THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS

THE COPYCAT

Ray: Well, whoever this ghost is, he's sure got rich taste
Peter: Yeah. I bet the mice here only eat French cheese
Winston: I bet there aren't any mice here.
Campbell: It's about time, ghostbusters. Some cheeky ghost has broken all my best china, rearranged
my furniture and scared little Pifies half to death. Du, du, du, baby, du, du, du, baby.
Peter: Too bad it didn't work on the other half.
Campbell: Please, come in. You see? It's ruined everything and I'm furious.
Egon: No need to worry, ma'am. If there's a spirit here, we'll find it. Strange. Preliminary
scan indicates negative supernatural residue.
Campbell: Excuse me?
Ray: He means there's no sign of any ghost.
Campbell: But that's impossible! We saw it' Didn't we,sweet'ums?
Peter: We'll check- the place out from top to bottom, Mrs. Campbell.
Campbell: Yes, please, do You are absolutely sure there is no ghost?
Ray: Yes, ma'am. We checked the entire house. No ghost.
Peter: It's clean as a whistle.
Ray: Have you ever wondered how clean whistles really are'?
Egon: Well, absolutely.
Peter: Frequently. Why?
Ghost: Who're you gonna call?
Janine: No more calls, guys, you can relax.
Winston: Good news, Janine. Now I can do a little work on Ecto-One.
Egon: Ray, this would be an excellent time to test the transdimensional portal.
Ray: Yeah. Let's go.
Peter: Hey, spud. How'd you 1ike to help me do the transdimensional laundry?
Slimer: Me?
Peter: Yeah, you. But first you need a little snack, right?
Slimer: Yeah.
Peter: He's so predictable.
Slimer: ORIGINAL SONG.
Peter: Steady, big broad. Good timing, spud. The laundry's already in the spin
cycle. Where do you want to go? A giant hamburger? What did it do?
Get up and run away?
Slimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Peter: Maybe he ran off with a hot dog!
Slimer: Peter!
Peter: How is it going, Winston?
Winston: Going all right. What's so funny?
Peter: This'
Winston: Hey, what are you doing? That wasn't funny, Peter.
Peter-: Oh, yes. It was.
Winston: I'll show you funny.
Peter: Score tied, with ten seconds on the game clock. Magic Vankmen has the
ball, yo-yoing it up and down, he fakes left, fakes right, puts a defender
in the Pop-corn machine and unleashes a 30, footer. 3 seconds, 2, 1, it's
good! The crowd goes crazy.
WINSTON: What's the big idea dumping oil all over me, man?
PETER: Dumping oil? I've been right here playing laundry-ball. Right, Slimer?
SLIMER: Right.
WINSTON: Don't give me that! I don't know how you did it, but you did it. What do
you think this is?
PETER: Dirty cover-alls.
JANINE: Hi, Egon.
EGON: Oh, hello, Janine.
JANINE: What are you working on? Something brilliant, I suppose.
EGON: This is a transdimensional portal. It'll allow us to direct access to the
nether world.
RAY: It's great, watch!
JANINE: Gee, that's terrific. But what's it do?
EGON: Simple. When we run out of space in the containment unit, this will
allow us to transfer ghosts directly to the nether world.
JANINE: Oh, Egon, how'd you ever get so smart?
RAY: Don't worry, Janine. As long as the safety field's on, it can't get through.
Right, puppy?
JANINE: Well, see you later, guys.
RAY: So long, Janine.
EGON: Bye.
JANINE: Oh, excuse ... meeee?
EGON: Janine, what's wrong? I ... I just ... just saw me out in the hall..
RAY: Say that again, Janine?
JANINE: Me! I saw me out there!
RAY: No one here.
JANINE: But I saw her. I swear it.
RAY: Janine, that's impossible.
EGON: Nothing is impossible, Raymond. However Janine, I think you've been
working too hard lately. Come on, you need some rest.
RAY: How's Janine?
EGON: Oh, she'll be fine.
RAY: Egon, what are you doing? Hey, stop! Oh, no! What did you do that for?
EGON: Just because.
RAY: Just because? Egon, wait!
WINSTON And I'm telling you, I saw what I saw what I saw, man.
RAY: Just because why, Egon?
EGON: Just because why what?
RAY: You told me you cut the power on the transdimensional portal just
because.
EGON: First of all, I would never cut the power on the transdimensional portal.
Secondly, I would never say just because.
RAY: Come on, Egon. I saw you do it.
PETER: Hold it, hold it! What is going on? Everybody is acting very weird
around here.
WINSTON: You mean weirder than normal? Hey, what the heck was that?
EGON: Everything is suddenly very clear. It must be a metamorph.
PETER: English, Egon, speak English.
RAY: That thing is a shape-changer, a copycat! It can
copy anything it sees'
JANINE: Yeah, right, including copies of us.
PETER: It could even be you, big guy. Come on, follow that chair! Head him off
at the couch!
EGON: Peter, wait. The situation is under control. The building is now secure. I
installed shutters impervious to ectoplasm throughout the fire-house.
WINSTON: You mean, this copycat thing can't get out?
EGON: Exactly.
PETER: Terrific. But we still gotta find it.
RAY: Right. Keep an eye out for an extra refrigerator.
PETER: OK. Let's split up and check every room. Janine, stay with Slimer.
RAY: Yell if you see anything.
JANINE: Don't worry, we will. Where do we look? It could be anything or
anyone. You really are you, aren't you, Slimer? Take it easy, Slimer.
Copycat can't hurt you.
SLIMER: Can't hurt me?
JANINE: Of course not. You are a ghost too, remember?
SLIMER: Oh yeah!
PETER: Ooops! Guess it really was Ray's radio.
WINSTON: Do you see anything, Ray?
RAY: No.
WINSTON: That thing could be right under my nose. In fact it could be my nose.
RAY: Winston, the cabinet. It's only a mouse.
WINSTON: How do we know it's only a mouse? Copycat can change into anything
it sees, remember?
RAY: Grab it!
WINSTON: I got it!
RAY: Where is it?
WINSTON: There it goes.
RAY: Oh after it, hurry!
WINSTON: Oh!
RAY: Winston!
WINSTON: Don't yell! I got a headache.
RAY: Look I found this cheese in the cabinet. It really was just a mouse. It's
the cheese. I mean it's him. I mean it's it.
WINSTON: Yeah. And it's about to became a Swiss cheese.
EGON: Now what's wrong with this picture? What's here that wasn't here
before? Did I have two brains here or one? Egon, how can you not
remember how many brains you have? I have one. So one of them's the
copycat! Oh, no. This isn't your day, Egon. Why don't you be a good
dog and move away from the portal so I can get a clear shot?
WINSTON: Is that the real terror dog or the copycat?
EGON: This is not the copycat.
RAY: How did the terror do get out, Egon? And don't say just because.
EGON: A major blunder on my part.
RAY: Force it back to the portal!
EGON: Run!
JANINE: Way to go, guys.
SUMER: Yeah, way to go.
PETER: Egon, did you let that thing out again? You're Egon, aren't
you?
EGON: Of course, I'm Egon. When I came in, I noticed there were two
brains instead of one, and I knew that one of them was the
copycat, so
RAY: Egon, where did you get this? A limited edition of Captain
Steele. This is really incredible! I thought I had the only
one in existence! Now, that's going too far. Captain Steele is
my favorite Comic Book! He's using his Captain Steele's laser
vision!
PETER: Yeah, well let him get a load of this vision.
WINSTON: He's in here, I can feel it.
RAY: Yeah, but where?
PETER: Hold it! We gotta relax a little, guys! Look for anything in
twos and shoes in four.
RAY: There. Behind your desk, Peter. The lamps.
PETER: No, not my hoolah-girl lamp! Wait guys! Lighten up those
trigger fingers. I'll flush it out. You've got one second to
show yourself, copycat. You know what? I've had it with this
copycat and all his games.
RAY: I have an idea. Egon, metamorphs are playful, right?
EGON: This type of metamorph is very playful, yes.
RAY: OK. Slimer, we need your help.
SLIMER: Me?
RAY: The copycat has to turn into a ghost before we can trap him,
understand? Get him to play with you. Make him think it's a copycat
game. Whatever you do, he does, OK? OK. Let's go.
PETER: Don't worry, Spud, we've gotcha covered!
WINSTON: Slimer, the footstools. One of them is copycat.
SUMER: Hey, copycat!
GHOST: Whaddaya want, Slimy?
SUMER: This is you.
GHOST: Oh, yeah? Well, this is you.
SLIMER: Oh, yeah? But, this is you.
GHOST: You go like this.
SUMER: Bet you can't do this!
PETER: OK, now tell me which Slimer is really Slimer.
EGON: It's definitely the one on the right.
WINSTON: Are you sure?
EGON: Positive.
PETER: Let's double check just to be sure. We wouldn't zap the little
spud. You, Slimer, your favorite!
RAY: Nail him!
WINSTON: Ray, throw out the trap!
RAY: Well, that takes care of copycat.
EGON: Like I said, the one on the right.

END