I could go deep into analysis and
tell you that the reason for my choice is that Jenna pretty much has bad matchups from top to bottom in
her lineup and outside of Cohen & Benjamin Kenny is sitting pretty in that department. But the real truth
here is as follows. Kenny ALWAYS beats Jenna. It's a fact of life, like the sun rising in the east and
setting in the west. So while Kenny is once again taking down Jenna's fantasy team with authority this
weekend, she'll be off the fantasy clock and out socializing at a wedding. Isn't that just convenient for
her..."and the clock". Troop417!!