The Canterville Ghost

By Oscar Wilde
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Sir Canterville and Mr Otis are in a room standing.

Sir Canterville: I have to warn you, Mr Otis, that buying this castle would be very foolish.
Mr Otis: Why, Sir Canterville?
Sir Canterville: Because its haunted!
Mr Otis: I come from a modern country, where we have everything money can buy. And if
there were such thing as a ghost in Europe, we would have it at home in one of our
museums.
Sir Canterville: Very well, Ill sell you the Canterville Chase.

2
Mrs Umney: Welcome, Otis family. I am Mrs Umney, the housekeeper.
Mr Otis: Hello, Mrs Umney. I am Mr Otis, this is my wife, you can call her Mrs Otis.
Mrs Otis: Nice to meet you. These are my children: Washington, Virginia and the
twins.

Mrs Umney leads them into the library of the castle, everyone sits down. Mrs Otis
begins to look around and sees a stain.

Mrs Otis: I am afraid something has been spilt there.

Mrs Umney: Yes, madam. Blood has been spilt on that spot.
Mrs Otis: How terrible! I dont want any blood-stains in my sitting room. It must be
removed at once.
Mrs Umney: (smiles). It is the blood of Lady Eleanore de Canterville, who was
murdered on that spot by her husband, Sir Simon de Canterville, in 1575. He
disappeared 7 years later. His body has never been found, but his ghost still haunts
the Castle. The blood stain is a tourist attraction and it cannot be removed.
Washington: That is all nonsense. Stain remover will clean it up in no time.

Washington takes a bottle of stain remover out of his pocket and cleans the spot. A
terrible flash of lightning lights up the room and a thunder makes everyone shake.
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The family comes down to have breakfast. They enter the library.

Twin 1: Look, the stain is once again in the floor!

Every time the stain appears again, Virginia looks very sad.

Washington: Dont worry, Ill clean it.

When he finishes, the family leaves scene. The family comes down to have breakfast.

Twin 2: How is this possible? The blood-stain appeared again!

Washington: Well, I dont know but Ill clean it again.
Mr Otis: Tonight I will lock up the library, so no one can get in and paint that stain.

The family leaves scene. The family comes down to have breakfast.

Twin 1 and 2: Father, Washington, the blood stain!

4
Mr Otis is sleeping; he wakes up by a strange noise. He gets up and opens the door.
The ghost stands in the corridor right in front of him.

Mr Otis: My dear Sir, you must oil those chains. Its impossible to sleep with such a
noise going on outside our bedrooms. (He shows the ghost a small bottle) I have
therefore brought you this bottle of lubricator, and I will be happy to supply you with
more. (He lays the bottle down, closes the door and goes back to bed).

The Canterville ghost stands shocked a moment, but then he growls angrily. The
twins appear on the corridor. The ghost doesnt see them.
Twin 1: Theres that ghost! I knew he was real!
Twin 2: Great! Lets play tricks on him!

They leave and come back with pillows; they throw them at the ghost when he is
turning around.

Ghost: (takes a deep breath) No ghost in history had ever been treated in this
manner!

He leaves the stage.

5
Washington and the twins enter the library to remove the stain.

Washington: Im tired of cleaning this blood-stain, it appears again every morning!

Twin 1: And its colour changes from time to time.
Twin 2: Yes, yesterday it was brown, now its green.

6
Theres a huge crash in the hall. The Canterville ghost is sitting on a chair; a suit of
armor has fallen on the floor. The family comes in running.

Mrs Otis: I am afraid you are not well; I therefore have brought you this bottle of
medicine.

The ghost looks at her furiously and he disappears.

7
The ghost is walking through the corridor when he sees a horrible ghost in front of
him. He is terribly frightened and he runs back to his room. He starts to think.
Ghost: I should speak to the other ghost. After all, two ghosts are better than one,
and this new friend might help me frighten the twins!

He comes back and looks at the second ghost closely.

Ghost: This ghost is not real! Its only a white sheet! It must have been a trick from
the twins.

8
Ghost: Washington keeps cleaning the blood-stain! I give up. If they dont want it
they clearly dont deserve it.

The ghost slips with a pool of water. He gets up fast.

Ghost: Thats it. Ill teach the twins a lesson.

He leaves. The twins come in hide behind the closet. He appears on the other side of
the stage.

Twins 1 and 2: Boooooooooooooo!

Ghost: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (runs away)

9
Virginia walks into a room, the Canterville ghost is sitting in a chair. He looks very
sad.

Virginia: I am so sorry for you, but my brothers are going back to Eton tomorrow.
Then, if you behave yourself, no one will annoy you.

Ghost: It is absurd asking me to behave myself. I must rattle my chains, and groan
through keyholes, and walk about at night. It is my only reason for existing.

Virginia: It is not reason at all for existing. Mrs Umney told us that you had killed
your wife.

Ghost: Well, I quite admit it. But my wife was not very nice, you know? And she knew
nothing about about cookery. However, it is all over now, and I dont think it was very
nice of her brothers to starve me to death.

Virginia: Starve you to death? Oh, Mr Ghost, I mean Sir Simon, are you hungry? I
have a sandwich in my case. Would you like it?
Ghost: No, thank you. I never eat anything now but its very kind of you. You are
much nicer than the rest of your rude, dishonest family.

Virginia: (She starts crying) Stop! It is you who are rude, and as for dishonesty, you
stole my paints to renew that ridiculous blood-stain in the library. I had nothing left
but blue and white and I could only do moonlight scenes, which are not easy to paint.

She turns around to leave the room.

Ghost: Please dont go, miss Virginia (the ghost cries). I am so unhappy and I really
dont knoe what to do. I want to go to sleep and I cannot. I have not slept for 3
hundred years, and I am so tired.

Virginia: Poor, por ghost. Have you no place where you can sleep?

Ghost: Well, I know a place where I could sleep. Its the garden of death, the
churchyard. But only if you weep for me and my sins and pray with me for my soul,
the Angel of Death will have mercy on me.

Virginia: I will help you, Sir Simon. I promise.

He takes her hand and kisses it, then she leads her across the room.

10
Mr Otis: Its very late, and no one has seen Virginia. Lets go and look for her.

They look around and then they go. The family comes back.

Mrs Otis: I looked for Virginia all over the house and I didnt find her. Did you?

Mr Otis, Twins and Washington: No.

The clock strucks midnight and Virginia appears with a little box in her hands.
Everybody runs up to her.

Mr Otis: Good heavens! Child, where have you been?

Virginia: Papa, I have been with the ghost. He is dead, and you must come and see
him. He had been very nasty, but he was really sorry for all that he had done and he
gave me this box of beautiful jewels before he died.

The twins look out of the window.

Twin 2: Look! The old almond-tree has blossoms.

Virginia: Then God has forgiven him.

11
Everyone is in the churchyard, at the ghosts funeral.

Mr Otis: Sir Canterville, before the Canterville ghost died he gave my daughter a box
with a beautiful necklace. They have a great value.

Sir Canterville: (shakes his head.) Your charming little daughter saved my ancestors
soul. The jewels are hers.

12
Virginia is in the churchyard. She throws roses upon Sir Simons grave. She speaks to
the audience.

Virginia: I wore the jewels when I married the Duke of Chesire two weeks ago. I
cannot tell you what happened when I was locked up with the ghost, so please dont
ask me. But I owe Sir Simon a grat deal. He made me see what life is, and what death
signifies, and why love is stronger than both.

The End