INTIMACY

ROMANTIC LOVE: COMPANIONATE LOVE:

“Friends with “Obligatory love” You
Benefits” see this kind of love
You see this kind of with your grandparents.
relationship with one
night stands. Compassionate love:
Long-term love

PASSION COMMITTMENT
FATUOUS LOVE T

FATUOUS LOVE:
“Las Vegas weddings” and “stupid love”
You see this style of love within young couples, or
couples who are in a rush to get married

Class Notes:
The above chart is called the “triangular theory of love” developed by Robert Sternberg at Yale
University. The diagram shows the different relationships one can have depending on the
characteristics put into the relationship. A relationship containing only intimacy and
commitment is a relationship like your grandparents have (generally) it’s a long term
relationship, but it’s an obligatory love, and sometimes a convenience love- it’s called
companionate love. When you have passion and commitment, you get a fatuous love. It’s a love
that is described as young love, the “Las Vegas wedding” kind of romance. When you’re given
passion and intimacy, you get the romantic love, often the one night stands and the friends
with benefits. You don’t have a lot of conversation, it’s more of a sexual relationship and only
that. When you get all the characteristics, commitment, passion & intimacy, you get what is
described as the long term love, the goals of relationships. You get the compassionate love.
Without all three characteristics of the relationships, you’re destined to have a “failing”
relationship.