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Guarani News 466 PDF
Guarani News 466 PDF
3
I would love to know how this happened.
People in the News – Coming Events
Church Notices 4 From the Publisher
Taking a break…
The Humour Corner What with the thermometer going berserk (42ºC and it ain’t even
By Eduardo “Teddy” Abello 5 summer yet), rain pelting down when you least expect it and what is
worse, leastwise for old fogies like this scribe, the barometer went
Chile’s Ambassador receives standing ovation at and dropped below the 1000 mbar. mark (something that is very rare
Stranger’s Club Luncheon 7 in these parts and which causes me to feel like a discarded wet rag).
And you want me to write a column. Not likely. Here are a couple of
MAIL BAG 8 stories to make up the space.
Guaraní News Cover 9/10
Concerned Blonde
GUARANI News As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out
Founded in Asunción 21 October 1982 of her car, runs up to his truck and knocks on the door. The trucker
Depósito Legal Ley Nº 9.289 lowers the window, and she says: “Hi, my name is Heather and you
Publisher/Editor: Norman M. Langer are losing some of your load.”
c/o The Conqueror Group
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck
O’Leary 610 c/Gral. Diaz
Asunción - Paraguay stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out
Our Cellular for International calls: +(595-991) 724-217 of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
For local calls in Paraguay 0991-724-217 Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken,
E-Mail: stranger@highway.com.py the blonde says brightly: “Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing
ALTERNATIVE: guaraninews@click.com.py some of your load!”
All rights reserved. No part of GUARANI NEWS may be reproduced without permission from the Publisher. Opinions Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down
expressed by named authors do not necessarily coincide with those of the Editor.
The Editor will review any submission; however no responsibility is assumed for materials submitted. If you wish to be
the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out
removed from our listing, send E-mail to stranger@highway.com.py with the title REMOVE and accept our apologies of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, and knocks on the
2 GUARANI News - Friday, 4 December 2009
truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says: “Hi, my 1. Lawyers reproduce faster.
name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!” 2. The scientists don’t get attached to the lawyers.
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next 3. A lawyer will do things a rat wouldn’t even consider.
light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and
runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers Here is wishing one and all a most enjoyable weekend
it, he says “Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s winter and I’m driving the PEOPLE in the NEWS – COMING EVENTS
SALT TRUCK!” BIRTHDAYS
DECEMBER
Lawyers Are Replacing Rats O3 GARCIA REY, Angel
Have you heard they’re using lawyers instead of rats in laboratories 06 BERKEMEYER de ROBLES, Inés
these days? There are three reasons for this: 06 RAMIREZ, Dr. Lauro
More religious humour…this time it’s not children, but their grand- O’Higgins corner Del Maestro
parents! Edif. Galenos - 3rd Floor (Villa Morra)
This is a story about a popular young Rabbi who, on Sabbath Eve,
announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract. Call for appointment: 611.798 or 614.985
He explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will Direct: 614.920
pay him more. E-Mail: wijbeek@tigo.com.py
There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owns a couple of Toyota & Lexus dealerships in
the city stands up and proclaims: ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will provide
5 GUARANI News - Friday, 4 December 2009
Sadie’s 90 year old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding hisShe wakes up from her operation and finds three roses carefully placed
forehead with the palm of his hand & shaking his head from side to beside her bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor and
side while his wife replies: ’Well, I just asked my husband how we says: “I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!”
could help, and he said, “F… the Rabbi!’ “Don’t worry,” he says: “I didn’t tell anybody. The first rose is from
me. I felt bad because you went through this all by yourself. The
Three Roses second one is from the nurse. She assisted me with the operation, and
A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation because she had the operation done herself.”
her outer labia are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the “Who is the third rose from?” she asks.
operation a secret as she’s embarrassed and doesn’t want anyone to “Oh,” says the doctor: “that rose is from the guy upstairs in the burn
find out. The doctor agrees. unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!”
The BCC wishes you a very Merry Christmas and invites you
to the annual Christmas dinner to be held on Saturday the 5th.
of December at the ANGLO
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From L. to R.: Monsignor Amoury Medina Blanco; òò òò òò ñ þ
Oscar Birks and Architect Guillermo Hellmers. Good Food, Good Wine,
÷ ú ô ò ù ô òð õ ýý òò ö þñ ù
but most of all, Good Friends
Rubén Falcón (left) and Eng. Erwin Vargas Peña There will be door prizes, make sure you
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