Climbing to Meaning in a Frozen World

Catalina Shirley

2:30 AM I was out of bed,

too early to want the snooze button.
Does this even warrant “good morning?”
or “good freaking middle of the night?”
I’m inclined to go with the latter.

Bags in hand and passport in pocket,

Moving belt gliding under my feet.
The delirious daze, lack of sleep,
walking fast, and it feels like flying.
We move in a contented silence.

Recieved a message, saying good luck.

Strong, international young athlete.
Not everyone can fly in a plane,
So they remain home, training for naught.
Can’t go, political prevention.

I board the longest flight, aisle seat,

extravagant braids and kind smiles.
Words are exchanged, also a question,
a woman who lived a thousand lives.
When under ice, it’s all in your head.

Ice under my feet, but I don’t slip,

the gravel gives traction to my boots.
Bright 3PM sun and bitter cold,
wakes me up much better than coffee.
This monday is seemingly endless.

The strong evergreen trees with broad leaves,

thriving in this winter wonderland.
Fluffy dogs and cyclists in parkas,
glide smoothly past long foreign street signs.
Ice world. Elevation? Sea level.
 Arriving at our newest home base,
we venture out into the fresh air.
A line of blonde heads walk back to school,
imagine them as my little self.
I almost feel like I am at home.

Meet a new teammate, for the first time,

but instantly we know he belongs.
We show up to registration café,
and my team gets a whole lot bigger.
Happy seeing old friends, meeting new.

We slide outside to the bitter cold,

the fire of the torch warms faces.
The smiles of the athletes warm hearts,
and we laugh at the ceremony.
The good kind of nervous to compete.

Isolation does little to warm,

my frozen toes, fingers and cold nose.
Muscles only get warm when moving,
although I’m tired, climbing feels good.
Passion for my sport drives me further.

Is the shaking from nerves or the cold?

Probably a little bit of both.
Thousands of hours led up to this,
one climb lasting less than ten minutes.
Nerviness is understandable.

I come back inside disappointed,

but my teammate’s pride eases my fear.
I go back outside even stronger,
and reach for the finish with my tool.
Coming in fourth, finals tomorrow!

Conservative climb, don’t want to fall,

the ice is brittle, takes climbers out.
Effort enough, I will climb again,
 but first to go home and rest a bit.
My teammates climbed strong, satisfaction.

Awake again at the crack of dawn,

blizzarding winds surround the tower.
I’m climbing speed in several below,
and the weather takes my breath away.
First round down and one person beaten.

Second round gets the better of me,

now I’m in a battle for 3rd place.
We reach the top with similar times,
just one more run to truly shine.
I hit the buzzer gasping for breath.

When I get down I almost collapse,

silent tears of joy stream down my face.
A smile from my coach says it all,
the race is over, I have done it.
My team is focused, but they show love.

I hop up on my podium spot,

to recieve a medal on my neck.
The girls next to me stand silently,
I am beaming as their anthem plays.
My team cheers, I broke their podium.

My younger teammate stands at 1st place,

and I hear my own anthem playing.
I see tears welling up in his eyes,
and turn to my friend, she has them too.
You would understand if you were there.

Is this pride for my country? Don’t know.

The stars and stripes have brought us some pain.
Red, white and bright blue,
but with this emotional moment,
I could not have been much happier.