Professional Documents
Culture Documents
THEORIES/THOMAS GORDON
THOMAS GORDON
Overview of History and Theory
References:
Gordon Training International.(2005-2007). Retrieved June 11, 2007
from http://www.gordontraining.com.
Classroom Philosophy
The central tenet of Dr. Gordon’s approach to classroom management is the importance of
developing meaning and mutually beneficial relationships. Dr. Gordon rejects traditional models of
reward and punishment because they are based upon an assertion of power and foster no intrinsic
motivation. Instead Dr. Gordon focuses on how student’s conflicts can be resolved in a way that will
improve their relationships with their teacher and peers.
Dr. Gordon recognizes that conflict is an inevitable part of relationships because each person is an
individual with unique values and needs. There will be times when these needs come into conflict.
However, conflict does not have to destroy a relationship. By having open and honest
communication, along with listening with genuine acceptance and understanding, individuals are
able to find their own solutions. It is important that these solutions are agreeable to both parties
involved in the conflict. It is also important to tell someone if their behaviors are negatively affecting
you. The hope is that they will respect your feelings enough to change their behavior (Gordon,
1978).
When conflict arises in the classroom setting Dr. Gordon suggests following a series of steps. The
first step is to use a graphic tool developed by Dr. Gordon called a “Behavior Window.” The purpose
of the Behavior Window is to determine if “a problem exists, who owns it, and what skill can be used
to solve it” (Gordon Training International, 2005-2007). If the student owns the problem, the second
step for the teacher is to engage is active listening. Active listening occurs when a teacher listens and
reflects back to a student their understanding of the conflict. This process communicates to the
student that the teacher cares and is genuinely engaged in the conversation. If the teacher owns the
problem, Dr. Gordon suggests that the second step of the resolution process begin with an “I-
Message”. This means that the teacher will initiate the conversation by explaining her feelings to the
student. The purpose of the I-Message is to confront someone else’s misbehavior without being
confrontational. The final step is the “No-Lose Conflict Resolution.” The purpose of this final step is
to come up with a solution that everyone can be invested in. If both parities participate in creating a
solution, the solution is more likely to work!
References:
Gordon, Thomas. (1978). A Credo for My Relationship with Others. Retrieved June 12, 2007
from http://www.gordontraining.com/popup-a-credo-for-my-relationships-with-others.html
Gordon Training International.(2005-2007). Retrieved June 11, 2007
from http://www.gordontraining.com.
Implementation
The implementation of Thomas Gordon’s theory of conflict resolution must be based on helping
student relations grow positively out of conflict, rather than degenerate. This can be accomplished by
discussing and agreeing on common resolutions in a role-play situation before implementation into
the classroom. The main components of the theory should be modeled, discussed, and then actively
practiced for proper implementation. These components include active listening and the usage of I-
messages to form a common resolution of a dispute.
In an elementary setting, Thomas Gordon’s theory of conflict resolution can be implemented through
a “Peace Walk.” The peace walk is designed for two students to walk together through specific steps
that lead to peaceful resolution of conflict. Each student is to practice active listening, as well as the
usage of I-messages. One student is the color red, while the other is blue. The steps include:
Step 1: RED: use an I-message to tell how you feel. BLUE: Listen and retell what you hear.
Step 2: RED: Suggest a solution. BLUE: Listen and retell what you hear.
Step 3: BLUE: Suggest a solution. RED: Listen and retell what you hear.
Step 4: RED: Agree on a solution. BLUE: Agree on a solution.
In a secondary setting, Thomas Gordon’s theory of conflict resolution can be implemented through a
“Peace Table,” which is permanently located in a section of each classroom. If a conflict among
students occurs in a classroom setting, the students are required to sit at the “Peace Table” and
discuss their individual feelings. The peace table is equipped with a graphic organizer, which lists the
steps students are required to take in order to resolve the conflict. The steps are as follows:
1. Student A uses I-messages to explain how he/she feels about the present situation.
2. Student B practices active listening while Student A shares his/her feelings.
3. Student B uses I-messages to explain how he/she feels about the present situation.
4. Student A practices active listening while Student B shares his/her feelings.
5. Students A and B agree on a common solution after their discourse is complete.
Implementation of the peace walk and the peace table should be preceded with appropriate modeling
of the conflict resolution theory. Students should have the opportunity to practice active listening and
the usage of I-messages through role-plays in the classroom.
In an elementary setting, a teacher can provide students with generated social conflicts, which
students may practice resolving through the peace walk process. Students can practice active
listening and the usage of I-messages. They can then determine an appropriate resolution to the
generated conflict, in which both students are equally invested.
In a secondary setting, a teacher can create a role-play scenario, in which students are to conference
peacefully about a specific global issue. Students are required to practice active listening while
another is speaking. In discussing the global issue, students are required to use I-messages to present
information about the issue, as well as express how they are personally feeling. Near the end of the
discussion, all students are required to agree upon a common resolution, in which everyone is
invested.
Professional Critique
According to Thomas Gordon, the basis for a manageable classroom is developing positive
relationships with students. Many other educators support this idea through the use of I messages and
active listening; some have even gone as far as to include it as part of a curriculum.
Amy Martin, from the Morningside Center for Teaching Social Responsibility, has created lesson
plans for teaching the use of I-Messages in the classroom. Martin’s use of I-Messages supports
Gordon’s philosophy in that it provides resources for teachers and parents to resolve conflicts
constructively with their children. Martin focuses on the fact that I messages do not put blame on the
individual, but rather allow for a strong statement about one’s feelings while remaining positive.
Similar to Gordon, Martin recognizes that peaceful resolutions help individuals to grow in positive
relationships after a conflict. In addition to using this method in times of conflict, Martin claims it is
important to create a routine where students can practice using I-Messages before hectic times of day
such as recess and other transitions.
She states “These are times of the day when strong emotions can take over and interfere with clear
expression. Because our days are usually over-packed with teaching and learning, it is important to
really plan this activity into your schedule” (Martin)
Other curriculum companies such as Success for All have actually created manuals like Getting
Along Together to teach conflict management at the very beginning of the year in order to create an
environment filled with positive relationships. This manual uses an activity called “The Peace Path”
(Success for All, 2005). This activity supports Gordon’s philosophy of creating positive relationships
out of conflict by giving students specific steps for resolving conflicts. The first step calls for one
child to use an I-Message to express their feelings. At this time, the other student must use active
listening to listen and restate what he or she heard. The next step has the first student suggest a
solution while the other student listens and restates the first student’s solution. Then, the second
student suggests a solution while the first student listens and retells the other student’s solution.
Finally, both students agree on a solution (Success for All, 2005). This particular activity focuses on
Gordon’s primary components of conflict resolution and supports the building of positive
relationships in the classroom.
Resources
Martin, Amy. I-Messages and the Assertiveness Line. Retrieved June 15, 2007
from http://www.teachablemoment.org/elementary/imessages.html
Success for All. (2005).
References:
Bluestein, J. (2007). What’s Wrong with I-Messages? [Electronic version]. Instructional
Our critique:
After carefully researching Thomas Gordon's classroom management theory and articles from his
colleagues, we have concluded that Gordon's theory is only one piece of the puzzle. Gordon’s use of
I-Messages and Active Listening can be a very useful tool for addressing one’s own feelings.
However, we believe that the use of I-Messages still poses blame on another party. We feel it is
important for students to recognize that feelings from an action are subject to that individual’s
personality; no one can make you feel something. We believe it is important for students to take
responsibility for their own feelings and not blame them on another person. In Gordon’s
implementation of I-Messages as student would state: “I feel (feeling) when you (action).” We
disagree with the use of I messages in this format because the blame is still being placed on another
individual. Perhaps a way to change this is by never using the word you in an I-Message. For
example, “I feel (feeling) when (action) happens.” One of Gordon’s goals in his management theory
is for students to develop positive relationships out of conflict; we believe there is a better way to
meet this goal than using Gordon’s model of I-Messages.
Questions
1. What techniques that Thomas Gordon uses to solve conflicts? List at least three techniques.
2. Evaluate. How you could implement Gordon’s model of conflict resolution in your classroom
management plan?