The Status and Place of Geisha in Japanese Society and the

Reason for the Wife’s Acceptance of the Geisha

Patty Lin 林友硯
Class 317
Tainan Girls’Senior High School
2005.8.25
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Today, most people can not accept a third person in the relationship between themselves
and
their spouse, in other words, their spouse having an affair. In reading Memoirs of a
Geisha, I came
across many passages that suggest that it is alright, if not common, for Japanese man with
certain
social status to have a mistress. The wife does not question or argue with their husband
over this
issue, but rather remains a silent and dutiful wife. Far from being jealous of her husband’s
affection for the geisha, the wife sometimes even makes friendly interactions with the
geisha.
Some of the passages also give me the impression that women usually have no say in
their
husbands’ work; in the book, men go to parties, business parties or any other parties alike,
not in
the company of their wives as most people nowadays do, but in the company of geishas.
This
intrigued me and therefore I decided to search deeper for the reason beneath this
seemingly
different view on marriage and relationship between man and wife.
II. Thesis
1. Geisha’s status and relationships with her clients

1.1 Geisha’s status in Japanese society

The word “geisha” means “artist” in Japanese. Its history is not as long as one may
think it is.
The predecessors of geishas first appeared in the 17
th
century; however the early geishas were
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entertained in various ways. It was not until the 18
th
century that the female
geishas gradually came to dominate this trade. Geishas flourished during the Meiji era
while
reaching the height in the early 20
th
century. The number of geishas has declined greatly from
1920’s 80,000 to today’s few thousand.
 Geishas are women who perform or entertain whether at parties, banquets or festivals.
They
play the shamisen (a three-stringed traditional Japanese instrument), perform dances,
perform tea
ceremonies and make conversations with the guests at the party. It is probably the only
profession
in Japan where the women are consistently ranked above the men○1 . Originally women
in
traditional Japanese society are considered to be dependent on men. The world of geishas
is a
culture that allows Japanese women to be independent and economically self-sufficient,
as they do
not marry (for they will cease to be a geisha if she does) ○2 .
Geishas used to be connected with prostitution (many people today still have this
misperception); however, they are now the proud guardians of Japanese traditional
culture. Many
women now choose to become geishas in order to learn and preserve the tradition.
Geishas of
today are seen as the preservers of art, a blend of grace and beauty, and a memory from
the bygone
days.
1.2 The role of geisha to her customers
In Japan, many important business parties and political banquets are held with the
company of
geishas. Some sociologists explain this phenomenon as the result of the innate
awkwardness
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during social intercourse. Whilst with the music, dance and lively conversations
provided by the company of geishas, the tension can ease, and the trust and partnership
will build
up in this atmosphere. Other sociologists deem that typical Japanese men simply can not
relax in
the presence of a more fine/ good woman. These kinds of women will undoubtedly
remind them
of the restraint from their mother during childhood, and will only make them even more
reserved○3 . In any case, geishas have the supporting effect and making men feel more at
ease.
1.3 Relationship between geisha and her danna (patron)
A man who could afford to pay the expenses of the costly lifestyle of a geisha can take
on a
geisha as their mistress. To be a danna, he is expected to pay off a portion of the geisha’s
debt and
her living expenses. Moreover, he still has to pay the usual hourly fee whenever he
spends time
with her just like every other customer. Despite all this extravagant expenses, however,
the danna
is also entitled to privileges too, whether mental affections or sexual favors. The geisha
may also
accompany him to certain parties, or special trips. This is where the major income for the
geisha
comes from. A geisha without a danna- “Is like a stray cat on the street without a master
to feed
it.”○4
Traditionally, marriages were arranged in respectable families, which meant more to
preserve
social rank rather than secure personal happiness of the bride and groom○5 . Under these
circumstances, a Japanese man of means would typically come to have two women in his
life, his
wife and his loved one○6 . It came to be not unusual for men of wealth and power to have
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geishas. As for the geisha, it would be a chance of securing a better place for
herself in society and it was also a way of being economically independent. The geisha
actually
had a say over who she accepted as her danna, and these relationships usually lasted
about six
months or even longer.
1.4 Relationship between geisha and her danna’s wife
‘……the wife of our host stood at the door to hand out envelopes containing a
generous tip as we left. She gave Mameha two of them. And asked her the favor of
delivering the second to the geisha Tomizuru, who had “gone home earlier with a
headache,” as she puts it. Actually she knew as well as we did that Tomizuru was her
husband’s mistress, and had gone with him to another wing of the house to keep him
company for the night.’○7
In this passage we could see fully clear that the wife did not mind her husband having a
mistress
or if she did mind, she showed none of her feeling about it.
Geisha women are not perceived as a threat to a marriage in Japanese culture○8 .
Traditionally,
the wife and geisha play completely different roles in society, they are not supposed to
collide. The
wife is the one who looks after and take care of the husband and their family; as for the
geisha, she
is the one who relieves the pressure the husband withstands from society, workplace and
such.
Wives usually know who their husbands’ geishas are, and there are indeed times when
their paths
cross. During Obon Festival and during the New Year’s celebrations, geisha will typically
visit the
PDF created with pdfFactory Pro trial version www.pdffactory.comhomes of important
customers and bring gifts to their wives.
If a wife has trouble persuading the husband into agreeing on something that may be for
the
best interest of the family, she may ask the geisha for advice or even ask her to persuade
the
husband on her behalf. Other than acting on the wife’s behalf, a geisha may also offer
business
advice, for she is likely to hear important business deals while performing at business
parties. In
the past, geishas sometimes perform at the wedding of their customer’s daughter, and she
will
certainly be present at the funerals of important patrons. During these times of sorrow, the
geisha
will be in charge of the funeral arrangements, which is appreciated very much by the
family○9 .
2. Marriage and role of Japanese mother and father
2.1 Mothers in traditional Japanese families
To many foreigners, Japanese mothers seem like the busiest people in the world. She has
to
cook, take care of the children, clean the house, wash clothes, do grocery shopping,
practically
doing all the chores by herself. If she has a job, she still has to do most of the chores.
Though she
may be seen by the rest of the world as dependant on her husband, she is the one who
dominates
the household. Many mothers have full power over the finance of the family and they
usually
make decisions on domestic issues○10 .
PDF created with pdfFactory Pro trial version www.pdffactory.com2.2 The influence of
mother on the son
Traditional Japanese mothers devote a great amount of time to her children, especially on
her
son. She puts endless love and attention on her son and raises him up making him feel
more
superior to women, resulting in most Japanese men seldom helps out with housework.
However,
this has made a lot of men very dependent on their mother. When they grow up, they
yearn to find
someone who will love and take care of them as unselfishly as their mother. Most of this
effort is
in vain; as a result, they turn to bars or having an affair as a resolution○11 .
Interestingly enough, many Japanese men grow up feeing that they have been “sculpted”
into
the person their mother wants them to be, and many feel dismay at
this, while at the same time, unable to rid of the guilt, they feel of being in debt
to their mother.
2.3 Fathers in traditional Japanese families
In the eyes of outsiders, traditional mothers in Japanese households are often tied up at
home
with chores and looking after their children. They have practically no freedom compared
with
their husbands. In most cases, the father is privileged to hanging out after work, often not
arriving
home until late at night.
It may be because of this freedom that forfeits the father from having much power over
domestic affairs. Japanese men generally work ten hours a day, five days a week,
sometimes even
taking additional shifts on weekends. Many leave home at seven o’clock for work and
arrive home
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night. To his family, he seems almost like a lodger who stays overnight. As
men are content with a small role in family life, he loses the real authority in the family,
he may
not help do any chores but he is also willing to accept the fact that his wife is the one who
takes
charge of the finance and makes decisions. Many Japanese women’s concept toward their
husband
is “He is just a child, he can not make big decisions.”, and a Japanese proverb reflects
their
attitudes very clearly “The best husband is the one who is healthy, but absent.”○12 .
2.4 Relationship between husband and wife
Japanese men are brought up in the full attention and love of their mother. When they
grow up,
they subconsciously expect their wife will treat him just as his mother did, with selfless
love and
attention. Husbands sometimes would call their wife “mother” just like his children○13 .
This is a
way of showing his want for the love and care he had when he was a child. If not, he
would
probably turn to other women to seek this affection.
III. Conclusion
For Japanese wives, it is acceptable for their husbands to have a mistress due to her
role in the
family. She is the one who looks after and cares for her husband and children. She has
total
authority over the family affairs, and therefore her status may not be threatened by a third
party. In
a way, she is the one who takes care of the internal affairs and the geisha is the person
that helps
handle the external affairs. The geisha is also a kind of ally to the wife, whether by
helping to
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on the wife’s behalf or by offering business advices.
All in all, this special relationship between geisha, wife and husband is the result of the
unique
family structure in Japan. Each and every one of their lives and roles seldom overlaps
with the
other, making the relationship seemingly remarkable yet it works out harmoniously in
Japan’s
traditional society.
PDF created with pdfFactory Pro trial version www.pdffactory.comIV. Reference
○1 <<Geisha of Japan>>
http://marian.creighton.edu/~marian-w/academics/english/japan/geisha/geisha.html
○2 <<Geisha of Japan>>
http://marian.creighton.edu/~marian-w/academics/english/japan/geisha/geisha.html
○3 <<大和民族的樂章-日本的智慧>> pg. 99˙馮瑋/著˙林鬱文化˙2000
○4 Golden, Arthur˙2000˙Memoirs of a Geisha˙ NY: Vintage Books, pg. 171
○5 <<Geisha of Japan>>
http://marian.creighton.edu/~marian-w/academics/english/japan/geisha/geisha.html
○6 <<Geisha of Japan>>
http://marian.creighton.edu/~marian-w/academics/english/japan/geisha/geisha.html
○7 Golden, Arthur˙2000˙Memoirs of a Geisha˙ NY: Vintage Books, pg. 336
○8 <<Geisha of Japan>>
http://marian.creighton.edu/~marian-w/academics/english/japan/geisha/geisha.html
○9 <<Geisha of Japan>>
http://marian.creighton.edu/~marian-w/academics/english/japan/geisha/geisha.html
○10 <<探索日本奇蹟-剖析日本人心態>> pg. 45
by Robert. C. Christopher˙汪仲、 袁宗绮/譯˙經濟與生活˙1984
○11 <<探索日本奇蹟-剖析日本人心態>> pg. 47
by Robert. C. Christopher˙汪仲、 袁宗绮/譯˙經濟與生活˙1984
PDF created with pdfFactory Pro trial version www.pdffactory.com○12 <<探索日本奇
蹟-剖析日本人心態>> pg. 44, 45
by Robert. C. Christopher˙汪仲、 袁宗绮/譯˙經濟與生活˙1984
○13 <<大和民族的樂章-日本的智慧>> pg. 103˙馮瑋/著˙林鬱文化˙2000
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