Good evening Lucy!

How’s your day?

That’s nice.

I’m also doing good. We have just finished our seminar a while back,

though it was too tiring, I have a good news. since the latter part of the

training was actually a contest. My published work was chosen as the

best output.

Is it better for young adults to live at home with their parents or to live on

their own? Please explain.

It’s becoming more common for young adults to live at home with their

parents

Data shows that in America, 15% of 25- to 35-year-old Millennials were living in their
parents’ home. This is 5 percentage points (percent ) higher than the share (number) of
(those who belong to) Generation Xers who lived in their parents’ home in 2000 when they
were(in) the same age (10%), and nearly double(d) the (share) (figure) of the Silent
Generation who lived at home in 1964 which is 8% (greater). There is no specific data
about the rate of China but we can believe (assume) that it would be much higher than
America because we have such kind of culture. Chinese people are more willing to live
with their parents even (when) they get married. (Also) And because of some practical
reasons, the rate (of young adults who live with their parents) is becoming higher and
higher these years. (this is because of the culture of Asian people. They have close family
ties) unlike in western countries, at the age of 18, they are already forced to live by their
own or they have to become independent.
The most important (main) reason is the high living cost. Young adults who have attended,
are (still) attending, or graduated from college are often have more (in) debt. The average
(price) (tuition fee) of an undergraduate (college) degree increased by $63,973, or roughly
161% (higher), since 1987. The Average amount of student’s loan debt in 2017 was
$39,400. And it’s not hard to find young people with way above average student loan debt.
In China, most of the pressure (burden) is from the apartment renting. In Shanghai young
adults need to pay 3000 to 5000 RMB per month which may be more than half of their
monthly salary. Because they face such high pressure of this problem, they have to
consider how can they (they can) save more money for a better living. To live with their
parents seems the best solution.

Another (important) reason is about the marriage age. Young adults moved out from
their parents sooner back then, because they often were married sooner. The average
age of first marriage marriageable age in 1970 was 23 for men and 20 for women. In 2017,
first marriage the average age to get married was 29 for men and 27 for women. You may
guess people are just cohabiting instead. But the number of single people is growing
dramatically. Single people are more likely to live with their parents than living alone. They
need company from family. They prefer to be accompanied by their family.

Furthermore, young adults have more open (close) relationships with their parents. It
makes (it) easier to choose the option to live with parents if mom and dad know and
accept that you are gay, or they know and accept that you are a celibatarian, or others.
Parents because they respect their child(ren) and they don’t push them to live like how
they live (by themselves). It makes young adults more willing to live with their parents.

From these 3 facts (reasons) we can see that it is not only the economic reason but also
the emotional reason that makes the rate (number of young adults who prefer to live with
their parents) much higher than before. But we all know adults should make a living by
their own. So if the parents are still sharing a home with their children when making these
decisions, they may need to become more disciplined to negotiate a fair contribution
towards the costs of keeping a room available for their sons and daughters to live in.
You have another way to attack the topic or issue. You used data or statistics.
But make your numbers relevant to your topic. It should be localized. Focus on the
data gathered in china. If there are no available data. Use other hooks to make
your written work more interesting. But I commend you in using different styles
and exploring more in terms of writing.

Your purpose became more informative rather than persuasive. Because you just
presented data or information. And in the very first par. You didm’t have you stand
wheter it is positive or negative.

In this output, it seems that you were quite challenged with the words to be used in
sentences. I think it’s because of the topic.