HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Breaking Free Part 1 Rick Warren Feb.

17-18, 2007 God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. Ps. 147:3 (NCV)

STEPS IN GODS HEALING PROCESS 1. ADMIT MY HURTS. I kept very quiet but I became even more upset. I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned. Ps. 39:2-3 (NCV) When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me. I moaned all day long. Ps. 32:3 (NCV) Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16 (NIV)

2. RELEASE THOSE WHOVE HURT ME. Never pay back evil for evil. Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for He has said that He will repay those who deserve it. Rom. 12:17+19 (LB) "When Jesus suffered, He did not threaten to get even; He left His case in the hands of God... 1 Pet. 2:23 (LB) a bitter spirit is not only bad in itself but can also poison the lives of many others. Heb. 12:15 (Ph)

3. REPLACE OLD TAPES WITH GODS TRUTH. ...let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Rom. 12:2b (NLT) "...through what Christ would do for us, God decided to make us holy in His eyes, without a single fault-- we stand before Him covered with His love. Eph. 1:4 (LB)

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS 4. REFOCUS ON THE FUTURE. Put your heart right, reach out to Godthen face the world again, firm and courageous. Then all your troubles will fade from your memory, like floods that are past and remembered no more. Job 11:13-16 (GN) Look straight ahead with honest confidence; dont hang your head in shame. Pr. 4:25 (GN)

5. RECEIVE SUPPORT FROM MY SMALL GROUP. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Eccl. 4:12 (NLT) Encourage each other and strengthen one another. 1 Th. 5:11 (GW) You should be like one big family, full of sympathy toward each other... 1 Peter 3:8a (LB)

6. REACH OUT TO HELP OTHERS. God comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. 2 Cor. 1:4 (NCV) If a person is trapped in some sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself; you also may be tempted. Carry each others burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ. Gal. 6:1-2 (NIV) Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new! 2 Cor. 5:17 (CEV)

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HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Rick Warren Feb. 17-18, 2007 Good morning everybody! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your love and care and prayers and notes for the past couple weeks. My brother died a couple weeks ago and that was a really big hit to me. We were extremely close. I miss my brother and I watched God work in his life. He was a prodigal who came back to the Lord. Very successful. Many of you know he was with the 49ers, had four super bowl rings. He lived a pretty amazing life. As a college student he helped write a program for a little company called Mastercard. A lot of different things. I miss him but I thank you for your prayers and concerns. A couple of really good news about people at Saddleback. Brian __________whos been a member here for a really long time, whos produced Touched By An Angel episodes. He just recently had a movie come out The Last Sin Eater. Be looking for that movie. Done by somebody here at Saddleback church. Another good news about a Saddleback member. Sabrina Sloan who grew up here at Saddleback, sang on this stage for years, later got married. I did her wedding. Shes been chosen as one of the twelve women on American Idol. So this week you will vote one thousand times. Dont even think of coming back to church next week if you havent voted for Sabrina at least a thousand times this week. We want her to go all the way. Shes an amazing, amazing young woman. I want to begin with a health quiz today. How many of you have ever had a broken bone? How many have ever had stitches? How many of you have ever had more than thirty stitches? How many of you with thirty stitches would come up here on stage and show them to us? Im not going to ask where, but how many of you have ever had a knife wound? Kitchen, dark alley Anybody ever been shot? Had a gun shot wound. Any of you been wounded in a war? God bless you! Thank you for serving your country! Today I want to talk about a different kind of wound. How God heals our hidden wounds. What are our hidden wounds? Our hidden wounds are the memories, resentments, regrets, worries, fears, compulsions that we have from our past. Memories of abandonment. Memories of abuse. Memories of criticism. Of ridicule. Of pain. Of rejection. Of prejudice. Where do you get hidden wounds? You get them from everywhere. You can get them from the schoolyard. Little kids can be quite mean, cant they? They say, Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Thats a lie. Names hurt worse than sticks and stones. You dont remember physical pain. But you remember emotional ones. Some of you still remember things that were said to you as a little kid and youve never forgotten it. You can get wounds from neighbors, from so-called friends. You can get them in the work place. You can get them from society. The wounds of prejudice. Maybe youve been prejudiced against because of your accent or the language that you speak or your ethnic background. Or the color of your skin. Or maybe youve had prejudice against you because you were a woman. And that hurt. And it hurt deeply.

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS But the deepest wounds of all come from our own families. They come from parents. They come from partners. They come from Exs. They come from brothers and sisters and from children. They hurt deeply. Ive been a pastor for many, many years and I know a few things are true. One, everybody has hidden wounds. Everybody. You have hidden wounds. Those hidden wounds are harder to heal than physical wounds. Physical wounds heal much faster. I also know that you can be very, very beautiful and very successful and very wealthy on the outside and be crumbling on the inside from hidden wounds. Two years ago I was invited to be the chaplain of Live Eight, the global rock concert for poverty and disease and AIDS. Kay and I and a team flew back to Philadelphia, one of the seven sites around the world. Over a million people were at this rock concert. I was there and one of the things they asked me to do was do a press conference to explain why they were doing Live Eight to raise money for poverty. There was press there and maybe a couple hundred cameras and I got up to talk about poverty and disease and AIDS. I dont think anybody was paying attention. But when I finished I walked off stage to hand the microphone to a stunning celebrity who was coming up next. She was gorgeous. When I handed her the microphone they said she wouldnt need it because she would take no questions and she would make no speech. She was simply going to pose. Thats all she was going to do. So she walked to the stage and for about two minutes just posed. Kind of cheesecake, sexy poses. Now the cameras were flashing! I stood off to the side of that stage and I thought, Yeah, shes beautiful but shes a deeply wounded soul. Her name was Anna Nicole Smith. And she died this week. You can be beautiful and successful and wealthy and still be wounded on the inside. The good news is that God wants to heal your wounds. In fact, thats why youre here this morning. I dont believe that youre here by accident. I prayed that God would bring the right people today to hear this message. God wanted you to hear this one. The Bible says this in Psalm 147 God heals the brokenhearted and He bandages their wounds. How does He do that? How does God heal my hidden hurts? Years ago I did a series on the names of God. The Hebrew names of God. Throughout the Old Testament, God often calls Himself by different names to show a different character aspect. He says, I am Jehovah Shalom. I am your peace. He says, I am Jehovah Jireh. I am your provider. One of my favorites is where He says in Hebrew I am Jehovah Rophe, I am your healer. God wants to heal you of your hidden hurts, the things you cant seem to forget. How does He do that? Were going to look at the process today. When you look at the life of Christ and you see that Jesus healed many, many people. Not just physically but emotionally. You see certain patterns emerge. Not always in the same order but you see these elements. Today I want to identify for you these six elements of how God can set you free from your past and heal you from both your resentments and your regrets, your shame and your insecurities. 2

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Heres the first step. 1. I must admit my hurt. Youre never going to get well until you face your feelings straight on. Holding on to a hurt is like taking a hot coal inside of your heart. Its going to burn you up on the inside. A lot of people say, If I just hold on, its ok. Time heals everything. That is a lie, friends. Time heals nothing. If you have cancer, time doesnt make your cancer better. It makes it worse. If you are dying because a limb has been severed youre not going to get better by time. Youre going to get worse. There has to be some surgery involved. If time heals everything, you could just set in the doctors office and never see the doctor. Think about that one! Psalm 39, David says this, I kept very quiet but I became even more upset. I became very angry inside and as I thought about it my anger burned. Hes thinking about his hidden wounds. Hes thinking, That person hurt me. And I dont like it. In fact, I hate them. Im ticked off at what they did to me and I dont like it. The more he held it inside he said, The angrier I got. People respond to hidden wounds in many different ways. But most people just clam up. Thats like taking a coke bottle and shaking it up. One day its going to pop. You cant just take it in because hidden wounds feaster. Some of you are tired, all the time. Youre fatigued. Youre worn out. You drag through the days. Youre sick and tired of being sick and tired. The reason why is, youre using up all your emotional energy on the past. You then spend so much of your time resenting and regretting, thinking about that person who hurt you, thinking about getting even and all your energy is focused on the past. Thats using up emotional energy so you have no energy to get on with your life. Its emotionally draining. The Bible says this in Psalm 32, When I kept things to myself I felt weak deep inside me and I moaned all day long. Some of you are doing that. You feel weak all the time. Why? Because youre holding on to these emotional hurts. And they may have happened years ago or they may have happened six months ago. But theyre pulling you down. As I said, some people try to forget it. They repress it, push it down, push it down. Some people try to avoid it, some people try to ignore it. Its no big deal. Some people try to minimize it. Some people try to escape from their pain. In fact, a lot of people do. Our society is built on escaping pain. People do it all different ways. Moving from relationship to relationship, from bed to bed to bed. Thinking maybe this will be the answer to fill the emptiness in my heart. Some people use medication. Prescription drugs. Some people use illicit drugs. Some people fill their minds with television. Or food. Or hobbies. Or sports. Or they keep themselves so busy that I want to wear myself out. The reason youre a workaholic is because you dont want to have to stop and think. And when you put your head down at night you want to fall right to sleep because you dont want to have to think about the pain that will not go away. 3

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Friend, Im sorry for your pain. There is an answer. Im going to share it with you today. But the answer must start with youve got to own up to it. You must reveal it. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. Its the first step. I must reveal or admit my hurts. None of these other things work covering it up, ignoring it, escaping it and things like that. You just have to be honest. Honest with who? Honest with three people. First youve got to be honest with God. Then youve got to be honest with yourself. Then youve got to be honest with at least one person that you trust. You go, I can do the first two but I dont like the third one. Then good luck. Because youre not going to get well. Youve got to do all three. First youve got to be honest with God. God, life sucks. God, Im in pain. God, its not fair. God can handle your anger. He can handle it. He was weeping there when you were weeping. When He saw that abuse, that pain, that experience you went through, that shame. He was there weeping. You just be honest to God. He already knows it. But its cathartic. Its cleansing to admit it. Just admit it to God. Then you be honest with yourself. This hurts. Its not minimizing it. This hurts. Then you be honest with at least one other person. Its absolutely essential. Youre not going to get well on your own. James 5:16 says this Confess your sin to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. You want to be healed? There it is. Notice it doesnt say, Confess your sins to a priest. Thats ok but thats not what its saying. It doesnt say confess your sins to a pastor. Thats ok but thats not what its saying. It doesnt say confess your sins to a therapist. Thats ok but thats not what its saying. It says, to each other. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. Whenever Im out on the patio and somebody comes up to me and says, Pastor Rick, Ive just got to get this off my chest. Ive never told this to anybody When they say that phrase I start to get hopeful inside. Because I know it doesnt matter what theyre going to say. Its really irrelevant. What theyre about to say is theyre going to release it. And theyre going to experience liberation for the very first time. Freedom. Like opening the closet and letting the bogeyman out and somebody else knows and theyre not carrying it on their own. That in itself is the first step in healing. I get very excited about that. Those things that you held on to. That secret, youre only as sick as your secrets. That thing that youre embarrassed by, that you resent. You need to tell somebody about it. Somebody you trust. If you dont have anybody you could tell me. In the last couple of services I told me, At the end of the service get out a card and if you have a secret you have never shared with anybody else you need to share it with somebody. You can write it on the back of the card. And if you write C on that card only three people will see it. Pastor John Baker who leads our Celebrate Recovery, Pastor Tommy Hilliker who runs our counseling program and me, Pastor Rick. I asked Tommy and John to pull out all the cards before they go for processing that have C on them so nobody else will see it. The three of us will pray for you. Thats what pastors do. 4

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Pastor means shepherd. That means we comfort, we counsel, we guild, we help. You need to tell somebody. Already hundreds and hundreds of people have done that. Thats the first step. I must admit my hurt. Heres the second step 2. I must release my offender. I must release those who have hurt me. The people who wounded me, Ive got to let it go. You cant get well as long as you have resentment in you heart. For your own sake, for your own sake, youve got to let go of the right to get even. Let me explain this again. You only have a certain amount of emotional energy. X amount. Youve got to decide whether youre going to use your emotional energy to get even or to get well. You dont have enough energy to do both. You have to decide do I want to get well, get healthy, get happy, get whole. Or do I want to get even? I highly recommend that you focus on the get well. Because having helped thousands of people through this step I can tell you even if you could get even it will not take away your pain. Even if you could get even with that person or those people who hurt you its not going to take away your pain. Theres only one way that can take away your pain. Forgiveness. Offering forgiveness and asking forgiveness. Forgiveness is the only way to get emotionally healthy. There is no other way. You forgive not because they deserve it. You say, They dont deserve it! Who said anybody deserved it? Do you deserve Gods forgiveness? No. Forgiveness has nothing to do with fairness or being deserved. Its just offered. You forgive for your own sake because youve got to let it go. As your pastor who loves you, some of you the thing that God wants to say to you is simply this let it go. Youve got to let it go. Youve got to let them off the hook. How do you do that? By forgiveness. They dont deserve to be forgiven! Neither do you for the things youve done. Nobody deserves forgiveness. But you do it because you want to get on with your life. Romans 12 Never pay back evil for evil. [circle never] Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. [Underline that! He says you dont do it, you leave it to God.] For He has said He will repay those who deserve it. The reason why we hold on to the past is we forget that God saw everything that hurt us. Where was God when you were hurting? He was weeping. He was in the same place He was when He saw His Son being crucified on the cross. Weeping. What happens is when we forget that God sees the pain we go through then we act as if its our responsibility to even the score. It is not your responsibility. That is Gods. And God says You let Me handle it. You let Me balance the books. You dont avenge yourself. I will take care of it. Who can do a better job, you or God? Of avenging. Hes got a lot more things in His arsenal for evening the store. He says, Either you can try to do it on your own and youre going to fail. Or you can let Me do it. Heres the reason why you hold on to resentment. You think if you stop remembering the hurt that they will get away with it. Thats really what youre thinking. The point of that is youre 5

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS wrong. Theyre not going to get away with it. Because God saw it. God saw it and God will even the score. So you can forget it and get on with your life. Jesus Christ certainly understands abuse. Did you see the movie The Passion. He understood abuse. How was Jesus wounded? He was wounded every way possible. He was wounded in His head. They crushed a crown of thorns onto His skill. He was wounded in his hands and feet. They nailed Him to a cross. He was wounded in His side when they stuck the spear into His side. He was wounded on His back where they gave forty lashes with a cat of nine tails. You can imagine how ripped up His back was with that. Forty times nine. But the deepest wounds of Jesus were not physical wounds. They were the hidden wounds. The wounds of betrayal. The wounds of rejection. The wounds of hatred. Of humiliation. The wounds of prejudice. The wounds of taking all the sins of the world on Him. The wounds of taking that guilt and shame and abuse and injustice. If youve ever experienced any of those Jesus says, Been there. I understand. I know what its like to be rejected. I know what its like to be humiliated. I know what its like to be mistreated. I know what its like. So He understands and when you hurt, God is God who always understands because Hes been there. Hes experienced it Himself. So what do you do? I suggest you do what Jesus Christ did. In 1 Peter 2 When Jesus suffered, He did not threaten to get even, but He left His case on the hands of God. Even Jesus who was the Son of God did not blow them away. He could have. He could have snapped His fingers and a billion angels show up and annihilate everybody when He was on the cross. But He didnt do it. He leaves it to God the Father in heaven. He says, Father, forgive them. They dont know what theyre doing. Father, forgive them. He says Im not going to let this make Me bitter. Im going to forgive them? Why in the world should I forgive the people who hurt me? First place, youve been forgiven by God. In the second place youre going to need more forgiveness in the future and you dont want to burn the bridge youve got to walk over to get into heaven. In the third place, unforgiveness doesnt work. Youre only hurting yourself with your resentment. As I said many times, some of you are allowing people from your past to continue to hurt you in the present through your memory of them. And thats stupid. People cannot hurt you unless you allow them to continue to hurt you. Your past is past. Its over. But if you continue to hold on to it, guess what? Then you continue to hold the resentment and they continue to hurt you. Notice what the Bible says in Hebrews 12, A bitter spirit is not only bad in itself but it can also poison the lives of many others. Its the root of bitterness. Did you know that resentment poisons everybody around you whether you like it or not? It never hurts the person youre resentful against. Youre seething and theyre going on with their life. Theyre not even paying attention to you. Theyve blown it off. Theyve forgotten it. But its making you miserable and its making everybody else around you miserable too that you love. Some of you have been hurt by another man and youre taking it out on your husband. Or youve been hurt by another woman and youre taking it out on your wife. Thats dumb. You are killing your marriage. 6

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Did you know that resentment can actually be passed on generationally? Some of you had a very bitter dad. He was angry and he was hurt. He was full of bitterness. And it spewed out on you and you became a bitter person. And you will pass it on to your kids and their kids if you dont break the chain generational bitterness. You can actually pass it on. You have to say, This is madness. Im not going to infect another generation. Im going to break the chain right now. I will not allow my past or my parents past to influence my kids or my grandkids and on and on. Youve got to let it go. Why? Because theres a law in the universe that whatever you resent you eventually begin to resemble. What I resent I will eventually resemble. We always move toward whatever we focus on. You say, Im never going to be like my mother! Oh yeah? Guess what? The more you focus on what you dont want the more you move toward it. Its like, Im not going to eat those cookies! And what am I doing? Im focusing on the cookies the whole time. Whatever you focus on catches your attention. The way you get released from the past is not by saying, Im not going to remember it any more. Not! Not! Not! That doesnt work. The only way you can forget something is by refocusing on something else. When you dont like a TV channel you dont set there going, I dont like that! No. You just change the channel. Nobodys forcing you. Nobodys forcing you to remember the past. Happiness is a choice. You are as happy as you choose to be. Stop blaming other people. Who are you blaming for your unhappiness? (If just this didnt happen!) Ive been around the world. I went around the world this last year and Ive seen people in far worse circumstances than you. And they were happy. Why? Because happiness is a choice. Youre as happy as you choose to be. But youve got to let it go. Youve got to break the chain. First, I reveal my hurt. I admit it. Second, I release my offender those whove hurt me. 3. I replace old lies with Gods truth. I replace old lies, the tapes I play in my mind, with Gods truth. We know from lots of scientific research that you never really forget anything. That everything youve seen, heard, tasted, touched, or smelled is stored in your brain. Scientists can take a probe and they can probe different parts of your brain and immediately bring that memory back. You never really forget anything. Its all there. You just dont recall it. The thing about the mind is that the unconscious cannot distinguish between real experiences and imaginary or virtual experiences. For instance, in your mind, your conscious doesnt distinguish between something you watched on TV or in the movie and something that actually happens to you. That really messes you up. Especially now that weve got virtual reality. Thats why if you think it happened or if you think its true whether its true or not youll still get a bodily reaction. If you think theres a rapist in the closet youre palms are going to get sweaty, youre going to get an adrenaline rush, youre going to go into an alert state even though its not real. Because your mind does not know the difference between real and unreal in its reaction.

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS You put all kinds of garbage into your mind, thats whats going to come out. So you must replace old tapes with new truths. When you were a child people said things to you and because you were a child and they were an adult and they represented authority you believed it. But they were wrong. People said things to you that youve been playing over and over, things like, Youre not very coordinated. Youre never going to be good at math. Youll always have to struggle with your weight. Nobody really likes you. Youre shy. You dont really have much to offer. Why cant you be like youre brother. Im embarrassed by you. and on and on an on. Those people were lying. The truth will set you free. God teaches you the truth. Gods word is the truth. If you want to be healed from the past memories of your life you have to replace the old tapes that people have said things to you with Gods word and Gods truth in your heart. Romans 12:2, Let God transform you into a new person. [Id like that. How?] By changing the way you think. The way you think determines the way you feel which determines the way you act. How do you change the way you think? The Bible says be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. How do you do that? First, you ask God to heal your memories. God, I need You to heal these memories. They hurt so bad. Those memories of rejection. Those memories of sin. Those memories of resentment. Those memories of guilt. Those memories of abuse. And those hateful words. God, I need You to heal my memories. Then second, you fill your mind with Gods word. And the more of this you put in the more it pushes out the garbage and replaces it. Its a replacement strategy. Let me ask you, how many of you believe everything you hear on the radio? I knew you were smarter than that. How many of you believe everything you watch on TV? Or read in the newspaper? How many of you believe everything you see at the movies? How many of you believe that everything God tells you is the truth? Why do we spend more time reading and listening and watching stuff we dont believe than something we do? Its not rocket science, folks. I know some people, youll go home this afternoon and youll spend an hour reading the paper. But you wouldnt spend an hour reading the Bible. Why do we spend more time reading what we dont believe than something we do? I know people who wont go to bed without watching their favorite TV show. But they wouldnt think of reading the Bible for ten minutes a day. This is truth. Its soul food for your soul. And the more you fill your mind with it, the more youre going to get well. You believe what God says about you. Thats the key. You stop believing what others have said, what society says, what the world has said, what the peer groups have said, what culture said. And you believe what God has said. What does God say about you? Thats a whole other series. But one verse in Ephesians 1:Through what Christ would do for us [thats dying for your sins on the cross] God decided to make us holy in His eyes without a single fault. [Did you know if youve trusted Christ, God looks at you without a single fault, not perfect but faultless.] We stand before Him, covered with His love.

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Ten years ago I did a series on grace about ten weeks. One week we did a message on healing grace. Thats where the song Healing Grace came from. Rick Muchow wrote that song for that message. I talked about what God says about you. We went through scripture. God says I am lovable. I am valuable. I am forgiveable. I am capable. I am acceptable. Thats what God says about you. Who are you going to believe? What your parents or your boyfriend or your Ex said about you? Or are you going to believe what God said? God says you are valuable, you are acceptable. You are capable. You are forgiveable. You are lovable. You are usable. Youve got to decide who youre going to believe about you. God or the world. The world or the word. Am I going to believe God or gossip? Its really your choice. You replace old lies with Gods truth. Psychologists have told us for years that your self-esteem comes from what you think the most important person in your life thinks about you. The way you see yourself to a large degree comes from what you think the most important person in your life thinks about you. Ladies, guys I recommend you make Jesus Christ the most important person in your life. Because He says you are lovable, you are valuable, you are capable, you are forgiveable, you are acceptable, you are usable. God wants to use you to make a difference in the world. You believe what He says about you. Heres the fourth step. I admit my hurt, I reveal my hurts. I release my offender, I let them go. I replace the old tapes with Gods truth. 4. I refocus on the future. This is the fourth step to healing your hidden wounds. You must refocus on the future. That means you get your attention off the past and onto Gods purpose for your future. This is the danger of many therapies. Some of you are seeing counselors. Thats a good thing. You ought to if you need some help a therapist. But if theyre not a Christian and theyre not building their therapy around the truth of Gods word, they may actually be harming you and you may actually be getting worse. I have seen therapists destroy marriages. And Ive seen therapists destroy lives. Many therapies today are regressive. That means theyre so totally focused on the past. You just dig deeper and deeper and deeper into the past. What does that do? Thats like trying to drive a car looking into the rear view mirror. Youre going to crack up. Youre actually getting worse. And youre getting more dependent by constantly looking at the past. One of the things I love about Celebrate Recovery is that its forward oriented. It says yeah that was my past but my past is past. This is my future. And you move forward. God tells us real clearly how to get rid of painful memories in His word. Heres the Biblical approach. Job 11, three things to do. Put your heart right, reach out to God, then face the world again firm and courageous. [Thats the three things. Put your heart right, reach out to God, face the world again firm and courageous.] Then all your troubles will fade from your memory like floods that are past and remembered no more. Notice the three steps to refocusing your life. Heres how God says to do it. He obviously knows how.

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS First He says put your heart right. That means you do the right thing. Whether that other person does the right thing or not. Whether they ask for forgiveness or not. Whether you ever get their approval or not. It doesnt really matter. You dont need their approval to be happy. If you havent got it by now youre probably not going to get it. You dont need it in order to be happy. It says, you put your heart right. That means you do the right thing regardless of what your ex or your husband or your dad or your mom or whoever it was that hurt you did; you do the right thing. What is the right thing? You forgive them. You say, I dont feel like it. Grow up! So you dont feel like it. Grow up. Maturing is when you do the right thing whether you feel like it or not. People who do only what they feel like doing, theres a word for that immaturity. Immature people just do whatever they feel like doing. Mature people do the right thing whether they feel like it or not. Thats maturity. So you put your heart right. You release, you forgive and you do the right thing. Second, you reach out to God. If you want to get rid of your painful memories you reach out to God. You need to invite Jesus Christ into every room in the house of your heart. Some of you, youve invited Christ into the front door but Hes still standing there in the foyer. You need to invite Jesus Christ into every room in your heart. You need to say, Jesus Christ, I invite You into the bedroom of my heart where I have many painful memories in that bedroom. Jesus Christ, I invite You into the kitchen and the dining room of my heart. There are many painful memories in that dining room. Jesus Christ, I invite You into the living room of my heart and into the garage of my heart where I have many painful memories. Youre not going to get well if you just live Him in the foyer. You need to not just say, Yeah Jesus, come into my life. Come into every area of my life, God, and fill it with Your love and Your peace. Thats how Im going to get well. Reach out to God and you ask Him to heal your hidden wounds. Then you ask Jesus Christ to bring good out of evil, which He will. The question really is one that was asked Jesus one day. He walks by a man whos been paralyzed, crippled, for years. Jesus looks at him and says, Do you want to get well? That sounds like kind of a dumb question. Do you want to get well? But a lot of people really dont want to get well. You might not want to get well. Because it gives you the excuse to blame other people for your unhappiness. It allows you to play the victim role which some of you are quite good at. You say, I dont want to get well because if I got well I cant blame that person any more for the screw ups in my life. I have to take responsibility. So I dont know whether I want to get well or not. I like playing the victim. Its actually convenient for me to blame all my problems on somebody else. Its scary to get well. Youve got to be willing to accept responsibility and say, Im not a victim any more. I am not a victim. I can choose to follow the will of God. I can choose to follow Christ. I can choose to invite Him into my heart. I dont have to be unhappy. Its a choice. You start looking ahead.

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HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Face the world again, thats the third thing. That means you dont withdraw. You dont pull back into a shell. You dont build up walls and say, I will never let another man/woman ever hurt me, and you pull back. Thats not the way to live. Thats existing. So you put your heart right. You reach out to God. You face the world again. And notice the benefit. Then your troubles will fade from memory. Wouldnt you like that? The principle is the way you forget is by refocusing. You refocus on something better and it causes you to forget the bad. Look straight ahead with honest confidence. Dont hang your hand in shame. My past is not my future. I dont care what youve done, who youve done it with, how long youve done it, where youve done it. You may have been unfaithful, you may have had an abortion, you may have gambling debts. So what? It doesnt matter where youve been. It matters where youre headed. Face the world again. With Christ your past is not your future. Heres the fifth step and this one is as important as all the other ones. 5. Receive support from my small group. Thats why we have small groups in this church. Because its a biblical principle. Receive support from my small group. This is absolutely certain, essential if youre going to get well. Some of you are thinking as Ive been talking, Rick, Ive got a habit I want to get rid of. Its been a secret. Pornography. I had an abortion. Im a compulsive stealer. Im a compulsive check bouncer. Something Im so ashamed of Ok. I understand your shame. But you dont have to stay there. Theres a thing called grace. Grace is God saying I will cover it and I will forgive it and I will forget it and youve got to get on with your life. You say, Id like to get rid of that habit, that compulsion, that addiction, that problem, that anger that I just cant seem to let go of. But I dont want to tell anybody about it. Good luck. You can go home right now. Because youre not going to get well. I dont know how to say this any clearer. You cannot get well on your own. God wired the universe that we need each other. It is through humility we get well. Not through pride. When Im arrogant and I dont want anybody to know but everybody knows already nobodys perfect. Then thats saying Im prideful. The Bible says God resists the proud and I dont want to be against God but He gives grace to the humble. I want grace. Grace is what I need to change. It is the power to change. How do you get Gods grace to change? By being humble. That means by admitting it. If youre a perfect person, please go find another church. We dont want you here because we know youre a liar. This is the place that for twenty-seven years, Saddleback has been a place of unconditional love for people who have messed up problems. There is no sin we dont have in this church family. In a church this size weve got hundreds of people doing everything. Dont look at them! Weve got people who struggle with homosexuality in this church. Weve got people who struggle with compulsions and addictions in this church. Weve got people who are sex addicts. Weve got people who are chronic liars, chronic you name it! So what! Were 11

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS under the grace of God. This is the place for people who want to grow. But you only grow if youre willing to own up to it. If youre willing to be honest. Thats what I love about Celebrate Recovery. Weve got over 7500 people in Celebrate Recovery with every possible problem and hurt you can imagine. The Bible says this in Ecclesiastes 4, A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated. But two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better for a triple braided cord is not easily broken. God says hidden wounds only get healed with the support of others. Youre never going to get well on your own. The best place is in a small group in a loving church family like Saddleback. Thats why they can encourage you and they can support you and they can spur you on and they can keep you going when you feel like giving up. Thats why we have 3300 plus small groups in this church that meet on a weekly basis in well over a hundred cities in southern California. Two weeks ago when my brother died it took the wind out of me. I loved my brother. We were very, very close. Hes just a few years older than me and it was a real shock. They found him in bed passed away. But I had a group that Ive been a part of. My small group well over six years, moving on seven years. Those people Ive walked them through stuff and theyve walked me through stuff and they were there when I needed them. Im glad I already had the six-year relationship with them before the rough winds came. Because then they were ready to help me. You need a group. The Bible says this in 1 Thessalonians 5, Encourage each other and strengthen one another. That is not a suggestion, friend, thats a command. One day youre going to stand before God and Hes going to say, Did you do that? Who did you get close to in the body of Christ, in the family of God? Who did you strengthen when they were down? Who did you encourage when they were down? At Saddleback weve got many opportunities for support. If youre not a member at Saddleback, what are you waiting on? You need to take one of these cards and on the back check, I want to join Saddleback. Take Class 101 as thousands and thousands of people have and say, Im not just going to be a spectator. Im going to be a participator in this church. Im not just going to be a consumer. Im going to be a contributor. This is going to be my family. Join our church family. Step across the line. Then get in a small group. Theres one in your area. Or well help you start one. You can check on the back of the card: couples group, singles group, mens group, womens group, whatever. If you have some kind of special need, if you say I need special help with a habit, a hurt or a hang-up then you come to Celebrate Recovery on Friday night. Just show up and get loved. As I said, in a church this size every sin known to man is there. But heres what the Bible says in 1 Peter 3 about the church. You should be like one big family, full of sympathy toward each other. Thats what we do. Friends dont walk out. They walk in to your life when you need them. Friends dont rub it in, they rub it out. Thats what the church family is all about. Im going to talk about this more next week. I want you to repeat this after me: I really, really, really need a small group. If youre not in one this is your day. You sign up. I want you to hear Jannas testimony. 12

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Janna: I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma, the youngest of five children. I dont think my parents wanted children. It seems to me they needed workers for the farm. I learned how to work hard which served me later in life. I worked from sunrise till after sunset some times, seven days a week. Except Sunday mornings for church. I felt like a slave trapped and hopeless. As a young girl I attended church every time the doors were open at least three times a week. Every time we went to church I longed for someone to see the hidden wounds I felt deep inside and to rescue me from my own private hell. I spent most of my childhood in isolation. On the outside my family seemed like a wholesome church going family. But reality was much different. As a child I lived in great fear. Things happen when people live in isolated places that would never happen if other people were around. My father was full of anger and rage and he sexually abused me and my three older sisters for several years. He was also very brutal. He tortured me in unimaginable ways and then he laughed at my terror. When I was twelve years old I told him I was going to tell someone and he tried to kill me. I became a Christian around ten years old. As a young girl I was really conflicted about God. I thought He was kind and caring but I was also taught that He was punishing. I often wondered if some of the horrible things happening to me were some form of Gods punishment for some small sin that I had committed. I didnt understand why God wouldnt stop the abuse. I felt like I wasnt worthy of His attention. There was no one that loved me or I felt like I could trust, not even God. When I was sixteen I met a boy that really cared about me and I was very excited about the positive attention and felt so special. Soon he wanted to have sex. I actually didnt know that I had a choice, that I had the option to say no. And I got pregnant at sixteen. My parents allowed us to get married right away but not in our church because the people would soon know that I had to. I was such a disgrace to my family. They even refused to attend my wedding. Thats when I decided to quit going to church. Talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire, my new husband was physically abusive. So my hidden wounds just kept getting deeper. Our daughter was born the summer between my last two years of high school. I completed my senior year and worked at night to help pay the bills. When my daughter was one year old my husband kicked her across the room. I finally got up the courage to leave him. But still my life felt incomplete. Something was missing in my life. While I was on a business trip in New Jersey I met a wonderful man from California and we fell in love. I moved to California when we got married and thought that this was the love I had been waiting for and would make my life complete. We began attending Saddleback church. With no friends in California I found myself turning more and more to God. Especially as we faced many challenges in our marriage and I started to wonder if Id made another foolish mistake. But I sensed God telling me to just hang in there and assuring me that He had a plan for my life. I decided to attend Saddlebacks Celebrate Recovery one Friday night, not sure I really fit in but I thought it was really worth a try. Besides it got me out of the house one night a week. 13

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS I thought I had a pretty strong relationship with God but as I worked the spiritual growth step of the program I grew even closer to Him. And going through a step study group helped me look at my life from Gods perspective. I realized that Jesus was the only one who could fill that emptiness and heal my hidden wounds. I started to believe that just maybe my idea of God had been wrong and had gotten mixed up with my feelings about my father who had hurt me so much. The hardest thing for me was to trust God completely. You may identify with that. Trust is a huge issue for anyone who grows up in an unsafe home. Youre afraid to trust anyone. Even God. But in my insecurity I was also prideful thinking, Im a smart woman. I dont need anyone or anything to help me. The other barrier to healing my heart was unforgiveness. I still carried those hidden wounds. Fortunately here at Saddleback through Pastor Ricks messages and through Celebrate Recovery I learned about Gods amazing grace. Through Gods grace I experienced freedom and joy of forgiveness. I finally was able to forgive my father for the evil things he did to me. I was also able to forgive myself for not being the parent that my daughter needed. I asked forgiveness from God for the wrong ideas about Him that I had held on to and because of that I was able to let go of my bitterness and anger against God. That was a very liberating experience for me. When I finally let all my anger out, you know what God did? He loved me. He accepted my anger, understanding it. He didnt strike me down by lightning like I was afraid of. Instead I felt His loving arms around me and He told me He had been waiting and waiting and waiting for that moment of surrender and trust. Pastor Rick always says that God never wastes a hurt and Hell use your greatest hurts to help serve Him by helping others. I know Hes using my painful experiences of abuse and hidden wounds to help others. I have no doubt that my story is helping someone here right now. Even though I didnt realize it God has always been with me, weeping when I was weeping and waiting for me to really trust Him. Today I serve Jesus in many ways. Two years ago I went on my first Saddleback mission trip to Africa. The highlight was being asked to share my testimony with the people there. Since that time Ive watched God use me in ways that I could have never imagined. Ive now had the privilege of going on many mission trips. Ive had the joy of teaching the biblical principles of Celebrate Recovery to women in prisons in Kenya, to pastors in Uganda and church leaders in the Ukraine. One of the pastors that I got to help train has now started Celebrate Recovery in a refugee camp in Sudan. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that one day God would be using my experiences with hidden wounds to help people on the other side of the world. But as Pastor Rick says God loves to turn crucifixions into resurrections and bring good out of bad. Your pain may be different than mine but everyone has a hidden wound. Let me encourage you to take these steps that Pastor Rick is teaching about and join us this Friday night at Celebrate Recovery. Thank you. How do you know when youre being healed? How do you know when the process has started? Janna is example. You want to let God use you to help others with the things youve been ashamed of. You know that healing is taking place when you come to the sixth step and this is as important as the other five.

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HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS 6. Reach out to help others. We get well as we help others. You redeem your pain. You dont waste it. You use your experiences to help others. You let God bring good out of bad. God meant for us to help each other. The Bible says this in 2 Corinthians 1, God comforts us every time we have trouble so that when others have trouble we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. Of course Janna and thousands and thousand of people at Saddleback church family have been doing this for years. The Bible says this in Galatians 6, If a person is trapped in some sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. [Notice it doesnt say you who are perfect, otherwise no one would ever get restored. Spiritual just means youre headed in the right direction. It doesnt mean youre perfect.] But watch yourself. You also may be tempted. Carry each others burdens and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ. What is the law of Christ? Love your neighbor as yourself. How do you love your neighbor as yourself? When you use your pain to help others and you carry their burdens when theyre in pain. Heres the question: Do you want to start over? Do you want to get healed? Do you want to get free? Whole, happy, healthy? The Bible says this, Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person [that doesnt just mean youve invited Christ in the front door. You invite Him to come into every room in your life.] The past is forgotten. Everything is new. Theres a song called The River and it goes like this: It doesnt matter who you are. It doesnt matter where youve been. It doesnt matter what the scar. It doesnt matter what the sin. Somewhere along the way there is healing for you life today. He looks beyond how far youve gone. He looks beyond when you were hurt. He looks beyond who stole your song. He looks beyond what made it worse. He looks beyond where others failed to reach out to you and say there is healing for your life today. Theres a river that flows from the fountain of God and it heals everything along the way. I have tasted and I have known that for every broken heart there is healing in Jesus name. I know this from personal experience and Ive seen it in the lives of thousands of other people. But today is your day. Prayer: Im going to pray for you now. Then I want you to follow me in a prayer. Thank You, Father, that You can heal broken hearts and bitter memories and damaged self-esteem. I thank You that patterns can be erased. I thank You that they can be reversed. I thank You that You turn nobodys into somebody. Jesus, I ask You to ouch hurting hearts and minds with Your healing touch of love right now. Save people today. Now you pray. I say these words you say, Me too, God, in your heart. Jesus, I realize now that You see and feel all the pain that Ive felt and experienced. Youve seen the hurt and the resentment, the fear and the anger, the guilt, the shame, the insecurity. I desperately need your healing for my hidden wounds, my emotional scars. Today Jesus, my faith Im taking these steps that Rick just talked about. Help me to admit the things that have hurt me and the things that Im ashamed of. Youve seen them. Thank You for bringing me to a safe place called Saddleback where I can do this. Today I want to begin the healing process by asking You, Jesus Christ, to come into every room of the home of my heart. Im going to need Your help to stop focusing on getting even and instead focus on getting well. Jesus, 15

HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS Im going to need Your help and the help of others to release those whove hurt me and to replace the old tapes with Your truth. Im going to need Your help to refocus on the future. And Your plan and purpose for my life. I look forward to the day that I am so healed that Im able to help others the way Youre going to help me. Father, I realize that I need support so today I commit to joining a church family where I can receive and give support and become a part of a small group. In Your name I pray, Amen.

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