A future that I think off, if everything in my life went the way I wanted it to go, i would love to Commented [DJ1]:

]: You need a heading, page

numbers, and a title.
live a long healthy life with my family and friends, always having a logical but positive take on Commented [DJ2]: Always capitalize.

life, getting my dream job and achieving my dreams, and being able to help my community and

help other people to be the best they can be.

My life right now is just stressing and working, always trying to turn in my stuff and coping

with college life, so my outlook on life is pretty bleak, especially with all the bad things

happening in our day and age. Because of this, I been upset most of the time and just having a

hard time focusing on my work, but I want to change that, I want in the future to always be in a

positive attitude when it comes to life. I don't want to have my positivity blind me of the real Commented [DJ3]: Avoid including anything negative.
This is about your future as it would be if everything
turns out as you wish.
world, but I value optimism because it helps me keep on going even when things seem dire and

if I keep that value as part of me for the rest of my time, I would always be with a positive

attitude, able to achieve my goals and also help my friends and family if their down too.

My relationships right now are great, I have loving parents and grandma who will always

worry about me and care for me, two annoying but loving brothers, and great friends who are

still there for me. In this ideal future, I want to keep all my relationships active and healthy,

because I value my friends and family, so I will always be truthful to my family, be by my friend

side when they are going through a tough time, and cherish each moment I have with them till I Commented [DJ4]: Possessive
friends
die, because I rely on them when I am down, and I need help, so I need to pay them back and

keep our relationship secure for the years to come and be there for them.

In this ideal future, I want to engage in my community and help make the place I call home

safe and healthy. I have seen my share of racism, inequality, and danger in Charlotte and

Concord, and I want to help to get rid of it, so anyone can be who they are and not be held back

just because they're different. I hope to achieve this by using my greatest strength, Equality,
Fairness, and Justice. I can use this to find out what is wrong in our community, bring light to it, Commented [DJ5]: no capitalization needed

and help fix that problem like school segregation, lately, there's a lot of segregated schools, and

the mostly colored schools aren't being funded adequately. I can bring light to this by going the

school meeting and bringing it up to the leaders, and I can help get rid of the problem by helping Commented [DJ6]: missing word

get partners to fund schools that need it, or better yet help the city to desegregate schools so

everyone can have equal footing, while being able to experience new people and cultures.

In this ideal future, I want to get my dream job as a video game developer to bring meaning to

my life. Ever since I learned about video games, I was always fascinated by them, the cool

mechanics, how they get to run them, how they can convey great stories with amazing visuals

while allowing you the play out the story. That always brought joy to me whenever I play, and

since I value that joy I get from laying, I want to give it to others, so I want to become a Commented [DJ7]: ?

developer so I can be apart of like-minded individuals who came up with a fantastic game to Commented [DJ8]: a part

bring joy to the masses and make someone day, the pride I will have when I help create a game

where everyone will remember the joy they had when playing it.

In this ideal future, I want to achieve in the gaming industry, since making games give me Commented [DJ9]: subject-verb agreement

meaning in life, achieving in this industry will make me the happiest person in the world. I want

to work for 10 years on 5 or 6 indie games, and 1 or 2 triple-A games so I can meet people in the

industry and get a feel for how it works, then I want to open up my video game development

studio with some close friends in the industry, so I can make games that I have full creative

power over. I can achieve this with my strength of leadership; I can lead my closest friends in the

industry to the ream of opening our studio, I can make all of us achieve this and be proud of all Commented [DJ10]: dream?

the hard work we did to get there.

 With this future I imagine, I hope that it will come true, I know that it won't life is Commented [DJ11]: Comma splice
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/
unpredictable and anything can and will happen, but if I use my strengths, keep my values and Did you really mean to say that you know that it wont
come true?
have a positive outlook on life, I can achieve this future. Commented [DJ12]: Revise this for clarity.

Yarince,

You mention two of your character strengths and three of your values. I am glad you included

these.

What I would like to see you do with this essay is work on organization. You end with your

work, but I think it would work better if it came sooner in the essay, maybe even at the

beginning. Then you can write about your close relationships with family, then friends, and then

the work you want to do in the community. This, to me, seems like it would make the essay flow

better.