Notes on Writing Papers and Theses

Author(s): Ken Lertzman

Source: Bulletin of the Ecological Society of America, Vol. 76, No. 2 (Jun., 1995), pp. 86-90
Published by: Ecological Society of America
Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20167913 .
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 Ecology 1

Note: Dr. Harold Ornes is the comments on student papers and the lem with which you are having a
editor of Ecology 101. Anyone wish ses, they also reflect common prob hard time (for instance, organizing
ing to contribute articles or reviews lems in manuscripts I receive for re the structure of an argument in its
to this section should contact him at view. most effective form), it is legitimate
the Department of Biology and Geol 1) Know your audience and write to submit this for someone else's re
ogy, University of South Carolina for that specific audience.-Scien view with the problem highlighted as
Aiken, 171 University Parkway, tific and technical writing can almost a focused request for assistance. Oth
Aiken, SC 29801; (803) 641-3299; never be "general purpose"; it must erwise, submitting a piece of writing
Fax: (803) 641-3251; E-mail: be written for a specific audience. with known errors or problems
whomes(univscvm.csd. scarolina.edu. For the kinds of writing I address means either: (1) you do not consider
here, that audience will generally be your writing worth improving, (2)
Ken Lertzman (Assistant Profes the community of ecologists who you do not respect the reader enough
sion in the School of Resource and read a particular journal or study a to present writing that is as good as
Environmental Management at particular subject. For class papers, you can make it, or (3) you are inca
Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, this community is represented by pable of improving the writing. At
British Columbia, Canada) has cre your professor. In all cases, you must some point, every piece of writing is
ated a list of 21 suggestions pertinent adopt the style and level of writing as good as its writer can make it
to writing within the discipline of that is appropriate for your audience. without outside review. That is the
Ecology. Whether you edit or grade Stylistic conventions and acceptable time to give it to your supervisor.
the writings of others or write for jargon can vary tremendously from 3) Do not turn in a first draft!
pleasure, profit, professional duties, one field to another, and to some ex Ever! Most people's first drafts are
or other reasons, I think you will find tent, from one journal to another. If terrible. I wouldn't make anyone
the following information useful. you are unfamiliar with the conven else suffer through mine. Don't
tions of a field, study them as they make others suffer through yours.
Harold Ornes are manifested in a selection of I've read early drafts of papers by
highly regarded papers and in the eminent ecologists whose final prod
"Instructions for Authors" for key ucts are jewels of English construc
NOTES ON WRITING journals. tion. Their first drafts are terrible
2) Your supervisor/professor is too. "Good writing is rewriting," and
PAPERS AND THESES
not here to teach you basic grammar you should make a serious effort at
Many theses and class papers and spelling.-The more time and editing, rewriting, and fine-tuning
share a common set of problems in emotional energy she or he spends before you give the manuscript to
their early drafts. In response to this on correcting basic English usage, anyone else to read. There are few
observation, I began a set of notes the less remains for issues of content things more frustrating to read than a
based on my repeated comments on or fine-tuning. You are responsible paper in which you know there are
student writing over a period of sev for mastering the basics of the lan pearls of wisdom, but where those
eral years. These notes eventually guage; save your supervisor's time pearls are hidden by sloppy and
grew into a document that I include for more substantive issues. A few ambiguous writing. The chapters of
as a part of course packages and give glitches and non-parallel tenses will my Ph.D. thesis had been through 3
to students preparing theses. I was slip through your own careful edit 5 drafts before anyone on my advi
surprised to discover that even ing, but there is no excuse for fre sory committee ever saw them. If
graduate students often find it diffi quent ungrammatical sentences. you need to put a piece of writing
cult to identify problems in their Similarly, with word processors and away for a few days before you can
writing and frequently lack tools to spell-checkers having become stan approach it dispassionately enough
deal with them effectively. The fol dard writing tools, typos or other to rework it, do so.
lowing 21 suggestions should be rel spelling errors should be very rare. It takes much longer to read poor
evant to both undergraduate and Use a spelling checker before sub writing than good writing. It is a
graduate students. Apparently few mitting anything for anyone else's waste of an advisor's or editor's time
students, at any level, have received reading. to read material that is not yet ready
much instruction in the strategies If you find you are about to sub to be presented and it is disrespect
and tactics for effective scientific mit a paper that you know contains ful to expect them to do so. When an
writing. Though the suggestions I poor writing, consider why you are advisor receives a thesis in which the
make here are based primarily on my doing so. If there is a writing prob writing is poorly developed, expect

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 them to go through enough of it to reflect" and "to reduce" are used as than nouns). Table 1 provides ex
demonstrate the kinds of changes re nouns, and the sentence is more tur amples of adjectival nouns culled
quired, and then return it with the gid and less direct than when they from papers and theses I read during
rest unread. are used as verbs: "The low rate of one month. It is distressingly easy to
Consider forming a mutual edit encounters reflects a reduced popu find awkward strings of adjectival
ing team with other students to re lation density." Some nominal nouns in published papers, where
view each other's work. Publication izations are both useful and effec they are common in titles. Phrases
quality scientific writing is usually a tive, as in "taxation without repre built with one adjectival noun or
product of the research community sentation." Williams (1990) has an verb are often useful (e.g., "hair
rather than the sole effort of the excellent discussion of useless and pin," "gut contents," "sampling
author(s): reviewers and editors useful nominalizations. unit"), but those with more are usu
make a big difference to the vast ma Creating awkward phrases where ally awkward, rarely necessary, and
jority of published papers. You nouns and verbs are used as adjec generally replaced easily (e.g., "bea
should become accustomed both to tives or adverbs is another common ver gut contents," "researcher de
reviewing other people's work and to problem leading to awkward and fined sampling units").
having your own reviewed. wooden writing. In his delightful cri 7) Do not use more words where
4) Get and use style books.-All tique, Hildebrand (1981) called fewer will do.-Do not use long
aspiring ecologists should have a li nouns used this way "adjectival words where short ones will do. Do
brary of books that supports their nouns." Such constructions are al not use jargon where regular lan
technical communication. Distin most invariably clumsy and unclear. guage will do. Do not use special
guish between those that are prima For instance, unless specifically re words to make your writing seem
rily manuals of accepted rules, those ferring to a document, "the Chilko more technical, scientific, or aca
that address how to create a draft Lake park proposal" is not as good demic when the message is more
(e.g., disconnecting the creative as "the proposal for a park at Chilko clearly presented otherwise.
from the critical voice, etc.), and Lake." The first form illustrates both 8) Use an outline to organize
those that focus on rewriting. I rec a nominalization ("proposal" as your ideas and writing.-When you
ommend Williams ( 1990) as a noun vs. verb) and adjectival nouns first start a writing project, make an
manual for rewriting. Williams fo ("Chilko Lake" and "park" as adjec outline of the major headings. List
cuses on how to turn a draft into a tives modifying "proposal" rather the key ideas to be covered under
finished product.
5) Avoid passive constructions
Table 1. Examples of adjectival nouns and verbs from graduate student papers
wherever possible. -The rule that
read in December 1994. Each can be changed easily to a form that is clearer
you must avoid personal pronouns is
and more active (e.g., "suspended sediment increases" can be changed to "in
antiquated and has been rejected by
creases in suspended sediments"). Rewriting these is a useful exercise for stu
most scientific journals. If you col
dents.
lected the data using Smerdyakoff's
Bicranial Olfactory Apparatus, there
is nothing wrong with saying, "I col
suspended sediment increases
lected the data using Smerdyakoff's maximum three-week nitrogen concentrations
Bicranial Olfactory Apparatus." water supply concern
Where it would be repetitive to use streamwater DOC concentrations
personal pronouns ("I did this. I did DOC soil solution concentrations
that. I did the other thing."), or
appropriate waterbody buffering system
where it makes the sentence more maximum floodplain extent
awkward to use the active voice, you
fire severity gradient
may occasionally, cautiously use the
fisher habitat use
passive voice.
the most favorable den location
6) Avoid abusing word forms. researcher defined stands
Use words in the form that conveys
above ground coarse woody debris
your meaning as clearly and simply
previously designated special habitats for particular species
as possible. A variety of writing
time and information constraints
problems arise from using verbs and the first construction attempt
adjectives as nouns . Such word different width linkages
forms are called nominalizations riparian linkage boundaries
(Williams 1990). Consider the sen biogeoclimatic subzone and watershed forest interior objectives
tence, "The low rate of encounters old growth retention and forest interior Forest Ecosystem Network objectives
was a reflection of the reduction in the compositional dynamics focused perspective of traditional gap studies
population density." The verbs, "to

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each heading. Organize your think on student papers is that the contents together can be moved easily. Unfor
ing and the logic of your arguments of a paragraph do not reflect the tunately, they often still read as if
at this level, not when you are trying topic sentence. Make topic sentences they were written separately. This is
to write complete, grammatical, and short and direct. Build the paragraph a great way to structure a draft.
elegant sentences. Separate out the from the ideas introduced in your However, you must read over such
three tasks of: (1) figuring out what topic sentence and make the flow of text for continuity before submitting
you want to say, (2) planning the or individual sentences follow a logical it to others for review.
der and logic of your arguments, and sequence. It is difficult to read for continu
(3) crafting the exact language in Many writers try to finish each ity on the computer screen because
which you will express your ideas. paragraph with a sentence that forms you can see so little text in front of
Many people find it useful when a bridge to the next paragraph. Pay you at any given moment. It is also
making an outline to attach page ing attention to continuity between more difficult to flip over several
lengths and time lines to each sub paragraphs is a good idea. However, pages to scan for repetition, parallel
section. For instance, section 2.4 such sentences are often better as a structure, etc. To do a really good
may be "Evidence for differential topic sentence for the following job of proofing a paper, most writers
use of canopy gaps by Clethrio paragraph than a concluding sen find it necessary to read hard copy at
nomys." To this you might append, tence of the current one. It is nice to some point during the writing/
"3 more days analysis, 4 days writ conclude a paragraph by recapitulat rewriting process. Print all but final
ing; 10 pages." Such time estimates ing its main points and anticipating drafts on paper that has been used
are usually inaccurate, but the pro what follows, but you should avoid previously on one side.
cess of establishing them is quite statements of conclusion or introduc 10) Pay attention to tenses.
useful. tion which contain no new informa Problems of inappropriate or incon
It is very easy to write and ex tion or ideas. sistent tenses are common in student
pand outlines with word processors. Strive for parallelism in structure writing. What you, or others, did in
When starting a writing project, I at all times. When you present a list the past should be stated in the past
create a file in which I first develop of ideas that you will then explore tense (e.g., "I collected these data
an outline as described above. I save further ("Three hypotheses may ac . . ."). Events or objects that con
a copy of the outline separately and count for these results: hypothesis 1, tinue to happen or exist can be de
then commence the writing by ex hypothesis 2, hypothesis 3."), make scribed in the present tense (e.g., "In
panding the outline section-by-sec sure that you then address the ideas this paper I examine ..."; "The data
tion. I usually get ideas for later sec in the same sequence and format in reject the hypothesisthat . . .").
tions while writing earlier ones and which you have presented them ini Events that will take place in the fu
can easily page down and write my tially. It is both confusing and frus ture can be in the future tense. What
self notes under later section head trating to read a list presented as "1, ever tense you choose, be consistent.
ings. This is especially useful for 2, 3, 4" and then find the topics dealt Be careful in using "might," "may,"!
filling out the structure of a Discus with "1, 4, 3, 2." and "would" (as in "this might indi
sion while writing the Results. (For Think about how the structure of cate that . . ."). They are frequently
instance, "When discussing the re your paragraphs will appear to the used as ways of weaseling out of
moval experiment, don't forget to reader who is reading them for the making a clear statement.
contrast Karamozov's 1982 paper first time. She should not have to 11) Captions shouldn't merely
his Table 3
with the astonishing re read the text more than once to un name a table or figure, they should
sults in Figure 7.") By the time I get derstand it. Carefully lead the reader explain how to read it.-A caption
to writing the Discussion, the outline along so that the structure of your ar should contain sufficient information
has usually been fleshed out substan gument as a whole is clear, as well as so that a reader can understand a
tially and most of the topic sentences where the current text fits in it. table or figure, in most cases, with
are present in note form. Paragraphs containing only one out reference to the text. While very
9) Think about the structure of or two sentences are rarely good simple tables and figures may re
paragraphs. -Poorly structured para paragraphs because they can't de quire only a title for clarity, and ex
graphs are one of the most common velop ideas adequately. Two-sen ceptionally complex ones may re
problems I find in graduate student tence paragraphs usually represent quire reference to the text for expla
writing. Though most graduate stu either misplaced pieces of other nation, these circumstances are rare.
dents can write reasonable sentences, paragraphs or fragments of ideas that Captions are often most effective
a surprising number have difficulty should be removed or expanded. when they briefly summarize the
organizing sentences into effective Choppiness both within and main result presented in the table or
paragraphs.A paragraph should be among paragraphsoften results from figure (for example see the caption
gin with a topic sentence that sets the the ease with which we can cut and for Table 1). Don't leave caption
stage clearly for what will follow. paste text on the computer. Ideas that writing to the end of the project;
One of my most frequent comments were written separately but belong write captions when you organize

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your Results section and it will help that process. Expect that you will ence in growth rates among popula
you write the text. produce many more figures and per tions of species A in habitats S and
12) When citing a reference, fo form many more statistical tests than I).
cus on the ideas, not the authors. will be included in the final written 16) Develop a strategy for your
Unless the person who reported a re product. When preparing to write Discussion.-Many novice paper
sult is an important point in a state your results, decide on the elements writers begin their Discussion sec
ment, literature citations should be of the story you wish to tell, then tion with a statement about problems
parenthetical, rather than in the body choose the subset of text, figures, with their methods or the items in
of the sentence. For instance, in most and tables that most effectively and their results about which they feel
cases, it is preferable to write a sen concisely conveys your message. Or most insecure. Unless these really
tence of the form "Though mean ganize this subset of tables and fig are the most important thing about
growth rates in Idaho were <10 cm ures in a logical sequence; then write your research (in which case you
per year (Table 2), growth rates of your story around them. have problems), save them for later.
>80 cm are common in populations Novice writers of scientific pa Begin a Discussion with a short re
in Alberta (Marx 1982)." rather than pers frequently pay too little atten statement of the most important
"Though mean growth rates in Idaho tion to discussing the content of points from your Results. Start with
were <10 cm per year (Table 2), tables and figures. They sometime what you can say clearly based on
Marx (1982) found growth rates of merely present a list of references what you did, not what you can't say
>80 cm to be common in populations (e.g., "Table 1 showsthis result, or what you didn't do. Use this state
in Alberta." Sometimes the identity Table 2 showsthat result, Figure 1 ment to set up the ideas you want to
of the writer is important to the shows the other result."). When writ focus on in interpreting your results
meaning of a statement, in which ing Results sections you should use and relating them to the literature.
case emphasis on the citation is ap the tables and figures to illustrate Use sub-headings that structure the
propriate (e.g., "While Jones (1986) points in the text, rather than making discussion around these ideas.
rejected this hypothesis, Meany's them the subject of your text. Rather 1 7) Introductions and conclu
(1990) reanalysis of his data failed to than writing, "Figure 4 shows the sions are the hardest parts-plan on
do so."). relationship between the numbers of spending a lot of time on them.
13) Show us don't tell us. species A and species B," write "The Many technical writers prefer to
Rather than telling the reader that a abundances of species A and B were write their introductions last because
result is interesting or significant, inversely related (Figure 4)." Distin it is to difficult to craft that balance
show them how it is interesting or guish between your scientific results of general context and specific focus
significant. For instance, rather than and the methodological tools used to required for a good introduction. Of
"The large difference in mean size support and present those results. ten it is easier to achieve this after
between population C and popula 15) Focus on ecological hypoth you have already worked through
tion D is particularly interesting," eses, not statistical hypotheses. writing the entire paper or thesis. If
write "While the mean size generally Most graduate students have learned you need to write the introduction
varies among populations by only a the importance of having and testing first to set the stage for your own
few centimetres, the mean size in clear hypotheses. Unfortunately, thinking, resist the temptation to per
populations C and D differed by 25 many focus their writing on statisti fect it. By the time you have finished
cm. Two hypotheses could account cal hypotheses, not ecological hy the rest of the paper it will likely
for this, . . ."Rather than describing potheses. Statistical hypotheses are need substantial modification. The
a result, show the reader what they generally a trivial consequence of same concerns apply to conclusions,
need to know to come to their own standard approaches to statistical in abstracts, and summaries. These
conclusion about it. ference, such as the null hypothesis components of the paper are all that
14) Write about your results, not of no difference between two popu many people will read, and you must
your tables, figures, and statistics. lations. They rarely have inherent get your message across in as direct,
Confusing and disjointed Results ecological significance and are crisp, and enticing a manner as pos
sections often arise because the meaningful only in the context of the sible. Plan on taking your time and
writer does not have a clear idea of specific test being performed. Focus giving these components several
the story she/he intends to tell. The your writing on the ecological hy more drafts than the rest of the pa
frequent consequence of this is a Re potheses underlying your research per.
sults section consisting of a long, (e.g., that species A is influenced by 18) Break up large projects into
seemingly unrelated sequence of processes X and Y in a specific way, small pieces and work on the
tables and figures. We often go resulting in different growth rates in pieces.-Don't write a thesis;write
through a lengthy and convoluted habitats S and T), not the statistical chaptersor papers.Many thesiswrit
process in understandingthe content null hypotheses required to test spe ers have a hard time starting towrite
of a data set; your paper needn't cific predictions of those ecological because they are intimidatedby the
document all the twists and turnsof hypotheses (e.g., there is no differ huge project looming ahead of them.

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As a result, their first few months' learning about your tools. You "This section offers enormous op
efforts are often awkward and dis needn't learn how to use all the more portunities for improvement. The
jointed, as well as sparse. The thesis exotic features of your word proces text is choppy, both at the sentence
should be separated into small dis sor, but learn the options that are to-sentence level and the paragraph
crete sections, ideally distinct pub available and how to find out the de to-paragraph level. Many different
lishable papers. The overall organi tails when you need them. Minimal points are mixed together in a se
zation of ideas should be done dur ly, be familiar with basic require quence that often follows no logical
ing the planning stage so that when ments for document formatting flow.
you work on individual sections you (character and paragraph formatting, You should:
can concentrate on them. how to make lists with hanging in 1. Create a list of the main points
Don't wait until you think you've dents, page organization, etc.) and that you want to make here.
completed all your analyses to start basic operating system requirements 2. Organize them in point form in
writing. "Parallel processing" of (copying and saving files, doing di a logical sequence in which one
writing one chapter while you com rectory searches). The same com builds on what came previously.
plete the analyses for others and ments apply to the use of statistical Then restructure your text so it fol
make presentation quality figures is packages, graphics programs, and lows this sequence.
a good strategy for avoiding writer's spreadsheets: it is often possible to 3. Write topic sentences that state
burn-out. Writing and analysis for get the job done with little finesse in the key issue for each point suc
any given chapter or paper is often manipulating your software, but you cinctly and without jargon.
an iterative process. Writing the re will usually do a better job more ef 4. Flesh out each paragraph with
sults section of a paper is often the ficiently after some investment in a carefully constructed sequence of
best way to discover the analyses technical skills. sentences that builds the argument
and figures that still need to be done. Almost everyone seems to re you want to make.
19) Make your writing flow and quire their own personal disaster to 5. Make sure there is adequate
resonate.-Probably the most frus convince them of the need for back conceptual 'glue' between para
trating and useful review I have re ing up important files regularly. The graphs and major sections. Lead the
ceived was from my masters advisor, frequency of "lost file" based ex reader along so there are no surpris
Lee Gass, on a draft of a paper from cuses for late papers is remarkable. I ing jumps in subject. The reader
my M.Sc. thesis. He said that all the save files to my hard drive fre should anticipate your next subject
key points were there and that the quently during working sessions and before you get there."
writing wasclear, but it didn't "flow at the end of each session I make a
and resonate." He sent me back to back-up copy of any file that Iwould Acknowledgments
rework it, and, eventually, the pub mind losing. The working memory I would like to thank the many
lished product did "flow and reso of your computer is transitory and students who inspired and gave feed
nate" (at least we thought so). easily purged of its contents. Indi back on these notes. I hope their
Once or twice a year I come vidual hard and floppy disks are pleasure in good writing justifies the
across a paper that is written so well little better as permanent storage pain of getting there. Thanks also to
it is a joy to read. If the content is as forms. Redundant copies dispersed Lee Gass for his continuing inspira
good as the writing, the experience in space and time are your main hope ti()n in the use of language and to J.
of reading it can shape my thinking for avoiding disasters. When you M. Williams for writing a style book
for some time thereafter. Papers have invested a lot in a writing that is a model of clarity, grace, and
written so well that they "flow and project (such as a thesis that is near common sense.
resonate" are much more likely to ing completion), keep at least one
influence your readers than the recent backup copy at home and one Literature Cited
equivalent message presented in a at school at all times in addition to Hildebrand, M. 1983. Noun use criti
form that is merely clear. When you your working copy on a hard drive. cism. Science 221:698.
find a paper that succeeds in this, Keep sample hard copies of recent W'illiams, J. M. 1990. Style: toward
study carefully how the authors con drafts until you complete the project. clarity and grace. University of
structed their arguments and used 21) Take editorial comments seri Chicago Press, Chicago, Illinois,
language; try to identify what makes ously.-It may be clear from an USA.
the paper work so well. editor's comments that they didn't
20) Use word processors effec understand the point you were mak Ken Lertzman
tively and back up your work reli ing. If so, that is a clear indication School of Resource and Environ
giously- Computers have improved that you need to improve your writ mental Management
tremendously the ease with which ing.Here is an example of my com Simon Fraser University
we can edit, shuffle, rewrite, and ments on an early draft of a thesis. Burnaby, British Columbia
spell-check a paper. To do this effi These are among themost frequent Canada VSA IS6
ciently requires investing time in recommendations Imake. E-mail: lertzman@sfu.ca

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