The key to happiness

People every moment we long for happiness , we want to feel it inside us, above
situations, the environment, people ... Above all.
But sometimes it just seems like it's hard to be happy . We have heard around us
things like "life is hard", like "there is no complete happiness ", anyway.
The society has been responsible for vanishing our dream of being well in all areas
of life, for being happy every moment and living the most wonderful life we could
dream of.
Today, I want to reveal to you two absolute truths that you have probably ignored
lately:

1. You have spent your life listening to completely unhappy people, and you have not
looked for what those who are really happy say .
2. People tend to confuse happiness with joy.
First, it is very simple. Go and see the lives of those who say that there is
no complete happiness , analyze their day to day and realize that they are
unsuccessful, that they spend the hours doing what they do not love, what they are
not passionate about, that they live their lives any way, without any real goal that
brings them happiness .
Surely a person, rich and millionaire for example, will tell you that happiness is
absolutely possible, that quality of life is a point to which we can all reach, that we
only need to act in a certain way to achieve it, and that Within you is the power to
confirm it.
This only shows us that you, you have listened to the poor, full of failures and
frustrated dreams, NOT to the right people.

The second is even simpler. Joy is that feeling of satisfaction and pleasure in the
midst of some situation, because some stimulus has managed to impact our
perception and emotions to make us feel comfortable with what we live at a certain
time.

But without a doubt, joy is ephemeral, because just as today you are happy,
tomorrow your dog may die and you are crying with sadness.

For its part, happiness is a way of life, it is something that is felt without any
conditioning. You ARE happy, it's not that you're happy ... It's not for a few
moments, you just are.
Now, apart from these two previous points that are truths probably ignored by you,
you must know the real key to happiness .
Freedom

Freedom is the true key to happiness !

Freedom means being able to do whatever you want at any time of your life, it
means being who you want to be and where you want to be.

When you are free, your life is only what you want it to be, there is no one else
writing the pages for you because you have become the sole author of your story.

Freedom is aware that where the rights of others begin, you simply have to
stop. That is, your freedom will not lead to killing another, because inside you know
that it will tie you to a deep sentence ... If you do, it was not a product of freedom, it
was the product of brutality.

Only by being free, will you be able to enjoy every second of your time doing the
things that provide peace, being with the people that give you love, observing the
landscape that fills you with inspiration and smiling even for the smallest details of
life and nature.

If you really want to be happy, then free your soul, free your life from the pressures
that others have wanted to impose on you, free your spirit from the bonds of
paradigms, from limiting beliefs.
Your happiness does not depend on anyone other than you ... Live it!
 What is the Fundamental Key to Happiness?

When we understand the fundamental element of happiness and live by it, we will
be happy. What is it? What is the fundamental key to happiness? Though it may
seem very easy, finding the key to happiness can be one of life’s most difficult and
elusive tasks; yet it is possible.

First, let’s explore what causes suffering. Why do we suffer? Some time ago, I
worked with a woman who struggled with life. She was a wonderful person, but one
of the biggest sources of her unhappiness was her weight. She felt as though she
was too heavy and thus unattractive, and she was very self-critical of this fact. She
once related to me an episode that had occurred years ago when she and her
husband were out on a dinner date. Her husband made a comment about her
weight, which wasn’t kind. He immediately took it back and apologized profusely
for what he had said, but in her head, she kept hearing the hurtful remark over and
over. His words stayed in her mind, and unfortunately, she added to this barrage of
negativity by repeatedly commenting upon her own weight in very damaging ways.
Even though her husband had made the comment only once, ten years prior, his
words kept resonating in her brain, and his remark, along with her own negative
self-criticism, caused her great suffering.

We did not work on fixing what had happened because her husband truly was
sorry for what he had said and the hurtful event had occurred ten years earlier.
Instead, I helped her to discover that her suffering was coming from her own
thoughts. When she was thinking negative thoughts or making negative comments
about herself, she suffered. When I persuaded her to stop thinking these negative
thoughts and making these negative comments about herself and just to enjoy life,
her suffering was no more.

In over twenty-five years as a clinical psychologist, assisting people whose lives

are difficult, I have had clients that are struggling with very challenging situations.
Sometimes, a client needs my help immediately. Like many psychologists, from
time to time, I get calls from people who feel as if they are going to die and want
my help. So what do I do? Do I spend an hour on the phone with them? Do I drive
down to my office and meet them there immediately? No. Instead, I do the same
thing I have always done. I listen to the person and the situation he or she faces,
and then I ask them to go for a walk outside for half an hour to an hour, just
spending time outdoors in the fresh air. If after that time, at the end of the walk, the
person still feels upset, I say give me a call again. In my twenty-five years, I have
never received that second call! I have never had to hospitalize anyone.

Now why does this work? Why does going for a walk, spending time in nature,
work? It’s because all our suffering comes from our mind. Yes, we have painful
experiences, but there’s a difference between suffering from the stories in our head
and real pain. Pain is a physical or emotional sensation that we feel immediately,
and then it passes. Suffering is the story and the dialogue that accompanies the
pain, the thoughts we play over and over in our mind: “This is terrible. This hurts. Is
this going to last forever? Oh no, oh no, oh no!” That is suffering. Suffering is the
mental story that we create. When we stop the negative thoughts and we just be,
then all is well. Really, all is well. All our suffering stems from the harmful mental
stories that we create. Yes, we experience hard times, but those hard times are
manageable; challenging and difficult, yes, but manageable. There is no event or
situation we can’t handle as long as we learn not to react by creating a deleterious
inner commentary.

I have known people who have been incarcerated, people dying from cancer,
people severely deformed, and people suffering emotionally. Contrary to what one
might think, these people were all completely happy because they didn’t create a
negative mental story about what they were experiencing. They were doing
everything in their power to make their situations better, and just as important, they
were not allowing the events in their lives to keep them from loving life.

So, the key ingredients to achieving happiness are twofold, yet they are really two
faces of the same coin: mental stillness and being present.

When our minds are still, all is well. We don’t suffer when we’re not creating
negative mental stories. We must remember that these harmful stories are in our
minds and when we quiet our minds, all our suffering ends.

When we are present, we can always find beauty in something. We can be locked
up in prison and yet be mindful of the magnificent rays of the morning sun as they
illuminate everything they touch. Listening to our heart beat so gently, so
rhythmically, can be beautiful for someone preparing to die and feeling his or her
heart beat for the last few times. These experiences can still be beautiful. Yes,
these examples may be the exception, but as long as one person on the planet is
able to find happiness in such situations, it means it is also a possibility for anyone.
Be present, be still. For only then will happiness, instead of being elusive and
coming only fleetingly, be our natural state. We will achieve our natural state when
our minds are still and living in the here and now without negative mental
commentary. If we are present and still, life will be well, and we will experience true
happiness.

And if you still do not believe me, I want you to take a challenge. Go outside,
preferably where you can find absolute quiet, perhaps a park, a meadow, or a
beach. Go to this place and allow yourself to be totally quiet and free from thought
for a minute or five or ten minutes. Choose something—a bird, a tree, a flower, or
anything else you can be 100 percent attentive to—and listen to this object, watch
it, and just be with it. This is all I want you to do for the entire time. Don’t analyze
the object; just be with it. Your mind is still, and you are being present with the
thing you have chosen.
After the exercise is over, reflect upon this time. Were you sad? Did you feel
depressed? If you truly were present with your chosen object, you will find that you
felt happy and at peace. Yes, this feeling may have lasted only for a short period,
but for some people, it’s enough to get a sense of “Wow, I can do this!” And trust
me, you can!

Keeping our mind still and present is a skill. This is actually a skill we possess as
young children, as they do this all day long. However, as we grow up, we forget or
suppress this skill. If we learn to employ this skill again and go back to what I call
our natural state, then we are happy.

These are the key components of happiness: keeping our mind still and being
present. When we learn and put these ideas into practice, we enter the world of
happiness.
How to be happy: 7 simple, scientifically proven keys that will help you every
day.
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do, is in harmony"
Mahatma Gandhi.

Why does it seem so complicated to be happy?

Yes, I have also asked myself that many times. Perhaps it happens to me that,
the famous "comfort zone" is no longer enough , but rather, it results in an
"uncomfortable comfort".
Or maybe, you just have that feeling that, there must be some way to make life
feel better . If so ... Congratulations to those who like me, are encouraged to
question things and want to know how to be happy, or at least want to try !

That you are here, reading these lines, is already a good sign that you are
willing to change. How nice that it is, because I prepared several tips that have
helped me (it is a daily job to be happy) and I am sure that, because they are
scientifically proven, if you put them into practice, you can also achieve it.

1- FIRST, CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, THEN THINK ABOUT HOW TO BE HAPPY.

Bonnie Ware , worked in palliative care accompanying patients who had few
months left to live . In this process he managed to conclude that
the repentance that these people commonly expressed was: " I wish I had the
courage to live a life of my own, not the life that others expected of me ."

Life is one and too short for us to hope naively that perfect moment, in which we
believe that happiness will come down from some heaven , and enter our life
in the form of money, opportunity, person, etc. And that simply by embracing
that moment, we will gather the strength to : start to be happy !.
No. Happiness is a journey much longer than that, deeper, and more
comforting,indeed.
It is a daily decision to be happy , and like any other habit, it requires a
constant commitment to internalize it.
So, first have the INTENTION , the predisposition for
leave your comfort zone, to leave old habits and thoughts behind, and right now
begins to make simple changes , which will bring that feeling of wellbeing and
fullness, which will allow you to be happier.
That is to say: stop looking for happiness, and start living happiness .
A study conducted by June Gruber (a Yale psychologist) suggests
that constantly seeking to be happy can generate anguish . This happens
when those who seek it, do so thinking that everything that is suggested to
achieve happiness, MUST in fact make them happy, and can not deal with
frustration , if the results do not appear in time and form.
The truth is that happiness is not the product of doing something, but a
change in lifestyle, and not always achieved by magic.
You can start right now by making simple changes like:

 forgives,
 let it go,
 relax (you can not control everything),
 prioritizes peace and not always the reason (it is much healthier),
 redefine your values,
 smile a little more,
 say thanks,
 do not press,
 eat slowly and enjoy each bite,
 etc. (etc = the rest of the 6 points of the article)

2- CHANGE THE PARADIGM: success does not make you happier.

This affects us all, because it is a paradigm that is still installed in society.

The cultural and social pressure in this regard has led us to believe that a
title, a role, a position in a company, a giant check at the end of the month, a
project that works, is what gives us happiness.
But: what would we be then, if all that disappears? Actually, it is not bad neither
the check, nor the position, nor the project, what is wrong is to condition our life,
and our "happiness" to that, because they are too ephemeral issues to work as
the only support of our life .
Therefore, the road to success is completely the reverse of what we believe ,
and even, you can get a lot, but much more than we imagine, if we go through it
this way.
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love
what you are doing, then you will be successful. "- Albert Schweitzer
Who does things for every day to be at peace, in fullness and live moments
of happiness, can succeed in the rest of the challenges of life: in relationships,
at work, in the family, etc.
According to a study carried out by Sonja Lyubomirsky , Ph.D., of the University of
California, it indicates that when people feel happy, they tend to be optimistic,
energetic and to have confidence in themselves , which leads to the rest finding
these people more pleasant, sociable and reliable.
These aspects expand the opportunities to: specify a business, to
successfully meet objectives, create or develop new things, including to
meet a couple, make more friends, etc.
So to be happier, try to leave that blind ambition, since the check will arrive, the
car, and the status, will also come, if you first find the passion, the fullness in what
you are and do.

3-RODEATE POSITIVE AND HAPPY PEOPLE

Happiness is like a beautiful disease or virus that spreads around us.

Being with positive people, grateful, enthusiastic, contagia welfare, and
transmit us that special energy, which allows the day surrounded by them,
be more pleasant, comforting, and even more productive.
A study carried out by BMJ Group concludes that the happiness of the people
depends to a great extent on the happiness of the people with whom they connect,
and may even be a collective phenomenon.
Therefore, it is necessary to know how to choose who will be by our side ,
since the influence, both positive and negative, is very great.
Is not it exhausting to be around people who only complain, or that anything makes
them sad, or that they feel dissatisfied with their lives, transferring that frustration
with unpatient, unkind and selfish attitudes?
These people, unfortunately, do nothing but throw us back, because it seems that,
for them nothing is perfect, not too good, not too cute, not too fair, too promising, or
too safe, etc.
Whether it's taking a trip, starting a project, starting a relationship, putting together
a party, or choosing a restaurant to go to dinner, everything becomes too
complicated and the day seems to be full of obstacles. These things do not help us
to grow, to advance, in synthesis, it does not contribute anything in the life of
someone who seeks to be happy.
If the water that does not flow freely, when it becomes stagnant, it becomes ugly,
likewise happens with the energy that surrounds us, with the situations that are
presented to us.

eye! With the above, I do not expect us to confuse "denial" with optimism. It also
does not help to be with people denying reality, of problems, of the stones that
every path has, since life is full of good and bad things, but the important thing is
how we face these circumstances.
Positive and optimistic people, do not deny the problems, or an unpleasant
reality, but have enough personal security, self-love, to know that they can
change the course of things, and transform a sad, painful, or a failure , in an
experience that will make us wiser, or stronger to keep moving forward .

4- LIVE THE NOW

"True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxiety dependent on the future" -
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A study published in Sciencemag , indicates that people spend rambling 47% of

their time , which implies a constant absence of the present, of the decisions
we made, of the memorable moments ... and then we asked ourselves how it
was that Christmas arrived so Quick? How did all this happen this year?
One of the most relevant factors for happiness, is to be focused on today, to
embrace the present moment, to be aware of what surrounds us, and of
every sensation that we are going through now, already, at this moment.
The past is not there, you do not count on yesterday, even less on the future. What
we have is the present, and that is what we must learn to live.
If you think this two or three times, it sounds like little common sense, want to
experience or live something that is no longer there, or even fantasize or worry
about things that have not even happened yet, but that is how, apparently, it
happens to us life. That's why nostalgia weighs so much, that's why so many
regrets, so many fears without meaning ...
Why will we be so foolish and deprive ourselves of today? Today you are healthy,
now you are drinking a hot, delicious coffee, now you are warm, now the sun is in
your face and you can breathe, now you have a partner who accompanies you, a
friend who calls you, a boss who encourages you, today is today.
Tomorrow we will have those things yet? And ... We do not know, but with
certainty, living thinking about the past, or worried about the future, take us out of
the life we have today, which is perhaps the life that can make us happy, but with
so much noise, we can not realize .

5- PERFORM A PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.

Perform some physical activity in the day, change the day .

If you were tired, you will be with more energy, if you were worried, you will be less
tense, if you did not like your body, you will like it more. Even if you suffer from
insomnia, you can relax and get the sleep, which also allows us to have a better
mood, be more lucid and focused.
Doing exercises also works very powerfully to calm anxiety disorders . A
study conducted by Daniel Lenders, from the Arizona State University , indicates
that exercise works better than relaxation, than meditation and music therapy, for
episodes of anxiety.
Likewise, a study was carried out through which, it was found that even without
losing weight , people who had been assigned a routine of exercises of 6 × 40
mins, after that they had a better perception of their body, in comparison with
the group that was assigned a reading activity.
The benefits of physical activity transcend everything related to the
body. A study found that people with depressive disorders , who had been
suppressed all types of drugs and in their replacement performed different routines
of physical activity, showed high rates of recovery, and most importantly, low
rates of relapse, compared to those who had only followed a medication
treatment.

Of course, I imagine that on a cold day, or after an exhausting day, it is easier to

stay in the armchair, "relaxing" with a coffee, watching a series or reading a book,
which is not bad, the case is, that you choose to ALWAYS do that.
For those who need to change the energy of the day once and for all, and a
coffee, a beer, an armchair, does not return anything positive, exercise is the
best antidote.
Although in the beginning it is difficult to gather courage to go for a walk, run, ride a
bicycle during an icy morning, or a very hot afternoon, or a night, after solving all
the problems of a tiring day, if you finally dare to do it , the feeling when returning
to your home, is going to be fantastic. I promise.
You feel stronger, more alive, healthier, more powerful, because you have
managed to do something that you did not think you were going to be able to
do. It is one more step of personal improvement. Try it, it's part of this
beautiful daily job of being happier.

6-PRACTICE THE GRATITUDE

At this point, it is where I feel most comfortable, because the action of giving
thanks has never failed me.
Not only give thanks to people, but to life, to the universe, or to the God in whom
you believe. It's like the more grateful you are, life gives you back more than that
for what you appreciate.
The act of gratitude is also a correlation of being focused, of living the now ,
it is an act of the present, of living your life today , because your conscience is
in each of the things that are happening to you , and in what do you have.
It seems silly, but for me it is essential to have all my limbs: two legs, two arms, two
ears (that's not a limb but they follow me with the idea), and when I do, I
automatically feel a relief and happiness that every thing is in its place and that if I
want I can go running and be free for an hour. I can see, I can smell, I can listen, I
can taste the flavors of the world, I can feel the texture of things. And that really
has no price. Or it has not happened to them of striking a leg or burning a finger,
and that all the routine of the day becomes a "hell"?

But leaving aside my humble experience, there are studies that confirm the great
impactthat gratitude has on our emotional well-being.
On the part of the Journal of Happiness Studies, the effects of writing thank-you
letters were examined in a study involving 219 people, which consisted of
participants writing a thank-you letter per week (3 weeks). The results suggest that
the conscious focalization of everything that one has to thank, generates a
beneficial impact at an emotional and interpersonal level, increasing levels of
satisfaction and decreasing depressive symptoms.
For that, do not stop thanking.
For a moment, and write down on paper at least 4 nice things that happened
to you during the day . What went well despite everything ?:
nobody scolded you at work, your son got a ten, you lost 2 kg, a contract
was successfully closed, you had an unexpected reunion with a friend of years,
you made love, the money reached you to pay all taxes, you ate the best pasta

dish in weeks,etc., etc. (And let's not forget the extremities )

All this will lead you to be more aware of the luck you have, and will help you
start the next day with more energy, and with a better predisposition to face the
daily obligations of life.

7- ACCOMPANY AND HELP OTHER PEOPLE

At this point I discovered something that I had not thought so much:

Many times we are so focused on our tasks, business, worries, that it seems that
the hours of the day do not reach at all , but it has been shown that when we
dedicate a couple of hours to other people, the perception of our time seems
to be greater.
According to Cassie Mogilner, a researcher on the relationship of how to be happy
and the time management of Wharton School, he concluded, through a study, that:
"giving up some hours of our day to other people, generates the sensation, at the
end of the day, that the time was much more abundant, including much more
than if we did something for ourselves during our free time. "
Whether it's joining a volunteer, mentoring someone, helping a partner, or being a
confidant of a friend who needs an ear, expands your sense of time and results in
great satisfaction.
However, beyond time or money, what is important is the effect generated by
these attitudes on others. A simple gesture can make someone feel worthwhile,
that is not alone, and we give hope, even without knowing it.
I leave the following video, which I hope will inspire you to be able to do every day,
not only do something that does us good, but to others.

Conclusion:

I hope these tips on how to be happy will be useful, and remember that you can
start right now.
Do not expect the perfect conditions to start working on happiness. That does not
exist. Happiness is a decision of every day , and it is necessary to stop looking
for happiness, and start to live it .
For that, focus on the now, in the present. Become aware of everything you
have, feel, and live TODAY . Tomorrow, we do not know, the past is gone, maybe
you have everything to be happy, and you do not realize.
Enjoy every bite of food, every deep breath you can do, every morning that you
can appreciate the sun.
If you are sad, tired, frustrated, anxious, I assure you that being on the couch,
thinking about those things that hurt you, will not generate a change in
you. Go for a walk, to run, to ride a bicycle, overcome the comfort of the
moment, and encourage yourself to feel better.
Find people who take you further as a person, who challenge you, who allow
you to move forward in life, in all aspects. Be generous with your time, with your
space, with a gesture. You do not know what a single act can generate in the
other.

If you feel that another person whom you love or appreciate, you can do well
these lines, do not forget to share this article !. Maybe it can be "the" action
of the day, contributing a quota of love, to someone's journey.