10 Ways to

Sound More Polite

when speaking English!

a workshop by English with Kim!

ENGLISHWITHKIM.COM
 Hey there!
I’m Kim and I’m your guide to
the essential conversation
skills you need to sound
more natural in English.

And who might you be?

ENGLISHWITHKIM.COM
 Why You Want to Sound More Polite
Have you ever been told that your language is too direct, your
tone is too aggressive, or that you sound argumentative in
English?

To sound more polite in English, there are several strategies

you can use to soften your language while still making your
meaning clear.

Using these strategies can help you sound more tactful and
diplomatic if you pay attention to stress and intonation.
 #1
Use modal verbs
 Use modal verbs: could, would, might
Using could, would, and might can help create a little distance
between your true, strong opinion and your choice of words to
express yourself.

Creating distance helps ensure that your listener will be more

receptive to what you have to say.

Be sure to pay special attention to your tone. When speaking,

focus on how you can emphasize the modal verb and its feeling
of possibility using more expressive, less flat intonation.
Use modal verbs: could, would, might
more direct more polite
You should revise the report. You could revise the report.

I don’t agree with that. I wouldn’t agree with that.

We need more time to decide. We might need more time to

decide.
They must practice speaking
more. They could practice speaking more.
 #2
Use negative contractions
with positive adjectives
 Use negative contractions with
positive adjectives
A useful technique for sounding more polite and diplomatic is
using positive adjectives with the negative contraction (n’t)
rather than using the negative adjective.

This softens the impact of critical feedback. Even though you

are expressing a negative opinion, the use of more positive
language helps your listener stay receptive to what you have
to say and keeps the lines of communication open.
 Use negative contractions with
positive adjectives
more direct more polite
That’s a horrible idea. That isn’t a great idea.

That looks ugly. That doesn’t look attractive.

That’s a waste (bad use) of our time. That isn’t a good use of our time.

This project will be unsuccessful. This project won’t be successful.

 #3
Use “not very”
 Use “not very”
Combined with the previous strategy, using “not very” enables
you to state your honest opinion by distancing yourself from
the language that may be received poorly by your listener.

Using “not very” with a more positive adjective softens the

impact of your clearly stated opinion while still enabling you
to give a fair assessment.
 Use “not very”
more direct more polite
The report was poorly written. The report wasn’t very well written.

The sales figures are terrible. The sales figures aren’t very good.

Your timeline is inconvenient for us. Your timeline isn’t very convenient
for us.
I am pessimistic about the outcome.
I’m not very optimistic about the
outcome.
 #4
Use qualifiers
 Use qualifiers
When you give someone feedback that might not be welcome,
you can use one of the following qualifiers to reduce the
critical impact of your words. Using qualifiers before the noun
or adjective enables you to sound more diplomatic.

The advantage of using qualifiers to state your opinion is that

you’re still clear about what the problem is, but the qualifier
shows that it is something that can be fixed or adjusted
without extreme effort.
 Use qualifiers
Here are the qualifiers you can use to soften your language:
• a little • small
• a bit • minor
• a little bit (of) • a few
• a little/bit too • a couple of
• slight/slightly • one or two
• short • some
 Use qualifiers
more direct more polite
That looks way too tight on you. That looks a bit too tight on you.

There’s going to be a delay. There’s going to be a slight delay.

I have several suggestions. I have one or two suggestions.

We have a problem. We have a minor problem.

 #5
Use comparatives
Use comparatives (-er, less, more)
When you need to state your opinion clearly, but you want to
make the other person feel like his or her desires are also
being considered, use comparatives in order to present your
idea as a suggestion rather than a requirement.

You can combine this strategy with the others we have

already looked at to create more distance from your request.
 Use comparatives
more direct more polite
3PM is best for me. 3PM is better for me.

It is foolish to miss this opportunity. It is wiser to take this opportunity.

That option is way too expensive. This option is less expensive.

We need to see the research before We need to see more research

deciding. before deciding.
 #6
Present your idea as a
question
 Present your idea as a question
Like the last strategy, presenting your opinion, idea, or request
as a question can make the other person feel like his or her
perspective is being considered.

By asking a question that includes your preference, you are

showing that you are open to negotiation, but you’ve already
suggested what works best for you.
 Present your idea as a question
more direct more polite
3PM works for us. Does 3PM work for you?

We need to meet again soon. Can we meet again soon?

We should reschedule the meeting. Should we reschedule the meeting?

Revise the offer. Could you revise the offer?

 #7
Present your idea as a
negative question
Present your idea as a negative question
Presenting your idea as a negative question combines the
previous strategies to enable you to create more distance
between you and your request.

Softening your language in this way helps you sound more

tactful and diplomatic while leading the other person right to
where you want them to be.
Present your idea as a negative question
more direct more polite
We should reschedule the Shouldn’t we reschedule the
meeting. meeting?

Revise the offer. Couldn’t you revise the offer?

Friday is too late. Isn’t Friday too late?

I would like some more time to Wouldn’t you like some more time
consider. to consider?
 #8
Present your idea as an
indirect question
Present your idea as an indirect question
You can make questions even more polite by presenting them
as indirect or embedded questions.

Indirect questions create distance from what you want or

need from the other person, which makes requests more
polite, observations less confrontational, and suggestions
more of a strong nudge than criticism.

Since these questions include more hesitation and distance in

the way they are formed, they are considered extra polite.
Present your idea as an indirect question
more direct more polite
We should reschedule the I wanted to know if we can
meeting. reschedule the meeting.

Have you decided yet? I was wondering if you’ve decided

yet.
Isn’t Friday too late?
I’m not sure if Friday is too late.
I want more time to think about it.
I was thinking that we’d want more
time to think about it.
 #9
Use past and past
continuous expressions
Use past and past continuous expressions
These special expressions show consideration of the other
person’s feelings and demonstrate our own flexibility. Placing
our opinions in the past suggests that this desire was just a
passing thought, not a urgent request or demand; this gives
the other person space to respond without regret.

Native speakers don’t actually hear the past tense when you
use these expressions; instead, they hear the polite distancing
of the request. They understand that your request is current.
Use past and past continuous expressions
more direct
What time is your appointment?
Are you going to accept the job?
We already discussed your
proposal.
I want to make pizza for dinner.
more polite
I wanted to check what time your
appointment is.
We were hoping that you’re going
to accept the job.
We were discussing your proposal.
I was considering making pizza for
dinner.
 #10
Use the plural “we” instead
of “I” or “you”
Use the plural “we” instead of “I” or “you”
As you have noticed from the previous strategies, sounding
more polite involves being inclusive and involving the other
person’s feelings and perspective in the way you present your
feedback, opinion, suggestion, or request.

To make this inclusiveness even more explicit, you can use

the plural “we” instead of presenting your idea with “I” or
“you.” This indicates that you are considering the other
person as much as yourself.
Use the plural “we” instead of “I” or “you”
more direct more polite
I need to cancel the meeting. We need to cancel the meeting.

You should take some time to We should take some time to think
think about it. about it.

I have several suggestions. We have some suggestions.

You should be more positive. We should be more positive.

 Let’s Review
10 Ways to Sound More Polite
1. Use modal verbs 6. Present your idea as a question
2. Use negative contractions 7. Present your idea as a negative
with positive adjectives question
3. Use “not very” 8. Present your idea as an indirect
question
4. Use qualifiers
9. Use past and past continuous
5. Use comparatives expressions
10. Use the plural “we” instead of “I”
or “you”