Goodwin 1

Michelle Goodwin

Maria del Rocío Grimaldo

ENC 1101

Position Shift Essay

9/29/18

Enemies to Sisters

Like so many siblings do, my younger sister and I fought for years as we grew up. There

was a point, maybe for a few days in the hospital, that I thought she was pretty great. I even

remember thinking how amazing it was seeing her for the first time through the nursery window.

However, our five-year age difference presented challenges for us, as we grew older. Before this

occurred I was begging my parents to have another child. I would come home from Kindergarten

upset at my mom because my classmates had two or more siblings. This put a lot of pressure on

my parent’s relationship since they could tell how eager I was to be a big sister. Aside from that

idea, I was also able to have more father daughter time being an only child. This included

activities such as fishing, biking, and roller blading with my dad. I can admit that being an only

child I was spoiled and that lead me to become materialistic. Since I did not have any experience

sharing with others I wanted everything to myself. I don't have to share my room with anyone,

and I can go to my room and listen to whatever kind of music I want to without having to worry

if my sibling likes it or not. I don't have to lean on my sibling when I go to events where I don't

know anybody. Instead, I have to stand on my own and make new friends, which helps to make

me a stronger person. When I was younger and starting school I didn’t have anyone to look up to

for advice and style. Being a girl with a very young sister I didn’t really know what the style was

like at school. This would mean that my mom or dad would buy me my clothes and pick them
 Goodwin 2

out so that was my only choice. I had no one to tell me how school was like at the time because

my sister was five years behind where I was beginning. Having a huge difference in age with my

sister made me very shy as well. It was hard for me to talk to others because I didn’t know how

to or what to talk about. When I got dropped off at my first day of school I waited for people to

start to talk to me and didn’t make too many friends that way. I had few friends from the

neighborhood and riding the bus daily I would see the number gradually grow over some time.

Having no siblings around my age made me enjoy waking up to go to school. When I would get

home I did not have anyone to play. Therefore, I would look forward to school the next day.

Although we are different, we accept each other for who we are. We've gone through hard times

before and there are still. Stephanie is now favorite companion, but this change was gradual.

Spending more time with her caused me to be more appreciative. Although it was a

bumpy ride, I can’t imagine what life would be like if this change didn’t happen. I now had a less

stressful home life and better conversation on my day-to-to interactions with her. I knew that my

parents still loved me no matter what, but this baby was taking all of their attention, and that was

the only thing that I saw back then. For example, when my parents went baby clothes shopping I

wanted to get something out of the trip too. This jealousy was the first negative feeling that I had

towards my sister, but it was only a child’s jealousy that is unreasonable at times. As we got

older, the jealousy went away, but our relationship became exhausting and tough. It became

tough because we would fight on the weekends when we were at home the entire time. Our

family functioned as two sometimes, because the relationship between my sister and I prevented

us from being close. My sister and I are two very different people. In the past we would deal

with situations differently and we disagree on many things. I would say that we communicate

differently which sometimes causes confusion. Confusion is caused when she believes I am
 Goodwin 3

angry at her and I might not be saying very much that day. I can tell she is furious at me because

of how loud she talks to me. This is the main cause of our misunderstandings. We don't like to

argue a lot because when we do, we always end up hurting each other’s feelings with the things

we say. Because we communicate differently, we don't fully understand what the other is saying

or meaning to say since I say the first thing that pops in my mind without thinking twice. We

have our misunderstanding and discussions from time to time but all sisters do.

Later on in my life things began to change the summer that Stephanie was doing selfless

things for me, such as covering up for me or giving me random hugs. When school started, she

never failed to thank me for giving her a ride. Those rides to school were a key event in the

transformation of our relationship. It was a short ride from home, but we talked for the first time

about real topics. Sometimes we talked about drama or friends, or sometimes we would just play

the music really loud in the car and sing. My grandma Ruth said, “I hope when you guys are

older, you will live close to each other and talk many times a week.” She tells me this because

her sister lives close to her and they stay in contact often. At some point in all of this, we became

very close. This change took quite a bit of time and there was no exact moment that I knew that

it had occurred. Today, my sister and I can talk about anything. I see her selfless heart rather than

the rude sister that I had focused on so harshly before.

The change in our relationship required a huge adjustment of communication between

my sister and me, and our family. My sister and I began to communicate more verbally than we

had before. This opened our relationship to a deeper level and allowed us to have confidence in

each other as friends would. I displayed my change of heart by spending more quality time with

her. According to Stephanie, “I always look up to you as a role model, and I know whenever I

will need help you will be there for me. I miss our late night runs to get ice cream. ” After talking
 Goodwin 4

with my sister I was so pleased to hear this because I am content with myself with my role of

being a big sister. She was now invited to hang out with my boyfriend and me when we would

go out, or sometimes we would just have sister-sister dates. My boyfriend once told me he had

noticed a big change in Stephanie since he first met her. Before she would hide in her room and

never greet him but now she hugs him at the front door. One important day that I remember was

when my parents went on a date. We went to the mall, ate, and watched a movie at the movie

theatre. This quality time showed that I cared for her, and I presented myself as a sister and a

friend. We were now able to function as one family, so we could now talk about our issues and

move on without someone picking sides. More time was spent together as a family, and we all

looked forward to this time together in our free time. Our vacation time as a family increased,

including trips to Grand Canyon and Los Angeles within the last year. This change in our family

circle made times rough as I moved to Panama, 10-hour flight away. However, the

communication between my family, my sister and myself has never been better. I also plan to

visit them twice a year while I am gone.

Without this change, my life could have been very different from what it is today. In my

stubborn ways, I only saw the shallow exterior of not only my sister, but everyone else as well.

This 180-degree turn in my life has allowed me to see more deeply into someone’s true self. This

life was happier and judgment free. In high school, I had friends that I had been with for years.

However, I always knew in the back of my mind that when tough times came, most of them

would not have my back. Stephanie was there for me when I needed her the most. If I am upset,

my sister may not know exactly why, but will immediately know what to do to cheer me up. My

sadness is her sadness, and my happiness is hers. I share her feelings in return. When my sisters
 Goodwin 5

accomplishes something, I am truly proud. There is no jealously between us. This new bond we

share is completely genuine, which is something you have to worry about between friends.

The day that I stopped caring so much and only gave my attention to those that truly

cared for me, was the day that I felt at peace again. Thankfully, I realized this early in my life. If

I had not had a change in perspective, I could have wasted the many years with my family.

Through happy times, sad times, I know that all four will be there for me. Friends have entered

and check out my whole life, but without my family and their support, I would have nothing.

Recently, our family of four, my boyfriend, grandparents, and pets all traveled to parent’s house

for Labor Day weekend. Most teenagers would hate to be with all of their family for that much

time, especially Stephanie who was thirteen. We went skiing, rode four wheelers, and at night we

would be at the cabin watching a movie that we rented. That vacation trip is something I will

never forget, and I am so happy that I appreciated my family enough to realize how special it

actually was. She has shown me this selfless loving person that I strive to be every day. My

sister stated, “This could be seen as a good or a bad thing. I have seen many things being around

you a lot and finding out what you are into. Mom tells me I matured a lot earlier than you did. ” I

am not sure whether to take this as a compliment or not being the big sister. What I want her to

take from all of that is to not make the same mistakes I have made in the past.

At the end of the day this whole situation brought me to a realization to always tell

anyone how much you care and appreciate him or her. I learned that I needed to focus on myself

and become a better person overall. Working on bettering myself also bettered the people I was

surrounded with. This would be my little sister because later in our relationship I was able to

reflect those positives around myself. I was able to emerge as a better friend, daughter, and sister.

Just my thoughts but I now see an only child always being just that. Once they are older, the
 Goodwin 6

family does not extend and they will not know the joy of having nieces and nephews and the

special bonds and memories that come along with that. Also, the relationships among brothers

and sisters are bonds that last throughout life. After the loss of a parent, a sibling is the only on

that can truly understand what you are going through as well as the pain of losing a loved one.
 Goodwin 7

Works Cited

Goodwin, Stephanie. Personal Interview. Oct 01 2018

Goodwin, Ruth. Personal Interview. Oct 05 2018

Schenck, Austin. Personal Interview. Oct 07 2018