TBRWriting PDF

Writing
Sample
Introduction to
MCAT Essay Composition
Essay Topic Statements
For Writing Practice Essays
Sample Essays
With Commentary
BERKELEY
.L/r-e*v«i»e-w®
Specializing in MCAT Preparation
ERKELEY
E • V i E • W
P.O. Box 40140, Berkeley, California 94704-0140
Phone: (800) 622-8827 • (800) MCAT-TBR
Internet: MCATprep@berkeleyreview.com http://www.berkeleyreview.com
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Writing Sample
Contents
Introduction to MCAT Essay Composition 7
The MCAT Writing Sample 9
How to Use This Manual 9
What You May Not Know about the MCAT Writing Sample 9
Origins 9
What the Writing Sample is Designed to Assess 9
Topics for Writing Sample Essays 10
How the Writing Sample is Structured: A Brief Overview 10
Grading of MCAT Writing Samples 11
Scoring 12
Description of Point Scale 13
What Does All of This Mean? 13
What You Already Know: Essays 14
The Writing Assignment 16
"It is Always Wrong to Lie." 16
Task One: Explain what you think the statement means. 17
Task Two: Describe a specific situation in which it might not be wrong to lie. 19
TaskThree: Discuss what you thinkdetermines whether it is ever wrong to lie. 20
Preparation for the Writing Sample 21
Practice 22
HI
Contents
Essay Topic Statements for Writing Practice Essays 25

Instructions 27
/. "That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number." 29
//. The role of a scientist is to explain the natural world, not to impart values. 33
///. The only argument for capital punishment is that "justice equals revenge." 37
IV. Journalists should always be strictly objective. 41
V. Freedom of expression should be absolute. 45
VI. Limited terms of office would make elected officials more accountable to those 49
who elect them.
VII. Governing with the consent of the governed is more effective than governing 53
by decree.
VIII. Health care is a right, not a privilege. 57
IX. The responsibility of public education is to teach skills, rather than values. 61
X. The mass media have a duty to cover all sides of a news story. 65
XI "A liar should have a good memory." 69
XII. The person who buys pornography harms no one by doing so. 73
XIII. One has an obligation to report the irregular behavior of a coworker to a supervisor. 77
XIV. "Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil." 81
XV. Killing is never justified. 85
XVI. A good citizen votes in every election. 89
XVII. The price of something will not always reflect its value. 93
XVIII. Violence in films is unnecessary for making an artistic statement. 97
XIX. Freedom is the greatest desire of every individual. 101
XX. "The secret to being a bore is to tell everything." 105
IV
Contents
Sample Essays with Commentary 109

Sample Essays \ \[
I. "A good citizen votes in every election." 113
Commentary 114
//. "The only argument for capital punishment is that 'justice equalsrevenge'." 116
Commentary 117
///. "The true test of courage is not to die, but to live." 120
Commentary 121
IV. "The goal of our legal system should be to administer due process under the law, not justice." 122
Commentary 123
V. "Art, like science, is more process than product." 125
Commentary 126
VI. "The price of something will not always reflect its value." 128
Commentary 129
VII. "That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number." 131
Commentary 132
Introduction to
MCAT
Essay Composition
BERKELEY
AJr-e-v-iê-w®
The MCAT Writing Sample
How to use this manual
This manual is designed to focus on the particular requirements of the MCAT

Writing Sample and not on general writing technique. We have designed this
manual with the assumption that your writing ability is already good. If you
feel your writing skills are a problem, we recommend that you take a writing
class or get a textbook to teach yourself, preferably a textbook that is used in
introductory writing courses at the college level. Study that book in conjunction
with this manual. If you feel that your problem lies more in the realm of
building sound, logical arguments, we suggest that you find a rhetoric textbook to
help you develop your skills of argumentation. The best way to choose a
textbook like this is to find out which ones are used by college rhetoric
departments. Whatever books you decide you need in addition to this manual,
they will not replace the information here, which is designed specifically with
the demands of the MCAT Writing Sample in mind.
What you may not know about the MCAT Writing Sample
Origins
The MCAT Writing Sample evolved out of a recommendation in 1973 that a test History of the MCAT
of written communication skills be required for medical school applicants, as i t Writing Sample.
grew increasingly evident to medical school admission committees across the
country that analytical and writing skills were becoming deficient among
students and that committee members should therefore emphasize the
importance of these skills in the competitive admissions process. The Writing
Sample was introduced into the MCAT in 1991 after six years of research and
development. Its purpose was-and still is-to provide admission committees
with evidence of an applicant's thinking and written communication skills under
timed conditions, beyond his or her powers of recognition and recall, which are
adequately tested in the science portions of the Medical College Admission Test
(MCAT). This section of the MCAT thus offers information about an applicant
that other sections of the test cannot offer. Beginning in 2007, the Writing
Sample format was converted from two handwritten essays to two essays typed
on a computer keyboard.
What the Writing Sample is designed to assess
According to the Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC), which

administers the MCAT, the thirty-minute essay compositions of the MCAT are
designed to assess the applicant's abilities to "develop a central thesis,
synthesize concepts and ideas, present ideas cohesively and logically, and write
clearly following accepted practices of grammar, syntax, and punctuation
consistent with timed, first-draft composition."
The central thesis expressed in an essay topic statement (or "prompt")

establishes the main idea to be developed in the three assigned tasks of the
essay. The goal of the MCAT Writing Sample essay is to work toward an
understanding of what the topic statement means, where its limits are, and how
it can be applied to real situations: When should one's freedom of expression be
absolute, and when should it be restrained? To what extent is technology a
benefit or a curse? Is good journalism always strictly objective-and if not, under
what conditions might it be subjective? This is not the same as arguing whether
Copyright © by The Berkeley Review The Berkeley Review

the thesis expressed in the topic statement is true-which is to say, MCAT
Writing Sample essays are not examples of advocacy writing (arguing to support
or challenge a central thesis).
Your ability to synthesize concepts and ideas refers to how well you put
thoughts together, which is a measure of the reasonableness and creativity of
your thinking. Related to this ability to synthesize concepts and ideas is the
ability to present ideas cohesively (meaning that they hold together in a
harmonious way) and logically (meaning that they flow smoothly, without
gaps and in an ordered sequence, leading necessarily to a conclusion that is
consistent with and derived from your original premises).
Finally, the MCAT Writing Sample assesses your ability to write English
clearly. Clarity is the hallmark of all good writing and the bedrock of
unambiguous communication. Clear writing not only exhibits your facility with
language and a personal style; it also helps get your thoughts across effectively.
The rules of good writing-including good grammar and punctuation (and good
spelling, meaning at the minimum no spelling errors that obscure your intended
meaning)-are designed to help the communication process. If you do not use
them properly, your writing becomes difficult for others to understand. For
medical students, those "others" may one day include medical colleagues,
patients, the general public via the mass media, and those who review grant
proposals to fund medical research.
Topics for Writing Sample essays
The AAMC selects Writing Sample topics from a broad range of subjects:
business, politics, history, art, education, and ethics, among many others. Essay
topics do not address the factual content of scienceor anything about the medical
school application process. You will not be asked to give your reasons for wanting
to go to medical school or for becoming a doctor. You will not be asked to write
about subjects that are not generally accessible to the average college student, or
that involve religion or other emotionally charged issues. This does not mean
that you may not talk about religious or emotional issues in your treatment of the
topic, but it is never required. No detailed prior knowledge about a topic is
necessary to complete the Writing Sample, although a breadth of knowledge
and experience about it provides the writer with a greater appreciation for the
subtleties of the topic statement and its applicability to real situations.
Breadth also gives you more to write about in more interesting ways, and more
examples. Therefore, we recommend that you read from a wide variety of sources
and subjects when preparing for the test.
How the Writing Sample is structured: The Three Tasks
MCAT Writing Sample test items consist of topic statements, each of which
express what can be considered as a normative rule: an opinion about an abstract
concept (e.g., art, human rights, justice), a policy (e.g., censorship, capital
punishment), or an institution (e.g., democratic government), or a recommended
way of thinking about people and their behavior (e.g., lying, violent
The three tasks of every revolution). You are asked to satisfy three tasks pertaining to this topic
MCAT Writing Sample statement. Make sure that you read the exact zvording of each task in the
essay. instructions listed after the prompt. Do not assume that you know specifically
what you are being asked to write just because you understand the three tasks in
a general sense.
Copyright © by The Berkeley Review 10 The Berkeley Review

First, you are asked to explain what you think the topic statement means. A
solid approach to Task #1 combines a paraphrase of the statement, a definition
of the key term or phrase you will need to develop the central thesis, and a pro-
example to illustrate how you interpret the prompt. You are not required to do
all of these things, and we strongly discourage you from trying to define every
word in the prompt. Also, you are not required by the instructions to write an
introductory thesis paragraph at the beginning (or a summarizing paragraph a t
the end) of your MCAT Writing Sample essay, though some students choose to do
this as a holdover from the way they were taught to write essays in high-
school writing classes.
Second, you are asked to describe a specific situation in which the topic
statement might not be true (i.e., an exceptional instance or instances in which
the rule that is expressed in universal terms in the prompt might be ignored by
reasonable people). You must describe a specific counter-example-taken from
the pages of history, fictional works, news reports, or personal experience—that
contradicts the rule in the topic statement. In Task #2, you can provide thoughts
that further explore the meaning of the topic statement, especially in terms of
its limitations, and build upon the concepts you started with in Task #1.
Third, you are asked to define the criterion (a guideline or standard of judgment)
that may help establish the conditions under which the rule in the topic
statement applies or does not apply. How can the conflict between the original
statement as you interpreted it in Task #1 and your counter-example in Task #2
be resolved? How can these two viewpoints be reconciled reasonably and
comprehensively, without advocating one at the expense of the other? In Task
#3, the MCAT graders expect you to apply what you have developed in the first
two tasks to a more general conception of the issue presented by the topic
statement. When you have completed this final task, a reader of your essay
should be able to apply the guideline you have derived to any similar
hypothetical situation that he or she might imagine about the topic.
Grading of MCAT Writing Samples
The most important thing to know about how the MCAT readers grade the
essays is that the writing is evaluated holistically. Each essay is looked at as a Holistic scoring.
whole, not as an assemblage of pieces. You do not get a standard number of points
for fulfilling each of the three tasks, and then so many more for grammar,
spelling, development, organization, or content. The designers of the Writing
Sample believe that an essay is an entirety that should not be separated into its
constituent parts for the purposes of grading. The assumption underlying this
view is that the different aspects of writing are so interrelated that essays must
be judged on the quality of writing as a whole. What this means for you as a
test-taker is that you should think of the essay as a unit. Make sure that you do
not have any weaknesses that might bring your whole score down. But also know
that your strengths can balance your weaknesses. What ultimately matters is
how clear, logical, and reasonable your argument is. You can evaluate your own
writing by judging how effective it is in those three dimensions and whether you
answered all three tasks. If your essay is effective and compelling, then it is
going to get a good score, because all of the aspects of good writing are present.
Historically, Writing Sample essays have been graded by a group of trained

readers who may be experienced writers, editors, or writing teachers. This
method of grading may change under the new computer-based testing format; but
Copyright © by The Berkeley Review II The Berkeley Review

AAMC has not yet (2007) signaled its intention of altering the number of essays
in the MCAT Writing Sample or the number of readers who will grade it.
Two readers evaluate each essay. And since the Writing Sample consists of two
essays, a total of four readers is involved. Each pair of readers is responsible for
grading the essay written about only one topic. The readers are instructed to
score each essay on the basis of the writing skills displayed and not to judge the
writer's personality, attitudes, or beliefs. This means that you may express any
Expressing personal personal opinions or thoughts that you would like, and as long as you support
opinions in your those opinions with strong, valid written arguments, you will be scored on the
essays. strength of your writing and not on the slant of your ideas. We recommend,
however, that you be selective about what you write in your essay. The MCAT is
no place to take unnecessary chances, and you don't want to alienate anybody.
Besides, if you receive no credit for sharing your opinions, why use up valuable
time to write them out? On the other hand, if you feel strongly about an issue,
you often have more interesting thoughts about it and can express them more
powerfully. Writing in the first person and using personal experiences as
examples are both permitted in Writing Sample essays.
Remember that the three tasks that you are graded on ask you to explain a point
of view and then to compare it impartially with the opposing point of view,
without advocating either one. Thus, spending a lot of time to defend one side or
the other, justbecause it coincides with your opinions about the matter, is using
time in a way that could lower your score.
Since the essay is a timed exercise, it is assumed that you will make some minor
mistakes. The readers are instructed to be lenient with errors that they judge
have been made because of time constraints. This does not mean that they will
ignore mistakes, especially if you consistently make the same ones. It means only
that in a timed exercise, a few mistakes are unavoidable and therefore should
not have a major impacton your grade. Readers do not score on any kind of curve
or use a standard distribution. Each essay is graded on its own merits.
Scoring
Essays are graded in terms of their overall effectiveness. Scores are determined
by the complexity of thought exhibited in your writing, how well your argument
holds together, the clarity with which your thoughts are expressed, and how
far you develop yourideas. Length is not a primary concern, as long as the ideas
in your essay are effectively developed. Good writers, however, tend to write
more than less skilled writers.
An essay mustbe written in the best typed English you can manage. This is not
the place for dropped letters, noncapitalized proper nouns, and hunt-and-peck
finger workat the keyboard! Also, youressay must be a writtencomposition that
conforms to conventional ideas of a written argument. The MCAT graders will
not accept alternative (non-essay) forms of exposition, such as drawings, poems,
or other bizarre experiments. If any essay you submit is deemed "Not Ratable,"
your letter grade for the Writing Sample will be X. Both essays must be
appropriate for the assignment. Both essays are factored into your grade.
Each reader scoresthe essay using a six-point scale, with 6 as the highest score
and 1 as the lowest. If the two readers for a single essay assign scores that are
more than one point apart (i.e., a 2 and a 4), then the essay is given to a third
reader who determines the final score.

Each Writing Sample is scored by at least four readers. Two score the first essay
and two the second. The scores of all readers are summed and can range from 4 to
24. This numerical score is converted to an alphabetical grade on an 11-letter
scale ranging from a low of J to a high of T. Different combinations of numerical
scores contributed by the readers can produce the same alphabetical grade.
J K M N O R
Below Average Average Above Average
Description of the point scale
6 A six shows clarity, depth, and complexity of thought. The assignment is

treated coherently and major ideas are substantially developed. Language
facility is evident.
5 A five shows clarity of thought with some depth and complexity, but less
than in a six. The assignment is generally coherently treated and focused,
and major ideas are well developed. Strong control of language is apparent.
4 A four shows clarity of thought and may have some depth or complexity.
The treatment of the assignment is coherent, with some focus. Major ideas
are adequately developed, with an adequate control of language.
3 A three may have some problems with clarity, complexity, and depth of
thought. The treatment of the writing assignment could have problems with
integration or coherence and with insufficient development of major ideas.
Errors in mechanics, usage, or sentence structure are evident.
2 A two has the same problems as a three, only worse. Poor focus, little clarity
or complexity, and more errors. Major ideas may receive scant attention.
1 A one indicates by its serious deficiencies in organization and development

of major ideas that the writer probably did not understand the writing
assignment. There may be such excessive numbers of errors in mechanics,
usage, or sentence structure that the writer's ideas are hard to follow.
What does all of this mean?
Each score level on the point scale addresses the same criteria of clarity, depth, Clarity, depth, and
and complexity of thought. Your Writing Sample essay is judged by how well complexity of thought.
you can express good thinking about the essay topic. Depth of analysis,
complexity of ideas, and clarity of expression all add together to constitute
what might be called the cognitive or intellectual aspect of the essay. Clarity is
the most valued attribute in good essay writing style. Clarity refers to clearness
of expression-the ability to choose the right words for the right task. Your
words should reveal the complex structures between ideas, and they should help
to remove ambiguity wherever it clouds a clear understanding of those ideas. 11
is said that the fundamental rule of good manners for a host is to make your
guests feel at ease; the first rule of clearly expressing your ideas as a writer is to
make yourself understood to the reader.
Coherence refers to the way things cohere or stick together like grains of rice; Coherence and focus.
focus refers to the common direction of argumentative intent. Do you stay on the

topic or wander off onto tangents? How well does everything you write relate to
the main point of the argument? Everything you write should add to that
development. Everything you put on the page should serve a purpose; otherwise,
you are only adding confusion and detracting from the clarity of your argument.
Strong development of ideas makes them easier to apply to your argument, thus
strengthening it as a whole. When you make a point, ask yourself if your idea is
somehow deficient. Can it be developed further in some important way? Can a
reader ask himself or herself: "Why is this here? What does it mean? What
about this other aspect?" If so, you have more work to do.
Facility with language is also important. The greater your mastery of the
written idiom, the better you will be at expressing your ideas. Finding the right
word and applying proper rules of grammar, spelling, and punctuation allow you
to be more precise at getting your point across.
What you already know: Essays
Generally, we think of an essay (at least, the kind of essay required of you for
the Writing Sample) as a written argument, a statement of opinion or position
regarding a certain issue. Interestingly, the Latin root of the word "argument" is
arguere, which means "to prove, assert, or make clear." Good argument is the
process of asserting thoughts clearly. You must be able to think clearly-and on
the MCAT you need to be able to do this within a time constraint. You must be
able to communicate that thinking effectively in good written English. If this
sounds intimidating, it shouldn't. All of us, regardless of our education or social
background, already know how to construct sophisticated and convincing
arguments. Some of us just don't realize that we have these skills.
The everyday Hardly a day passes without the need to generate an argument You might be
character of making explaining to a car dealer why he should lower his price, or complaining to your
arguments. parents about how they interfere in your personal life, or convincing your
roommate to watch your TV show instead of his. Explaining, complaining,
convincing-these are all forms used in essays, which depend upon your ability
to think clearly and quickly and to communicate that thinking effectively
through language, logic, and reason. You practice the art of argumentation
everyday, and the better you are at it, the more often you get your own way.
Your ability to get your thoughts across to others determines not only how
successful you are in getting what you want and influencing others, but also
allows you to form social relationships based on mutual understanding and
communication. The style of arguing found in essays is a foundation of human
interaction. It defines an important method we all use to relate to one another.
When we write an essay or make an argument, we are participating in a social
discussion. In argument, there is always an audience or reader. With respect to
the MCAT, you might fear the reader, whom you may imagine to be a
hypercritical, fault-finding sourpuss, waiting to punish you with a big red pen.
Get rid of that image; it can only distract you from doing your best!
Think of your reader as a regular person-a reasonable person like yourself--and

The essay as an think of your essay as you would any presentation of your thoughts. Don't try to
imaginary impress the reader with fancy language. Write in your normal tone of voice, and
conversation that is imagine the reader responding conversationally to your arguments. Try to
written out. anticipate where a reader might have trouble with your arguments. Do you
justify your claims by giving reasons or evidence that support them? Are your

points clear and easy to understand? In practice, you should read your essay out
loud and listen to your writing. This is always a valuable experience. Your ear is Read practice
essays aloud.
often the best writing teacher, because you know what sounds right.
In writing essays, you must be concerned with developing clear thoughts and
presenting them to your reader. To be persuasive, good writing must be both
logical (meaning that it is consistent and progresses by rules toward a necessary
conclusion) and reasonable (meaning that it does not violate common sense,
intuition, or experience). Logic and reasonableness provide structure to thought
as it develops in your mind. Another important source of structure is the standard
three-task format required by the designers of the Writing Sample.
Boiled down to its bare bones, an MCAT Writing Sample essay consists of a topic
statement with a central thesis, your supporting evidence for that thesis and for
a counter-argument to it, and an explanatory resolution. The thesis states the
reason for the essay; it is the subject of the composition, the main point that is to
be argued. Next is the presentation of evidence and arguments in support of the
thesis and against it. This is a critical stage in the construction of an essay,
because the stronger your evidence, the stronger the argument. When choosing
evidence, be sure that it supports your claims for either side and helps to
illustrate your contentions as effectively as possible. The closer your evidence is
to your point, the harder it is for a reader to disagree with you.
Of equal importance is the framework within which the evidence is presented.

You must ensure that the bearing of your evidence on your arguments is apparent.
You must also make sure that the reader understands why you think that the
evidence is so compelling. It is not enough merely to present a bit of evidence and
then leave it up to the reader to decide how it applies to the thesis. You must
explicitly demonstrate to the reader your reasons for using the evidence you
have presented.
Now that you understand the basic parts of an argumentative essay, you can look
at the practicalities of applying what you know to the requirements of the
MCAT. The MCAT provides you with a very specific form to follow in your
writing. It is really quite simple, more like a "fill-in-the-blank" exercise than a
true composition, since all you need to do is satisfy the three tasks that the
MCAT assigns to you. And the MCAT does the work of choosing your thesis for
you. Just apply your mental and writing abilities to the exploration of that
thesis. The only difference between an MCAT essay and something you might
write for a writing class is that your job on the Writing Sample is to create an The MCAT Writing
argument that explores and balances the various implications of the statement Sample as an
rather than to make an argument one way or the other about the statement's exploration of ideas.
validity. Do not argue toward a conclusion that is either completely for or
against the opinion expressed in the topic statement. The MCAT Writing
Sampleis designed so that you are forced to think flexibly and creatively about
a topic, exploring meanings and limitations of that topic and looking at both
sides of the issue. It is not designed to provide you with an opportunity merely to
express your personal opinions about the topic sentence.
Sometimes, students feel that they have done poorly in their execution of a
Writing Sample essay, because the final product seems "too wishy-washy."
Most often, this feeling arises from the way that most of us were taught to argue
through the medium of the essay in high-school and college writing classes--
namely, advocacy-style writing, where "winning the argument" is everything.
It can be difficult to unlearn this habit of thought, but read the instructions on

the essay topic statement page carefully. They do not direct you to defend or
attack the rule expressed in the statement, or to "argue to a conclusion." There
are standardized tests where those are the instructions for writing an essay, but
at the present time (2007), the MCAT is not one of them.
Briefly, the Writing Sample asks you to interpret a topic statement by exploring
your thoughts on what the statement means. After you have performed this
exploration of meaning, you must think of a specific example where the
statement does not necessarily apply. In this second part you are, in effect,
presenting evidence that refutes the universal validity of the statement and
thereby limits its applicability by defining a case in which the rule in the
statement is not reasonable. You continue to define limits to the statement in
Task #3. However, instead of coming up with more specific examples where the
statement does not apply, you must determine the criterion that defines the
range within which the statement generally can be applied. This guideline can
be stated negatively, as in the second task, but it is a good idea to present
something positive that demonstrates occasions where the statement is
applicable and why this is so. Identify a determining factor that establishes
when the topic sentence applies as a general rule in understanding situations of a
certain kind, and when it does not apply to other, exceptional situations. The
essay thus takes the original topic statement and then challenges and redefines
it in such a way that the reader knows more precisely what the topic statement
means. Along the way, the reader has also learned about the qualities of your
analytical thought process as a writer.
The important thing to learn from what we have been discussing is that the
MCAT is doing some of your work for you by dictating the structure of your
composition. As you practice writing MCAT essays, you will familiarize
yourself with their three-part structure, so the style will become second nature.
The Writing Assignment
Let's look now to the MCAT Writing Sample itself. Though they deal with
many different topics, MCAT essay items take the following general form:
It is always wrong to lie.
Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you
think the statement means. Describe a specific situation in which it might not be
wrong to lie. Discuss what you think determineswhether it is ever wrong to lie.
The simplest approach The first thing to notice about this assignment is that it asks us for a unified
to structuring the MCAT essay. You are not just writing answers to three separate questions here, but
essay for beginners. creating a composition that manages to address the three tasks in a cohesive
way. Each task that you address is structurally and logically linked to the
other two tasks. No part of your essay stands alone. Your argument develops and
evolves as you movefromone task to the next, gaining depth and complexity as
it develops. Butjust as you don't want to write three mini-essays, you also don't
want to write one huge paragraph with no obvious separations between the
three tasks. The simplest approach we can recommend is to write an essay that
consists of three paragraphs. Each paragraph addresses one task, in order, and
is connected through transitional phrases and themes to the other parts of the
essay. Thus, your first paragraph addresses the task of exploring what you
think the statement means. The second describes specific situations when the
statement might not be true. And the third paragraph discusses what

determines the conditions under which the rule in the essay topic statement
applies. This structure of three paragraphs is not a hard-and-fast rule. In fact,
essays by the most experienced, creative, and ambitious writers usually do
exceed three paragraphs in the Writing Sample. You can write as many
paragraphs as you like, and you are not limited to executing the assigned
writing tasks in 1-2-3 order. But your job is greatly simplified if you do follow
this pattern.
Task One: Explain what you think the statement means.
The first task can be somewhat disconcerting. Faced with a thirty-minute time
limit and the other pressures of the MCAT, many test-takers suffer from "brain-
freeze." This is not the same phenomenon that occurs when you eat too much ice
cream! Rather, it is more psychological than physiological and results in a
temporary loss of all thinking and analytical ability. Time seems to fly by at an
accelerated rate, pulses skyrocket, underarms become damp, and an unpleasant
chemical reaction seems to occur in the general vicinity of the lunch you just
finished eating. It is a thoroughly disagreeable experience. Fortunately, there
are ways to prepare for Task #1 that will provide you with strategies to avoid
the dreaded brain-freeze.
Generally, brain-freeze is brought on when the test-taker is told to explain

what he or she thinks the statement means. "It means what it says!...Doesn't
it?" Well, yes and no. The example: "It is always wrong to lie" contains some
ambiguous words, words that have many possible interpretations. Looking at
the topic statement, you could ask yourself what is meant by the word "lie."
How you define this word will have a major effect on the direction your essay
takes. Generally speaking, then, you might start an essay by defining the key Defining key terms.
word or words of the statement. You might talk about certain meanings of the
words and why you think they should be understood that way.
One way of looking at this first task is to apply it to a real-life situation. For
instance, suppose you are having coffee with a friend, and that friend tells you
about someone who lied to her. You might respond, "I think that it is always
wrong to lie." Imagine your friend giving you a blank stare and asking, "What do
you mean by that?" You are surprised. Isn't it self-evident what you meant? But
on second thought, maybe it isn't so cut-and-dried. There are many kinds of lies,
and many ways to tell them. Are they all equally wrong? Is it really always
wrong to lie? Now you have to explain what you mean to your friend, just as
with Task #1 you must explain to the reader what you think the statement
means. This is an example of how thinking conversationally can help thoughts
flow and not freeze up.
Another approach to Task #1 is the use of pro-examples. Write about examples Using pro-examples.
where the statement applies. Explain the relationship of the example to the
topic statement and justify your use of the example for this case. It can be a very
helpful way to create a context for the discussion of meaning and for tying
troublesome words to specific kinds of meaning. Related to this approach is
talking about how your interpretation of the meaning of the topic statement has
been influenced by your personal experiences. This redefines the meaning of the
statement according to a personal context, and it can provide a unique and
interesting avenue into your exploration of the concepts.
Another approach to Task #1 can be to use a paraphrase to reformulate the topic Using a paraphrase.
statement in your own words. A good paraphrase, in conjunction with other

approaches, may put the topic into a form that is more natural for you. At the
same time, it can help remove ambiguity and stimulate the generation of
examples. However, it is critical that the paraphrase is not left to stand on its
own but is presented within a context that explains its derivation and why you
chose to use it.
There are many approaches to this first task. If you find you are still having
difficulty with getting started--or even if you aren't--it can be very helpful to
read some of your classmates' essays. People have different ways of dealing
with the Writing Sample, and you can learn from all of these approaches. In
addition, different topic statements lend themselves to different approaches to
this first task, so the more experience you have with various ways of executing
the task, the more prepared you will be for the MCAT Writing Sample.
In many ways, Task #1 is the most important part of your composition. MCAT
essay-graders reportedly spend an average of ninety seconds reading your essay.
Ninety seconds is not very much time. Thus, it is extremely important that you
give the reader a good first impression. A strong opening paragraph will give
the reader a good opinion of your writing as he or she continues to read, just as a
weak one may set the reader against you.
Even more importantly, Task #1 is where you introduce all of the key ideas that
you will be discussing in the essay. In a sense, it establishes a contract between
you and the reader, where you implicitly state what you will be talking about
and how you will approach it. If you explore your ideas in some depth, and cover
all of the important concepts that you will be talking about (for the statement
above, you would have to talk about both the concept of lying and of why it is
wrong, not just one or the other), then the parts of the essay that follow will be
strongerand morefocused. A strong opening paragraph keeps your essay focused
by preventing you from wandering into digressions, and it makes the second and
third tasks simpler, because no more definitions are needed. The succeeding parts
need only to build upon what has come before.
Preparing an outline ^he êst wav to maê certain that you adequately explore all of the key ideas
before you write. m tne topic statement is to make some notes in outline form before you start
writing. You must determine for yourself how much of the thirty minutes you
want to spend on an outline (usuallyno more than 3-5minutes),but a good one can
both save you writing time and ensure that you stay on the topic. Once you have
read the prompt and the instructions below it, take a few seconds to start
digesting it. Look at it from different angles. Ask yourself some questions about
it: "What does this mean to me? Why? What are the key terms? What are some
good counter-examples? What are somegood supporting pro-examples? Why are
these examples good? What do they tell me about the meaning and
applicability of the statement?" You may not be able to answer all of these
questions in great depth at first, but if you start off by thinking of them, then you
will avoid unpleasant surprises later in the writing process. It is always better
to face your problemsas early as possible, because then you don't have to try to
write your way out of a compositional dead-end later on.
In summary, although Task #1 can be intimidating, it is very important. Write

an outline of your essay. If it remains troublesome, break it down into pieces that
are easier to deal with. Then, reconstitute the parts into a new interpretation of
the whole. Make sure that your exploration and thought in this task is
developed adequately. Don't make statements without explaining why you say
them, or without telling the reader why they are important. This should be a
Copyright © byThe Berkeley Review 18 The Berkeley Review

fairly long paragraph. Don't just restate the topic with new words and then
move on. Read other people's essays to get an idea of how they deal with the
first task. Learn from their strengths and their weaknesses. Also, reread your
own practice essays. How could you have dealt with the first part better? Can
you see how a stronger opening paragraph would have fortified the rest of the
essay? Make outlines of all of the essay topics, even if you don't write the entire
essay for each prompt. This teaches you how to think along the lines that the
designers of the Writing Sample want you to explore.
Task Two: Describe a specific situation in which it might not be

wrong to lie.
The second task asks you to describe a specific situation in which the topic
sentence might not be true. In the example statement above, you would need to
think of an occasion when it would not be wrong to lie. It is generally much easier
to do this as you develop your outline and before you have actually begun
writing the essay, because this gives you greater freedom in selecting your
counter-example. Think of more than one, to avoid the error of stereotyped
thinking (generalizing from a small and/or unrepresentative sample). If you
have defined the key terms too narrowly, you might also have limited your
choices for counter-examples, and this can be a problem. Thinking of counter
examples can even help you address the first task more clearly, because it
provides you with a sense of what the statement means to you.
When presenting your counter-example, you must bespecific! The task explicitly
asks you to describe a specific situation in which the statement might not be
true. For some reason, many test-takers have trouble with this part of the
assignment. They don't seem to understand what the MCAT means by "specific
situation." A specific situation is one where you can specify names, times, places,
and quantities. Compare it to a general situation, which can be described with
less precise language. Let's look at an example of each. First, a general example:
"If a doctor has to perform a dangerous procedure but doesn't want to cause her
patient excessive fear or stress, then it would be acceptable for the doctor to lie
General counter
about the risks of the procedure."
example.
Compare this to a specific situation:
"My grandmother's physician had to perform a risky procedure. Unfortunately, my

grandmother has hypertension, and the doctor knew that if she became anxious
Specific counter
about the procedure, the risk to her health would have been greatly increased. The
example.
doctor talked to us about her dilemma, and we all decided that it would be better if
she lied about the risks of the procedure, in order to protect my grandmother
against her own anxieties. When it was time for the procedure, my grandmother
was relaxed, and the procedure worked without a hitch."
What do you observe about these two statements? First, you might notice that
the specific counter-example is longer than the general one. This is important,
because the more there is to your example, the more you have to talk about. In
this specific case, you can actually discuss the meanings of key words from the
topic statement as they apply to a specific context. This increases the depth of
your exploration into the topic statement and the development of your ideas.

Also, the specific case is more interesting; it reads more like a narrative and less
like a lab report. This serves to hold the reader's attention and keeps them
interested in what you have to say. Perhaps most importantly, you can talk
about the repercussions of the specific example and use that to help reinforce
your point. As you read a general example, it is very easy to come up with
alternative hypothetical situations that contradict it. For instance, one might
question the ethics of a doctor performing a procedure without full disclosure to
the patient. With no specifics, there is less to prevent a reader from coming up
with refutations to your example. It is harder to challenge the decision to lie
made in the specific example above than it is to challenge the general case.
Another helpful quality of specific examples is that they give you more to talk
about and provide you with more ammunition for Task #3's discussion of criteria.
Notice all of the extra information we have in the second example: family
participation, Grandmother's health condition and personality, the doctor's
ability to communicate with the family, and the positive results of the lie.
These can all have a bearing on your arguments about lying and when it is wrong,
but it would be more difficult to talk about them in conjunction with the first,
more general example.
As you can see from the second counter-example, it could be acceptable to choose
examples from your own experience. In fact, for many of the topic statements,
especially those dealing with ethical issues, personal experiences can often
provide the best examples, because they individualize your essay-no one else
has had experiences exactly like yours-and often allow you to express your
thoughts more compellingly. But examples can also come from history, current
events, books (fiction and nonfiction), movies, folktales, biographies, religion, or
whatever else you can think of that applies to your arguments. The important
thing is to be as specific as possible, and to make sure that your example
illustrates your argument as effectively as possible.
A note about logical consistency:
You might notice that in some essay prompts, such as the one we have been
discussing ("It is always wrong to lie"), the qualifiers in the prompt might be
absolute, i.e., "always" or "never." These understandably must be changed in
your interpretation of the topic statement to words like "sometimes" or "ever"
when you get to the secondand third tasks of the essay. Otherwise, those tasks
could not be completed.
Task Three: Discuss what you think determines whether it is

ever wrong to lie.
The third and final task of the MCAT Writing Sample is typically the most
Providing a criterion to demanding one for most essay-writers. It asks you to discuss what you think
guide the reader determines the conditions under which the rule that is expressed or implied in
(criterion, pi. criteria: a
the topic statement is applicable. In other words, you need to discuss the
standard, rule, or
principle by which a criterion that determines when the statement applies and when it doesn't. This
judgement is formed, third task completes the discussion of the meaning of the topic statement and
used to evaluate or test outlines the limitations for its applicability. Task #3 finishes the development
something). of your ideas, yet remains focused on the specifics of the topic at hand. It
explains why the rule in the topic statement applies in some cases and not in
others. Whether you choose to discuss one criterion or several criteria will
depend on the topic and on how the particular essay you are writing has
developed. A single criterion is preferable to a long list of determining factors.

A long list of determining factors is too specific and has not been sufficiently
generalized; at the other end of the spectrum is a criterion so general that i t
could apply to anything: "The thing that determines whether is it ever wrong to
lie is who the individual is and who they are lying to." Or: "It all depends on
your situation." The problem with such generalities is not that they are false,
but that they are not particularly illuminating as they are expressed.
Something more must be added. If your definition of lying in Task #1 involved
the concept of deception, the element of a lie that typically results in a loss of
trust in the liar, and if your counter-examples in Task #2 all involved instances
in which the liar's deception did not produce that result (such as bluffing your
buddies in a poker game, where lying is expected behavior, or throwing a
surprise birthday party for your sister), then your criterion in Task #3 might be:
"The thing that determines whether it is ever wrong to lie is whether the
deception of the lie does or could destroy the trust of one whose trust we value."
A common problem that people have with the third task is that they sometimes
use Task #3 to make an absolute conclusion with regard to the validity of the A common mistake
thesis expressed by the topic statement. For the purposes of the MCAT Writing with the third task:
Sample, you do not want to make any arguments that conclusively support or Concluding that the
attack the validity of the statement. Your job is only to analyze the statement essay topic statement
and construct a well-conceived argument that helps the reader understand the is definitely true or
false.
limitations and applicability of the statement. You do not need to build toward
a conclusion about the statement's validity at all. The structure dictated by the
writing instructions of the MCAT Writing Sample effectively concludes the
essay by itself, if properly applied.
Preparation for the Writing Sample
In many ways, preparation for the Writing Sample is similar to preparation for
the Verbal Reasoning section of the MCAT. This makes sense, since they deal
with complementary verbal skills—writing and reading. Your preparation for
these sections of the test will overlap most when you do outside readings.
Outside readings consist of articles and other texts, which you select from sources
Read essays about
outside of your field of study. You should select your sources from well-respected new and unfamiliar
journals and publications where the writing is of a high quality. You should try subjects:
to read in many different areas of interest, especially areas with which you are
unfamiliar. And you should read these texts slowly and carefully, noticing how
the writers work their craft. Analyze their arguments, the strength of their
evidence, the way ideas flow throughout the essay. Notice which articles are
the most convincing. Ask yourself why they have such an effect on you, and
think about how you might reproduce that effect in your own writings. Also
notice which arguments seem weak. Why do you think they are weak? What
would you do differently that might make the argument stronger?
There are several reasons why it is advisable to do outside reading. First, it

gives you many examples of how arguments can be constructed. You will see how
different topics call for different kinds of reasoning, evidence, and argument. An to appreciate the
essay about history may look very different from one about ethics, and an essay variety of essay
styles.
that asks you to consider the probability of harm resulting from an action could
be unlike the structure of an essay that is all about the definition of some
abstract concept-but each will provide valuable lessons about essay writing.
Second, learning to think about many different subjects will help you when you to gain flexibility and
have to construct an argument of your own about an unfamiliar subject. In other breadth.
words, the outside reading will give you more flexibility in your thinking. It

will also broaden your experience, which can help by giving you material and
specific examples to write about in your essay, as well as giving you something
interesting to talk about in your medical school interviews.
to learn new writing Third, outside reading can give you examples of different writing techniques
techniques. that you might want to use in your own essays. Noticing how a writer introduces
his or her topic can help you introduce the topic of your Writing Sample essay.
Studying how an author makes transitions between different thoughts can teach
you how to tie the three tasks together into a seamless, cohesive unit. And
observing how an author unifies everything at the end of an essay can show you
what you need to do to complete your explorations and close your arguments and
ideas effectively.
Practice
When preparing for the MCAT Writing Sample, it is advisable to figure out
how to write a good essay before you start worrying about time. Therefore, when
you practice your initial essays, you should take as much time as you need to
make sure that you have satisfied all three tasks and developed your ideas as
thoroughly as possible. Go back and rewrite the whole essay, if that would be
helpful. When you do so, notice the changes you have made. Ask yourself how
you might have avoided these changes by getting them right the first time
Training for timed around. Only after you have begun to master the MCAT Writing Sample style
writing. should you start to worry about issues of time. And even then, you must ease into
it. Start by allowing yourself 45 minutes, then gradually, over a period of
several weeks, work your way down to 40, 35, and finally 30 minutes on timed
writing sessions.
Of course, many students run out of things to write about long before their thirty
minutes have expired. One way to learn how to generate ideas is to sit down
with other students and talk about the various practice essay topics. Try to come
Discussing essay up with examples, both pro and con, of the topic in action. Talk about how you
topics in a group. would start the essay. Talk about the factors that determine when the rule in
the topic statement is applicable. By talking with others, you are practicing the
conversational thinking that is so helpful when writing for the MCAT. It will
give you practice in generating many ideas and also will give you more insight
into how other people think about various topics.
When evaluating your own writing, one of the best methods is to read it to
Reading essays out
loud.
yourself out loud! For some reason, students really resist this advice; but when
you read your own work to yourself, you hear things that somehow remain
hidden on silent readings. You will notice grammatical mistakes, because they
will sound funny to your ear. But, more importantly, you will notice areas that
just don't make a lot of sense, areas that are logically flawed or awkwardly
written. If it sounds strange to your ear, then it might strike others as strange
and might bother a grader when he or she is reading your essay. Eventually, you
will learn to write as if you were talking onto the page. This will not only make
your writing sound more natural and flowing, it will help you write faster.
Sharing and comparing Another analytical technique for the Writing Sample is to share your work
written essays with with others. It is especially useful to share it with other people who are also
others. taking the MCAT, because they will be familiar with the demands of the
Writing Sample essay and will be able to point out areas where you are off-
course. Also, sharing your work with others (and having them share theirs with
you) will give you ideas for different ways to express your thoughts. You may be

uncomfortable sharing your work with others at first, but you have to decide
whether it is more important for you to be comfortable or to succeed on the
MCAT. If you are going to grade someone else's paper, don't be too indirect in
yourcriticism. Tell that person where they are weak, where they are strong,
and what you think they should do differently. The point of sharing is to get
valuable feedback that will help develop writing skills, not to create an
illusion of quality that isn't there.

Specializing in NCAT Preparation
Essay Topic Statements
for Writing
Practice Essays
The.
Berkeley
Instructions
For each statement below, write an essay in which you perform the following
tasks:
(1) Explain what you think the statement means.

(2) Describe a specific situation that you think represents a counter
example to what is asserted by the statement.
(3) Discuss what you think determines whether the point of view
expressed in the statement or the one suggested by the counter-example
is more persuasive and under what conditions you find this to be so.
1. "That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the
greatest number."
2. The role of a scientist is to explain the natural world, not to impart

values.
3. The only argument for capital punishment is that "justice equals

revenge."
4. Journalists should always be strictly objective.

5. Freedom of expression should be absolute.
6. Limited terms of office would make elected officials more

accountable to those who elect them.
7. Governing with the consent of the governed is more effective than

governing by decree.
8. Health care is a right, not a privilege.
9. The responsibility of public education is to teach skills, rather than

values.
10. The mass media have a duty to cover all sides of a news story.
11. "A liar should have a good memory."
12. The person who buys pornography harms no one by doing so.
13. One has an obligation to report the irregular behavior of a coworker
to a supervisor.
14. "Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil."

15. Killing is never justified.
16. A good citizen votes in every election.

17. The price of something will not always reflect its value.
18. Violence in films is unnecessary for making an artistic statement.

19. Freedom is the greatest desire of every individual.
20. "The secret to being a bore is to tell everything."
Copyright © by TheBerkeley Review 27 The Berkeley Review

Look carefully at eachstatementbeforeyou begin to write. Make sure that the
choice of alternatives being presented is clear to you. For example, suppose
the statement's recommended course of action is to "limit the terms of office
for elected officials"-that would be alternative A. But what is alternative B?
The implied alternative B is to let the present system continue, permitting
incumbents in the state and federal legislatures to hold their positions for as
long as they wish to stand for re-election. The basic idea of the essay is to
compare two opinions or two ways of looking at the same problem, without
necessarily acting asthe advocate or the champion of one solution over the other.
Make sure that you allot yourself enough time to perform all three tasks that
are requested of you for each statement. Notice that you are not being asked
here to argue to a conclusion strongly in favor of either alternative presented
in the statement. Simply explain what you think the statement means (define
the key terms as you interpret them or as you intend to use them in your
essay, and perhaps say what it would mean to implement the statement's
proposed plan of action or its recommended way of seeing a situation). Then
present some specific situation in which you think alternative B might be
preferable to alternative A, the one favored by the author of the statement.
You may draw this counter-examplefrom the pages of history, from personal
experience, or from your imagination. Finally, set forth the criteria or
guidelines by which you think any reasonable person should be able to
determine whether A or B is the better alternative for a given situation or a set
of circumstances. You will often find that your guidelines have been
determined by how you defined key terms in the statement.
If you find this difficult at first, try writing your initial essay without
imposing any time limitations upon yourself. Just get a feel for identifying the
two alternatives being presented—maybe it will help to write them out in a
standard format for each statement~and then organize the structure of your
essay to conform to the three tasks. When you feel more confident, ask
someone to time you for 30 minutes per essay, the amount of time you will
have on the test. At first you may want to do the writing samples in your own
handwriting. However, if you feel ready, you may practice typing them.

Practice Essays Writing SampIe ,
Consider this statement:
"That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number."
Francis Hutcheson, Inquiry Concerning Moral Good and Evil (1720)
Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the above statement
means. Describe a specific situation in which the best action might not be the one that procures the greatest
happiness for the greatest number. Discuss what you think determines whether the best action is the one that
procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number.

Practice Essays writing sample 1
11111
IF YOU NEED NORE SPACE, PLEASE CONTINUE ON THE NEXT PAGE.
Copyright © by The Berkeley Review i The Berkeley Review

Practice Essays writitig sê ,
11111
IF YOU NEED MORE SPACE, PLEASE CONTINUE ON THE BACK OF THIS PAGE.
Copyright © byThe Berkeley Review ii The Berkeley Review

11111
STOP HERE FOR ESSAY 1.
Copyright ©by The Berkeley Review iii The Berkeley Review

Practice Essays writing Sample 2
The role of a scientist is to explain the natural world, not to impart values.
Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks: Explain what you think the statement means.
Describe a specific situation in which the role of a scientist might be to impart values. Discuss what you think
determines whether the roleof a scientist is to explain the naturalworld or to impart values.

22222
IF YOU NEED MORE SPACE, PLEASE CONTINUE ON THE NEXT PAGE.

22222
Copyright © by The Berkeley Review ii The Berkeley Review

2 2 2 2 2
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The only argument for capital punishment is that "justice equals revenge."
Describe a specific situation in which a person might argue in favor of capital punishment for some reason other
than a desire for revenge. Discuss what you think determines (i.e., how you can tell) whether a person who
argues in favor of capital punishment is really doing so out of a desire for revenge, or for some other reason.

3 3 3 3 3

~~3 3 3 3 3~~

~~3 3 3 3 3
Copyright © by The Berkeley Review iii The Berkeley Review

Journalists should always be strictly objective.
means. Describe a specific situation in which a journalist perhaps should not be strictly objective. Discuss what
you think determines whether a journalist should be strictly objective at all times or not.

4 4 4 4 4

4 4 4 4 4

Practice ESSayS Writing Sample 4
4 4 4 4 4

Freedom of expression should be absolute.
means. Describe a specific situation in which freedom of expression perhaps should not be absolute. Discuss what
you think determines whether freedom of expression should be absolute or not.
Copyright ©by The Berkeley Review 45 The Berkeley Review

5 5 5 5 5

~~5 5 5 5 5~~
Copyright ©by The Berkeley Review ii The Berkeley Review

5 5 5 5 5~~

Limited terms of office would make elected officials more accountable to those who elect them.
means. Describe a specific situation in which limited terms of office might not make elected officials more
accountable to those who elect them. Discuss what you think determines whether limited terms of office would
make elected officials more accountable or not.

Practice Essays writing sample e
~6 6 6 6 6~~

6 6 6 6 6

~~6 6 6 6 6~~
Copyright © by TheBerkeley Review iii The Berkeley Review

Governing with the consent of the governed is more effective than governing by decree.
Describe a specific situation in which governing by decree might be more effective than governing with the
consent of the governed. Discuss what you think determines whether governing with the consent of the governed
or governing by decree is more effective.

7 7 7 7 7

Practice Essays writing sample i
7 7 7 7 7

7 7 7 7 7

Health care is a right not a privilege.
Describe a specific situation in which health care might be thought of as a privilege, rather than a right. Discuss
what you think determines whether health care is a right of a privilege.

Practice Essays writing sample a
8 8 8 8 8
Copyright © byThe Berkeley Review i The Berkeley Review

8 8 8 8 8

Practice Essays writing sample s
8 8 8 8 8

The responsibility of public education is to teach skills, rather than values.
means. Describe a specific situation in which the responsibility of public education might be to teach values,
rather than skills. Discuss what you think determines whether the responsibility of public education is to teach
skills or values.

9 9 9 9 9
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Practice Essays wriung sample 9
9 9 9 9 9
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99999

Themass media havea duty to cover all sides of a news story.
means. Describe a specific situation in which the mass media might not have a duty to cover all sides ofa news
story. Discuss what you think determines whether the mass media have a duty to cover all sides of a news story.

10 10 10 10 10

10 10 10 10 10

10 10 10 10 10

"A liar should have a good memory."

Quintilian, De Institution Oratoria (1st century AD)
means. Describe a specific situation inwhich a liar might not necessarily need a good memory. Discuss what you
think determines whether a liar should have a good memory.
Copyright © byTheBerkeley Review 69 The Berkeley Review

11 11 11 ii ii

11 11 11 ii ii

11 11 11 ii ii

The person who buys pornography harms no one by doing so.
Describe a specific situation in which the person who buys pornography harms someone by doing so. Discuss
what you think determines whether buying pornography harms someone.

12 12 12 12 12

12 12 12 12 12~~
Copyright © by The BerkeleyReview ii The Berkeley Review

12 12 12 12 12~~

One has an obligation to report the irregular behavior of a coworker to a supervisor.
Describe a specific situation in which one might not have an obligation to report a coworker's irregular behavior
to a supervisor. Discuss what you think determines whether one has an obligation to report a coworker's irregular
behavior to a supervisor.

13 13 13 13 13~~

13 13 13 13 13~~

13 13 13 13 13~~

"Government even in its best state, is but a necessary evil."

Thomas Paine, Common Sense (1776)
means. Describe a specific situation in which government might be thought of as something other than a
necessary evil. Discuss what you think determines whether government is or is not a necessary evil.

14 14 14 14 14

14 14 14 14 14~~

14 14 14 14 14

Practice Essays Writing Sample 15
Killing is never justified.
means. Describe a specific situation in which killing might be justified. Discuss what you think determines
whether killing is ever justified.

15 15 15 15 15
Copyright© by The Berkeley Review i The Berkeley Review

15 15 15 15 15

15 15 15 15 15

Practice Essays Writing SampIe 16
A good citizen votes in every election.
means. Describe a specific situation in which a good citizen might not vote in every election. Discuss what you
thinkdetermines whether a good citizen votes in every election.

16 16 16 16 16

16 16 16 16 16

Practice Essays writing sample i6
16 16 16 16 16
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The price of something will not always reflect its value.
means. Describe a specific situation in which the price of a thing actually might reflect its value. Discuss what you
think determines whether the priceof something reflects its valueor not.

17 17 17 17 17

17 17 17 17 17

17 17 17 17 17

Practice Essays Writing Samplc 18
Violence in films is unnecessary for making an artistic statement.
means. Describe a specific situation in which violence in a film might be necessary for making an artistic
statement. Discuss what you think determines whether violence in films is necessary for making an artistic
statement.

Practice Essays writing sample is
18 18 18 18 18
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18 18 18 18 18

18 18 18 18 18

Freedom is the greatest desire of every individual.
Describe a specific situation in which freedom might not be the greatestdesire of some individual. Discuss what
you think determines whether freedom is the greatest desire of an individual.

19 19 19 19 19

19 19 19 19 19~~

19 19 19 19 19~~

"The secret to being a bore is to tell everything."

Voltaire, Septdiscours en verssur I'homme (1738)
means. Describe a specific situation in which the secret to being a bore might not be to tell everything. Discuss
what you think determines whether telling everything is the secret to being a bore.

20 20 20 20 20

20 20 20 20 20

20 20 20 20 20

Sample Essays
with
Commentary
BERKELEY
JUr-e-v-iê-w®
Sample Essays
The following essays show how some students have responded to a few of the
essay topic statements given in this book (as well as to other statements not
contained in this book, but which were found in practice exams). They have been
included at the request of many former participants in The Berkeley Review, who
wanted to have some standard against which to compare their own writing
sample, as well as something to emulate in improving their essay composition
style.
Although they were written by students in The Berkeley Review, these essays
should not be regarded as typical of what most students will produce in a writing
time of only thirty minutes. For one thing, most of the grammatical and spelling
errors in the original essays have been edited out, and they have been neatly
reproduced to fit onto a single page (rather than the original two or three fixed
pages) for easier reading and side-by-side comparison with other essays. Second,
the average length and complexity of these essays are considerably greater than
most ordinary mortals (including the instructors for this part of the course) could
put together in a legible style in thirty minutes or less. The typical Berkeley
Review student in timed writing samples in class produces a first-draft effort of
three to five paragraphs (three being much more often the case than four or five),
with a tally of somewhere between 200 and 400 words. Only one of the essays
included among this sample matches that general description, with a few of them
exceeding 500 or even 600 words. For some appreciation of what must go on in
the mind of a person who is capable of such a prodigious effort, the curious
student might try just copying one of the longer essays by hand within the time
constraint of a half-hour, and then imagine trying to do that motor function and
organizing a first-rate piece of writing in your brain simultaneously. It is a
humbling experience for most of us-again, we include the current faculty for this
course.
Yet it should not be an intimidating or a demoralizing experience. Nor should an

excellent essay be thought of as something beyond the aspiring student's reach,
although writing of this volume and quality requires considerable diligent
practice. The authors of the MCAT Practice Test HI booklet (©1995 by the
Association of American Medical Colleges, page 121), in commenting on an essay
very similar in word count and complexity to those presented here, an essay
which they understandably scored with the highest grade of 6, praise the writer's
clarity, depth of analysis, and superior command of the language-but regarding
the unusual length of this writing sample, they are silent. Maybe they did not
even consider it to be unusually long.
Take comfort in this knowledge as well: Even the very best writers do not do
equally well with every essay prompt handed to them. The Molecular and Cell
Biology major who wrote the essay on whether good citizens vote in every
election wasn't particularly good at writing about art, and the shy young woman
with hopes of becoming a pediatrician who wrote about whether the practice of
capital punishment is rooted in a desire for revenge was stumped about how to
begin that essay—until we suggested she draw upon her writing experience in any
other class, and she remembered details from an article she had written for her
journalism course. Other contributors used things they had learned in classes on
poetry and philosophy, and only one of the authors (whose work appears twice in
this sample) was very good at anything we asked him to write about.
Characteristically for all the students who have ever taken the course and talked
to us during office hours about their writing attempts, he was very critical of his
work and more aware of room for improvement than of his obvious virtues.

In any event, our hope in assembling these minor masterpieces from recent years
of teaching this review course has been to inspire and to instruct, and never to
discourage. Perhaps one day an essay of your own might be included among
them. To take a look at other essays of the same kind, using topic statements and
essay prompts that either have appeared or are similar to those that have
appeared on past versions of the MCAT, check out the materials released by the
AAMC. The essays presented in our collection would probably all receive grades
of either 5 or 6.
The commentary accompanying each essay here is not intended to be a rigorous

analysis of the essay's strengths and defects from an MCAT scorer's point of view.
Instead, it represents one writing instructor's personal reflections on and general
suggestions about an individual writer's style, the approach he or she took or
might have taken, the wording that was used, the important related issues
brought up by a particular essay topic, and so on. Because Task #3 is the most
difficult one for most students, it has been summarized for each essay in italics at
the beginning of the commentary. It would be a mistake for the student to regard
any of these italicized summaries as the only correct solution to its corresponding
essay, since there seems to be no one perfect way to construct an argument-only
better ways and worse ways. In future editions of this book, it is possible that
more than one sample essay per topic statement may be included to give a
broader idea of the variety of excellent techniques students have employed in the
past to write good essays under timed practice conditions at home or in class.

"A good citizen votes in every election."
Let us consider a good citizen to be someone who does more than merely obey all laws and causes no offense
to others, butwho also contributes to the common good of society by organizing civic groups, for example, orby
giving time and money to charities. Voting contributes to the common good. It is participation in the decision
making process that creates our laws and elects our government officials. The passive, law-abiding aspect ofgood
citizenship and the active, social-involvement aspect ofit together reflect an ideal that exceeds the legal definition
of being a natural-born or naturalized citizen. Some people, in fact, might be called "good citizens" even when
they are legally not citizens at all, because their public behavior marks them so obviously as good neighbors and
assets to their community.
Clearly, then, saying "a good citizen votes in every election" does not mean that voting in every election is a
special kind of behavior which by itself automatically confers the label of "good citizen" on any individual who
performs it. That is, it cannot be true that if one votes in every election, then by definition one is a good citizen,
because it is possible to imagine individuals ofa strikingly uncharitable or non-law-abiding character who might
still make it to the polls every election without fail (perhaps because of some compulsive personality trait).
Instead, it seems morereasonable to read thisstatement as saying the reverse: Ifone is a good citizen, then one will
verylikely demonstrate that innategoodness by voting in every election, amongother worthy deeds one mightdo
that contribute to the public welfare.
When mighta good citizen not vote? Many examples suggest themselves: The elderly immigrant who never
became a naturalized citizen, but who raises funds for the local library. The 16-year-old candy-striper hospital
volunteer who is too young to vote (and many candidates win their elections with the help of youthful
campaigners not old enough to cast a ballot for them). The paroled felon who coaches late-nightbasketball games
to keep kids in his old neighborhood off the streets and out of the crack wars that sent him to jail. The individual
who-deprived of even a write-in protest option-expresses disgust with a field of ineffective or corrupt candidates
by refusing to give any of them their voter's seal of approval. What about the citizen who has made every effort to
educate themselves about the candidates and issues in an upcoming election, but who still feels so confused that
they fear they might make the wrong choices in the voting booth, causing more harm than good? Some good
citizens can't read, and some are mentally disabled. Finally, there is the good citizen who usually does vote, but
who suddenly falls ill on election day, too late to file for an absentee ballot.
In each casejust described, some obstacle prevents the individual from voting: A legal limitation arising from
citizenship status, or age, or paroled criminal status; a limitation of conscience or inadequate knowledge; a
physical limitation. To the extent that a good citizen is free from such limitations and able to participate, we find
that generally they do vote in every election, or at least in most of them, because it is in their nature to contribute
willingly and regularly to the common good.

Commentary on the essay"Agood citizen votes in every election."
The thing that determines whether a good citizen votes in every election
is the extent to which they are impeded from voting by any
limitingfactors (such as legal constraints, limitations imposed
by one's conscience or lack of knowledge, or physical
disabilities). "To the extent that a good citizen is freefrom such
limitations and able to participate, wefind that generally they do vote in
every election, or atleast in most ofthem, because it is in their nature to
contribute willingly and regularly to the common good."
This essay is representative of a family of essays, which essentially all ask the
question: "If people know the right thing to do, why don't they do it?" And the
answer to all of them generally boils down to this: "It all depends on the degree to
which they are willing and able to do the right thing." If an individual really does
not know right from wrong, that can be thought of as one kind of limitation or
limiting factor in itself. Not caring enough to do the right thing, on the other
hand, demonstrates a lack of willingness. (The practice essay in this book that
deals with restricting the number of times an elected official can hold office as a
way of making him or her more accountable to their constituents is effectively
handled as another essay of this variety—the proposed remedy will have little
effect on utterly corrupt politicians who are unwilling to carry out their campaign
promises, or on politicians facing, say, a filibuster or a shortage of funds so that
they are unable to carry out their campaign promises).
The writer of this essay has chosen to define a good citizen as a person actively
willing to "contribute to the common good," which he says necessarily includes
voting regularly, because voting represents "participation in the decision-making
process that creates our laws and elects our government officials." If he had been
content with defining a good citizen only as someone who obeys all laws and
offends no one (the "passive" aspect of citizenship), he could not have used the
"willing and able" resolution to this essay that he does employ so well. That is, it
would have been difficult for him to argue that passively good citizens necessarily
vote on a regular basis,, since voting is not required by law in many countries,
including the US. In the initial paragraph, he also explores the notion that "good
citizens" are not necessarily legal citizens—meaning he will be able to use some
individuals of this description as possible counter-examples for Task #2. This
kind of forethought is an indicator of an exceptional degree of mental
organization in a writer. Finally, he implies that the phrase "good citizen" is most
nearly synonymous with "good neighbor" or "asset to [one's] community."
If the organization is good in this essay, the clarity of thought is even more
pronounced, as we see in the second paragraph. There, the writer dispels a
fundamental and almost invisible ambiguity inherent in the topic statement,
which technically can be understood as saying two entirely different-in fact,
opposite-things: "If one votes in every election, then by definition one is a good
citizen," or: "If one is a good citizen, then one will very likely demonstrate that
innate goodness by voting in every election." Which is it? The writer chooses the
second interpretation and provides the reason for his selection: There could be
sinister people roaming about who vote and do other good things for society, but
who could not be regarded in any sense as genuine assets to their community.
One is reminded of John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer who by day enjoyed
donning clown makeup to entertain children, and then returned home every night

to a house filled with the rotting bodies of his victims hidden beneath the
floorboards. (It is reported that he even shook hands with First Lady Rosalyn
Carter on oneoccasion, as a member ofa groupofChicago citizens being honored
publicly for their outstanding contributions to society!) The message here is the
same as what the writer is trying to convey: Doing a few good deeds, in and of
itself, does not automatically make anyone a "good citizen." But it is rare to find
inherently helpful and civic-minded people who lack a record of public service to
demonstrate those character traits.
The third paragraph contains perhaps the most amazing profusion of counter
examples found in any essay in our collection, and it reveals very strongly the
benefit of generating a large, diverse, and representative sample of items in order
to avoid the error of stereotyped or overly generalized thinking. Most writers,
even if they can think of this many specific examples or counter-examples of
anything, have neither the time nor the inclination to put them all on paper. They
wisely elect to write about the best example or two in their mental list-and by
"best," we mean the strongest, most accessible, and least likely to be argued away.
But here, the effect is overwhelming-eight counter-examples in one paragraph!
And the thing they all have in common is the criterion used to conclude Task #3.
This is an outstanding piece of essay writing, combining the best aspects of
deductive and inductive reasoning.

"The only argument for capital punishment is that 'justice equals revenge.1"
On the morning of July 5, 1978 Robert Alton Harris and his brother, Daniel, abducted two teenage boys
leaving a hamburger stand inSan Diego. He drove the boys toa remote area, shot them at close range with a nine-
millimeter Luger, and then satdown next to their corpses while heate their hamburgers. He was arrested after a
failed robbery attempt, in which he used the car originally driven by his victims. Police officer Steven Baker, one
of the first to arrive at the crime scene, was unaware that his own son, Michael, had been slain by Harris. Fourteen
years and two dozen appeals later, Baker stood at the window of the San Quentin gas chamber to witness the
execution ofhis son's murderer. Harriswas strapped in a chair. Twopellets beneath it dropped into a vat of acid,
and deadly clouds ofcyanide gas swirled about the head ofthe condemned man. At thelastminute, Harris gazed
into thegrieving father's eyes, his mouth soundlessly forming thewords: "I'm sorry." Baker turnedaway from the
window. Nothinganyonesaid or did now would bringbackhis son. Tohis mind, this was not justice.
Outside the prison, people who knew Robert Alton Harris only as a name in a celebrated trialhad gathered
for his death watch. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!" shouted one faction of the crowd in a spirit of equal
parts anger and jubilation. "And whatwill thatleave us with," murmured a man in theotherfaction, a candlelight
vigil protesting the execution, "except a world of blind and toothless men?" TV cameras focused on anotherman
in the crowd, who said he didn't understand why some people accused people like himself of seeking revenge.
"It's just simplejustice that we want," he said. "We only want what's right." Like most who had followed the case,
he did not know the families of the dead teenagers, nor had he suffered a personal loss similar to theirs. But the
story obviously had touched something deep within him-feelings of shock, bewilderment, and outrage at the
senselessness of Harris's crimes. "He took a life, and he should pay with a life. Somebody's got to pay for what he
did, right? I only hope he suffers as much as those two kids he killed."
"Funny thing about wanting revenge," said a woman at the prayer vigil. "We're taught to be ashamed of it,
because it comes out of anger, and we're supposed to be able to control anger, or at least rise above it. Especially
'decent, God-fearing Christians' who quote the Old Testament to defend state-approved murder. They know Jesus
said to 'turn the other cheek.' They try to sound like they hold the moral high ground, but in their hearts everyone
who argues for capital punishment just wants revenge. So they say it's God who's angry and needs to be
appeased."
Maybe so. Yet there seems little reason to doubt the sincerity of the Texas family who begged their local
parole board to keep their daughter's killer behind bars for life, fearing he would carry out his promise to kill them
after they testified against him. They had hoped in vain for the death sentence in his case. Anger alone is the
emotion that inspires revenge. It can coexist with other motivating factors (such as fear) without invalidating
them as legitimate personal drives behind seeking capital punishment. But not until all of those other possible
motivating factors have been eliminated-and not unless the advocate for capital punishment expresses only anger
and the desire for retribution in at least the same degree and kind as the offense committed by the criminal-can
we say that the only argument for capital punishment is that "justice equals revenge," because only then can we be
certain that the appeasement of anger uniquely fulfills an individual's conditions of moral satisfaction regarding
punishment for a particular crime.

Commentary on the essay "The only argument for capital punishment is that
'justice equals revenge.'"
The thing that determines whether the only argument for capital
punishment is that "justice equals revenge" is theextentto whichwe
can be certain that the appeasement of anger alone fulfills an
individual's conditions of moral satisfaction regarding
punishmentfor a particular crime. "Anger alone is the emotion that
inspires revenge. It can coexist with other tnotivating factors (such as
fear) without invalidating them as legitimate personal drives behind
seeking capital punishment. Not until all of those other possible
motivatingfactors have been eliminated-and not unless the advocatefor
capital punishment expresses only anger and the desire for retribution
in at least the same degree and kind as the offense committed by the
criminal—can we say that the onlyargument for capital punishment is
that 'justice equals revenge.' "
This is in many ways the most difficult essay in this practice series given to
students to write, and it is rather unlikely to appear on the MCAT as a topic
statement (at least, in this form). At the same time, you have good reason to feel
confident in your reasoning and writing abilities, if you are able to pull it off in
thirty minutes with the elegance demonstrated by this writer. First of all, the
topic calls for a definition of two terms that get at the very heart of human desire
and emotion: "justice" and "revenge". What do they mean, and what does it mean
to equate the two ("justice equals revenge")? Second, all of that has to be fit within
the context of a social debate, a highly emotional argument about the state's
execution of individuals found guilty of committing certain crimes, an execution
done in the name of the citizens of the state. Is the desire for revenge invariably at
the root of this practice, as some have charged? And why is it a charge or an
accusation capable of irritating proponents of capital punishment, to say that all
they want is revenge? If it's true, why are people ashamed to admit it? If it's
false, why do people make this false claim? The writer uses the clever idea of
setting out this debate in the words of real people talking to television reporters.
Then there is the requirement of the essay to come up with a specific counter
example, and here several students show they have not read the assignment for
Task #2 carefully. The task in this case is not to find arguments against capital
punishment, but arguments for capital punishment that have nothing to do with
revenge. Of course, if you have not figured out by this point in your reflections
that you need a definition for "revenge" to do that task, then your powers of
organization and clear thinking are not up to the demands of this topic, even if
your vocabulary is first-rate and your attempts to keep your development
coherent and focused are more than apparent. Last of all, for task #3, the writer
has to take a stab at formulating a test for revenge, based on some distinctive
feature by which it can be recognized as the motivating force behind a person's
argument in favor of capital punishment, even when it is denied. A very tall
order, indeed!
How well did this writer do? The answer is: exceptionallywell. She didn't miss a
single turn on the ski slope, and she crossed the finish line in gold-medal time
(just under the allotted thirty minutes). There is some evidence of time running
out on her there at the end; Tasks #2 and #3 are both collapsed into the
concluding paragraph. But the direction of the argument is so clear and its
structure is so tight and well-organized that she didn't have much to worry about.

Thewriterof this essay might havebeen awarded a 5 or a 6,even if the entirefirst
paragraph had notbeen part of the paper. As it is, however, everyone who reads
that opening paragraph agrees that its abundance of graphic and shocking details
absolutely rivets the reader's imagination (the writer claims to have remembered
them all, and the quotes from the people at the televised death watch for Harris's
execution in April 1992, from an article she wrote for her elective class on
journalism).
The first paragraph deals with the subjective nature of what we call "justice," the
demand of an individual for moral or ethical satisfaction; the criminal's execution,
even his apology at the last minute,could never satisfythe grievingfather. Justice
by its very nature must be subjective (different for each observer or participant),
and not objective (the same for all observers and participants), because otherwise,
everyone could agree that the verdict in any case was either just or unjust. Such,
unfortunately, is not the reality of justice.
In the next paragraph, we hear from a man who wants revenge-a punishment he
thinks of as a payback, in at least the same degree and kind as the original offense,
and motivated by anger-but he denies it. Interestingly enough, he says that all he
wants is "simple justice." If we can be convinced that he really does want
revenge-and the writer's test for revenge at the end of the paper points clearly in
that direction-then here is a person for whom justice equals revenge. Only by
making the murderer suffer "as much as those two kids he killed" will his sense of
moral outrage be satisfied. Only that will hit the spot, as far as his concept of
simple justice is concerned. One gets the feeling that even if he were told that Mr.
Baker, the dead boy's father, wasn't satisfied after witnessing the execution, he
would still want "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." People who feel this
way do not want an eye for a tooth. They have a very clear idea of what will
satisfy their need for retribution to balance the scales of justice.
In the third paragraph, a woman who agrees with the sentiment expressed in the
topic statement explains why she thinks some who thirst for revenge are ashamed
to admit it. And the final paragraph gives a specific instance of a family who
sought the death penalty for their daughter's killer out of fear, not anger. Then in
the same paragraph we are provided with the litmus test that shows us how we
can tell when people are really demanding the death of another human being out
of a desire for revenge, even if they deny it to themselves. It is, of course, a tricky
thing to know what is in the mind of another person. But we might almost
consider that the writer comes as close as possible to a clinically diagnostic
position in this respect-something like saying that the spoken or implied
presence of anger reveals the desire for revenge, just as reliably as hydrogen ion
concentration indicates whether an unknown solution is an acid or a base.
Besides misreading the assignment, the other two most frequent writing problems
with this essay are: (1) pursuing the line of reasoning that holds people want
revenge only to appease a sense of personal loss; and (2) an inability to think of
other reasons for supporting capital punishment (i.e., counter-examples). The
first misunderstanding is dispelled here by the man described in the second
paragraph: "Like most who had followed the case, he did not know the families of
the dead teenagers, nor had he suffered a personal loss similar to theirs. But the
story obviously had touched something deep within him." Likewise, most people
know that anyone directly or indirectly related to a murder victim is always
rooted out by defense lawyers from serving on the jury hearing the accused
killer's case.

The second problem is also easily resolved with a little patient thought
(admittedly a rare commodity during the test). Capital punishment has been
sought to prevent criminals from repeating their offenses, to deter would-be
felons, to save the money spent on "warehousing" murderers, and even for
humanitarian reasons (i.e., giving those facing life imprisonment the option-
which some of them choose-to die instead). You could characterize the emotions
underlying these arguments as fear, caution, greed, and pity, respectively, if you
wanted to. There are even enterprising individuals who have proposed airing
executions for profit, like boxing matches on cable (pay-per-view); and in China,
some criminals are reportedly killed on a schedule set by hospitals for organ
transplantation.
The point is, if any of these other motivating factors are involved, it is difficult to
say that wanting revenge is the only reason people seek the death penalty. But on
the other hand, if someone who says he wants this punishment in order to save
taxpayers money can then be convinced that years of legal appeals cost more than
life imprisonment, yet he still maintains that "someone has to pay for this
outrageous crime-an eye for an eye!", then we have good cause to suspect that all
he really wants is revenge.

"The true test of courage is not to die, but to live."
The intensity ofsituations often draws out latent qualities in human beings. Courage isone of these qualities.
At times, it may seem that the true test ofcourage isnot to face death-the thing that most people instinctively fear
above any other experience-but to go on living through an ordeal of great physical pain or emotional distress.
Circumstances like this come to mind: The victim of an automobile accident who struggles for life, even though he
may be paraplegic ifhe lives; the cancer patient who fights tohold on to every last day ofher life; the prisoner of
war who tries to endure the sordid conditions of captivity in the face of torture and hardship, in order to serve his
country with honor.
In other circumstances, however, the opposite is true. Then the test of courage is to be willing to die. In this
case, courage may require you to put others before yourself, risking personal injury for the sake of others, and
standing up to seemingly insurmountable odds, regardless of any consequences to your personal well-being. At
such times, people sacrifice their lives because of their courage. The lone shadow of a student standing in
Tiananmen Square in the face of oncoming tanks and soldiers exemplifies courage of this kind. Jim Eliot, the
missionary who risked his lifein order to spread the gospel to the Aucua Indians of South America, died by Aucua
spears-but the courage he displayed before and during his death remained with the tribesmen and eventually
caused them to accept Christianity.
Courageous people are not always the ones on the front lines of a war or the ones doing battle in foreign
countries. Courage can also be found in ordinary people living ordinary lives. The true test of courage is facing
whatever it is that you fear, so courage itself entails more than merely choosing to live or to die. It involves setting
aside one's own fears and well-being in order to stand for what is right, for what one believes in-to press on to
defeat the odds, to seek to give all of oneself for the benefit of others.

Commentary on the essay "The true test of courageis not to die, but to live."
The thing that determines whether living or dying is the true test of
courage is which of those things the individual fears the most at
any particular moment in one's life. "The true test ofcourage is
facing whatever it is that you fear, so courage itself entails more than
merely choosing to live or to die...At times, it may seem that the true test
ofcourage is not to face death-the thing that most people instinctively
fear above any other experience-but to go on living through an ordeal of
great physical pain or emotional distress...In other circumstances,
however, the opposite is true."
In almost every way that the death penalty essay topic is dense, complex, and
demanding, this one isshort, sweet, and to the point-as long as you recognize, as
this writer did, that the true test of courage in any situation where it is being
tested is to face whatonefears most. That could be living, or dying, or sometimes
justtelling the truth aboutsomething you have kept hidden. Not too many years
ago, a fireman wasinterviewed by a local television news team. He had gone into
a burning building and saved an unconscious woman. "People are calling you a
hero!" said the interviewer to him in a live shot at the scene of the blaze. "What do
you say to that?"
"I'm no hero," he answered, without the usual display of false modesty one comes
to expect in such situations. "I knew right where she was, I knew I could get us
both out of there, and I've been training to do this for the last four years, so I
wasn't afraid at all."
"But why doesn't that make you a hero?" asked the interviewer, unwilling to let
him step out of the limelight that quickly.
"Because," he said, "a hero is someone who is afraid, but they go ahead and do
what they know they have to do anyway."
The writer of this essay might havesaid more about courage and about the people
who display this trait. For example, do we call an action "brave" or "courageous"
when an individual really had no choice but to do what they did? In what other
ways might one's courage be put to the test? And why does our culture conduct
its never-ending search for those who stand taller than the rest of us, shining as
beacons to guide our own behavior in times of crisis? Are they really in such
short supply?
But realistically, there is no need to make extra work for oneself in writing what is
otherwise a very straightforward essay. The style and length of this essay come
the closest of any of the essays in this sample to what most students (especially
those with very little practice in writing essays) can accomplish in a half-hour.
The command of the language is good, the examplesare vivid, and the conclusion
is unambiguous. The writer exhibits at least an average, if not better-than-
average, degree of clarity and coherence. The tone is consistent throughout, and
the point of all the examples is unmistakable: In evaluating option A (to die)
against option B(to live) as the true test of courage, the problem can be resolved
by understanding that both options are just different versions of the same test:
confronting your greatest fear.

"The goal of our legal system shouldbe to administer due process under the law, not justice."
This statement is a judgment on the need for separation between the "law-making" and "law-applying"
branches ofgovernment. The legislative branch ofgovernment is empowered with the ability to make laws, which
apply to a society. It is then the goal of the judicial branch to interpret these laws in application to specific
circumstances, such as criminal trials. These two branches of government really make up our legal system,
although many people (perhaps including the author ofthis statement) think ofthe legal system as being only the
judicial branch.
The value of this separation is that the legislative branch can make laws which have a universal sense. All
citizens can be informed of these laws and use them to guide their decisions. Through a democratic system,
changes can be made to the laws, which reflect the overall wishes of the people. And most importantly, these
changes will be made, not in application to specific circumstances, but removed from these applications, where
more room is available for debate and reflection. Removed from the emotionality of a particular trial, cooler heads
may prevail.
Due process is usually defined as the use of specific guidelines for such things as admissible evidence, the
right ofa defendant to counsel, fair and speedy trial, etc. These guidelines are setup to protect people from being
unfairly put on trial and convicted by the courts. The implication of this is thatby creating fair laws (through the
legislatures) and application of due process (through the courts), justice will be served fairly and equally to all
people.
But in rebuttal, we must consider the practicalside to this rationale. The court system is invariably clogged
up with lengthy and expensive trials. Worse still, many defendants areable to getaway with their crimes, due to
technicalities, such as improper search warrants.
At times, many peoplewant to do away with such technicalities, which serve only as a means forcriminals to
go free. There is a perceived need to protect the public and stop coddling criminals-after all, if someone has
violated another person's rights (such as through rape or murder), why should their rights be protected? The
temptation is thus very great for courts to overstep their role and to attempt to apply justice directly from the
bench, based more on an intuitive sense of what seems right, rather than due process.
The resolution to this is to go back and work within the system. The goal of our legal system is to preserve
social harmony by providing an impartial, fair, uniform method for redressing grievances. The system was
designed with two branches, one to make just laws, and one to apply them consistently by the rules of due
process. If laws should be changed to loosen thestringencies ofdue process, thisshould be done in the legislative
branch, not in the courts.

Commentary on the essay "Thegoal of our legal system should be to administer
due process under the law, not justice."
The thing that determines whether the goal ofour legal system should be
to administer due process under the law or to administer justice is
which branch of that system you are considering. "The legislative
branch ofgovernment isempowered with the ability to make laws, [and]
the goal ofthe judicial branch [is] to interpret these laws in application
to specific circumstances...These two branches ofgovernment really
make up our legal system...The goal ofour legal system is to preserve
social harmony by providing an impartial, fair, uniform method for
redressing grievances. The system ivas designed with two branches, one
to make just laws, and one to apply them consistently by the rules ofdue
process."
Many students struggle with this topic statement chiefly because they interpret
the words "legal system" to refer only to what goes on in a courtroom; and as soon
as they adopt the cynical position that courtrooms are not in the business of
dispensing justice, the phrase "criminal justice system" rings rather hollow
wherever it appears in their essays. The writer neatly sidesteps that snare at the
outset ofthis well-conceived and beautifully executed essay by saying that "many
people (perhaps including the author of this statement) think of the legal system
as being only the judicial branch" of government. The topic statement thus may
bethe kind ofcomment uttered bysomeone who gets angry when they see judges
overturning laws that it took legislators a long time to hammer out, to make them
as fair and equitable as possible to everyone to whom they might ever apply.
(Never mind the bargaining and compromises that went on behind the scenes!)
Ineffect, from that person's point of view, such judges are usurping the legislative
branch's powers by succumbing to "the [very great] temptation...for courts to
overstep their role and to attempt to apply justice directly from the bench, based
more on an intuitive sense of what seems right, rather than due process."
Following due process is what the speaker of the topicstatementwould see as the
proper function of judges, lawyers, and police officers, and everyone connected
with the criminaljusticesystem being administered in jailsand courtrooms across
the land.
And the temptation for judges to bend the strict rules of due process in many
cases is so very great, because it isevident that their courts are "invariably clogged
up with lengthy and expensive trials. Worse still, many defendants areable to get
away with their crimes, due to technicalities, such as improper search warrants.
At times, many people want to do awaywith such technicalities, which serveonly
as a means for criminals to go free. There is a perceived need [by some judges
and many private citizens] to protect the public and stop coddling criminals..."
All of this development of the main theme shows a familiarity and willingness on
the writer's part to deal with the real-life complexities, as well as the more abstract
conceptual problems, lurking behind the topic statement: theannoyance ofjudges
and police officers-and anyone who ever called in to a talk-radio show-
regarding criminals who seem to have more rights than their victims. This essay
isexceptional for its organization and clarity, and for its treatment in some depth
of an intricate social and legal problem. The writer's neat and sensibleconclusion,
expressed in a clear criterion statement, repeats the formulation of the opening
paragraph.

Political and legal issues, philosophy, and anything dealing with the arts are the
things toward which most pre-med students in our review courses voice an
aversion,both for reading Verbal Reasoning passages and for composing Writing
Sample essays. But this essay could have been written by anyone who had an
eighth-grade civics class on the separation of powers in American government,
plus a little time invested in reading the newspapers to stay abreast of current
issues.

"Art, like science, is more process than product."
Art can be defined as pretty much any form of creative expression-visual, dance, music, poetry, etc. In all
cases, there are no absolutes. Art is a personal process of drawing on one's own human experience and playing
with it. It can be therapeutic, totally entrepreneurial, or anywhere in between. Its point is often not the product,
but the process of creativity.
Science can be viewed in a similar vein. Butwhere art is about totally subjective personal experience, science is
about uncovering the universal truths of our world. It is completely objective, yet it also encompasses the same
concept of process. One can never truly predict the outcome of scientific endeavor, just as one can never predict
the final product of an artistic outpouring. Scientists must always strive to uncover new knowledge, an
experientialquest. So again, science is really a processof discovery.
When either art or science sets its goal to production alone, something is lost from the process. For art, the
process becomes turned into craft and the personality of the artist as creator is lost. Similarly, science becomes
technology, and the scientist is now a technician. For example, in designing a better car engine, one is not really
looking to uncover any universal truths about thermodynamics. The scientist/technician is merely trying to meet
the demands of the car company to find a better engine.
However, we must give time to the rebuttal of this argument, which quite naturally is that without product,
how will the rest of the world ever know about one's creative artistic or scientific endeavors? In the case of the
artist, there is a manifest need to express something within, and the medium of expression is the product. One
may be the world's greatest composer, but without a symphony to show one's talents, the world will never
appreciate this fact. The inspiration for artists is, naturally enough, often the work of other artists, which is to say
their products.
The same applies for science. Discovery for personal satisfaction can be very rewarding, but only by some
tangible product, such as new methods or inventions, can this discovery be conveyed to the rest of the world. For
science, the product can come in the form of papers and similar condensations of the scientist's progress.
In the end, we see that both science and art need both process and product. Process alone leaves the creative
endeavor as a personal experience with no means of transmission to other people. Product without process is not
really art or science, but just craft and technology.

Commentary on the essay "Art, like science, is more process than product."
The thing that determines whether art or science is more process than
product is whether we view either discipline from the perspective
of personal satisfaction or general utility. From the perspective of
personal satisfaction: "Art can be defined as...any form of creative
expression...a personal process of drawing on one's own human
experience and playing with it. It can be therapeutic, totally
entrepreneurial, or anywhere in between. Its point is often not the
product, but the process ofcreativity. Science can be viewed in a similar
vein, [asa personal striving] to uncover newknowledge, an experiential
quest....a process ofdiscovery." From the perspective ofgeneral utility:
"When either art or science sets its goal to production alone, something
is lost from the process. For art, the process becomes turned into craft
and the personality of the artist as creator is lost. Similarly, science
becomes technology, and the scientist is now a technician." Artists need
products toshare their talents and to inspire others, while scientists also
find the products of scientific research useful to give new goods and
inventions to the world.
The criteria used to carry out the third task of this essay are not all found together
in one place (although they are shown that way on this page, above), so one might
fault the writer for a lapse in coherent presentation style. The counter-examples
also could have been more specific; e.g., the third sentence of the fourth
paragraph could have begun: "Beethoven might have been the greatest composer
of his age..." But these criticisms are small, weighed against the much greater
strengths of this essay. They probably would not be enough to deprive the writer
of a score of 6, and he certainly should not be awarded anything below a 5. This
is, after all is said and done, a very fluent treatment of a topic where one can
easily lose their footing.
Many essays ask the student to contrast art and science, rather than to compare
them with each other. The differences in their methods and in their goals offer
only two obvious examples of that contrast. And the writer here does
acknowledge the dissimilarity between the "totally subjective" realm of art (where
"there are no absolutes") and the "completely objective world" of the scientist, in
which one attempts to unveil "the universal truths of our world." But he wisely
emphasizes their similarities more, as the wording of the topic statement indicates
he must do. He talks, for example, about the unpredictability and the personal
nature of a quest in both artistic creativity and scientific research. Throughout the
essay, the same structure is repeated: A point is made about artistic pursuits,
followed by a comparison to science: "Science can be viewed in a similar
vein...Similarly, science becomes technology...The same applies for science," and
soon.
Through skillful use of this recurrent structure and a nimble writing style, the
writer seems to loop effortlessly back and forth, moving from art to science, and
from process to product, without ever falling into a superficial treatment of the
topic. The writer's mental agility is reflected in the paragraph structure as well-
six brief ones, with smooth transitions starting each new idea, rather than the
typical three- or four-paragraph method one comes to expect as the standard in
Writing Sample essays. If we follow the logic offered in the sentences of this
essay, we can gain some clarity about the way we use the terms "art" and "science"

in our own everyday speech. Thus, saying that "Rembrandt was devoted to his
art" means the Dutch painter was devoted to the process of perfecting his painting
style with each new canvas he worked on; but saying "Rembrandt left the world a
magnificent legacy of art" makes a statement about the tangible products he left in
homes, galleries, and museums around the world, still enjoyed by collectors and
studied by novices centuries after his death. The same statements carry a similar
value, if we substitute "Einstein" for "Rembrandt," and the word "science" for "art"
both times.

"The price of something will not always reflect its value."
Saying that the price of something will not always reflect its value means that the cost you pay for a thing is
not necessarily the same as what that thing is worth to you. In fact, certain items with exceedingly high personal
value, like the dried flower pressed in a high-school yearbook, might be absolutely free. When we say something
is "priceless," we don't mean it is "worthless." We mean it is invaluable or possesses a worth too great to be
assigned any price.
On the other hand, you often hear people say: "You get what you pay for." There are good reasons why you
pay more for a Rolls Royce than for a Yugo: the extra material, the better-quality material, more testing and
engineering that went into its creation, and the years of craftsmanship devoted to producing its distinctive design.
And a Rolls Royce has a universal reputation among car fanciers and the general public as one of the finest
automobiles ever made. But it's not the aesthetic value or the prestige you are paying for, exactly, when you buy a
Rolls Royce or any other expensive car, because if it were, then people who know the most about cars and can
most appreciate those kinds of values in them would have to pay more than someone who doesn't. Rather, all
anyone pays for are the many pounds of metal in it, the many hours of effort that it represents-the quantifiable
units that are the basis for assigning an objective value to anything. It's like saying the price of a medical
education is so many dollars, so many years of training and study, so many ATP molecules of energy expended-
those are roughly the same costs paid by any med student. Butwhat that education means to anyone personally,
how much they value it subjectively, only that person can say.
Other clues that you are dealing with the objective, rather than the subjective, value of something: Has the
value been established by market pressures of supply and demand, i.e., scarcity and abundance? Is the item in
question easily replaceable or interchangeable with other items of the same kind, rather than being unique or
irreplaceable? Is it possible to state the value in absolute, rather than only relative, terms? That is, can it be said
that item A is exactly 3.26 times more valuable than item B? If the answers are yes, then it's likely this is the kind
of value that is approximated by a price.
In the end, the thing that determines whether the price of something reflects its value is the kind of value you
are referring to. If you mean the subjective value, then price doesn't reflect it. It can't, because price is essentially
always an objective consideration. But the objective value of things can often be approximated by a price. People
may have subjective reasons for setting a price, but once set, a price is the same for anyone willing to pay it.
Similarly, the objective value of a thing is the same for anyone utilizing it: A gold ring has the same cash value,
regardless of who wears it; a hammer has the same instrumental value, regardless of who wields it; a sandwich
has the same number of calories or vitamins, the same nutritional value, regardless of who eats it. But a gold ring
that belonged to my grandmother cannot have the same meaning-the same subjective value~for a stranger that it
has for me.

Commentary on the essay "The price of something will not always reflect its
value."
"The thing that determines whether the price ofsomething reflects its
value is the kind of value you are referring to. Ifyou mean the
subjective value, then price doesn't reflect it. It can't, because price is
essentially always an objective consideration. But the objective value of
things can often be approximated by aprice."
The writer of this essay has produced what some of us regard as the standard
treatment of one of the perennial favorites of normative essayists: the difference
between subjective and objective experience. Very often-far too often-students
with a rigorous scientific education come to think of the word "objective" as a
synonym for "true," "real," or "undistorted," while they think of "subjective"
experience as "biased," "illusory," or "opinionated." Taken to its logical extreme,
this way of looking at experience has put more than one scientist in the bizarre
philosophical position of denying the existence of his or her own consciousness or
personality, declaring that both of these subjective constructs are merely
"epiphenomena" or collectively shared hallucinations that float like foam on the
sea of chemicals in each of our brains! We would invite these skeptics to hook
themselves up to a device that registers pain in the human nervous system and
thendrop a bowling ball from a tableonto their ownbare feet. Can theyseriously
maintain that only the objectively measurable read-out from the machine used in
this experiment is real, and that what they seem to feel is only an illusion?
For the sake of reasonable, persuasive, common-sense argumentation in essays

like the ones required for this part of the MCAT, it will be much simpler to adopt
the definitions for "objective" and "subjective" experience offered by this writer
here, and to use them any time the same distinction is called for: "objective" just
means "the same for all observers and participants," and "subjective" means
"different for each observer or participant." We made the same distinction in our
commentary about the subjective nature of justice in the essay about capital
punishment in this series of sample essays. Other practice essay topics dealing
with the same distinction are the ones asking about whether a journalist should
always be strictly objective, and about whether a scientist should stick to
explanations of the natural world, without imparting any personal values to social
or political discourse.
Here we have an essay where task #1 is begun well with a simple paraphrase of
the topic statement: "Saying that the price of something will not always reflect its
value means that the cost you pay for a thing is not necessarily the same as what
that thing is worth to you." The writer follows that up with a supporting example
(the sentimental value attached to something that is absolutely free of charge).
Then comes a clever bit of deductive logic: If "price does not necessarily equal
value" means the same as "cost does not necessarily equal worth," according to the
paraphrase, then by substitution we can say that "pricedoes not necessarily equal
worth." And by negating both halves of this equation, we get: "priceless does not
necessarily equal worthless." In fact, we know from ordinary usage of these terms
that they are antonyms. This is more than mere word-play; it tells us something
about the deeper levels of meanings embedded in language. Quite a lot to pack
into four short sentences!

In the next paragraph, beginning the discussion of task #2 that continues into the
third paragraph, the writer explores some of the same issues that have perplexed
economic theorists since the days of Adam Smith and Karl Marx: How can we
assign a dollar value to anything? What determines this kind of evaluation?
What is the semantic content of ads that tout a product as "a $5.00 value, now only
$3.99"? And what is the real difference between terms like "cash value," "resale
value," and "property value" on one hand, and "historical value," "artistic value,"
"personal value," and "symbolic value" on the other? The writer decides by the
beginning of paragraph 3 that the broadest terms we can use to describe these two
categories of value are "objective" value and "subjective" value~and then goes on
to offer the reader a three-part test to decide which kind of value is under
discussion in any given situation. The criterion for Task #3 is thus simple: Price,
being objective,can be reflected only by objective value, never by subjective value.
Notice that the writer manages to steer clear of the reef upon which some students
founder: At no point is either kind of value called the "real" value of something.
As we explained at the outset of this commentary, the tendency of science
students might be to say that objective value is the only "real" value a thing can
have, because it is empirically assessable. This would leave them in the
uncomfortable position of saying that children have no "real" value to their
parents other than the dollar amount that has been spent to rear them, or perhaps
the market value of all the raw chemical compounds in their bodies. Another
noteworthy thing about this essay is the apparent ease with which the writer
takes a crack at some of the most profound aspects of the problem under
discussion, such as what we mean by the word "meaning" itself (look at the final
sentences of the second and fourth paragraphs).
This essay is rich in examples (one of them, the gold ring in the last paragraph, is
even used twice-once to show what is meant by objective value, and again to
suggest subjective value). It is focused and direct in its analysis of a complex
topic, and it could not be clearer in its definition of essential terms or in the
wording of its final criterion. It is a paper to study and learn from, an exemplar of
concise essay writing style, a model worthy of imitation.
Copyright © by The BerkeleyReview 130 The Berkeley Review

"That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number."
What makes any action the best one to do in a given situation? If we rely on the advice of religious
authorities to answer this question, they might direct us to the words of the Bible, the Koran, or some other sacred
text. They would say the best action is the one that most pleases God. Politicians or businessmen might tell us
that the best action is the one that produces thebestresults, regardless of how they are attained or how much we
mustbend the rules to get them. Usually, theirsacred text is the pollster's survey or the bottom lineof a financial
sheet. But a philosopher might advise us touse the power ofreason to find the answer, and for some philosophers
the most reasonable guideline is that the best action isthe one that makes as many people as possible as happy as
possible.
This was an especially attractive solution to many eighteenth-century European intellectuals, as the
traditional authority of priests and kings began to erode and the new authority of science and reason increased.
Philosophers like Jeremy Bentham actually tried to formulate a moral calculus to assist any rational individual
confronting the problem ofchoosing the best course ofaction in any situation. Bentham said the ultimate goal of
society and of the individual should be to bringabout the greatest happiness for the greatest number. He called
this philosophy "utilitarianism." In practice, one could just sit down and weigh the costs versus the benefits to
everyone that were likely to result from choosingany availableoption, and whichever column had more checks in
it would dictate the correctaction to take. It is said the German philosopher Immanuel Kant decided whether to
marry a particular woman of his acquaintance by a similar method!
It must be admitted, however, that there are many actions whose consequences we would deem desirable-
even the best-although those actions make most people angry, frightened, or unhappy. For example, nobody
likes a tax increase (although everybody likes roads without potholes and a responsive fire department); or getting
a flu shot (although everybody likes getting through the winter without a sniffle); or putting money into a
retirement account, where it stays until you're 65 (although most retired folks seem to enjoy taking those sunny
vacations). Somaybe what helps us decide whether the best action is the one that procures the greatest happiness
for the greatest number is how we define "happiness." If it means the immediate gratification of every appetite
and desire, and the avoidance of anything inconvenient or painful, then it is difficult to justifypaying any taxes at
all using the utilitarian rule, let alone bothering with flu shots or retirement funds. But if it refers to long-term
satisfaction, even if the price is delayed gratification of our wants and needs, then the utilitarian guide has much to
recommend it.
This is not all we can say about the matter, though. Sometimes the goodness of an action is judged not by
how good its outcome is, but by how good the intentions of the moral agent are when he or she acts, regardless of
the outcome. People are fallible and cannot predict the future with certainty. Some carefully thought-out, well-
intended actions make everyone involved very unhappy, even in the long run. If we use goodness of intentions as
our criterion for determining the best action, then the utilitarian principle will often be insufficient for guiding us
toward making the best decision in many situations, especially those whose outcome is hard to foretell, because it
justifies all actions only in terms of their results, regardless of intentions. Sometimes all we can do is pick the
lesserof two evils, and sometimes the worst choiceof all is to do nothing.

Commentary on the essay "That action is best which procures the greatest
happiness for the greatest number."
The writer analyzes the topic statement two ways, one focusing on the definition
of a key term, and the other focusing on different ways of justifyingany action:
The thing that determines whether the best action is the one that
procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number is how we
define the word "happiness." "If it means the immediate
gratification ofevery appetite and desire, and the avoidance ofanything
inconvenient orpainful, then it is difficult tojustify paying any taxes at
all using the utilitarian rule [i.e., the philosophy expressed by the topic
statement], let alone bothering withflu shots or retirement funds. But if
it refers to long-term satisfaction, even if the price is delayed
gratification ofour wants and needs, then the utilitarian guide has much
to recommend it."
And:
The thing that determines whether the best action is the one that
procures the greatest happiness for the greatest number is the extent to
which one believes that the goodness of any action is justified by
its results, regardless of the intentions of the moral agent when
they took that action. "If we use goodness of intentions as our
criterion for determining the best action, then the utilitarian principle
willoften be insufficientforguiding us toward making the best decision
in many situations, especially those whose outcome is hard toforetell,
because it justifies allactions only in terms of their results, regardless of
intentions."
This essay is an excellent specimen showing you what happens when you actually
bother to pay attention in all those history, philosophy, and religious studies
electives you have had to take over the years. The specific references to Jeremy
Bentham and Immanuel Kant may look like nothing more than name-dropping or
showing off on the writer's part, but they are very much on the mark as far as
naming the men whose philosophical writings were most absorbed with the
question of weighing intentions against outcomes as the yardstick to be used in
ethical discourse. Kant, by the way, may (or may not) have used the rather
utilitarian method for selecting a wife alluded to by the writer, but he was one
philosopher who gave greater weight to good intentions, rather than maximum
utility, in his evaluation of the goodness of any and all actions. Like Jesus or
Nazareth (the Christ) and Gautama Siddhartha (the Buddha), Kant had a basic
rule of moral conduct that was a version of the Golden Rule, except he claimed his
rule was logically demonstrable, rather than divinely inspired. Opposed to them
is Niccolo Machiavelli, a political theorist living in Renaissance Florence, the
patron saint of everyone who believes that "the ends justify the means" (or in its
modern incarnations: "By any means necessary!" and: "Hey, you've got to break a
few eggs to make an omelet!").
All of this is leading to the practical point, often raised in class and in officehours,
as to whether it is a good idea to use quotes in the essays. Generally, there is
nothing wrong with this practice, as long as they are effectively placed to
highlight a key point in your argument and not stuck in wherever they happen to

occur to you, and as long as they are genuine and not fabricated. Machiavelli's
pithy little maxim (which is actually the reworking of a much older statement
found in the letters of St. Jerome) is used more often than any other direct quote
by students in our review courses when they are writing justification essays-not
necessarily because everyone subscribes to it, but apparently because it is so easy
to remember. Rarely is the quote attributed to the famous Florentine, however,
either because students are unsure as to who uttered the phrase, or because they
are unsure as to how his name is spelled. Quotations do look more impressive
when credit is given to a source (properly spelled), but bear in mind that
occasional errors in spelling are not marked down too hard-this is, after all, a
first-draft effort. If you cannot recall the precise wording of a quote, but if you
can state its essence in your own words, try expressing it as a paraphrase, without
quotation marks. Many famous quotes are regularly misquoted or used for
purposes other than the one intended by their originator. Maybe a few hours
thumbing through a collection of famous quotations, as part of your outside
reading, will plant some choice words of wisdom in your mind. Remember also
that the scorers for this part of the MCATvery probably include a few editors and
writing instructors who have seen their share of really good counterfeits over the
years, so even though they are reading these essays very rapidly, they know what
to watch out for. Themost prudent policy, again, is not to make up any quotes on
the Writing Sample.
Justification essays typically do not ask for definitions as much as reasons-

specifically, reasons that make some action excusable or forgivable that otherwise
would be unacceptable. The two chief modes of justification are: (1) the
Machiavellian, consequentialist, or utilitarian mode, which judges an action in
terms of its utility or the overall desirability of its outcomes, regardless of what
the writer calls "the intentions of the moral agent..when he or she acts"; and (2)
the Kantian or intentionalist mode, which considers the goodness or badness of
the intentions behind an action, regardless of the consequences. Imagine, as
extreme examples, two scientists working side by side in adjoining laboratories.
One works long hours for little pay and seeks the cure for cancer, but
inadvertently finds a horribly effective nerve gas used to kill millions. The other
sells his scientific know-how to the highest bidder, a chemical firm trying to
develop a horribly effective nerve gas-but he accidentally discovers the cure for
cancer. The dilemma (and hence the Great Justification Debate): Whose actions
are to be judged the best, and on what basis is this judgment to be made?
Pay attention to the dynamics implied in these so-called "justification essays,"

because they occur frequently in many forms in normative writing. Examples of
topic statements of this type would include: "It is always wrong to lie," "Killing is
never justified," "In politics, bad results cannot be justified by good intentions,"
and "No matter how oppressive a government is, violent revolution is never
justified." To maintain consistency and coherence in your argument of such
essays, it is a good idea not to start justifying an action by one mode of
justification at the beginning of the paper and then end up using the other mode
of justification for your conclusion. It is also not very constructive to say: "The
moral agent's intentions were good, because he always intended to get the best
results, no matter whom he had to kill to get them. Therefore, his actions are
justified by the goodness of his intentions." This is just playing around with the
word "best," and it doesn't fool anyone, so avoid it altogether.
The thing that someone accused of bad actions must plead in their own defense in
order to use the intentionalist mode of justification successfully is, to come full
circle, some version of the Golden Rule. Here the Rule would read: If you could

use whatever my excuse is to justify your own behavior in the same
circumstances, then you must excuse my behavior. If you would use lethal force
to defend your own life, then you must excuse my use of it to defend my life. If
you can be forgiven for doing action X because you had insufficient knowledge,
insufficient time to act, no other options, or were otherwise constrained by
limiting factors beyond your control, then you must forgive me for doing the
same action when constrained by the same limiting factors.
Why go into all of this here? We do so because this particular topic statement is a
pure distillation in one sentence of the philosophy that favors the consequentialist
mode of justification over the intentionalist mode, and the writer was bright
enough to understand on some level that this was what confronted him. He
could have taken the easy way out, and simply treated the matter solely as a
"definition essay," one whose criterion in Task #3 always says: "The thing that
determines whether option A or option B is more applicable is how we define
term Y. If we define it this way, then go with option A as the better way to
understand the problem. But if we define it that way instead, then option B has
the edge." Some people, in fact, try to answer every MCAT essay prompt by
saying that everything hinges on how you define this term or that term in the
topic statement-an indiscriminate approach that in some cases is only slightly
less useless than saying for Task #3: "Well,it all depends on the circumstances!" or
"It all depends on the individual!" (That kind of criterion statement for Task #3
would represent the abandonment of any obligation to think critically or to
communicate clearly about the subject matter at all, a complete failure to engage
with the thesis.) And while some essay resolutions very clearly do rest on the way
one defines or understands a certain word or phrase in the topic statement, the
exclusive reliance on this technique is to be avoided. Its unnecessarily litigious
tone when used in some essays has won for this method of resolution the
unflattering nickname of "the lawyer's escape hatch."
At any rate, the writer of this essay sees definition as one possible solution-to say
that our agreement with the statement depends to a large extent on how we
define the concept of "happiness". He could have stopped there and gotten a
mark above the average score range, based on his mastery of language skills and
his entertaining introduction and examples. Then he stops, collects his thoughts,
and adds almost as an afterthought: "This is not all we can say about the matter,
though," and proceeds to outline the Great Justification Debate, as well as a
completely different criterion for Task #3 in line with that, all in a single, well-
crafted paragraph. Thisessayis excellent in terms of its depth and complexity.

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Writing

How to Use This Manual 9

What the Writing Sample is Designed to Assess 9

Topics for Writing Sample Essays 10

How the Writing Sample is Structured: A Brief Overview 10

Grading of MCAT Writing Samples 11

Description of Point Scale 13

What Does All of This Mean? 13

What You Already Know: Essays 14

The Writing Assignment 16

"It is Always Wrong to Lie." 16

Task One: Explain what you think the statement means. 17

TaskThree: Discuss what you thinkdetermines whether it is ever wrong to lie. 20

Preparation for the Writing Sample 21

Essay Topic Statements for Writing Practice Essays 25

IV. Journalists should always be strictly objective. 41

V. Freedom of expression should be absolute. 45

VIII. Health care is a right, not a privilege. 57

XI "A liar should have a good memory." 69

XIV. "Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil." 81

XV. Killing is never justified. 85

XVI. A good citizen votes in every election. 89

XVIII. Violence in films is unnecessary for making an artistic statement. 97

XIX. Freedom is the greatest desire of every individual. 101

XX. "The secret to being a bore is to tell everything." 105

Sample Essays with Commentary 109

I. "A good citizen votes in every election." 113

V. "Art, like science, is more process than product." 125

This manual is designed to focus on the particular requirements of the MCAT

What the Writing Sample is designed to assess

According to the Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC), which

The central thesis expressed in an essay topic statement (or "prompt")

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Topics for Writing Sample essays

How the Writing Sample is structured: The Three Tasks

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Grading of MCAT Writing Samples

Historically, Writing Sample essays have been graded by a group of trained

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Description of the point scale

6 A six shows clarity, depth, and complexity of thought. The assignment is

1 A one indicates by its serious deficiencies in organization and development

What does all of this mean?

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What you already know: Essays

Think of your reader as a regular person-a reasonable person like yourself--and

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Of equal importance is the framework within which the evidence is presented.

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The Writing Assignment

It is always wrong to lie.

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Task One: Explain what you think the statement means.

Generally, brain-freeze is brought on when the test-taker is told to explain

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In summary, although Task #1 can be intimidating, it is very important. Write

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Task Two: Describe a specific situation in which it might not be

"My grandmother's physician had to perform a risky procedure. Unfortunately, my

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A note about logical consistency:

Task Three: Discuss what you think determines whether it is