Refocusing

Family Engagement: Seven Shifts for Engaging Families as Partners in Young People’s Success Page 1

Seven Shifts to Partner with Families to Tap their Strengths

From an Emphasis on . . . Toward an Emphasis on . . .

1. Deficits, Risks, or Dysfunction in Families Families’ Strengths and Resilience
• Start where they are
• Invite families to tell their own stories
• Tap strengths to work on challenges
• Video resource: https://youtu.be/X9jMGSOoJKE

2. Recruiting Families to Participate Building Relationships with Families

• Cultivate mutual trust
• Give relationships time
• See checklist on page 3

3. Advancing Our Organization’s Agenda Connecting with Families’ Agenda and Priorities
• Listen to families’ hopes, fears, strengths, and challenges,
• Strong families and family relationships are foundational
for families contributing to other goals and priorities
• Find common ground

4. Building Parenting Skills Deepening Family Relationships

• Developmental relationships—More info:
www.search-institute.org/relationships-first
• Invite youth and parents to practice together
• Create routines, habits, and rituals that cultivate and
sustain relationships

5. Early Childhood as Primary Opportunity Multiple Transitions as Connecting Points

• Check on progress, growth, challenges
• Adjust and set new goals
• Public and private milestones
• Identify what’s next; help repattern

6. Individual Families on their Own Families Embedded in Connected Communities

• Within and across ages/stages
• Formal and informal networks, connections
• General and specific needs, challenges
• Short-term and long-term
• Invitations from trusted friends

7. Serving Families Empowering Families

• Peer leaders
• Community service and civic action
• Informal leadership opportunities
• Advisory roles

NOTE: Shifting emphasis does not require abandoning everything you might do in column #1.

Copyright © 2017 by Search Institute, Minneapolis, MN. May be reproduced for nonprofit, educational use.
Refocusing Family Engagement: Seven Shifts for Engaging Families as Partners in Young People’s Success Page 2

Search Institute’s Developmental Relationships Framework

Developmental relationships are close connections through which young people discover who they are, cultivate
abilities to shape their own lives, and learn how to engage with and contribute to the world around them. They
involve a dynamic mix of five elements, which are expressed through 20 actions.*

Elements Actions Definitions

1. Express Care • Be dependable ............... Be someone I can trust.

• Listen .............................. Really pay attention when we are
Show me that I matter together.
to you.
• Believe in me ................. Make me feel known and valued.
• Be warm ......................... Show me you enjoy being with me.
• Encourage ...................... Praise me for my efforts and
achievements.

2. Challenge Growth • Expect my best ............... Expect me to live up to my potential.

• Stretch ............................ Push me to go further.
Push me to keep
• Hold me accountable ..... Insist I take responsibility for my actions.
getting better.
• Reflect on failures .......... Help me learn from mistakes and
setbacks.

3. Provide Support • Navigate ......................... Guide me through hard situations and

systems.
Help me complete • Empower ........................ Build my confidence to take charge of my
tasks and achieve life.
goals. • Advocate ........................ Stand up for me when I need it.
• Set boundaries ............... Put in place limits that keep me on track.

4. Share Power • Respect me .................... Take me seriously and treat me fairly.

• Include me ..................... Involve me in decisions that affect me.
Treat me with respect
• Collaborate .................... Work with me to solve problems and
and give me a say.
reach goals.
• Let me lead .................... Create opportunities for me to take
action and lead.

5. Expand Possibilities • Inspire ............................ Inspire me to see possibilities for my

future.
Connect me with • Broaden horizons ........... Expose me to new ideas, experiences, and
people and places places.
that broaden my • Connect .......................... Introduce me to people who can help me
world. grow.

* Because relationships are, by definition, bidirectional, each person in a strong relationship engages in and experiences each of these
actions. However, for the purpose of clarity, the framework is expressed from the perspective of one young person.

Copyright © 2017 by Search Institute, Minneapolis, MN. May be reproduced for nonprofit, educational use.
Refocusing Family Engagement: Seven Shifts for Engaging Families as Partners in Young People’s Success Page 3

Reflecting on Your Relationships with Families

Use this worksheet to reflect on your relationships with the families who are already connected to your organization. (Don’t
focus on those that you only see in passing.)

The statement is generally true about my

relationship with . . . .

Very few A few Many Most

of the of the of the of the

families families families families

I am someone they can trust. ____ ____ ____ ____

I really pay attention to them when we are together. ____ ____ ____ ____
Express
Care

I make them feel known and valuable. ____ ____ ____ ____
I show them that I enjoy being together. ____ ____ ____ ____
I praise them for their efforts and achievements. ____ ____ ____ ____

I expect them to live up to their potential. ____ ____ ____ ____

Challenge

I push them to go further. ____ ____ ____ ____

Growth

I insist that they take responsibility for their actions. ____ ____ ____ ____
I help them learn from mistakes and setbacks. ____ ____ ____ ____

I guide them through hard situations and systems. ____ ____ ____ ____
Provide
Support

I build their confidence to take charge of their lives. ____ ____ ____ ____
I defend them when they need me to. ____ ____ ____ ____
I put limits in place that keep them on track. ____ ____ ____ ____

I take them seriously and treat them fairly. ____ ____ ____ ____
I involve them in decisions that affect them. ____ ____ ____ ____
Share
Power

I work with them to solve problems and reach goals. ____ ____ ____ ____
I create opportunities for them to take action and lead. ____ ____ ____ ____

I inspire them to see possibilities for their future. ____ ____ ____ ____
Possibilities
Expand

I expose them to new ideas, experiences, and places. ____ ____ ____ ____
I introduce them to people to help them grow. ____ ____ ____ ____

As you review your responses, do you think the families would respond the same way about your interactions with them?
Are the actions you do most consistently the ones they need the most right now? This checklist is a self-reflection tool. It is
not a formal assessment.

Copyright © 2017 by Search Institute, Minneapolis, MN. May be reproduced for nonprofit, educational use.
Refocusing Family Engagement: Seven Shifts for Engaging Families as Partners in Young People’s Success Page 4

Resources and Services from Search Institute

Don’t let families disconnect from each other or from your school or
program as they enter the middle-school years. Keep Connected
offers a seven-session workshop series for parents and middle
schoolers. Families explore the five essential elements of parent-
youth relationships through a mix of learning and sharing activities
for parents, for youth, and for parents and youth together.
More information: www.search-institute.org/KeepConnected.

ParentFurther.com is a free online resource to help families

strengthen relationships through shared activities. It includes self-
quizzes for parents to reflect on each element of a developmental
relationship as well as short, self-guided activities can enjoy together
to strengthen their relationships.

REACH is a new set of research-based resources to strengthen

students’ academic motivation and put them on the path to
becoming self-propelled young adults. REACH is an acronym for:
R elationships—Connections to learn and grow
E ffort—The power of a growth mindset
A spirations—Hopes for a positive future
C ognition—Key self-regulation strategies
H eart—Core values and sparks
The REACH suite includes a student survey, workshops for educators,
technical assistance, and an in-depth implementation. For more
information, visit www.search-institute.org

Don’t Forget the Families. A 2015 study of developmental

relationships with more than 1,000 parents and an activities booklet
based on the framework (Bringing Developmental Relationships
Home: Tips and Relationship Builders for Families) are avaiable for
free dowloading at www.search-institute.org/dff

Surveys Workshops Other Resources

www.search-institute.org/surveys www.search-institute.org/ www.searchinstitutestore.org
Available surveys examine developmental keynotes- workshops Search Institute offers a variety
relationships, student motivation, youth Build expertise and develop of books and resources for
program quality, and developmental practical strategies to put Search educators, youth workers,
assets. Each survey is offered online and Institute research into practice parents, and other leaders that
includes an actionable report on findings. with a range of workshops. focus on practical strategies to
build assets and other strengths.

Search Institute • 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413
www.search-institute.org • 612-376-8955

Copyright © 2017 by Search Institute, Minneapolis, MN. May be reproduced for nonprofit, educational use.