Montejo 1

Darnell Montejo

Professor Batty

English 28

13 December 2018

In-Class Essay Reflection

This story was one of the essays that I had to revise and edit plenty because it was done

in class so not all the paragraphs and ideas that I wanted to write were fully conceived the first

time around. I added a thesis in the end of the introduction that is hopefully clearer than the

original thesis, I used the they say I say format. I made my thesis clearer by focusing it on one

thing rather then being vague. I tried to add more details for each body paragraph and elaborated

more. Also, on the Second body paragraph I deleted the whole story that I had on my original

essay because I felt that the story of the teenage girl and the flowers didn’t really fit or answer

the question on the prompt. So, I replaced it with a story of how my mom wanted to fundraise to

help her hometown because I felt like this fit in with the theme of the story and answered the

prompt question much better.

I tried to fix some of the punctuation issues I had. One of punctuation issues I fixed

mostly was when I quoted something, I did it correctly in the revised essay. I also got rid a lot of

comma splices I had. I also fixed some of the grammar issues I had, some of them were minor

and some major that the sentence wouldn’t even make sense. I got rid of random sentences and

some sentences that I would just repeat the same ideas and didn’t even notice it the first time.