10 Days to Prelims – 10 Things to Keep in Mind

Prelims test is just 10 days away. This is usually the time when your mind is rather restless and clouded
in self-doubt. Some of you are worried that you haven‘t yet finished a particular topic, some others are
stressed whether they will make the final cut for Mains. Remember that it‘s okay to be a little nervous at
this point and that it happens to everyone. I was no different, too.

From my experience, I have distilled a few suggestions to help you perform well in the exam.

1. In these final days, if you start reading entirely new material which you haven‘t read before,
you‘ll only stress yourself out. Just refer to whatever you had already read. Revision is the
absolute key. How effectively you perform in the actual exam depends on the quality of revision
you do in these 10 days.
2. Stay calm. While revising, do not get bogged down in one subject. Your target should be to
revise all the topics methodically before the final day.
3. Questions are going to be balanced and will be asked from across the syllabus. So if you are poor
in one topic, that‘s alright. You can offset it through performing well in your stronger areas. For
example, if you are worried about Indian Art and Culture, do not freak out. You might lose out
on some questions, but you will still have many others to solve.
4. Just the day before the exam, ensure that you get 7-8 hours of quality sleep. A good night‘s rest
will rejuvenate your senses and ensures that your brain is alert and memory is on point.
5. Many aspirants (especially engineering grads) tend to be careless about CSAT Paper 2. I‘ve seen
people who solve only 60 questions and think that‘s enough to qualify them. Some are even
more impulsive— they leave the hall 30 minutes before time. Don‘t be that reckless brat. Your
qualification for Mains will be based on your marks, not your audacity. Remember that just
because the paper is qualifying, UPSC is not going to hand it you on a platter. This is why they
have been constantly pushing up the difficulty level over the past few years. So solve CSAT with
all the seriousness and intensity of Paper-1.
6. While solving the paper, in the first iteration, go through all 100 questions sequentially and do
three things: mark those answers you are confident about, round those questions that you are
unsure or vaguely aware of (for guesswork later), and cross those questions which you have
absolutely no idea about. In the second iteration, you come back again and try to answer those
questions you are vaguely aware of through educated guesswork or elimination method.
7. Don‘t get mired in one question and waste your time. If you are unable to recall, make a side
mark on the question paper and move on. Once you come back after solving remaining
questions, chances are you‘ll recollect.
8. If we assume a moderately difficult paper, then you will confidently know answers to around 50-
60 questions. But you must aim to attempt around 85-90 questions. That‘s why educated
guesswork is necessary and important.
9. As you enter the exam hall, it doesn‘t matter what books you may have read, or how many times
you may have revised. What matters are those 100 questions. Put your emotions aside and solve
those 100 questions with a laser like focus. Erase your fears, doubts and insecurities and stay
positive and confident.
10. Always believe and keep telling yourself that you have worked hard and prepared well so far and
that you‘ll do well. On the final day, summon your best self and you will absolutely ace the test.

Best wishes,
Anudeep.

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 My UPSC Journey: From Despair to Destiny
Sometime in February 2016, UPSC declared that I had failed in the Civil Services Examination. That
was my fourth attempt and third failure. The result didn‘t seem as bad then, convinced as I was of my
own supreme ability and UPSC‘s blatant bias. My inner voice immediately went about searching for
excuses. “I must have flunked the language paper. Or some clerical mistake? Surely I must have been
wronged!‖

I eagerly looked forward to my marksheet, mostly to confirm my own prejudice. When the marksheet
finally arrived, the scores read as follows, starting with marks in Essay: 100,74,66,91,68,75,91. A grand
total of 565, way behind the cutoff. If there were an individual cut off for each paper, I would have
probably failed in all of them.

Thus at the end of four gruelling attempts and five years of toil, there I was. I get my worst result in the
year I had worked the most. In that moment, the marks didn‘t seem so bad— I knew I had failed that
year anyway. What difference does a marksheet make?

But like a potent poison slowly making its way to my head, it was only in the hours and days later, I
could truly grasp the scale of my defeat. I didn‘t just miss the cut, I was nowhere near the competition.
My failure was undeniable and total, and it shook me to the core.

Most of us begin our Civils preparation treating it only as an exam. But slowly and surely, as we face
hurdles and endure suffering, the exam takes center stage and getting through it becomes our only
objective. So when we are defeated in this exam, we almost feel defeated at life. And so it was with me.

The failure crept inward into other aspects of my being. It eroded my drive, confidence and morale. Both
professionally and personally, I turned indifferent and underconfident. My day to day life became
lethargic, timid and was one of mere existence— I was a walking dead man. And within no time, I
unconsciously fell into the most crushing of traps: I was convinced that I am not good enough.

This is the sinking feeling every failed aspirant goes through. No one comes into the preparation
thinking of giving this exam twice. That is why for many of us, first failure comes across as shocking,
the second humbling and the third absolutely devastating. I was indeed devastated.

At that point in 2016, for me to give another attempt was to risk another failure, and I couldn‘t afford it.
I wanted to save whatever little confidence that was left in me. I simply didn‘t have the courage to carry
on, and I knew I had hit a dead end. Within days, I decided to quit. I packed my papers, bundled my
books, cleaned my shelves and dumped them in an obscure corner just so that I don‘t even accidentally
catch the sight of them— for they represented symbols of my inadequacy and collapse.

From that abyss, it took me a couple of months to recover. I realised that life was slowly drifting away,
and I didn‘t want to standby as a mere spectator. I focussed on work, learnt taxation laws, pursued my
interests diligently and took up meditation as a hobby. In meditation, you train your mind to see things
clearly. And I did begin to see things clearly.
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I realised that I was so absorbed in this relentless exam cycle that I didn‘t recognise my own hubris. For
all my failures, I kept blaming UPSC, the examiner, my optional, my pen, the clerk entering the marks
on the system— everything and everyone apart from me.

Blaming UPSC or someone else only gave me a false sense of satisfaction, made me feel good about
myself, and did not in anyway help my cause. Thus, instead of wallowing in self-pity and victimhood, I
decided to own up to my failures and accepted that I failed because I didn‘t deserve. Once I had
accepted this, the inner voice that was so adamantly justifying my failings simply faded away.

The break helped me see that my failure was not that I couldn‘t clear in previous attempts, but that I had
learnt nothing from it. Year after year I kept repeating the same mistakes. I toiled hard, but hardly made
any progress: I was running on a ground that was fast shifting beneath me.

*****

In December 2016, eight months after my debacle, I sat down to think hard and think deep to understand
why I failed. It was not an exercise to avenge my defeat, I just wanted to know why.

Prelims couldn‘t have been a problem— I always got a good score. Personality test was ruled out too: in
the only interview I had given, I got 204. The conclusion was inevitable— I sucked at Mains. It stood
like an impenetrable wall against which I had been hitting my head all these years. So I drilled deeper to
diagnose my problem.

I downloaded toppers‘ answer booklets and invested endless hours going through them. After a while,
one thing became evident: Their answers weren‘t in any way extraordinary (If you see my answers now,
you‘d realise the same). I zeroed in on the fact that it wasn‘t because of lack of knowledge, and that my
failings lay elsewhere.

My optional scores were a big problem too. I‘ve always felt my optional Public Administration was
treated unfairly. But this time I faulted no one, and I had to do something about it.

In Jan 2017, I decided to take up Anthropology. It was a bold decision: I hardly had 9 months to prepare
an entirely new subject. On the other hand, I loved Anthro and it ignited my spirits and breathed
intellectual fire into my otherwise dull preparation cycle.

Against that thick, impenetrable wall in front of me, now I had a small chisel. The challenge was
daunting, but I kept reminding myself a quote from the film Shawshank Redemption: ―Time and
pressure. That‘s all it really takes.‖

I‘ve always believed that Sports represent a microcosm of our lives and I‘ve taken inspiration from
many athletes. Roger Federer‘s resurgence in 2017 couldn‘t have come at a better time. I kept telling
myself: After being written off by everyone, if he could come back and win it at 36, why can‟t I?

*****

In July 2017, I enrolled at the ForumIAS academy for GS and Essay mains test series (online mode) and
wrote my first test on 26-08-2017. I timed the clock, took the test from my home and wrote all answers
at my usual writing speed. In a paper I took 3 hr 42 minutes to finish, I scored 87. The problem was
clear as daylight.
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I didn‘t lose heart but worked to improve. The next test took me 3 hr 20 min; and finally by the end of
4th test, I could finish my papers within 3 hours.

The comments and assessment on my test series papers were incredibly helpful. I worked on their
feedback to improve my answer content and presentation. Also, during this time I came across answer
booklets of Prajit Nair (AIR-87, CSE 2016) and they were absolute gold. I adapted my writing style
based on his answers. Points over paragraphs, simplicity over sophistication. Overtime, I‘ve learnt to put
dense, quality content in fewer words and tighter sentences.

All through this rigorous exercise, my aim was not to clear the exam with a top rank (it never really
occurred to me), but to prove a point to myself that I am not a loser at this exam. The battle was
intensely personal.

And so I practised and practised hard. On workdays I used to take out at least 3 hrs for preparation, and
on weekends I slogged by the sweat of my brow.

Just before my Mains exam in Oct 2017, securing a top rank was never on mind. The immediate,
burning goal in front of me was only this: in those 3 hours, for those 20 questions, I‘ll answer and
answer them well.

Which I did. When I walked out of that examination hall on Nov 3, 2017, I knew I gave my best shot.

*****

When the final results were declared on April 27, 2018, the immediate feeling I had was one of
overwhelming disbelief. No one expects to top the exam, especially after failing so many times.

It‘s only after sometime that the gravity of the accomplishment finally sinks in. And when it did finally
sink in for me, I was slowly overtaken by a feeling that was much more precious. The emotion wasn‘t
one of ecstasy, but one of contentment. It was a feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction that I had won this
personal battle.

After my results, when I went back to my hometown, I had people who came up to me, pulled me close,
cupped my face in their hands and told me that they are so overwhelmed with joy as if their own son has
topped this exam. The happiness I sensed seeing their faces is much much more than what I had felt on
the day of my results. And in that moment I told myself this: all the effort, all the pain and all the
suffering was well worth it.

Today, at the end of my UPSC journey, I stand with a firm newfound belief: when you own your
failures, you become a better person. And when you work hard to overcome them, you win. And win
big.

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

10 Days to Mains: Don’t Be Intimidated. Be Inspired.

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The centre court at Wimbledon is a remarkable place. Throughout Wimbledon‘s history, on the day of
the finals, this hallowed arena has been witness to something extraordinary. Many young, promising
players who were expected to win the title simply buckled under the searing pressure. They were just too
intimidated by the occasion. On the other hand, the place gave birth to many unexpected heroes, who on
their biggest day at the centre court produced some of the finest tennis of their careers. That‘s because
they weren‘t intimidated. Instead, they chose to get inspired.

For lakhs of UPSC aspirants, one cannot emphasize the importance of the Mains exam. The significance
of these nine odd days is akin to the Wimbledon championships— if not more.

I had given this exam five times and each time I learnt something new about my strengths and
inadequacies— of what worked and what didn‘t. As you all take your Mains in ten days time, I want to
tell you ten things that helped me ace this exam.

1. This Mains might be your first shot, or that it might be your last attempt and you are really,
really desperate to crack it. Whatever it is, just don‘t raise the stakes so high. We rarely perform
to our potential under pressure. We give our best when we are in the moment, unmindful of the
outcome but fully focused on the present. This why it‘s so important to have a Zen Mindset. A
Zen mind is neither too psyched or excited nor too indifferent or overconfident. To be zen is to
be calm, composed and fully alert. That‘s the mindset you need to cultivate. I‘ve illustrated it in
the graphs below:

The Psyched Mind

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 The Apathetic Mind

The Zen Mind

1. In these ten days, dedicate at least a couple of days when you‘d write two tests on a single day.
This will train your body and mind to write for six hours a day so that in the final exam you
don‘t find the task overpowering.
2. To perform well on the day of the exam, revising the syllabus the day before is absolutely vital.
In the limited time you get, if you are unable to revise the entire paper, that‘s fine. Just try and
revise as much as you can without getting mired in a single topic. While revising, it‘s possible
that you might feel that you‘ve forgotten everything. Don‘t panic. You‘d be surprised how much
you will be able to recollect in the exam hall.
3. Once you are done with an exam, do not waste even a second in pointless speculation about the
marks, or the evaluation, or the difficulty of the paper. Every time you spend a moment
speculating, you cede the ground a little to your competitors.
4. Finish the paper in time, no matter what. You should realise that UPSC can change how it
distributes marks across questions, but it cannot change the 250 marks assigned to a paper. So
whatever be the number of questions or distribution of marks across those questions, your target
must be to write 80 mark worth answers in the first hour, another 80 in the second hour and 90 in
the final hour. This translates to 40 marks in the initial 30 minutes. So whether you start with 10
markers or 15 markers or 20 markers, aim to finish questions worth 40 marks in the first half-

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 hour and then repeat this process. Always have an eye on the clock and if you think you are
falling behind the time, accelerate.
5. It‘s possible that you may not do all the papers equally well. So if one particular exam does not
go as per your expectation, that‘s not much of a problem. The problem comes when you
endlessly ruminate over the mistakes you did and ponder on all the what-ifs. Don‘t do that
mistake. Once an exam gets over, make a clean rupture from it and focus on the next. Your
behaviour in these ten days must resemble a clockwork— ruthless, efficient and unemotional.
6. This advice might feel cliched, but it‘s probably the most important. We only realise the value of
health once we fall sick. Staying healthy during this last lap is more important than ever. Eat
healthy, stay hydrated and get adequate sleep. During my Mains, I always carried a thermos flask
full of tea and used to drink a couple of cups during the afternoon break. It used to really uplift
my senses. Such small things do matter.
7. When you are feeling tensed or if the anxiety is getting the better of you, practise controlled
breathing. I benefitted immensely from this NYTimes article. Whenever I felt restless, I used to
do controlled breathing exercises to ease my anxiety and lower my stress. Fidgety people among
you might find it helpful too.
8. In the previous 3-4 months, you read all you had to, and wrote all you could. Apart from the
books and the strategies, Mains is also about mental toughness. Mindset really matters. During
this time, your self-belief must be unshakeable.
9. Focus on the process, not the outcome. Your goal must not be about getting a rank in top 100, or
scoring 450+ in GS, or 300+ in optional. Your goal must be to write as well as you can for 20
questions in those 3 hours across all the papers. Have small targets. And then smash them. Final
success will inevitably follow.

In any fiercely competitive tournament, the final battle you face is always the most difficult, but also the
most rewarding. As you enter the arena on 28th September, the gravity of the occasion tries to
overwhelm you. But remember that you always a choice.

Like those heroes who emerged at Wimbledon, do not be intimidated. Be inspired.

With best wishes,

Anudeep.

The Unsung Heroes

Every war story has two parts to it: the victors and the vanquished. Such stories celebrate the champions,
yet they recount the fortitude and the grit of the conquered. UPSC is one such colossal battle— not only
of very high stakes but also of very fine margins. But what makes it distinct is, in this war, there are just
victors.

Heroes are created out of thin air and promising careers are decimated beyond repair. Victors are
cherished long after they cross the Rubicon while the vigour, valour and the valiance of the very many
brave martyrs simply die away— untold, unheard and unsung.

Story of Tragedy and Triumph

Dear All,
This is Aparajita (AIR 40, UPSC-CSE 2017).
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I haven‘t done a lot of public appearances or interviews because I have no special life-altering third-eye
opening sort-of Jnana to impart. A lot of other top rankers out there may have much better academic
advice to relay than I. I do however have a unique journey like everyone else, and here I‘m sharing
whatever it taught me.

I must warn you at the beginning of the article that it‘s going to be unapologetically long and I‘m
assuming it won‘t be too difficult a read, because by this time UPSC has taught us the importance of
Patience as a virtue. Also it is strictly not for educational purposes so read it as you would a story,
because we‘re all but stories in the end.

So once upon a time, I was born in a middle class family belonging to Banaras – The land of serpentine
lanes, the city of temples.. and now our honorable PM‘s constituency. My parents got married very late,
and it was thus decided that theirs would be a one-child family. Being the only child, and being the
eldest in the line of cousins, I was highly pampered by the entire extended family. Even though my
parents maintained high discipline in the house and never conceded to any of my unreasonable demands,
they always tried to give me the best of everything they could.

Despite this, I‘ve grown up with memories of guests sitting in my living room asking my parents in
hushed tones ―Ek hi baccha aur vo bhi ladki ?‖, which was followed by my parents dismissing such
brazenly indiscreet questions in the most politest manner possible and with a smile so accommodating
that I wish every girl was lucky enough to have such parents.

During the initial years I studied in a Hindi-medium school because my Nana Ji (maternal grandpa)
believed that, Hindi being my first language, I should have a decent command over it. Later on again on
his insistence, I was shifted to a Krishnamurti Foundation India school, the schooling-pattern of which
advocates that every child has his/her own strengths and judging children solely on the basis of
academics can be cruel to their psyche. They don‘t believe in undue academic competition, classes often
take place under the shade of the grand old banyan tree, nature walks are popular among both the
teachers and the students and very few people are chasing after a 90 percentile in their score cards.

Naturally, such an environment gave me a sense of freedom and my brain-waves were always tuned to
the frequency of what they say is ―Following one‘s heart‖. Again, it was my Nana who put the bug of
civil services inside my head, at a very young age of 8 when I wasn‘t very civil myself. Fast forward a
few years and things changed. I was graduating as a Chemical engineer from BIT Mesra, and was soon
to start my job. By societal yardsticks I was a good kid with a stable future ahead. By my own yardsticks
I was purely miserable – I had never been very fond of my grad subject, had applied for GATE and had
also taken CAT once (because all my friends were doing so). Akin to a sheep, I was going with the herd
– a version of myself I didn‘t particularly enjoy being.

Anyhow, job started. For the first time in my life I had a salary account, clearly in my head I was very
very rich. The work oscillated between Mumbai as the head office and other Plant locations and my final
posting was as the Dy. Manager (Environment) in a small plant in North UP. Being the only female
employee in the whole plant (there wasn‘t one even in the HR department ) brought me face to face with
many harsh truths and I was compelled to come to the conclusion that in order to change something for
the better one must not only have the drive and the knowledge but also the necessary resources that can
be deployed with promptness. This propelled me to give a serious thought to the civil services, and as a
lucky coincidence one of my colleagues who was also an aspirant at the time (Sushil Riyar – Now he‘s
serving in the IDAS) provided the guidance to kick-start my preparation.

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Therefore I tendered my resignation after over a year at my company and after spending 2-3 months at
home I came to Delhi. However, the atmosphere in Old Rajinder Nagar really put me off-track. The
commercial web of coachings, the sempiternal greed of brokers, the incalculable number of shops
selling incalculable number of yellow page-bound handouts threw me for a loop. Therefore I decided I
won‘t be joining a coaching for GS but having decided on history as my optional in which I didn‘t have
a background, I joined Baliyan‘s classes. Every evening for three months we would stand in a line to get
our identity cards checked. Sometimes the queue would extend outside the building and continue along
the road. Comically enough, it was a sight to behold and could make a layman wonder whether free food
was being distributed somewhere near the building.

After standing in the queue for several minutes, we would be allowed entry in the classroom where we
would sit crammed up for about 2 and a half hours taking notes, listening to people asking really absurd
questions(which happens in every class, I‘m sure) and in-between relishing Mister Baliyan‘s prophecies,
one of which was that within half a century, India and Pakistan would be reunited. As soon as the class
would get over and Baliyan Sir would exit like king after addressing a ―Sabha‖ of commoners, we
would rush to get out of the narrow exit and cause a commotion. However, the thing that upset me the
most is that the Aloo Tikkis and Golgappas in Delhi were highly overrated (Believe me, I‘ve tried
almost everywhere and Banaras serves much better chaat ..and man, who puts pomegranate seeds over
Aloo tikki anyway?!). Anyhow, to escape the hullabaloo of the locality, in the mornings I would go to
the American library at CP and watch Mrunal‘s videos I‘d saved offline, or read something else. An year
later when they enforced a time limit of four hours on the members, I had to settle for the libraries in Old
Rajinder Nagar itself.

One may evening as I was revising NCERT physical geography, the final results of 2015 were
announced. Artika Shukla (who also belongs to Banaras and who happens to be from the school from
where several of my friends have studied), had achieved the fourth rank. I was slightly proud, and
slightly inspired (It happens when someone you know, or you‘ve heard of, clears the exam). I doubled
my pace, yet the 2015 attempt was still highly disorganised. I couldn‘t systematise my preparation and
flunked the preliminary exam by 3 point something marks. I was miserable and highly scared at the
prospect of investing another year to the preparation cycle. My parents were largely supportive and so I
decided to give it another go.

Come 2016, I cleared Stage-1 and was ready for Stage-2. I was pretty confident that I would sail
through mains. Now I tend to keep a bit aloof so I didn‘t have a very big sample space of people to
consult before the written exam. Of the few people I asked, some told me that attempting a few
questions properly is a better idea than attempting all the questions in an average manner. I am
admittedly bad at time-management, so I hid behind that defeatist cover and readily took that advice. I
could hardly finish 16-17 questions in the test series and was scoring decently so I didn‘t even try to
work on this aspect – a mistake I own fully. Another problem that I was facing was a serious lack of
concentration (I‘ve had trouble concentrating since childhood). I tried to meditate and that worked to a
certain extent but I didn‘t keep up with that as well so the issue persisted and I had to pay a heavy price
for it while writing my optional Paper 1.

It so happened that in the school just adjacent to where my center was, the annual function was
underway and the sound was loud enough to distract me. I inaugurated the paper with maps and took 50
minutes to finish it – that made me panic. I won‘t go into the details, but I attempted 6 questions instead
of five. A lot of you may wonder where did I get the time for it to which I‘d have to admit that in my
haste and panic I did not keep a track of the number of questions I did. I just kept looking at my watch
every couple of minutes and writing the answers as one would write his/her will if they knew they had
9
only 2 minutes to live. They were highly compromised on the quality-front, the handwriting was barely
legible and it‘s embarrassing to admit but in the last question I had attempted I‘d written about half a
page for each 15 or 20-marker. Only when my paper was taken away and I‘d left the classroom did the
gravity of the blunder I‘d done dawned upon me. Had I realised it in even a minute before submitting the
paper I could have crossed the answer I was not satisfied with, but it was too late. I have a habit of
attempting question from the back and thus the questions at the beginning I always attempt last which
meant the 6th question was attempted best but since the first five were to be checked, that ruined my
chances further. I spent the break crying and completely sabotaged Paper 2 as well. I knew I wasn‘t
clearing mains when I came back.

Figuratively speaking, the period up to the results was the emotion of anxiety transformed into actual
time. I had filled the form for 2017, but as it happens with several aspirants, I couldn‘t bring myself to
open the books. The results were as expected. I had failed Stage-2 this time, by 14 marks. However this
failure changed something in me in a way which was cathartic. I became brutally honest with myself and
finally faced the truth, that I was fully responsible for failing and in fact, I deserved it. Up till that point I
was avoiding my flaws and was trying to ―make it to the list somehow‖ which meant that I wasn‘t
honestly working hard. The fact that my parents didn‘t raise a finger on my sincerity and pushed me to
take another attempt made me feel deeply ashamed of myself. I made a silent promise to myself that I
won‘t let my parents down this time.

Full-fledged preparation for Pre 2017 started in mid-march. At this point I would like to tell all those
who have failed in prelims more than once – Please don‘t blame yourself.. Pre is tough. At least for me,
it was always very very tough. There is just too much to study, and there‘s no dearth of sources. Say
you‘re happily reading CCRT or Nitin Singhania for Art and Culture, but 15 days before the exam you‘ll
be bombarded with handouts from Vajiram, GS Score, IAS Baba, Insights on India and you won‘t know
what to cover and what to leave. Same goes with every other subject. The havoc the innumerable
number of handouts create in a student‘s life is highly understated. The veritable mental Pao-Bhaaji can
be frustrating and exhausting and it made me want to run faster than Usain Bolt into nothingness.

Moving on – Immediately after taking both the papers of the Preliminary exam on June 18th, I googled
for the answer keys from which I calculated a total of 98-100 marks in the first paper. I couldn‘t have
qualified for mains with such a score. All my hopes were dashed. My friends were getting over 115 with
these keys, and I was probably the only one going to fail, I thought. Another year of hard work down the
drain. Waterworks started and just wouldn‘t stop. Helpless, I asked my mother what would I do if I
failed yet again – I had no job, no income, and 2.5 years of gap. I told her I felt so lost I wanted to kill
myself. She started crying too..how painful it must be for a mother to see her child lose one battle after
another. My parents told me they‘ve never doubted my capability and that I don‘t need to worry for a
thing as long as they are alive.

When the results came, the good news was that I had cleared Pre. Bad news was that I had wasted one
precious month loitering about the house and cribbing as to how I wouldn‘t be clearing. I request all of
you to please not waste time because you feel you may not get through based on the answer keys of the
coaching institutes, especially the ones which are too keen to publish them within an hour of the exams
getting over. You let that crucial time pass and you fall behind the others – take my word for it. Anyway
so I went back to the phantasmagoria of Rajinder Nagar and joined ForumIAS‘s test series for mains.
They were just starting out, so I‘d naturally assumed there would be sincerity in the initial year of
operation, and I was more or less right. For history I joined GS Score‘s test series. In a few articles here
and there I have already mentioned that I had trouble with structuring my answers and managing my
time. Even though I took only 8 tests for GS and 4 for history, I did improve a little on both these fronts.
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28th October arrived very fast and the the next few days passed quicker than the speed of light. I
breathed a sigh of relief, for the reason that barring one question each in GS-2 and GS-3 and a 20-
marker in Paper 1 of my optional subject, I had managed to cover the questions albeit in a ―Jaise-Taise‖
manner.

Almost satisfied, I went back to Banaras. My days began with a steaming hot cup of Adrak wali chai
with my parents and with Mohammed Rafi, Lata, Mukesh or Geeta Dutt playing in the background. Rest
of the day was spent carrying out my filial duties and catching up on news about the extended family
that I had missed because the Mains examination did not allow me long telephonic conversations with
my mother or father. Sometimes I would cook something which my parents happily ate in the name of
the progress of my culinary skills, no matter how bad the end product tasted. At other times I would
read, or paint. I mostly kept away from the guests who were usually exasperatingly curious about when I
would finally clear this exam..and if I‘m unable to, why don‘t I get a job and get married.

So the first few days passed nestled in the safety and comfort of my home, until one morning when my
mother (who‘d been struggling with sleepless nights for the past few days) complained that she just
couldn‘t breath and that she felt her heart was sinking. We desperately called up several hospitals and
begged them to send us an ambulance with oxygen support but every single one of them told me
ambulances weren‘t available and that I should make my own arrangements, while my mother gasped
for breath. An uncle who is a doctor, arranged a vehicle somehow, and we took Ma to a nearby private
hospital where the attendant told us in a very nonchalant manner that there was no vacant bed in the ICU
and that we‘d have to take the patient somewhere else. Again, after making a call to a few doctors we
knew, suddenly a bed in the ICU was available out of thin air. My Ma was finally admitted after a 3-
hour delay into the ICU and was kept under observation for a 72-hour period. We were told she had
suffered a bronchial spasm coupled with a heart attack and that chances of her recovering were a mere
32%. The same evening when she was awake and I went to see her in the ICU, she (being a professor
and the Principal of a degree college who was accustomed to going to work daily) asked me to call her
colleagues at work and ensure that all the administrative work was being carried out on time. She made
it through, but was shifted to the cardiac care unit for supervision where she became totally listless, kept
objecting to her being called ―Patient no. 4‖, and told me to take her home. We stayed in the hospital –
Days were spent buying medicines, injections etc and at night before sleeping I would set three alarms
for 1 AM, 3.30 AM and 5.30 AM to go check on her in the CCU. Mostly she was awake and would
smile from beneath her mask when she saw me. In the coming few days many people came to meet her
in the hospital. Dressed in the blue hospital gown, she would sit up straight and converse with them with
a poise only she had and a smile so charming which made the fact that she was in a hospital, seem like a
hollow lie.

On 29th November she was discharged but even at home she needed the oxygen cylinder and every 2-3
hours I would check her pulse and the dissolved oxygen levels in her blood. In the initial two days she
improved but then slowly her appetite decreased further, she needed the oxygen mask more often and
couldn‘t complete her sentences without falling out of breath. My father would watch TV with her, and I
would cook her things like Makhaane ki kheer
because she was sick of eating moong daal ki khichdi . She‘d eat a spoon or two, smile and tell me I‘d
prepared it well, but she couldn‘t eat further because she suffered from perpetual nausea. We decided to
re-admit her into a hospital – a government-run this time.

On December 11th, we reached the hospital at 11 AM but being true to the reputation of a Govt.
hospital, she could only be formally admitted by 2.30 PM. She hadn‘t eaten anything so I tried to feed
her juice but she threw up. She told us she was feeling very weak..my father re-assured her she‘d be
11
completely fit soon. At 4.30 PM I went home to get clothes and duvets for the night‘s stay at the
hospital. While on my way back and stuck in traffic, I got a call which said that she had suffered another
heart attack..a massive one this time. I remember wanting to get out of the car and running to her, but the
hospital was at the other end of the city. I felt helpless sitting in the car which refused to move given the
traffic. I made frantic calls to my father who was too stunned to understand the chaos around him. By
the time I reached she was being given injection after injections. When I rushed to her crying, she was
only half-conscious but when she saw me she agitated to remove all the tubes attached to her body. I
told her to be strong this one time and told her that Papa and I were there all the time by her side.

She looked at me helplessly and I felt angry at myself because I couldn‘t help her in any way possible.
By the time they shifted her into the ICU again, shehad lost her pulse. They tried to revive her but they
couldn‘t. My father and I kept looking at the monitor in the hope that her pulse would return. It didn‘t. I
‘d lost my beautiful, kind mother, and my father had lost his loving wife and best friend. A big part of
whatever gives life to us, perished for both Pa and I permanently, never to return. Life has changed
much.. and today everything I see reminds me of her, and how in every single breath I wish I could see
her smile, listen to her voice or could get her lap to rest my head on as I often used to do. I won‘t have
her around to see the milestones of my life and that pains me like shards of glass poking through the
lungs. The only consolation is that, being her daughter I have a bit of that perfect woman in my own
self.

Days passed but by this time, I had pretty much resigned to circumstances. My appetite reduced
notoriously, I was spending my days gazing into the wall and when I went to bed I wished I wouldn‘t
wake up the next day. I was now ready to welcome failure with open arms and this time I was recklessly
indifferent to the possibilities of the future. The written examination‘s results came on January 10th. I
had cleared, but hardly anything could get much of a reaction out of me. Interview was scheduled for
March 22nd, and though I acted as if I was concerned (to keep up appearances), I was least bothered. By
mid-February however, It occurred to me that I hadn‘t taken any mocks and meanwhile I also hadn‘t
filled the form for next year because I was too drained to be sucked into the vapid whirlpool of UPSC
again. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea – I began to panic. I was severely under-prepared
so I decided to leave for Delhi on February 25th. I went to attend a few mocks most of which didn‘t go
great.

One of them was a particularly distressing experience because It felt like I was visiting a shrink who was
doing a psychoanalysis on me, rather than giving me anything concrete as to how I could optimise my
marks in the interview room. I consider myself to be a fairly confident person but I came back home
confused, not knowing what to do next. My self-worth had more or less shattered, but my friends
assured me there was still enough time and I was bound to make it (I‘m a little lucky in the Friends‘
department). Also since many alumnae of my college have previously landed an under-100 rank in this
exam, a good-humoured senior reminded me how I ought to get a double-digit rank, because I had a
legacy to keep. Meanwhile I also chanced upon a Telegram group where I found some wonderful people
I could discuss probable questions with and I can‘t thank my stars enough, for my confidence-level shot
up faster than any SpaceX rocket ever built. I studied whatever I could in that short span of time and
regular self-assurance was the only fuel I ran on, for the next few days.

March 22, AN session. I got up, listened to the morning AIR news, talked to my father, like a total non-
professional at saree wearing I put on the ensemble I was supposed to wear, and headed with my friends
to UPSC where my fate would be decided. We filled out the documents and were led to a colonial style
round waiting hall, where most of us lingered around the tables allotted to us, in groups of four or five.
For a while I talked to other fellow table-mates, ate the chocolate I had brought with myself, and then
12
looked around to observe other candidates and estimate their percentages of nervousness or confidence.
To calm my nerves I drank 4 small cups of vending machine-tea while waiting, and as a sign of
obeisance to my future panel, I kept standing so as to not crush my saree and leave a poor first
impression when I enter the interview room (Yes those are the kinds of thoughts that cross your mind in
those final moments). I was the first one to go. Mr. Bhim Sain Bassi was the chairman. The interview
went phenomenally horrendous (You can find my interview transcript on Mrunal sir‘s website). I came
out feeling useless and told my friends(who were waiting outside all this while), that I may not make it
to the list but I might as well give them a treat because at least I‘d be out of this vicious cycle soon.
Whoever I narrated the interview to, asked me what my back-up plan was (I had none). When I went
back home my days were spent in anticipation of the result amidst the speculations fuelled by ―Insider
information‖. To keep myself distracted I set a goal of reading one novel per day and from morning to
night I remained engrossed in the stories. There‘s perhaps no two companions more suited for me than
solitude and books. Even though I was getting very little sleep, it helped immensely in calming my
nerves and controlling my anxiety levels.

On April 27th, when the results came out, I found my name on the first page. I was thankful not for a
comfortable rank, but for the fact that I won‘t be unemployed here on. As I write this, over a month has
passed since the results were declared, and in that short period there‘s been a marked change in the
attitude of the people around me. My father whom I still sometimes catch unawares gazing at Ma‘s
portrait hung in the living room, has a reason to be happy, and he‘s been entertaining calls and guests
since. Every single day I am humbled with the number of emails and messages I get from my batch-
mates and former colleagues, telling me how proud they are of my achievement. My driver bhaiyya
makes sure he opens the door for me. Suddenly relatives I didn‘t know existed have been bombarding
my phone with calls and texts. Nowadays I‘ve been hearing more of ―I thought you‘ll be busy‖ or ―I
didn‘t want to disturb you‖ and it makes me sad when people have to think twice before approaching
me.. Some have started addressing me as ―Ma‘am‖ more frequently (No I don‘t enjoy it)..Then there are
also people who, with renewed vigour have taken it upon themselves to worry more about my marriage
than my own father. A few co-aspirants have pinged me asking for that ―Special ingredient‖ in my
preparation strategy that worked for me, and have been disappointed to find out that there is no such
magic formula.. I‘ve done nothing extraordinary – I‘ve just been consistent with whatever ordinary
things I‘ve done, but people expect me to have a ―selling-point‖ and they refuse to believe when I say I
don‘t have any.

My friends thankfully, haven‘t changed one bit and they make sure I have my feet firmly on the ground
at all times, though they‘ve become highly refined at pulling my leg more often than not.

As for myself, I feel ―normal‖/―regular‖…I can‘t find better words to explain it. Perhaps I can‘t locate
where the much talked about ―Cloud Nine‖ is. So many things have changed fundamentally yet the days
are progressing in a changeless manner – which is perhaps the most surreal thing about life. Most of my
time is spent traveling and meeting old friends, reading or sleeping. It‘s smouldering hot right now in
my city, so while at home, an inveterate laziness and ennui has taken over me. Sometimes I get up to
decide the number of sarees/suits I will take with me to Mussoorie, but soon I get lazy and banish that
thought, thinking to myself – ―There‘s still time.‖

In the past couple of years (and especially in the past few months) I‘ve come closer to the realisation
that we control very little of what‘s going on around us…we‘ll be tossed and turned by life‘s course and
we‘ll land wherever it takes us. As observers the quicker we learn to let go of our egos and our rigid
ideas as to how things should be, the better we learn to swim swiftly through the currents and reach
ashore.
13
Trying times are a good teacher, and help us prioritise the correct set of people – Parents always come
first (or next only to God, if you‘re a believer), good friends are the biggest blessings, and the rest of it is
just noise. I‘ve also identified two sets of people — Those with immense grit who don‘t let the
circumstances overpower them and go through the grind with a motivation inspired by the success of
people around them, and then those who let emotions like jealousy get the better of them and turn bitter.

It‘s our choice and ours alone which set to belong to – whether we choose to fight the adverse
circumstances or become pawns to it. As is the case with this exam, this time over as well many of my
friends whom I was expecting I would attend the FC with, haven‘t cleared. Most have told me to fret
not, because they‘ll work harder this time and we‘ll catch up next year in Mussoorie. Even though
disappointed, they‘ve handled the result with dignity and maturity because they know how success and
failure are the two sides a of the same coin and they understand very well how precarious this exam can
be.

It‘s no secret that the civil services examination makes you work very hard. But what the onlookers
don‘t see is the way it tests the mettle of your character time and again. To its credit, the preparation
permanently alters the way you see and approach things and puts you on a life-long learning curve. If
you‘ve worked for it with honesty, and if your stars are perfectly aligned you‘ll be in, but if they aren‘t –
try again. Despite everything, the exam is not the end, but only a part of the larger scheme of things in
life..it‘s definitely not the parameter to judge your abilities.

Those who‘ve cleared can make themselves useful to the larger population via this medium, and those
who haven‘t will find other ways (may be better ones) to be productive. Either way, don‘t let it consume
you..don‘t let success get to your head, and don‘t let failures pull you down.

Be your own master. Show it who the boss is. But whatever you do, and wherever you are, never forget
where you came from and give it your all to leave this world a better place than when you arrived here.

The end goal is always to become a better human, no matter if you‘re a ranker or you‘re not. The path to
success may be riddled with sacrifice and pain, but in the wise words of Thanos : ― The hardest choices
require the strongest wills.‖

I‘ll leave you with that thought.

Wishing you patience, much happiness and victory

Aparajita

Writing a Good Essay in UPSC Mains, Explained

Novelist Stephen King put it beautifully when he said, ―I write to find out what I think.‖

Writing is a window to your thought process. What you write on paper will tell the reader how you
think, how you argue and the way you substantiate your viewpoint. This is why for most competitive
examinations and academic entrance tests, essay is mandatory.
14
In the Civil Services Exam too, we have a paper worth 250 marks, equivalent to a General Studies
paper. Despite its importance, essay paper often does not get the attention it deserves from aspirants.
First timers think they will write an excellent essay in the final exam itself, whereas experienced
aspirants believe that since they had already studied a ton for GS, it will alone be enough to write a good
essay. This is a fatal miscalculation.

I was one of those who made these errors in the past, and it is not a coincidence that I scored only 100 in
CSE 2015. But in 2017, I devoted adequate time to this paper. I collected useful quotes, prepared notes
and even made rough essay drafts for frequently asked topics. All this effort in essay paper helped me
score 155.

What follows is an elaborate post on how you should tackle the Essay paper. I‘ve organised the content
as follows:

1. What UPSC says about the essay paper

2. How and from where to prepare?
3. Improving language and expression
4. On subheadings and rough drafts
5. What you must avoid
6. How to write a powerful introduction?
7. Developing the content of an Essay
8. Substantiating your arguments
9. How to conclude an Essay
10. My notes, quote collection and sample essays

What UPSC says about the essay paper

“Candidates may be required to write essays on multiple topics. They will be expected to keep closely to
the subject of the essay, to arrange their ideas in an orderly fashion, and to write concisely. Credit will
be given for effective and exact expression.”

Essay distinguishes itself from GS in the sense that in GS, marks will be awarded purely for content. But
in essay, examiners will pay special attention to not just the content, but also the language, coherence
and the way you organise your write-up.
So you must take adequate care to arrange your ideas properly and not commit any fundamental spelling
or grammatical errors.

How and from where to prepare?

Most of the content you write in Essay will come from your GS preparation. Apart from this, the
following sources will help:

 Reading non-fiction helps you develop a matured thought process. Apart from imparting
knowledge, they will also let you come across good figures of speech, art of argumentation,
powerful rhetoric and unique content etc. For example, in an essay on Artificial Intelligence, I
took arguments from Yuval Harari‘s Homo Deus to argue that AI is an imminent threat to
humanity. Or if you read Why Nations Fail, a book replete with examples, you will understand
the importance of innovation, political and economic freedoms in propelling a nation forward. So
my suggestion is, apart from UPSC related material, develop the hobby of reading non-fiction
books. I do not mean to suggest that you should start reading one non-fiction book per topic to
15
 get good scores in Essay, but reading them occasionally in your free time will benefit you in the
long run.
 Referring to specific magazines: For certain topics, you can refer to specific issues of
Yojana/EPW/Economic Survey etc. Example: for an essay on tribal issues or public health, you
can go through specific issues of these magazines for getting the latest statistics (IMR, MMR,
malnutrition levels etc) and also about the positives and criticisms of govt schemes in that sector.
 Collecting good stories/anecdotes and quotes: Anecdotes, quotes and real life stories you see
in newspapers and books which can be used in essay should be noted down. In most of my
essays, I used to start with a relevant story or an anecdote that has the essay topic as its
underlying theme. Apart from these, I also used a couple of quotes of eminent persons.
 List of quotes, anecdotes I collected are available in the link at the end of this article.

Improving language and expression

Language in essay must be simple and clear with as little jargon as possible. If you want to use complex
definitional terms such as, say, ‗Constitutionalism‘ or ‗Sanskritisation‘ please define it in sentence just
before you use it. Examiner will also understand clearly what you want to convey. Clear writing is clear
thinking. And that is what any reader looks for.

Keep your sentences short and powerful. Long, winding sentences makes it difficult to read and
understand. If you tack on one clause after another through conjunctions, what you get is a bad sentence
sprawl.

Example of a bad sentence sprawl:

At the end of World War 2, on the one hand, while capitalism was successfully championed by the
nations in North America and Europe, on the other hand, it was USSR that put Communism at the
forefront due to which there was an ideological clash between the the two superpowers which had led to
proxy wars in various parts of the globe, a nuclear arms race and a rapid deterioration of the security of
the world.

By the time readers finish reading it, they will lose their breath and the point of the sentence. So I had a
simple rule: If you run out of your breath while reading a sentence, then probably you will have to break
it into two.

Rewriting the aforementioned example after breaking it into two (which makes it much easier to read
and comprehend):

After World War 2, while the North American and European nations championed capitalism, USSR put
communism at the forefront. This ideological clash between the superpowers led to several proxy wars,
a nuclear arms race and a rapid deterioration of world security.

Vocabulary

There is no need to memorise complex words for writing a good essay. But an occasional use of a
powerful word, or a good phrase definitely gives your write-up an edge.

Also, I believe that learning numerous words by rote will not make them stick in your brain for long.
The best way to build your vocabulary is by reading non-fiction and English newspapers. While reading
16
these, if you come across a good turn of phrase, or a word that you don‘t recognise, please note it down
in a book, find its meaning and understand the context in which the word was used. This helps in long
term memory. Having a dictionary app on your phone also helps.

Building vocabulary is a slow process, but with consistency, anyone can become better at using an
expansive set of words.

Subheadings & Rough Drafts

We can be a little innovative in our subheadings. Instead of bland subheadings such as ‗Benefits of
Nuclear Energy‟ we can use ―Nuclear Energy: Promise or Peril?‟ Similarly, for the essay on Social
Media, instead of writing ‗Advantages and Disadvantages of Social Media‘, I wrote “Social Media: A
Double Edged Sword”

You can find my collection of a few such subheadings in the link to my notes, given at the end of the
article.

I also prepared a rough draft for a few essay topics (link given at the end). You may need to modify the
structure as per the demand of the question.

What you must avoid in Essay

 Do not focus excessively only on one point, or one dimension (such as the historical or political
aspect) Your essay needs to be expansive and multi-dimensional.
 During preparation, we read a lot and it‘s understandable that we feel strongly about certain
topics. And since essay offers freedom to write, it‘s very easy to get carried away with such a
topic. But make sure that you write what is asked, not what you know or feel like. No mann ki
baat. Always stick to the subject of the topic. It helps to read the question in the midst of your
essay to ensure that you are not steering away from the topic.
 If you are not comfortable writing about abstract philosophical topics (I am terrible at writing
them), avoid such questions. Your choice of topic has no bearing on the marks and that is why,
selecting an unpopular topic just for the sake of it is unwise. Also, if there‘s a technical term in
the question, be doubly sure that you understand it correctly. For instance, in 2014, there was a
question on ‗standard tests‘, which is a technical term. I misunderstood it and wrote a generic
essay. I got 112.
 When you take a final stand on an issue, it‘s best to avoid extreme or highly unpopular opinions.
We are free to have any opinion in the privacy of our minds, but in UPSC essay why take that
risk? For instance, in an essay on Capital Punishment, in the main body content, you should
present a case for both abolition and retention. But when you take a stance, it‘s best to be an
abolitionist.
 No ranting. You might be a great fan of Karl Marx, but if there‘s a question on Capitalism, do

not rant or rail against it You must present both the positives and negatives of Capitalism
and end the essay on a balanced note.
 Do not dedicate disproportionate amount of time for the first essay and scamper through the
second. Both carry equal marks, so please invest equal time.

How to transition smoothly from one para to the next

17
This can be done in three ways.

Through a link sentence at the end of a para:

Here, at the end of a para, you write a sentence that signals to the examiner what‘s coming next. For
example, let‘s say you have just written a para about the threat posed by Artificial Intelligence (AI) to
jobs. At the end of that para you can write a link sentence— “Further, we must be mindful of the fact
that Artificial Intelligence poses a major challenge not just economically, but also ethically.” And in the
next para, you can write about the ethical issues concerning AI.

Through a question:

Instead of a link sentence, you can also add a question at the end of a para so that examiner‘s attention is
helplessly carried to the next. To take the similar example as above, the question can be something
like— “Thus we have examined the threat posed by AI to our economy, but what about the challenges
brought by AI to our ethics and morals?” And in the next para, you can write about the ethical issues
concerning AI.

Signalling the shift at the start of next paragraph:

Here you can simply add a word or two at the beginning of a para that signals a shift in your subtopic.
For example in an essay on Globalisation, let‘s say you have just written a para about its historical
evolution and impact. You can start the next para with something like— ―Politically too, globalisation
has had a tremendous impact……‖ This way examiner immediately knows what to expect.

These steps will ensure that the transition between paragraphs is not abrupt.

How to write a good Introduction to your Essay?

Essay introduction can be:

a fictitious incident or story (where you introduce a character);

a real life anecdote;
a quote; or
a simple definition of the words in the question (not recommended in Essay)

In GS, definitional approach is a great way to introduce your answers. But in essay, they are rather stale,
lacking in any human element. I always believe that a good way to start your essay is to have that touch
of humanity and warmth in your introduction.

In my Mains exam, this was my introduction to the essay ‗Destiny of a nation is shaped in its classroom‘

“The year was 1945. Towards the end of a gruesome world war, the world powers decided to carve up
the Korean peninsula along the 38th parallel.

“Before partition, North and South Korea might have been homogeneous in every respect, but after the
division, they steered onto different paths. While schools in the North chose to „educate‟ their children
in the worship of a cult leader, ideological indoctrination and servility, its southern counterpart focused
on liberal education, innovation and economic growth.
18
“Today, almost seven decades later, the difference in the fates of these people and the trajectories of
both these nations cannot be more stark. One is known for gross violation of human rights, while the
other a champion of liberal democracy. One is known for gut-wrenching poverty, while the other
unbridled prosperity.

“This only proves the age old adage that the destiny of a nation is indeed shaped in its classrooms.”

Similarly, for the Social Media essay, my introduction sought to bring to the fore the paradox of Social
Media. I wrote on how social media was leveraged to crowdsource help and rescue during Chennai
floods in 2015. At the same time, I mentioned how it was used nefariously in 2012 to cause mass exodus
of northeast people from Bangalore. And taking cue from this introduction, in the main body, I
discussed about the inherent selfishness and altruism associated with social media.

These real life stories, anecdotes and incidents are everywhere in our books and newspapers. So when
you come across them, note down and ponder as to how you can use them in your essay.

Developing the Main Content from the Topic

This is like spinning the web from a thread. Depending on the topic, you can choose among the
following options that fits best.

 Temporal: Past, present and future

 Sectoral: Media, Science & Tech, Business, Sports, Religion, Politics, Administration etc
 Walks of Life: Individual, Family, Professional workplace, Society, Community, National,
Global
 Problem & Solution: Concept (historical evolution+status), benefits, problems, solutions
 Standard: Social, Political, Economical, Administrative, International, Environmental,
Historical, Scientific, Security/Defence, Legal

Example: for a topic like “Has Globalisation delivered on its promise?” I find the problem & solution
method an apt way to develop your narrative. So choose as per the question.

Substantiating your arguments

In the main body of the essay, each para must have an argument or an idea and a reasoning to back that
argument. You can substantiate it through a real-life example, a statistic, an authentic committee or
organisational report etc.

For example, if you are arguing that Capital punishment is an expensive form of justice, you should be
able to given an example or a statistic or Law Commission‘s opinion as to how the subjects of death
penalty are overwhelmingly from poor communities.

Statistics, examples, expert opinions and constitutional provisions are crucial and they make your
arguments authoritative.

Concluding an Essay

Conclusion needs to be on a futuristic, optimistic note. You need to summarise the complete essay in 3-4
sentences, after which you can write your vision for future.
19
You can source some useful terms from the speeches of PM Modi. Phrases like Sabka saath sabka vikas,
Reform-Perform-Transform, Building A New India etc can come handy. Rhetoric, lofty expressions,
constitutional ideals, Sanskrit slokas and quotes are a good way to conclude your essay.

But suppose in your introduction, if you had written about a fictitious character, then it‘s always
advisable to end your write-up with a reference to that character. It gives a sense of completeness to the
essay.

My Notes

Readers should keep in mind that these notes are written rather haphazardly (I mean who makes notes
thinking that in future, they might have to make them public :D) They are fragmented in certain parts
and illegible at others, so you may not be able to comprehend them completely. But nevertheless, I hope
you take home something useful.

Link to handwritten notes:

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jmVMGOzAk2d9B5Y0HQ9XpVF5Mh2IXGku

Quote collection:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jk71jLao60hHwJoTuGYaIDgJWccxa5Xn

List of Topics one needs to prepare:

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1q0W0PeH-80EKt6ucJTFOVPUlmXvCIzd-

Sample Essay:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jqfUi1FXdG0icBdJpdQvwH1wlAizCMvo

Until next time,

Anudeep.

How to conquer GS in UPSC Mains, Explained

As you start reading the books I mention here for GS mains, please keep the following points in mind:

1. Along with these books, get a printout of the syllabus and read it carefully. Your final aim must
be: for each topic mentioned in the syllabus, you should have enough content to write a 250-
word answer.
2. Go through the past five years‘ question papers to understand the breadth and depth of questions
UPSC usually asks. It‘ll give you a good perspective of what‘s important and what‘s not.
3. Use the internet extensively, especially for topics like Science and Tech. Your target must be to
gain knowledge, be it through books or through the internet.
4. For all subjects, you have to superimpose current affairs over it, especially for GS-2 and GS-3.
For both these papers, current affairs form the nucleus. You will inevitably do a lot of reading on
the internet, so use Evernote to organise and highlight content like this.

20
5. Give adequate time for revision. Without it, you will not be able to recollect whatever you may
have read. So please dedicate enough time to it, whether you are giving a mock test or the actual
exam.
6. Many aspirants commit one fundamental mistake: they read and revise, over and over, but never
practise. Remember that the examiner checking your copy will have no idea about the number of
books you‘ve read or the number of hours you‘ve slogged. Your answers are all that he has to
judge you. So it makes sense to learn it, practise it and perfect it.
7. Mains exam demands not only our memory and intelligence but also endurance. If you lack prior
practice, writing relentlessly for 6 hours a day and do this for 5 days will cause both mental and
physical fatigue. The only way to overcome it is to practice enough before the final exam.
8. General Studies demands only a peripheral understanding of an expansive set of topics. So it‘s
important that you try to gain minimum sufficient knowledge over a diverse set of subjects rather
than obsessively focussing on one topic. For instance, it doesn‘t make sense to read World
History for three months at the expense of all other subjects. Always maintain that fine balance
between all the topics and don‘t get imprisoned in one.
9. In GS, there will be very few questions where you will have absolutely no clue. Even if you only
have a vague idea, write those generic points. For instance, in last year‘s GS-1 paper, for the
question on Malay peninsula, I knew no specific fact except a vague idea that Singapore had a
partition story similar to India. So I just wrote a generic answer comprising of problems such as
ethnic strife, insurgency, and economic collapse. The examiner checking my copy might have
given 2-3 marks for it, which I am sure any aspirant would gladly take.
10. You must develop the skill to speed read a committee or an organisation‘s report on your
computer (reading online saves you a lot of time) and highlight important lines as you read
along. In the second reading, this highlighted portion is what you need to revise. It should look
something like this.
11. In GS papers, map of India is your most effective tool for illustration. For example, I drew India
maps and labelled relevant parts for questions on river linkage (GS-3), North-East insurgency
(GS-3), Inland navigation (GS-1), India‘s 18th-century fragmented polity (GS-1) etc. Practise it
enough so that you are able to draw and label it under 60 seconds.
12. If you are taking a test series, please give those tests with all the seriousness of the final UPSC
exam. In the mock test, if you take 10-15 additional minutes to finish the paper, you are cheating
no one except yourself. Observe strict time limits.
13. You will never feel content with your Mains preparation and there is always a nagging tendency
to just keep reading and procrastinate writing answers or skip an upcoming test. You have to
overcome this reluctance through conscious effort. Suppose before a mock test if you were
unable to finish the syllabus, you can postpone your test by a day or two, but don‘t skip it
altogether.
14. Perfectionism is your enemy. If you keep referring to countless sources to make that ―perfect
notes‖, if you keep postponing your mock tests in order to write ―perfect tests‖, this mentality
will bring you to ruin. Getting a good score in Mains is about attempting all questions to which
some answers are excellent, some good and many above average. So instead of waiting for that
elusive perfection, start imperfect and then keep improving.
15. When you are buying coaching material, always ask yourself: ―what new is this material adding
to my preparation?‖ If you can‘t answer that question convincingly, then the material probably
isn‘t really useful.
16. Just because I am AIR-1, it does not mean that my notes are the best or that this book list is the
last word. If you have been studying some other material, that‘s fine, too. To succeed in this
exam, the source of material is not important. What‘s important is you to understand the
concepts, memorise the facts well and have a firm grip over the entire syllabus.
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 The Foundation Course Begins
“Officers‟ Mess of this academy is not a casual place. It is an institution. When you are here, you must
be proper in your attire, polite in demeanour, and must always uphold this institution‟s decorum and
dignity.”

These lines from the introductory session here at LBSNAA, Mussoorie are still ringing in my head as I
begin my Foundation Course (FC) at this academy. This 100-day course, mandated for all new civil
service recruits, is designed to instill not just the academic knowledge, but also the discipline and life
skills expected of a civil servant. We are taught history and polity, law and economics, administration
and management. But these are hardly the things that make this academy special.

It‘s only when you sit in the auditorium listening to the course faculty speak about the rich history of the
academy and its institutions, you truly appreciate this place‘s eminence and realise how lucky and
privileged you are to be sitting there.

While preparing for the Civil Service Exam, every aspirant, at one point or the other, dreams of being at
this academy. I wasn‘t any different. For years, I thought and imagined myself walking in these
hallowed portals. In April 2015, when I had the chance to visit LBSNAA as a participant for the Inter-
Service Meet, I looked at this place‘s sheer grandeur and wondered longingly, ―Will I ever revisit this
academy as one of its own?‖ After more than three years of endless wait, the day did arrive. On 26th
August 2018, as I stepped into the academy, I had imagined the journey to be emotionally charged.
Truth be told, it wasn‘t to be. Instead of the surge of emotion I expected, the experience was rather
mundane.

It‘s only a few days into the course that I‘m able to appreciate the feeling of being a trainee at this
exceptional place. So much history is embedded in every corner that all I have right now is a sense of
fulfillment and gratitude to everyone who had helped me reach here.

As I begin this new journey, I feel thankful for my parent service, the IRS (Customs & Indirect Taxes)
for it had given me many close friendships. I‘ll especially cherish my time spent with my batchmates
playing football and travelling to various Customs and Central Excise offices across India.

For all the perceived inadequacies that one may have about the job as a taxman, my stint in the IRS has
taught me a lot— from how to make a file noting to how to conduct a review meeting, from learning to
interpret a tax law, to writing a tax judgement, from earning government revenue to administering a
government office. It‘s been such an exciting, enriching journey. I have no doubt that, even in my new
job, the experience I gained during these four years would be priceless.The next 100 days at FC are
going to be glorious.

What do I look forward to? The mountain treks, the camaraderie, the friendships, the disciplined life,
and most importantly, the joy of learning.

I‘ve always enjoyed interacting with people who have done extraordinary work in their respective fields.
Hearing them speak is equivalent to reading a book. I eagerly look forward to all the talks at the
academy by eminent speakers from diverse professions— former and current civil servants,
constitutional authorities, politicians, authors, academicians, CEOs and NGOs.

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I also promised myself to teach myself one new skill during these 100 days. I declare it here so that you
can hold me accountable at the end of my FC and so I am pushed to pursue it sincerely.

Elon Musk once said this— “We need things in life that are exciting and inspiring. Life can‟t just be
about solving some awful problem. There have to be reasons to get up in the morning.”

Right now, every morning, I feel that excitement.

Until next time,

Anudeep.

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