The 'silent epidemic': workplace bullying is on the rise, research shows

Some feel justified in bullying their subordinates or co-workers if they feel they are unethical or
bad performers

This will come as little surprise: survey after survey have pointed that workplace bullying is on the
rise.

A VitalSmarts report released earlier this week found that 96% of their respondents – out of 2,283
people – experienced workplace bullying. Psychology Today refers to the increase as ‘silent
epidemic’. Since 2003, 26 states have introduced Happy Workplace bills to help eliminate bullying
at work. Unfortunately, none of those laws have been enacted yet.

Those studies and surveys, when taken together, cast light on the surprising dynamics of bullying –
the belittling, reputational attacks, gossip and elbowing that make many modern workplaces
unbearable.

Here's what the studies show: bullying is not random. It has reasons in the bully's mind, even if
those reasons are unfair, skewed, and informed by their personal insecurities. That bodes well for
handling bullies, in the workplace or elsewhere, because it means you can address the root causes
– and it's absolutely essential to stand up for yourself, because bullies tend to prey on those they
perceive as weak, and they have lasting power in the office. They tend to drive better workers away
to remain the last man (or woman) standing, and they tend to turn on not just one person, but
several at a time.

“We were astonished that in so many cases the person most likely to remain in his or her job was
the bully,” said Joseph Grenny, co-author of the study and the book Crucial Conversations.

The scope of bullying is larger than most people realize. According to a 2012 CareerBuilder study,
bullying included being falsely accused of mistakes, being subjected to the silent treatment, being
the subject of unfair gossip or assaults on your reputation, having professional performance
belittled or diminished in front of peers, and having someone steal credit for your work.
VitalSmarts found that bullying included sabotaging others' work or reputation, browbeating and
threats, or even physical intimidation.

Not surprisingly, given the extent of that list, bullying happens to nearly everyone.

Yet bosses are not the only ones guilty of bullying. Workplace bullies come in different shapes and
sizes: a boss who can be mean for no reason, a co-worker who steals our spotlight, a co-worker who
takes credit for our work, a client that knows no boundaries. While 48% of 3,800 workers
nationwide were bullied by their superiors, 45% said their bullies were coworkers and 31%
admitted to being bullied by customers, according to CareerBuilder.

Simply put, a workplace bully is someone at work who makes getting up on Mondays harder than it
needs to be.

The problem lies within the companies that permit bullies to thrive within their culture, says
Sharon Parella, a partner at the financial services group of Morrison & Foerster’s New York office,
who has been outspoken on the issue.

“The companies are saying: ‘Leave us alone. Don’t regulate us. Let us police ourselves.’ But they
aren’t policing themselves. They need to train their employees,” she says.
Only 51% of respondents said their company had a policy for dealing with bullies, found the
VitalSmarts report. What's even worse, just 7% know of someone who used that policy and 6% say
that it didn't work to stop the bully.

Grenny and his co-author, David Maxfield, suggest several techniques for dealing with bullies,
including speaking up right away, sticking to detailed facts when talking about bullying, finding out
what kind of legitimate concern the bully has, warning the bully of the consequences of their
behavior, and holding boundaries.

Instead of punishing the bullies, many workplaces reward them. A research paper in the Journal of
Managerial Psychology found that bullies tend to be very good at office politics - or at least, kissing
up to the boss and using gossip through office social networks to attack those they consider rivals.

While victims are usually targeted due to their social incompetence, on some occasions bullies can
possess high levels of social ability. Due to their social competence, they are able to strategically
abuse coworkers and yet be evaluated positively by their supervisor.

Perhaps due to their elaborate strategies for sucking up while kicking others, bullies tend to last.
More than half of workplace bullies, 54%, have been at it for more than five years, with no
consequences. Some bullies have been with their company for as long as 30 years.

As for the excuses used by the bullies themselves that their victims are not as good workers: it's
usually not the case. “There is never a good reason to bully,” says Parella. “Bullying is not the same
as disciplining. Bullying might mean different things to different people, but it’s behavior that is
severe and pervasive. It’s conduct that makes people uncomfortable.”

Any of these acts listed above can and do pollute workplace environment, which in turn can lead to
higher turn over rate. About 17% of those voluntarily leaving their job did so because of
management and their work environment, Gallup found in 2008. About a third, at 32%, cited
career advancement and promotion opportunities as their reason.

Having a bully for a boss is probably no career booster. After all, a boss who frequently belittles you
is not likely to help you advance.

“There can be a very thin line between a bully and a leader,” warns Whitney Johnson in a blogpost
on Harvard Business Review, Bullying is a Confidence Game. “[R]ather than doing what a leader
does, which is to build on our strengths and compensate for our weakness for a greater purpose,
the bully exploits our weaknesses and uses our strength for their own gain.”

Clearly, workplace bullying is no small problem and it’s not going away any time soon. To help us
understand it better, share your experience with workplace bullying below.

Accounts of bullying at work: 'it's subtle, political and leaves you unsure'
Readers from around the world share their experience with workplace bullies, including solutions
and management impasses

We might not frequent playgrounds at lunch anymore, but that does not mean we have left
everything reminiscent of those times behind. Call someone a bully, and usually the image evoked
is a mean kid ruling the playground with the brute force of his fists, or a cruel girl with a sharp
tongue to inflict more pain than a fist ever could.

And while bullies grow up, they don't always change. That girl who relied on gossip and put-downs
to get ahead? She might sit in the cubicle next to yours. That guy that took pleasure in picking on
those weaker than him? He might sit in the big corner office.

Bullying in the workplace is on the rise, according to research, yet few companies have policies in
place to deal with this "silent epidemic". Those that do often fail to carry them out properly.

To get at the human problem behind the statistics of workplace bullying, we asked Guardian
readers to share with us their experience with a bully, whether it be coworker, a boss or a client.
The responses that came in were often difficult to read. There were stories of verbal abuse – a
coworker picking on a reader because of her weight, making elephant noises every time she walked
by; a reader who would wake screaming after dreams of a workplace he left years ago because of
bullying.

It was clear the odds were against them. There were readers who attempted to get their workplace
to intervene – only to find themselves shut out and pushed out. Others were driven into
depression. Some were fired, while others quit on their own unable to bear their hostile workplace
environment anymore. Only a few met with success of having their bully thwarted.

Stephanie, 31, Worcestershire, UK

I've found out a guy at work makes elephant noises when I walk by.

Paul, 45, Toronto, Canada

I came to understand about workplace harassment after being hired by a US firm to create a
tool for them to help them address workplace behaviour and employee feedback. They were, in
hindsight, very forward thinking. By doing the project, I discovered from conversations a family
member had experienced this issue and that, in fact, I might even have been quite close to being [a
bully] myself at one stage of my life. I was definitely an a**hole (if you get my term).

LB, 62, Berkeley, California

My bully was a co-worker. I left my former department, partially because I was offered a more
interesting job, but partially, to get away from him. Management just buried their heads in the
sand. Their attitude was: "As long as we're making money, we don't care how people treat each
other. If you don't like it, you can leave."

Ellodie, 27, Oxford, UK

Worked in a catering outlet as a server. After letting slip that I had a girlfriend was called any
number of anti-gay names, while a co-worker joked that if he'd known me at school he would have
beaten me up every day. When I reacted with shock, I was alienated by everyone – as the one who
had destroyed the banter. After I complained to management, my advancement through the
company suddenly stopped, as did my training – I was stuck dishwashing for months until I
eventually quit.

Michele, 48, Houston, Texas

[I was] bullied by a co-worker, then by my boss, who was his fraternity brother. This didn't end
there but turned into a full-blown sexual harassment issue, military style. Thought I could trust my
boss and all he did was laugh it off.
Laura, 36, London, UK
We have a terrible problem with bullying where I work. Ironically, one of the things we do at my
organisation is advise other offices on how best to deal with bullying ...

Lisa, 27, Chard, Somerset, UK

I have [been bullied] pretty much in every job I've ever had. I hate bullying and would never
actively bully anyone myself. I have stood up to bullies in the past, which has resulted in them
leaving me alone. But being bullied by management is really hard to stand up to, which has
resulted in me leaving a job. I used to find it very upsetting, being bullied. Now [that] I'm older,
I've learnt to ignore it. I now understand that people bully others due to their own insecurities.
Usually because they are jealous of you or because they feel like you are competition that is likely to
win.

JW, 33, Burbank, California

After working happily in the same workplace for 10 years, I got a new admin who liked to
micromanage me and verbally assault me whenever possible. After one year of nonstop abuse, I
brought in the union which helped the situation, but the bullying didn't stop. Year two and I was
done. I put in for a transfer, because her harassment was causing me so much stress. I am much
happier in my new office. The bully has since been promoted within the company but will not be at
my office.

Jack, 37, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

We have several union members which bully other union members to do certain jobs which are
assigned to everyone, but are highly undesirable. We also have bullying when it comes to overtime.
Effectively, the bullies are cheating others out of money … Some bullies here lie, distort and tell
half-truths.

Unfortunately, as a union job, removing these individuals is next to impossible and our
management is slow to recognize the bullying, if they recognize it at all.

Conrad, 41, Torvizcon, Spain

One time I interjected when a co-worker was being bullied – I simply asked if the male manager
had been a bully at school also. This stopped the bully from continuing or acting up whenever I was
around.

Catriona, 21, Argyll, Scotland

I have worked in a place where the boss was controlling and manipulative. Big in every sense and
knew how to use that to make employees feel small and stupid. The problem was it was his
company, so [there was] no-one to complain to. Six weeks was more than long enough for me
there, as I regularly came home in tears.

Anne, 25, Ireland

I was bullied by my boss. She and my co-worker would whisper, go out together for lunch and not
invite me, laugh at each other's jokes and stare dumbly when I would try to join in – all the petty
ways to make you feel small and stupid. She would also hold private meetings with me where she
would attack my character, my ability and my performance. Sometimes she would ask me to do
something and then criticise me for doing it, trying to say she'd never asked me do that task.

I suffered extreme anxiety and would dread returning to work the moment I left. I doubted my
abilities and felt like I was going crazy, and sought counselling. It was only when I met my
predecessor by chance that I realised she'd done this before and it wasn't my fault. I confronted her
calmly and handed her a copy of my grievances and it really marked a turning point in my life.

Terry, 56, Roseville, California

I said something to the VP about my manager belittling me and her condescending comments. He
told me she was not going anywhere, she was too valuable so I needed to decide what I was going
to do.

Jay, 31, Newcastle, England

I'm autistic so bullying for me is nothing new, at work as I struggle to make friends I'm often alone
so an easy target.

My last job was in a call centre, it was like being in school again. A particular group would
continually whisper in front of me then look at me and laugh, they'd spread rumours, give me dirty
looks, and even throw spit-balls. We were in our 20s in an office environment, it was pathetic, and
the sort of bullying where it wasn't clear enough to be able to log a complaint. My worst bullying
was the job before this, I absolutely adored my job and had loads of friends, but the bullying forced
me to leave.

Bullying when you're an adult is different, it's more subtle and political so often you're left unsure
of how to stop it – reporting bullying can often risk your job so you just have to suffer in silence
and hope things change or you can find a better job.

The psychology of a workplace bully

The best way to deal with bullies at work is to group together with your co-workers and expose
their behaviour, so they lose the power to terrorise

Dr Mary Lamia (clinical psychologist and professor)

Bullying can turn an idyllic job into something you dread. Whether it’s your co-worker or a boss,
dealing with intimidation at work can leave you feeling constantly on edge, fearful, and helpless.

Bullies are generally defined as people who intimidate or control others to achieve their aims. They
may collaborate when their goals are being met, but they lack fairness or honesty. Workplace
bullies generally manipulate or terrorise those with status below or equivalent to themselves. They
may also intimidate superiors, such as threatening to resign at a critical point.

People wrongly assume bullies have low self-esteem, but bullying is actually a response to shame

People wrongly assume bullies have low self-esteem, but their behaviour is actually a response to
internalised shame. Although some people who live with shame have low self-esteem, those who
behave like bullies tend to have high self-esteem and hubristic pride. They attack others to take
away their shame – which allows them to remain unaware of their feelings.

Early in life people form different ways of responding to shame. By adulthood, these coping
responses become personality traits. Typical coping responses fall into four types: attacking others,
attacking oneself, avoidance and withdrawal. When shame threatens people who bully – for
example, when they risk looking incompetent at work – they will attack others.
At the extreme side of the scale, people become narcissistic and deal with deeply-embedded shame
by attacking others continually.

On the other hand, people who bullies target tend to be sensitive people who are likely to attack
themselves in response to shame. Self-blame can maintain a relationship with a bully, but it comes
at the expense of keeping oneself a victim.

Another response to shame, withdrawal, hides one’s feelings from others and can lead to
depression. This response is common in people who are subjected to prolonged attacks of bullying
in the workplace, and can be just as harmful as self-attacking.

Psychologically, bullies cause shame to others by recognising and attacking their insecurities. The
bully’s attack is his or her own shame, repackage to target the victim’s own vulnerabilities.

Attacking others not only blots out the shame they are feeling, but it also stimulates the experience
of power. Although bullies diminish others in an attempt to raise themselves up, they are not
conscious of how bad they feel about themselves. Through their behaviour, their own feelings of
inadequacy remain hidden. Diminishing others keeps shame out of their conscious awareness. If a
bully underhandedly degrades a co-worker and the co-worker responds in kind, the bully will focus
on the wrongdoing of the co-worker, and have no insight that the co-worker’s behaviour is in
response to his or her own.

Adults at work are as vulnerable as children in the playground if they sympathise with bullies and
believe they suffer from feelings of low self-esteem. Any approach to dealing with bullies will not
work if it is based on the belief that a bully is consciously aware of his or her shame, or capable of
remorse.

The way to deal with bullies is to unite with your co-workers. Grouping against a bully will provide
victims with support for their feelings, since victims of bullies are at risk of becoming isolated.
Through joining together and discussing the bully’s behaviour, co-workers can contain the bully,
who, with their behaviour exposed, loses the power to terrorise – and faces the threat of isolation.

Meanwhile, bullies can only stop their behaviour once they develop the ability to tolerate distress –
rather than acting aggressively – and learn to positively process their shame.

Social media and bullying: how to keep young people safe online
Social media can connect like-minded young people, providing vital support for those experiencing
mental health issues, however, many sites can also promote harmful behaviour. Is there a solution?

SARAH johnson

For all the benefits to mental health a digital world can bring, such as a sense of belonging and
information and support for those with problems, there are also myriad dangers associated with
online activity. In the very worst cases, people have live-streamed their suicide and had people
cheer them on in the comments section.

Meanwhile, cyberbullying and trolling, along with communities and groups on social media that
foster, glamorise or even encourage self-harm are pervasive. Stephen Buckley, head of information
at the charity Mind, acknowledges these risks: “It is vital to recognise the huge danger created by
any site or social media trend that promotes self-harm, suicide or eating disorders. They can be
hugely damaging and possibly dangerous to someone in a crisis.”

This has come to the forefront over the past decade as more and more children use smartphones
and tablets. A Young Minds report, Resilience For the Digital World, says half of Europe’s nine- to
16-year-olds now own a smartphone; the vast majority go online at least once a week, and most
daily.

Buckley says that people are now used to following their friends on social media and sharing news
of a new job, relationship, or a holiday presented in the best possible light. But this can have an
impact on individual self-esteem. “While low self-esteem is not a mental health problem in itself,
the two are closely linked. If lots of things are affecting your self-esteem for a long time, this may
lead to depression or anxiety,” says Buckley.

Pressure on young people may also come from situations where they are being bullied in daily life
that then cross over into their digital lives, says Marc Bush, chief policy adviser at Young Minds.
“For instance, victimisation in the school playground is replicated on their Facebook pages or their
WhatsApp or Snapchat groups, so they relive the distress they’re experiencing in real life on the
digital platform.”

So, what’s to be done? Bush says industry has an important role to play. Today, if you search
certain hashtags on Instagram, for example, a helpline pops up. He also cites the report from the
House of Lords communication committee, Growing Up With the Internet, which calls for a
national digital champion who can look at the rights of young people online, educate parents and
teachers on how to look out for warning signs, and support young people to understand the
consequences of bullying someone online.

The greater part of the solution, though, lies with young people themselves. “Ultimately,” says
Bush, “young people are active in the creation, consumption and distribution of these images or
forms of behaviour, so they have to be part of the solution.”

Tamanna Miah: ‘I developed severe anxiety after being bullied online.’

Tamanna Miah, 23, is a campaigner and public speaker from Kent. She describes how she coped
with being bullied on social media and what it has been like to grow up in a digital world.

“I grew up in Sevenoaks, Kent, which is a very conservative, middle-class area. I suffered from
severe bullying and racism from primary school to my all-girls secondary school until university.
When I went home, the abuse continued online. It happened on my social media networks –
Facebook, Bebo and MSN. People would comment on photos, status updates, anything that I was
doing. Sometimes it was racist or Islamophobic, or attacking my appearance or the way I acted –
anything. People would find a fault and take advantage of the situation.

I was a very shy, quiet child, I couldn’t stand up for myself, or look people in the eye. I would be
bullied at school, come home and log on to the laptop and it would continue. You wake up in the
morning to check again and it’s never-ending torment and hate. I couldn’t escape. I hated school
and my time in education. I was never happy.
I developed severe anxiety and depression as a result. I tried to get support from my school and
was unsuccessful. I visited my GP and they dismissed me and didn’t take me seriously. They said
nothing was wrong and told me to do some exercise. It wasn’t until university that I was diagnosed.

Now I try and be careful when using social media, but I also use it for networking and meeting
people. I’ve been through bullying online and offline, but I’ve also had a wealth of opportunities
through social media.

I make sure that my personal activity, photos and comments are restricted, to avoid anyone
attacking me publicly or harassing me. I don’t want to experience more abuse so I’d rather keep
personal things private. I’d say to others in similar situations to always be careful about what you
post and where.

Your online life is always going to be present. Google yourself to see what’s out there so you can
check your settings and change them if needed. If someone is bullying you, always tell a
responsible person as soon as possible. Make sure you have evidence of everything. Take
screenshots or make audio recordings.

Whatever happens, don’t give up – just keep going. We absolutely need to speak about these issues,
because if we don’t, who will?”

Culture of cruelty: why bullying thrives in higher education

In an environment where discussion, debate and criticism are encouraged, undermining behaviour
can flourish

Why employees bully other employees is a question academics have sought to answer since the
1990s.

The perspective proposed by Swedish psychologist Heinz Leymann, father of workplace bullying
research, is that we bully one another because of factors within our work environment, including
the nature of our work and organisational culture.

Characteristics of our jobs, such as low autonomy, boring tasks, unclear roles and high workload
have all been implicated as possible causes of bullying. Employees working in uninspiring jobs may
be tempted to enact destructive behaviour as a source of stimulation, whereas individuals stressed
out by heavy workloads may perpetrate bullying to cope with frustration or to assert personal
control.

What causes bullying: personality or environment?

Bullying may be further facilitated by organisational cultures and structures that permit it. In
certain organisational cultures, bullying is a means of achieving goals, and in cultures
characterised by high internal competition, it may be the most effective way of improving
reputation and climbing the ladder. Reward systems can sometimes provoke bullying as aggressive
tactics could be thought the best way to rid supervisors of either underperforming, or
overperforming subordinates.

The other perspective on why adults bully concerns personality factors. An overarching personality
profile cannot be applied to bullies or victims, however some consistent themes are apparent.
Traits associated with bullies include narcissism, unstable self-esteem, anxiety and a lack of social
competence, likewise traits linked to victims are vulnerability, low self-esteem and a propensity to
experience negative emotion.

The vulnerable victim is one typology associated with victimised individuals, but there is a growing
body of evidence which suggests that victims share the same personality traits as perpetrators,
leading to suggestions that perpetrators and victims can hold both roles.

Another view concerns interpersonal differences, as individuals who possess traits that
differentiate them from the rest of the workgroup can make them vulnerable to bullying. For
instance, in workplaces dominated by men, woman are more likely to be bullied and vice versa.

Research continues to address the causes of bullying, but perhaps surprisingly those investigating
it are themselves operating in a risk sector as high levels of bullying are consistently reported in
higher education.

In the UK, the overall prevalence of workplace bullying – based on the proportion of working
people who have experienced it – across all working sectors is usually estimated at between 10-
20%.

However the percentage of people who have experienced bullying within academic settings is
higher than the national average. UK higher education studies have found the percentage of people
experiencing it ranges between 18% to 42%.

Undermining behaviour: part of the job for academics?

Initially, it seems strange that more bullying occurs in higher education, as academic jobs are still
characterised by large amounts of personal autonomy and the academy promotes values of
collegiality and civility. However, a closer inspection can provide clues as to why bullying occurs in
this context.

Cultures where bullying flourishes have been characterised as competitive, adversarial and
politicised. While academia can be on occasion adversarial, it is more commonly competitive and
political. Perhaps this is best illustrated by the bullying behaviours most cited within academic
contexts – threats to professional status and obstructive behaviours, designed to inhibit employees
achieving their goals.

A Canadian study explored academic bullying behaviours in more depth, finding that having your
contributions ignored, being the subject of gossip and being undermined and belittled in front of
others were the behaviours most commonly experienced.

In the higher education context where discussion, debate and criticism are encouraged, behaviours
directed at undermining another individual can be more easily justified as part of the job. While
competition for limited research resources may lead to displays of power and hidden agendas that
can make the wider academic context even more toxic.

Furthermore, the “publish or perish” mentality, combined with teaching students and grant
submission targets contribute to inherent role conflict. Such daily demands inhibit the ability of
some academics to cope with bullying, and demands cause stress which may lead otherwise
rational people to engage in bullying as the spiral of work pressure increases.
Due to a lack of available research, it is unclear whether bullying is getting worse in academia,
although Jamie Lester, author of the book Workplace bullying in higher education feels it is on the
rise. It has been noted that higher education has become more competitive and hierarchical which
may facilitate greater levels of bullying.

However without documenting the rates of bullying in academic contexts over time it is impossible
to discern whether the problem is getting worse. For this reason it has been suggested that
academic institutions benchmark the nature and prevalence of bullying behaviours, while
providing education and guidelines designed to reinstate the more collegial culture that academia
may have lost.

So how can employees beat bullying? Here’s what to do if you are facing bullying at work:

• Firstly, don’t blame yourself – this will only make you feel worse.

• Keep a written record of events, along with any evidence of negative acts (eg emails, written
correspondence).

• Seek informal resolution early in the conflict – speaking to the perpetrator early on may enable
resolution without formal approaches that can be lengthy and stressful.

• If the bullying persists, identify whether your organisation has a grievance policy and report the
problem to a relevant individual eg union representative, HR manager, line manager or
occupational health adviser.

• Discuss it with your support network inside and outside of work. Support is also available from
charitable organisations.