Amy’s View

By David Hare

Amy: You never saw it. Dominic was funny and gentle. Ambition destroyed him, that's
all. Because he thinks that the world of the media matters. he actually thinks that it's real.
So it's been harder to talk to him... for years it's been harder to reach him. It's true. So he's
gone off with someone who cares about photos in magazines and opinion columns, and
all of those dud London things. But that doesn't mean the man was alwyas contemptible.
It doesn't mean I shouldn't have been with him at all. it just means... oh, look... the odds
were against us. But i happen to hink it was well worth a try. (Her anger has turned to
disress, the tears starting to run down her cheek.) Of course I knew... do you think I'm an
idiot? I always sensed: one day this man will trade up. He'll cash me in and he'll get a
new model. I always felt it would come. these men, they wait. They wait till they're ready.
You make them secure. Then, of course, when you've built the statue... that's when they
kick the ladder away. But I did know it. I did it knowingly. It was my choice.

ANTIGONE
A monologue from the play by Sophocles

NOTE: This monologue is reprinted from Greek Dramas. Ed.

Bernadotte Perrin. New York: D. Appleton and Company, 1904.

ANTIGONE: Tomb, bridal chamber, eternal prison in the caverned rock, whither I go to
find mine own, those many who have perished, and whom Persephone hath received
among the dead! Last of all shall I pass thither, and far most miserably of all, before the
term of my life is spent. But I cherish good hope that my coming will be welcome to my
father, and pleasant to thee, my mother, and welcome, brother, to thee; for, when you
died, with mine own hands I washed and dressed you, and poured drink-offerings at your
graves; and now, Plyneices, 'tis for tending thy corpse that I win such recompense as this.
And yet I honoured thee, as the wise will deem, rightly. Never had I been a mother of
children, or if a husband had been mouldering in death, would I have taken this task upon
me in the city's despite. What law, ye ask, is my warrant for that word? The husband lost,
another might have been found, and child from another, to replace the first-born; but,
father and mother hidden with Hades, no brother's life could ever bloom for me again.
Such was the law whereby I held thee first in honour; but Creon deemed me guilty of
error therein, and of outrage, ah brother mine! And now he leads me thus, a captive in his
hands; no bridal bed, no bridal song hath been mine, no joy of marriage, no portion in the
nurture of children; but thus, forlorn of friends, unhappy one, I go living to the vaults of
death. And what law of Heaven have I transgressed? Why, hapless one, should I look to
the gods any more--what ally should I invoke--when by piety I have earned the name of
impious? Nay, then, if these things are pleasing to the gods, when I have suffered my
doom, I shall come to know my sin; but if the sin is with my judges, I could wish them no
fuller measue of evil than they, on their part, mete wrongfully to me.

The Tempest
By William Shakespeare.
Ariel is an androgynous airy spirit (It can take male or female forms.) It has just
returned from a task Prospero sent it to perform, a tempest. In this monologue Ariel
relates the story to Prospero, taking the opportunity to brag.

ARIEL:
All hail great master! grave sir, hail! I come
To answer thy best pleasure; be't to fly,
To swim, to dive into the fire, to ride
On the curl'd clouds, to thy strong bidding task
Ariel and all his quality.

Perform'd to point the tempest thy bade me.

I boarded the king's ship; now on the beak,
Now in the waist, the deck, in every cabin,
I flam'd amazement: sometime I'd divide,
And burn in many places; on the topmast,
The yards and boresprit, would I flame distinctly,
Then meet, and join. Jove's lightnings, the precursors
O' th' dreadful thunder-claps, more momentary
And sight-outrunning were not: the fire and cracks
Of sulphurous roaring the most mighty Neptune
Seem to besiege, and make his bold waves tremble,
Yea, his dead trident shake!!

Not a soul but felt a fever of the mad, and play'd

Some tricks of desperation. All but mariners
Plung'd in the foaming brine, and quit the vessel,
Then all afire with me: the King's son, Ferdinand,
With hair-upstaring,-then like reeds, not hair-
Was the first man that leap'd, cried, "Hell is empty,
And all the devils are here!!"

Little Shop of Horrors

By Howard Ashman

Audrey - the girl, not the plant - has lived her entire life in Skid Row, and dated a
bunch of guys who have abused her. and here she speaks of what she has always
wanted from life.

AUDREY:

I dream of a place where we could be together at last... It's just a daydream of

mine. A little development that I dream of. Just off the interstate in a little suburb,
far, far from urban Skid Row. The sweetest, greenest place - where everybody has
the same little lawn out front and the same little flagstone patio out back. And all the
houses are so neat and pretty... 'Cause they all look just alike. Oh, I dream about it
all the time. Just me. And the toaster. And a sweet little guy - like Seymour...

Crimes of the Heart

by: Beth Henley

Years of living married without any return of love from her husband, Babe begins to
have an affair with a sixteen year old black boy, Willie Jay. When she is denied this hope
of love, her last string is cut and she shoots her husband. In this monologue, she is
relating this story to her sister. (spoken in a southern drawl if possible)

Babe: After we did it, we were just standing around on the back porch playing with Dog
(her pet dog). Well, suddenly Zackery comes from around the side of the house. And he
startled me 'cause he's supposed to be away at the office, and there he is coming from
round the side of the house. Anyway, he says to Willie Jay, "Hey, boy, what are you doing
back here?" And I say, "He's not doing anything. You just go on home, Willie Jay! You
just run right on home." Well, before he can move, Zackery comes up and knocks him
once right across the face and then shoves him down the porch steps, causing him to skin
up his elbow real bad on that hard concrete. Then he says, "Don't you ever come around
her again, or I'll have them cut out your gizzard!" Well, Willie Jay starts crying- these
tears come streaming down his face-then he gets up real quick and runs away, with Dog
following off after him. After that, I don't remember too clearly; let's see? I went on into
the living room , and I went right up to the davenport and opened the drawer where we
keep the burglar gun? I took it out. Then I - I brought it up to my ear. That's right. I put it
right inside my ear. Why I was gonna shoot off my own head! That's what I was gonna
do. Then I heard the back door slamming and suddenly, for some reason, I thought about
Mama? how she'd hung herself. And here I was about ready to shoot myself. Then I
realized-that's right, I realized how I didn't want to kill myself! And she-she probably
didn't want to kill herself. She wanted to kill him, and I wanted to kill him, too. I wanted
to kill Zackery, not myself. 'Cause I-I wanted to live! So I waited for him to come on into
the living room. Then I held out the gun, and I pulled the trigger, aiming for his heart but
getting him in the stomach. (pause) It's funny that I really did that.

The Marriage of Bette and Boo

By: Christopher Durang

Enter Bette, still in her wedding dress. In the following speech, and much of the time,
Bette talks cheerfully and quickly, making no visible connections between her
statements.)

Bette: Hurry up, Boo. I want to use the shower. (Speaks to the audience, who seems to be
her great friend:) First I was a tomboy. I used to climb trees and beat up my brother Tom.
Then I used to try to break my sister Joanie's voice box because she liked to sing. She
always scratched me though, so instead I tried to play Emily's cello. Except I don't have a
lot of musical talent, but I'm very popular. And I know more about the cello than people
who don't know anything. I don't like the cello, it's too much work and besides, keeping
my legs open that way made me feel funny. I asked Emily if it made her feel funny and
she didn't know what I meant:; and then when I told her she cried for two whole hours
and then went to confession twice, just in case the priest didn't understand her the first
time. Dopey Emily. She means well. (Calls offstage:) Booey! I'm pregnant! (To
audience:) Actually I couldn't be because I'm a virgin. A married man tried to have an
affair with me, but he was married and so it would have been pointless. I didn't know he
was married until two months ago. The I met Booey, sort of on the rebound. He seems
fine though. (Calls out:) Booey! (To audience:) I went to confession about the cello
practicing, but I don't think the priest heard me. He didn't say anything. He didn't even
give me a penance. I wonder if nobody was in there. But as long as your conscience is all
right, then so is your soul. (Calls, giddy, happy:) Booey, come on!

Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon

Blanche (dramatic)

Talking to Nora

I’m not going to let you hurt me, Nora. I’m not going to let you tell me that I don’t love
you or that I haven’t tried to give you as much as I gave Laurie…God knows I’m not
perfect because enough angry people in this house told me so tonight…but I am not
going to be a doormat for all the frustration and unhappiness that you or Aunt Kate or
anyone else wants to lay at my feet…I did not create this Universe. I do not decide who
lives and dies, or who’s rich or poor or who feels loved and who feels deprived. If you
feel cheated that I had a husband who dies at thirty six. And if you keep on feeling that
way, you’ll end up like me…with something much worse than loneliness or helplessness
and that’s self-pity. Believe me, there is no leg that’s twisted or bent that is more
crippling than a human being who thrives on his own misfortunes…I am sorry, Nora, that
you feel unloved and I will do everything I can to change it except to apologize for it. I
am tired of apologizing. After a while it becomes you life’s work and it doesn’t bring any
money into the house…if it’s taken your pain and Aunt Kate’s anger to get me to start
living again, then God will give me the strength to make it up to you, but I will not go
back to being frightened, helpless woman that I created’!...I’ve already buried someone I
love. Now it’s time to bury someone I hate.

Proof by David Auburn

Catherine (age 25)

After my mother died it was just me here. I tried to keep him happy no matter what

idiotic project he was doing. He used to read all day. He kept demanding more and more

books. I took them out of the library by the carload. We had hundreds upstairs. Then I

realized he wasn’t reading: He believed aliens were sending him messages through the
dewy decimal numbers on the library books. He was trying to work out a code. Answers

to everything. The most elegant proofs, perfect proofs, proofs like music. Later the

writing phase: scribbling, nineteen, twenty hours a day…I ordered him a case of

notebooks and used every one. I dropped out of school…I’m glad he’s dead.

Charlotte’s Web
Adapted from the book by E.B. White
Play by Joseph Robinette

Charlotte-a spider

My name is Charlotte. Charlotte A. Cavatica. I’m a spider. This is my home. I know it

looks fragile. But it’s really very strong. It protects me. And I trap my food in it. My

breakfast is waiting for on the other side of my web. It’s a fly. I caught it this morning.

Actually, I drink their blood. That’s the way I’m made. I can’t help it. Anyway, if I

didn’t catach insects and eat them, there would soon be so many they’d destroy the earth,

wipe out everything. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have my breakfast.

Proof by David Auburn

Claire (age 29)

Good coffee. We have a place where we buy all our coffee. They roast it themselves,

they have an old roaster down in the basement. You can smell it from our place, four

stories up. It’s wonderful. “Manhattan’s Best”: some magazine wrote it up. Who knows.

But it is very good.

Dolly

Situation: A rag doll, who has been neglected by her owner Sally, reflects on her
disappointing life in her nursery.

(a doll sits in the middle of a table, with her head down)

Sure, everyone thinks being a doll is fun. (looks at the audience) All of the other toys say,
"why wouldn’t you want to be a rag doll? Little girls adore you. You would be their
favorite toy." Right and what would the other toys at the store say now about my perfect
life? All I do all day is sit up on this shelf, collecting dust.

It has been a long time since I have been to a tea party. (looks around the room) It has
been such a long time since I have even left this spot. I used to be Sally’s favorite toy. I
remember the first day I arrived home from Eaton’s department store. My box was
wrapped in pretty gold paper, with a big green bow on the front. "Oh Mommy, oh Daddy,
I love it. I going to play with her for ever and ever and ever and I am going to love her for
ever and ever and ever."

Where are you now Sally? Are you off with your collection of Barbies or are you
watching television? She doesn’t even realize how hard it is for me to watch her play
with her other toys. I just sit here, hour after hour, day after day, watching. I’m not alone
though. Numerous Care Bears have been stuffed in the closet, her Cabbage Patch Kids
collection is over in that corner (points to right corner), and we can’t forget the Disney
Store in the left corner (looks to the other corner). At least I got a shelf.

Please, don’t get me wrong, when I first arrived in this nursery, everything was
wonderful. That month was the happiest month of my life. Sally would play with me
every day. We would have tea parties, we would read books together. (sigh) We did
everything together. Sally would take me everywhere. I once got to go to show and tell
with her. (pause) I was always there for her. She could tell me anything, and I wouldn’t
tell the other toys. But, on that cold November day, her Daddy brought home her first
Barbie, and our life together was over.

I never even got a name. All of her other dolls have names. I am just referred to as "her"
or "dolly". Why didn’t she give me a name? Naming a doll is not the hardest thing to do
in the world. It only takes a few seconds of thought.

Sally will occasionally stop and talk to me. Just last week she picked me up and brushed
my hair. (pause) But I soon returned to my spot. Is this my destiny? I want to have fun
again. I want to play again with a person. I want someone to love me. I don’t want to
spend my life on a shelf, collecting dust. It doesn’t look like I have a choice, does it?

Our Town by Thornton Wilder

EMILY. (softly, more in wonder than in grief) I can't bear it. They're so young and beautiful. Why
did they ever have to get old? Mama, I'm here. I'm grown up. I love you all, everything. - I cant
look at everything hard enough. (pause, talking to her mother who does not hear her. She speaks
with mounting urgency) Oh, Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really saw me.
Mama, fourteen years have gone by. I'm dead. You're a grandmother, Mama. I married George
Gibbs, Mama. Wally's dead, too. Mama, his appendix burst on a camping trip to North Conway.
We felt just terrible about it - don't you remember? But, just for a moment now we're all together.
Mama, just for a moment we're happy. Let's look at one another. (pause, looking desperate
because she has received no answer. She speaks in a loud voice, forcing herself to not look at
her mother) I can't. I can't go on. It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another. (she
breaks down sobbing, she looks around) I didn't realize. All that was going on in life and we never
noticed. Take me back - up the hill - to my grave. But first: Wait! One more look. Good-by, Good-
by, world. Good-by, Grover's Corners, Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking, and Mama's
sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths, and sleeping and
waking up. Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you. (she asks abruptly through
her tears) Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? - every, every minute? (she
sighs) I'm ready to go back. I should have listened to you. That's all human beings are! Just blind
people.

Daddy’s Dyin, Whose got the will?

Evalita: (age 30, Texas accent)

Sara Lee, Harmony was a miracle sent straight from God. Right after me and Roger

busted up. He was the bronco buster I lived with for awhile after me and Abdul got

divorced. Yew didn’t know ‘im. He beat me up and threw me outta the trailer house. I

had nothin’ to my name but the clothes on my back and a buck fifty. Told me to git gone

or he’d kill me.

EVE'S DIARY
A monologue from the book by Mark Twain

NOTE: This monologue is reprinted from Eve's Diary. Mark Twain.

New York: Harper & Brothers, 1906.

EVE: We are getting along very well now, Adam and I, and getting better and better
acquainted. He does not try to avoid me any more, which is a good sign, and shows that
he likes to have me with him. That pleases me, and I study to be useful to him in every
way I can, so as to increase his regard. During the last day or two I have taken all the
work of naming things off his hands, and this has been a great relief to him, for he has no
gift in that line, and is evidently very grateful. He can't think of a rational name to save
him, but I do not let him see that I am aware of his defect. Whenever a new creature
comes along I name it before he has time to expose himself by an awkward silence. In
this way I have saved him many embarrassments. I have no defect like this. The minute I
set eyes on an animal I know what it is. I don't have to reflect a moment; the right name
comes out instantly, just as if it were an inspiration, as no doubt it is, for I am sure it
wasn't in me half a minute before. I seem to know just by the shape of the creature and
the way it acts what animal it is. When the dodo came along he thought it was a wildcat--
I saw it in his eye. But I saved him. And I was careful not to do it in a way that could hurt
his pride. I just spoke up in a quite natural way of pleasing surprise, and not as if I was
dreaming of conveying information, and said, "Well, I do declare, if there isn't the dodo!"
I explained--without seeming to be explaining--how I know it for a dodo, and although I
thought maybe he was a little piqued that I knew the creature when he didn't, it was quite
evident that he admired me. That was very agreeable, and I thought of it more than once
with gratification before I slept. How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that
we have earned it!

EVE'S DIARY
A monologue from the book by Mark Twain

NOTE: This monologue is reprinted from Eve's Diary. Mark Twain.

New York: Harper & Brothers, 1906.

EVE: When I look back, the Garden is a dream to me. It was beautiful, surpassingly
beautiful, enchantingly beautiful; and now it is lost, and I shall not see it any more. The
Garden is lost, but I have found HIM, and am content. He loves me as well as he can; I
love him with all the strength of my passionate nature, and this, I think, is proper to my
youth and sex. If I ask myself why I love him, I find I do not know, and do not really
much care to know; so I suppose that this kind of love is not a product of reasoning and
statistics, like one's love for other reptiles and animals. I think that this must be so. I love
certain birds because of their song; but I do not love Adam on account of his singing--no,
it is not that; the more he sings the more I do not get reconciled to it. Yet I ask him to
sing, because I wish to learn to like everything he is interested in. I am sure I can learn,
because at first I could not stand it, but now I can. It sours the milk, but it doesn't matter;
I can get used to that kind of milk. It is not on account of his brightness that I love him--
no, it is not that. He is not to blame for his brightness, such as it is, for he did not make it
himself; he is as God made him, and that is sufficient. There was a wise purpose in it,
THAT I know. In time it will develop, though I think it will not be sudden. It is not on
account of his gracious and considerate ways and his delicacy that I love him. No, he has
lacks in this regard, but he is well enough just so, and is improving. It is not on account of
his industry that I love him. I think he has it in him, and I do not know why he conceals it
from me, but I will put it out of my mind; it shall not trouble my happiness, which is
otherwise full to overflowing. It is not on account of his education that I love him. He is
self-educated, and does really know a multitude of things, but they are not so. It is not on
account of his chivalry that I love him--no, it is not that. He told on me, but I do not
blame him; it is a peculiarity of sex, I think, and he did not make his sex. Of course I
would not have told on him, I would have perished first; but that is a peculiarity of sex,
too, and I do not take credit for it, for I did not make my sex. Then why is it that I love
him? He is strong and handsome, and I love him for that, and I admire him and am proud
of him, but I could love him without those qualities. If he were plain, I should love him;
if he were a wreck, I should love him; and I would work for him, and slave over him, and
pray for him, and watch by his bedside until I died. I think I love him merely because he
is MINE. There is no other reason, I suppose. And so I think it is as I first said: that this
kind of love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just COMES--none knows
whence--and cannot explain itself. And doesn't need to. That is what I think. But I am
only a girl, the first that has examined this matter, and it may turn out that in my
ignorance and inexperience I have not got it right.

The Sea Horse by Edward J. Moore

Gertrude-middle aged
I was sitting on the pier one day, doing my homework with some friends…waiting
for my dad to take me home. I heard all this shouting coming from the Horse. I saw
my dad throw this man out, a couple of other men came out too. This man was
trying to hit my dad…I got up and started running towards him…crying “Daddy,
Daddy!” My dad turned to me, and the man stabbed him…he died…I held him,
and he died. You know I couldn’t remember my name…For the longest time after,
I just couldn’t think of it, isn’t that strange?...Daddy has a sister, so I stayed with
her…they had a terrible time with me… I could remember everything that
happened that night, all the questions everyone asked me, I would answer
everything right…but I couldn’t remember my name. My teacher had to come up
and touch me…”Gertrude? Why don’t you answer me?” I was okay after a
while…finished school…then I started coming down here again, to watch my
ships…but I would never go near the Horse…Frank…he know what happened…
but thought it was stupid letting this place rot away… When he walked out on me,
we owed everyone! I thought I could make a go of it for a while…just…to get things
squared away…it was bad! Bums wouldn’t pay, just walk out…rest of ‘em were not
better either, gave me a bad time…one day this swab grabbed me…I let him have it
with a bottle, right in the face!...After that I got respect!...Money!...and I didn’t
need…anyone…anymore

Angels in America by Tony Kushner.

Hannah is a Joe's Mormon mother. After her son calls her in the middle of the night
to tell her that he is a homosexual, she sells her house and flies to New York City,
and gets lost. She is talking to a raving homeless woman on the streets.

HANNAH:

Excuse me? I said excuse me? Can you tell me where I am? Is this Brooklyn?
Do you know of a Pineapple Street? Is there some sort of bus or train or...?
I'm lost, I just arrived from Salt Lake City. I took the bus that I was told to
take and I got off - well it was the very last stop, so I had to get off, and I
asked the driver was this Brooklyn, and he nodded yes but he was from one of
those foreign countries where they think it's good manners to nod at
everything even if you have no idea what it is you're nodding at, and in truth I
think he spoke no English at all, which I think would make him ineligible for
employment on public transportation. The public being English-speaking
mostly. Do you speak English?
I was supposed to be met at the airport by my son. He didn't show and I don't
wait more than three and three-quarters hours for anyone. I should have been
patient, I guess...Is this Brooklyn?
The Bronx!?! Well how in the name of Heaven did I get to the Bronx, when the
bus driver said...? Can you just tell me where I...? I don't know what you're...
Shut up. Please. Now I want you to stop jabbering for a minute, and pull your
wits together and tell me how to get to Brooklyn. Because you know! And you
are going to tell me! Because there is no one else around to tell me and I am
wet and cold and I am very angry! So I am sorry you're psychotic but just
make the effort! Take a deep breath! DO IT! (Inhales with the crazy woman.)
That's good. Now exhale. (Exhales with the crazy woman.) Good. Now. How do
I get to Brooklyn?
 Scene: A little later. Hannah has finally arrived at her destination, only to find
that her son is missing and her daughter-in-law has been arrested. She is
talking on the phone with an unheard voice.

HANNAH:

Pitt residence. No. He's out. No, I have no idea where he is. I have no idea. I
have no idea. No idea. No. No. This is his mother.
OH MY LORD! Is she...? You... Wait, officer, I don't... You found her in the...
Prospect Park? I don't... She what? A pine tree? Why on earth would she chew
down a...?
(Cross.) Well you have no business laughing about it, so you can stop that
right now, that's ugly.
I don't know where that is, I just arrived from Salt Lake and I barely found
Brooklyn. I'll take a... a taxicab. Well yes of course right now! No. No hospital.
We don't need any of that. She's not insane, she's just... peculiar. Tell her to
behave. Tell her... Tell her Mother Pitt is coming. (Hangs up.)

The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in the Moon Marigolds

By Paul Zindel

Janice Vickery-same age as Tillie, competes against Tillie in the school science fair.

The Past: I got the cat from the A.S.P.C.A. immediately after it had been killed by a high-altitude

pressure system. That explains why some of the rib bones are missing, because that method

sucks the air out of the animal’s lungs and ruptures all the cavities. They say it prevents cruelty to

animals but I think it’s horrible. (she laughs) Then I boiled the cat in a sodium hydroxide

solution until most of the skin pulled right off, but I had to scrape some of the grizzle off the

joints with a knife. You have no idea how difficult it is to get right down to the bones. (gong

sounds)

I have to go on to The Present, now—but I did want to tell you how long it took me to put the

thing together. I mean, as it is now, it’s extremely useful for the students of anatomy, even with

the missing rib bones, and it can be used to show basic anatomical aspects of many, many animals

that are in the family as felines. I suppose that’s about the only present uses I can think for it, but

it is nice to remember as an accomplishment, and it look good on college applications to show

you did something else in school besides dating. (she laughs and gong sounds again)
The Future: the only future plans I have for Tabby—my little brother asked the A.S.P.C.A. what

its name was when we went to pick it up and they said it was called Tabby, but I think they were

kidding him—(she laughs again) I mean as far as future plans, I’m going to donate it to the

science department, of course, and next year, if there’s another Science Fair perhaps I’ll do the

same thing with a dog. (third gong) Thank you very much for your attention, and I hope I win!

Approx 300 words

Ordinary People
By: Judith Guest
Dramatized by: Nancy Gilseman

A teenaged girl

Jeannine: Yes. Right. My father tried to talk to me about it. But I wouldnt listen to him.
So, after a while, he just... left me alone. And then it was worse. Nobody seemed to care.
(she pauses then goes on) One time this boy and I were in a department store... and we
just started lifting things. Hiding them in our jacket pockets... it was crazy. I took
lipsticks, scarves, a leather wallet, some earrings. Stuff I could've bought if I'd really
wanted it. And then we walked out. And the store detective followed us. He'd been
watching us the whole time. He called my parents and they had to come down... and,
Con, the store manager knew my father. It was awful. My dad talked and pleaded with
the guy not to prosecute, but the guy said he'd had it with shoplifters. (she stops for a
moment) And then... my dad broke down and cried. (Her voice breaks.) Geez, it was so
terrible... I just wanted to fall in a hole and disappear. The guy finally gave in. He told us
to get the hell out of his store and not come back.

Butterflies are Free by Leonard Gershe

Jill-age 19 (humorous)

Jill is afraid of becoming emotionally involved. She has just met the attractive you man
who lives in the next apartment.

You’re thinking I don’t look like a divorcee. They’re usually around thirty-five with tight
fitting dresses and high-heeled patent leather shoes and big boobs. I look more like the
kid in a custody fight. I really can’t talk about Jack. No, I will talk about him. Once in a
while it’s good for you to do something you don’t want to do. It cleanses the insides. He
was terribly sweet and groovy-looking, but kind of adolescent, you what I mean? Girls
mature faster than boys. Boys are neater but girls mature faster. When we met it was like
fireworks. I don’t know if I’m saying it right, but it was a marvelous kind of passion that
made every day like the fourth of July. Anyway, the next thing I knew we were standing
in front of a justice of the peace getting married. I mean there we were getting married! I
hadn’t even finished high school and I had two exams the next day they were on my
mind, too. I heard the justice of the peace saying, “Do you, Jack, take Jill to be your
lawfully wedded wife?” Can you imagine going through life as Jack and Jill? And then I
heard “Till death do you part” and suddenly, it wasn’t a wedding ceremony. It was
funeral service. You know that a wedding ceremony is very morbid when you think
about it. I hate anything morbid and there I was being buried alive…under Jack Benson.
I wanted run screaming out into the night! But it was ten o’clock in the morning. I mean
you can’t go screaming out into ten o’clock in the morning…so I passed out. If only I‘d
fainted before I said “I do.”

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST

A monologue from the play by Oscar Wilde

NOTE: This monologue is reprinted from The Importance of Being

Earnest. Oscar Wilde. London: Methuen, 1910.

LADY BRACKNELL: Well, I must say, Algernon, that I think it is high time that Mr.
Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or die. This shilly-shallying with
the question is absurd. Nor do I in any way approve of the modern sympathy with
invalids. I consider it morbid. Illness of any kind is hardly a thing to be encouraged in
others. Health is the primary duty of life. I am always telling that to your poor uncle, but
he never seems to take much notice . . . as far as any improvement in his ailment goes.
Well, Algernon, of course if you are obliged to be beside the bedside of Mr. Bunbury, I
have nothing more to say. But I would be much obliged if you would ask Mr. Bunbury,
from me, to be kind enough not to have a relapse on Saturday, for I rely on you to arrange
my music for me. It is my last reception, and one wants something that will encourage
conversation, particularly at the end of the season when every one has practically said
whatever they had to say, which, in most cases, was probably not much.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

by Tennessee Williams

Maggie is tormented by her longing for the husband she cannot possess and her
craving for security. As her father-in-law draws closer to death, she worries that she
and her husband will be given the smaller share of the inheritance because they
have no children.

MAGGIE:

It's too bad, because you can't wring their necks if they've got no necks to wring! Isn't that
right, honey? Yep, they're no-neck monsters, all no-neck people are monsters...
Here them? Hear them screaming? I don't know where their voice-boxes are located since
they don't have necks. I tell you I got so nervous at that table tonight I thought I would throw
back my head and utter a scream you could hear across the Arkansas border an' parts of
Louisiana an' Tennessee. I said to your charming sister-in-law, Mae, honey, couldn't you feed
those precious little things at a separate table with an oilcloth cover? They make such a mess
an' the lace cloth looks so pretty! She made enormous eyes at me and said, "Ohhhh, noooooo!
On Big Daddy's birthday? Why, he would never forgive me!" Well, I want you to know, Big
Daddy hadn't been at the table two minutes with those five no-neck monsters slobbering and
drooling over their food before he threw down his fork an' shouted, "Fo' God's sake, Gooper,
why don't you put them pigs at a trough in th' kitchen?" - Well, I swear, I simply could have
di-ieed!
Think of it, Brick, they've got five of them and number six is coming. They've brought the
whole bunch down here like animals to display at the county fair. Why, they have those
children doin' tricks all the time! "Junior, show Big Daddy how you do this, show Big Daddy
how you do that, say your little piece fo' Big Daddy, Sister. Show your dimples, Sugar.
Brother, show Big Daddy how you stand on your head!" -It goes on all the time, along with
constant little remarks and innuendos about the fact that you and I have not produced any
children, are totally childless and therefore totally useless! -Of course it's comical but it's also
disgusting since it's so obvious what they're up to!

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

by Tennessee Williams

MAGGIE:

I wish you would lose your looks. If you did, it would make the martyrdom of Saint Maggie a
little more bearable. But no such goddamn luck. I actually believe you've gotten better looking
since you've gone on the bottle. Yeah, a person who didn't know you would think you'd never
had a tense nerve in your body or a strained muscle.
Of course, you always had that detached quality as if you were playing a game without much
concern over whether you won or lost, and now that you've lost the game, not lost but just
quit playing, you have that rare sort of charm that usually only happens in very old or
hopelessly sick people, the charm of the defeated - You look so cool, so cool, so enviably cool.
You know, if I thought you would never, never, never make love to me again - I would go
downstairs to the kitchen and pick out the longest and sharpest knife I could find and stick it
straight into my heart, I swear that I would!
But one thing I don't have is the charm of the defeated, my hat is still in the ring, and I am
determined to win!
-What is the victory of a cat on a hot tin roof? -I wish I knew... Just staying on it as long as
she can...

Children's Hour

by: Lillian Hellman

Karen Wright and Martha Dobie have been accused of being lesbians by one of the girls
who reside in their boarding house. Set in the 30's, this accusation is disastrous, and
though not true, it destroys the two women and their business. In this monologue, Martha
Dobie talks to her aunt, who skipped town when she was the only one that could have
come to their defense.

Martha: (Quietly) Listen to me tell you what you are pretending not to know: Karen
Wright and Martha Dobie brought a suit for slander against a woman called Tilford. We
brought a suit for slander against a woman called Tilford because her grandchild had
accused us of having what the judge called "sinful sexual knowledge of one another." A
large part of Mrs. Tilford's defense was based on remarks made by Lily Mortar against
her niece, Martha. And a greater part of the defense's case rested on the fact that Mrs.
Mortar would not appear in court to explain or deny those remarks. Mrs. Mortar had a
moral obligation to the theater. As you probably read in the newspapers, we lost the case.
There's an eight o'clock train. Get on it.

Bye, Bye Birdie

By Michael Stewart

Mother-50’s

So it’s come at last! At last it’s come! The day I knew would come at last has come at

last! My sonnyboy doesn’t need me anymore. Well, what are you waiting for? Get rid

of me! Put me out with the garbage! Just throw me out with the used grapefruits and the

empty cans from Bumble Bee salmon. Never mind putting a lid on. Leave it open so a

hundred thousand pussycats can walk all over a Mother. And by the way, sweetheart

darling, I got some good news for you. I got a report from the hospital. It’s absolutely

definite. I got a condition. Never mind what kind of condition, a condition. And the

one thing doctors can’t cure is a condition. I don’t want you to worry though. Fancy

funerals are for rich people. I don’t want you to spend a cent. Just wait ‘til Mother’s

Day, wrap me in a flag, and dump me in the river! Well. I feel better now. Everything is

as it should be. A mother is lying on top of a Sanitation truck bound for the City Dump,

and a son is running around in saloons with a Mexicali Rose who came over for the fruit

picking season and stayed to ruin an American woman’s life!

Brighton Beach Memoirs

 By Neil Simon

Nora-sixteen years of age, has just been chosen to appear in a musical that will be
produced on Broadway.

Okay! Here goes!...I’m going to be in a Broadway show! It’s a musical called

Abracadabra…This man, Mr. Beckman, he’s a producer, came to our dancing class this

afternoon and he picked out three girls. We have to be at the Hudson Theater on Monday

morning at ten o’clock to audition for the dance director. But on the way out he took me

aside and said the job was good as mine. I have to call him tomorrow. I may have to go

into town to talk to him about it. They start rehearsing a week from Monday and then it

goes to Philadelphia, Wilmington and Washington…and then it comes to New York the

second week in December. There are nine big musical numbers and there’s going to be a

big tank on the stage that you can see through and the big finale all takes place with the

entire cast all under water…I mean, can you believe it? I’m going to be in a Broadway

show, Momma.

Greater Tuna
By Jaston Williams, Joe Sears and Ed Howard

Pearl Burras-elderly lady looking down at a dead judge in his coffin

Owwww, Roscoe, is that you? What have they done to you? My goodness, you look so

waxy. Oh, they’ve waxed you down, Judge, so you’ll look good… you old S.O.B. A

stroke! It was your conscience that killed you. Those same tight little lips. Well, those

beady eyes will never see the light again, will they judge? Oh, what could have ever

made me want to love you? Tell me, how-how-how-how could I? I guess a young girl

can be foolish. But then you were always too good for me, now weren’t you, Judge? Just

too good. That’s right. I took it. But then you sent my favorite nephew Stanley to
reform school. And for what? Spray painting stop signs! Oh, Judge, you might as well

have killed him. He’s never been the same. I told you then I’d sing over your grave

when you died…And Judge, I feel a song comin’ on! (starts singing) “Oh, the fox went

out one stormy night. He prayed for the moon to give him light. He said “I got many a

mile to go, before I reach the town-o, town-o, town-ooooooo’”

Sara Lee: (age 45, Texas accent)

Yew ain’t mama, Lurlene. And don’t ye ever try to be. Yew know, I was here. Lurlene.

I was here all along. Here when yew and J.D up and left…here when Orville decided to

git off his fat ass and move to Snyder… and here when Evalita hit the road and sought

out husband after husband. I had to stay. Right here in Podunk Lowake. I just dumb ol’

Sara Lee. Rattin’ hair, takin’ care of Mama Wheelis and Daddy and gittin’ old.

The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in the Moon Marigolds

By Paul Zindel

Tillie-young girl, very absorbed in the world of science and her experiments and her pet
rabbit

He told me to look at my hand for a part of it came from a star that exploded too long ago

to imagine. This part of me was formed from a tongue of fire that screamed through the

heavens until there was our sun. And this part of me—this tiny part of me—was on the

sun when it itself exploded and whirled in a great storm until the planets came to be. And

this small part of me was then a whisper of the earth. When there was life perhaps this

part of me got lost in a fern that was crushed and covered until it was coal. And then it

was a diamond millions of years later—it must have been a diamond as beautiful as the

star from which it had first come. Or perhaps this part of me got lost in a terrible beast,
or became part of a huge bird that flew above the primeval swamps. And he said this

thing was so small—this part of me was so small it couldn’t be seen—but it was there

from the beginning of the world. And he called this bit of an atom. And when he wrote

the word, I fell in love with it. Atom. Atom. What a beautiful word.

The Twelfth Night

By: William Shakespheare

After being shipwrecked, Viola dresses herself as a man to find work at the Noble Lady Olivia's
house. Olivia mistakenly falls in love with Viola. Meanwhile, Viola falls for Olivia's suitor, the
Duke
.
Viola

I left no ring with her; what means this lady?

Fortune Forbid, my outsides have not charm'd her!
She made good view of me; indeed, so much,
That sure methought her eyes had lost her tongue,
For she did speak in starts distractedly.
She loves me, sure; the cunning of her passion,
Invites me in the churlish messenger.
None of my Lord's ring? why, he sends her none,
I am the man, if it be so, at 'tis.
Poor lady, she better love a dream.
Disguise, I see, thou art a wickedness
Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.
How easy it is for the proper-false
In women's waxen hearts to se their form!
Alas, our fraility is the cause, not we!
For such that we are made of, such we be.
How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly;
And I, poor monster, fond as much on him;
And she mistaken, seems to dote on me.
What will become of this, as I am man,
My state is desperate on my master's love;
As I am a woman,--now alas the day!--
What thriftless sighs should poor Olivia breathe!
O time! Thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me to untie!