Razie Hyria

Revisions Matrix

Text from my initial  A comment or question I  The change(s) I made  How this 
assignment:  received from De Piero  to what I initially  change impacts 
(a phrase, sentence,  or a classmate:  wrote:   my piece: 
paragraph, idea,  (or a thought that you had 
punctuation, piece of  on your own)  (i.e. the change I made 
evidence, etc.)  to column 1) 

Annotated “???” - Zack I actually completed it Its a tool used

bibliography for my outreach
email and now
that its
completed it
will only benefit
my outreach
email. And
grade.

Razie Hyria “Raz, I want you to Razie Hyria It makes my

Professor Zack Google how an "MLA" Professor Zack De paper look
English 15 paper looks to get an idea Piero cleaner and
12 September 2018 of the formatting English 15 more proper
Everything proper no expectations. Also take a 12 September 2018
propaganda look at the resource that I The Significance of
posted to Canvas. Text in Political
Propaganda Posters
Some aspects you'll want
to change are:
-capitalizing titles
-Prof + Last Name “-
Zack

One could put The very first sentence of Many times I have Its simpler, and
a few simple words on papers is unique because caught myself looking mentions the
a background it has the it's the VERY 1st at political posters and things i'll be
ability to sway an impression you're going to ignoring the text that's talking about.
audience, push their make on a reader, so it's on it. Often times It's easier for the
agenda and crucial that it's political posters, or reader to
simultaneously bash crystal-clear. Something posters in general are understand
an opponent, and about this isn't quite clear made to be bright, where i'm going
many have for years; to me flashy, or unique with my paper
through political in some way to grasp
propaganda someone's attention.
I was hoping, if you’d “purpose. get to it, the I am reaching out to I moved it up
have me, to work sooner the better” you because I would earlier in the
under you in this greatly appreciate a first paragraph
research. I’d love to chance to be mentored after my RQ (
work under, and be by you as I continue sooner)
mentored by someone this research. I read
who has such some of your papers on
extensive constructive
work/research in this neural-network
complex, yet essential learning algorithms and
field of study. the advances in
artificial intelligence as
I formed my annotated
bibliography.

penn state abington “ CAPS!” Penn State University I got rid of

abington bc he
is a main
campus
professor, and
made it caps to
add to the
professionalism

Thank you for taking separate your paragraphs I understand you are It gives the
the time to hear me by their currently in the process professor a time
out, and if you can, get function/purpose.... here, of working towards frame while also
back to me within a you're kind of "signing some more of your own introduces the
months time. off" and giving gratitude. publications, so I hope following
consider putting this as a January 15th 2019 is opt-out clause
standalone para enough time for you to ending the email
consider your decision
and get back to me.

What a coincidence. “this could be interpreted Those papers helped I mentioned

as a little casual if you me discover your how we share
don't know this prof yet.” shared similar research similar interest
interest within artificial but less casual,
intelligence and adding onto the
machine learning. professionalism
and shows the
interest i had in
his work

“Again and “i’d advise you to refrain REMOVED IT Once i revised i

again, hard-liners have from using free-floating realized it
worked to sabotage quotes (sentences that start ultimately
efforts at bipartisan and end with a quote).” served no
progress, even when purpose
they knew their
intransigence could
inflict serious harm on
the nation, as it did
during the October
2013 government
shutdown.
d in fact “An can you relate this back to Removed it It made my
average of just 14% of an argument about writing WP1 for concise
Republicans have -- about the concepts and straight to
approved of Obama we've been studying in the point
over the course of his this course? If not, it's
presidency, compared irrelevant.
with an average of
81% of Democrats.”
(Dimock).
Using a literary lens, “our argument. Right now, Without the feature of I fixed it to
I’ll be analyzing the this isn't quite an written language, provide for
effectiveness of 21st argument. You aren't political propaganda something i am
century political taking a side or trying to posters would not trying to prove,
propaganda by their persuade me of something significantly persuade, this case is that
conventions, rhetorics, - you're just telling me inform, or empower its they are not
and that you'll be analyzing target audiences. effective
affordances/constraints stuff. without text.

What ABOUT that stuff

do you want to try to
"prove"?”

Esigniture Took class discussion Razie Hyria It made my

notes outreach email
Penn State Class of look more
2022 professional
Undergraduate
Computer Engineering
Major

2672508889

rxh5373@psu.edu