If You Were a Carrot

If you were a carrot If you were a jotter

and I was a sprout and I was a pen

I’d boil along with you I’d write you a message

I’d sit on your plate again and again

If you were a tadpole If you were a farmer

and I was a frog I’d be in your herd

I’d wait till your legs grew if you were a pop song

I’d teach you to croak I’d sing every word

If you were a conker I wish I could tell you

and I was a string that I like you a lot

we’d win every battle but you’re like a secret

we’d beat everything and I’m like a knot.

by Berlie Doherty

Miss Lucy had a baby

Miss Lucy had a baby,

She named him Tiny Tim,

She put him in the bathtub

To see if he could swim.

He drank up all the water,

He ate a bar of soap,

He tried to eat the bathtub,

But it wouldn’t go down his throat.

Miss Lucy called the doctor,

Miss Lucy called the nurse,

Miss Lucy called the lady

With the alligator purse.

In came the doctor,

In came the nurse,

In came the lady

With the alligator purse.

“Mumps,” said the doctor,

“Measles,” said the nurse,

“Chicken pox,” said the lady

With the alligator purse.

Out went the doctor,

Out went the nurse,

Out went the lady

with the alligator purse.