Dear Mr.

Gardner,

My creative and analytical writing improved exponentially over the course of my

freshman year. I started the year struggling (I have very high expectations if you have not

noticed). I knew how to write summaries and memorize information, but I lacked the ability to

analyze the essential elements of books and poetry. I must admit, I was very frustrated with my

inability to analyze our novels and poems. I was frustrated with my Odyssey test after I struggled

to answer the questions with what we discussed in class. Towards the end of the first semester, I

started to meet with you and work on my “quote sandwiches” which each included a claim, a

signal phrase, a quote, and some analysis. These meetings gradually improved my analysis and

writing overall. My paper on The Penelopiad is a perfect example of my growth in the first

semester. You commented that I was making a lot of progress on my writing and I totally agreed!

In the second semester my writing really took off. I started to enjoy our reading and my writing

kept improving.

Many of our books changed the way that I looked at literature. The Penelopiad opened

my eyes to the oppression of women in early literature. After reading The Penelopiad, I looked at

the Odyssey from a whole new perspective. Also, I enjoyed reading Things Fall Apart while

simultaneously learning about Europe’s persecution of Africa in my history class. I saw in

Things Fall Apart how the Europeans tried to force their culture on the Africans. After reading

this book, I found that the African stereotypes were not reliable and that it is dangerous to rely on

a “single story.” Lastly, I saw in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime (what I

thought was) how people on the spectrum behaved. However, after reading many articles and

reviews in class, I found that Mark Haddon misrepresented autism. All three of the books taught

me how to look at literature from different perspectives.

 My revisions reminded me the importance of being concise and connecting my body

paragraphs and analysis to my thesis. I also experimented with three different types of hooks for

my introductions. I used both questions and quotes, but I found that my most effective hooks

were short, “attention-grabbing” sentences (Ex. “Gender is pointless”).

I used this knowledge for my Penelopiad Paper revisions when I changed my hook from

a question to a powerful statement. I also emphasized why the maids presented the fake trial of

Odysseus. Additionally, I highlighted Odysseus’s maltreatment of Penelope and the maids by

expanding on my analysis. Lastly, I cleaned up my analysis to explain how Penelope is partially

responsible for the murder of the maids. My purpose of this paper was to support the claim that

the maids did not achieve justice.

I also revised Things Fall Apart Paper because I saw that I could reword and improve my

thesis statement. Specifically, instead of saying that Ezinma changed Okonkwo’s gender

preconceptions, I said that Ezinma challenged them. After I tweaked my thesis statement, I

rebuilt the paper around that new idea. I kept the same quotes because I feel like they still

support my thesis statement; however, I changed my analysis so that it fit my new thesis

statement. Lastly, I highlighted Okonkwo’s interactions (and lack of interactions) with Obierka.

My purpose of this paper was to analyze Ezinma and Okonkwo’s relationship while also

discussing the role of women in Okonkwo’s tribe.

For my first creative piece, I chose to edit my original poem because I felt that I could

improve my imagery and strengthen my verb choices. I changed my simile on line four because I

wanted to create an image of my eyes rapidly flapping open as I awoke (just like the wings of a

hummingbird). I also chose to change the description of my Christmas tree to “a fluffy fur coat

of green branches and ornaments” to enhance the Christmas imagery. I also added strong verbs
like “devour” and “struggle” to further illustrate my pain and sadness after discovering that Santa

was not real. Lastly, I added enjambment on the last line to add a pause before my powerful

ending.

I thoroughly enjoyed writing my second creative piece, chapter 71 of The Curious

Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime because I am very passionate about math and numbers. I

purposely wrote about Christopher’s views on his intelligence and emotional awareness because

I feel like there is not enough information about these topics in the book. I also know that Mark

Haddon portrays Christopher as extremely smart and I wanted to expand on that subject.

Additionally, in the real chapter 71 (the chapter after my chapter), Christopher starts off by

talking about how the other students at his school are unintelligent, so I thought my chapter

would be a good transition. I tried to incorporate multiple run-on sentences into my chapter

because Christopher often uses run-on sentences in the book. I also included a diagram that

illustrates how Christopher calculates his “smartness rating.” Lastly, I made sure to include lots

of random facts and details (like Professor Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes) that Christopher

alludes to in other parts of the book.

I am most proud of my Things Fall Apart one page paper because I feel like my thesis

and analysis in the paper are excellent. I believe that this paper shows the improvement of both

my claims and analysis. Although the paper is only one page, I struggled to keep my writing and

analysis concise. I also struggled to find evidence from the book that best supported my topic

sentences; however, after lots of hard work and re-writing my paper, I finally found (what I think

is) strong evidence that supports my claim.

As I said before, my writing and ability to analyze books and novels greatly improved

this year. I am looking forward to English class next year and I hope that my writing will
continue to improve. I plan to facilitate this improvement by reading lots of books over the

summer. I am thankful for all of the papers that you helped me with and all of the advice you

gave to me because your input made me a much better writer. Thank you for being an incredible

English teacher and I hope to see you next year!

Sincerely,

Sam Farnham