WAITING FOR DARKNESS

DANNY ERIN

15 POEMS

1. Waiting For Darkness

2. Time Heals Nothing
3. God’s Suicide
4. Swimming With Paedophiles
5. Never Been Alive
6. Let’s Pretend I’m The Devil
7. Frozen Laughter
8. Every Night
9. Check The Distance
10. What I Like About Myself
11. God Has Been Sacked
12. From Dahmer
13. Message To Fat Bastards
14. I Will Teach You Evil
15. There Is A Light
WAITING FOR DARKNESS

All day long

since first light
sneaked its way in
uninvited, resented
you’re just waiting
for darkness to return.

The day arrives

like some unwanted visitor
you’re forced to admit
and are reluctantly
polite to
even knowing they bring
the latest punishments.

The light scrapes

across your mind
like sandpaper
as it floods the land
pompously
full of its own importance
watching, expecting, bullying
demanding rituals
are performed
in its honour.

But nothing that occurs

in the day
really touches you anymore
nor ever will again
because the legacy
of loss
never leaves
nor ever will again.

You watch the light

start to die
and there’s relief
at its passing,
a candle lit
to encourage
darkness in
and hurry light out.

Then blessed night

rolls in slowly
like an incoming tide
soothing, comforting, engulfing.
Affairs of the light
seem distant now
no longer important
deserve no special attention,
so you pour a drink
a vodka and darkness on the rocks
which merges
with valium
to celebrate
the death of the day.

Best part of the day

is night
that’s when
the bastard light
grows dim
let’s oblivion
begin.
TIME HEALS NOTHING

Time heals everything

so the saying goes,
yeah so it does
in about
a thousand years
given the wounds
I’m carrying now
and the wounds
I know
will come.

Time heals nothing

in this life,
pain recedes
like an
ebbing tide,
there’s a
brief respite
then pain
flows back.
Wounds appear
to have healed
but it’s only
superficial -
the merest
memory scratch
and they’re open
once again.

Time heals nothing

in this life,
you just become
less
than you used to be,
dead
where you used to be
alive.

You still feel

but the pain
filters everything
and so very little
of real substance
touches you.
Pain has
changed you forever
and you’ll never
be you again.
So be warned -
time heals nothing
in this life.
Nothing.
GOD’S SUICIDE

Imagine if God
took a
long hard look
at us all
again
and was
disgusted
with what
He saw.

The wars
the torture
the starvation
the greed
the poverty.

Imagine if
He decided,
‘That’s it,
I’m tired of it all,
I’ve had enough.’

Then quietly
committed suicide.
SWIMMING WITH PAEDOPHILES

Some people
like to swim
with dolphins,
the braver ones
like to swim
with sharks
but I’d like to swim
with paedophiles.
I’d take them out
in my boat
to a quiet, calm
part of the ocean,
tie their hands
behind their backs,
strap on
their oxygen tanks,
then tip them
over the side
of the boat.
I’d swim down
with them
to fifty feet
then wrap
anchor chains
round their ankles,
rip off
their oxygen tanks
and watch
as the sick fucks
disappear
into the deep.
NEVER BEEN ALIVE

The Doctor
said to me,
“It’s bad news I’m afraid.
The cancer is worse
than we thought.
You’re going
to die soon.”
I looked at him
and said,
“But Doctor,
how can I die soon
when I’ve never
been alive
in the first place?”
LET’S PRETEND I’M THE DEVIL

Let’s pretend I’m the Devil

and I tortured you
six days a week
like your God does,
would you worship me
on the seventh?

Let’s pretend I’m the Devil

and I allowed some psycho
to kidnap and murder
your five year old daughter
as your God has done,
would you worship me
on the seventh?

Let’s pretend I’m the Devil

and I stood by and watched
as your home
and everything you’ve worked for
disappeared in a fire or flood
as your God has done,
would you worship me
on the seventh?

The horrors
he inflicts on you
are endless.
I’m sure
many examples
easily spring to mind
so why worship him
on the seventh?

He demands so much
yet the only explanation offered
is some 2000 year old story
about his son being crucified
then some vague rambling
in a book that still causes doubts.

And hey
check that one out,
if he allowed
his only son
to be crucified,
what chance
does a nonentity like you
have of his mercy?
Actually I am the Devil
and I’m coming over
to visit you
in your home,
I’m going to
torture you
six days a week
like your God does,
let’s see if you worship me
on the seventh.
FROZEN LAUGHTER

There are a hundred tons

of frozen laughter
locked up
inside me,
trapped
like tons of ice
at the north and south poles
and it will take
more than just
a few rays
of sunshine
to unfreeze it all
in this lifetime.
EVERY NIGHT

Every night
I drift off
to sleep
hoping
that I’ll
wake up sane.

Unfortunately
every morning
I wake up
and am
disappointed
yet again.
CHECK THE DISTANCE

Check the distance

from yourself
from the man
you thought you’d be.

Check the way

all roads departed
from the ones
that led you here.

Check the dreams

that lie behind you
on dead-end tracks
that beckoned clear.

Check what’s left

what’s left inside you
fragments now
remaining here.

Check the road

that lies before you
grows emptier
each passing year.

No choices left
no ‘Dreams This Way’ signs
narrow road
till this life ends,
you realise
with grim foreboding
you’re headed now
where karma sends.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF

I decided
to make a list
of all the things
I like
about myself
these days,
taking into account
my looks,
personality,
good points,
achievements,
and status.
So here’s
the list :
GOD HAS BEEN SACKED

In an amazing
turn of events today
and in view
of all
the recent
tornadoes, floods
famines and wars,
God has been sacked
as Ruler of Earth.
Looking at
God’s record
over several
million years
and taking
into account
such things as
the fate of the dinosaurs,
the extinction
of other species,
the dangerously
unstable state
of the planet,
all engineered
by God
and also
what mankind
has suffered
from day one,
the Inner Council
of Heaven
has decided
that God
should step down.
He’s received
plenty of warnings
in the past
but none
have had
any effect.
Lucifer
has been appointed
as the new
Ruler of Earth.
After all
how much worse
can he make it?
FROM DAHMER

I will
take you home.
I will
snuff you out.
I will
eat your flesh.
I will
steal your soul.
You are
mine forever.
You will
never leave me.
I am
Dahmer.
MESSAGE TO FAT BASTARDS

I have a message
for all you
obscene fat bastards
out there.
When the new laws
come into force,
you’re all goin
on a special diet.
It goes
like this :
there are no calories
in a fuckin bullet.
You’re all gettin
one each.
Just for
the hell of it,
you’ll be shot
thru the mouth.
Exceptional cases
will be given
a gastric band….
tightened slowly
round the neck.
I WILL TEACH YOU EVIL

You serial killers

you eaters of flesh
you slayers of souls
you amateurs.

You Stalins
you Hitlers
you Saddams
you beginners.

I approve
of your work
so far
but you still
have so much more
to learn.

Come to me
to Lucifer
come to me
and I will really
teach you
Evil.
THERE IS A LIGHT

I have been
stumbling through
this dark tunnel
a long time now.
It’s cold
it’s dark
it’s empty.
Feels like
I’ve been here
forever.
Suddenly
I see
a pinprick
of light
away
in the distance.
My heart lifts
my hope lifts
at last
there is a light
at the end
of the tunnel.
I stumble on
encouraged,
as the light
slowly gets stronger.
I smile
then see
it’s the headlight
of an oncoming train.