Welcome back one and all to the 2018 RvP fantasy season!!

I’m Michael Scott, General Manager of

RvP… I Declare Fantasy – Tomorrow! Why tomorrow? Because today is almost over. The 2018 season
is off to a hot start with late trades, Le’veon Bell holdouts, and McKinnon implosions abound littering
the fantasy landscape in the lead up to Thursday’s opener. Want to find out who will start the season
undefeated and who will quickly fall into the ranks of “tied for last”? Read on to find out!

Threat Level Midnight vs. Little Kid Lover:

Micah desperately wants to be my Toby, but alas, the job of my nemesis is to be filled by another.
Instead he has simply hamstrung himself with a fantasy team name that makes him wary of opening RvP
at work, for fear of an investigation! My only hope this week is that Micah forgets his draft strategy of
never drafting a kicker and doesn’t fill the role before the last kicker’s game starts, otherwise I am totally
boned. Expect an Ingramless-Alvin Kamara to run circles around my fantasy squad. Little Kid Lover with
the win…my how that sounds dirty.

(Yes I had to google “little kid lover” to find this…I am now on an FBI watch list)

Kevins Famous Chili vs. The Funky Cat:

I wonder if it’s the fact that I was raised by two teachers, or that my wife is a grammar nazi, but when I
see Kevins Famous Chili I cringe…kind of like Jenna does when she sees this run-on sentence. If Kevin
does not add an apostrophe to that team name by week 3 I may have to disown him from RvP. For the
interim I will settle with picking against him every week. The Funky Cat with the W!

BearsBeetsBattle*G vs. Schrute Farms B&B:

This week we have the battle of teams who managed to fit every character possible into their team
names. Matty-Y is perhaps our most enthusiastic fantasy owner, yet somehow year after year he
manages to either shoot himself, or be shot in the foot….I guess probably both! This year he didn’t
make it into the first week before he took a round to the big toe with Jerick McKinnon going down for
the season while practicing. Am I going to tell Matt what I think of his team now? No I’m not going to
tell him. I don’t see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
Instead I’ll just go with Schrute Farms B&B with the W!
Scrantonicity II vs. Scott’s Tots:

If Matt wins the award for managing to fit the longest team name ever within the character limits, Scott
wins for most brilliant! Scott by far had the most productive fantasy post-draft pre-season success.
Scavenging Alfred Morris within 10 minutes of the news breaking and getting a Donte Moncrief pickup
that I literally dropped 15 minutes before Marquise Lee went down ☹ Unfortunately for him, he’s up
against the Commishes Wife, and that means only one thing when it comes to the picks. Scrantonicity II
with the W!

AthleadorStumpany? vs. BoomRoasted:

This week’s Character Announcement of the Week goes to none other than Kyle as my main man, my
number 2(ish), my Assistant to the Regional Manager, as Dwight K. Schrute!

In the wild, there is no second place. In the wild, second place is, “Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion
eats me. I’m dead.” Well Kyle isn’t dead. In this case Kyle is the lion. Kenny’s dead.
AthleadorStumpany with the W.

(A look of greatness)
Remember the 5 D’s vs. Did I Stutter?
MJ enters the season as one of the two remaining teams who have failed to create an Office-themed
team name. Come on man…even Kenny and Chris have done it and they’d never seen a full episode of
the show until the draft! In week one he faces off with the defending champ, the man who somehow
managed to put together a post-season week that defeated his Todd Gurley led team, which was no
easy task! Once again Rolando has put together an all around brilliant fantasy squad, and I expect no
less than a 1-0 start to the season for resident expert! Did I Stutter? with the W!

Vance Refrigeration vs. VonHugen Balls:

This matchup may be one of the toughest to call because there is just so much uncertainty surrounding
Le’veon Bell. Then again, there could be worse issues, like having Ty Montgomery and Sony Michel as
your starting running backs! I love ya Ryan but until that situation is fixed this is going to be too easy of
a task every week. VonHugen Balls with the W!