I wrapped my arms around my Grandpa wondering if this would be our last hug.

By the

end of 2018, almost two million new cases of cancer will be diagnosed within the United States.

Out of these millions of new cases, only one holds significance in my life.

My father pressed the phone against his ear and I heard the concern in my aunt’s voice regarding

my Grandpa’s future. It is not the words she said, it was the tone of her voice that stood out the

most. The message was clear, my Grandpa had been diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. I felt a

sense of panic throughout my entire body and knew we needed to make the most of every minute

we had left with him. Our family made the long trek from North Carolina to Kentucky countless

times the last year of his life. Each time we arrived, things were visibly different: the grim effects

of this wretched disease consumed his frail frame. Contemplating how long this fight would go

on, I searched for answers, “why him?” “why now?” “why me?”

By seeming coincidence, all of these questions would soon be challenged through the

opportunity of a lifetime.

I was assigned the Cancer Infusion Center for my second summer as a UNC Rex

VolunTEEN. Soon after I received my position, my Grandpa courageously fought and lost his

life to lung cancer. Resentment for this disease amplified when I began working in the Cancer

Infusion Center.

I walked into a small, rectangular-shaped room with monochromatic walls. There were

seven chairs lined in a row. In each chair sat a patient with a unique condition but common

connection. When one couple first arrived, I could not distinguish the cancer patient. As time

progressed, the wife became increasingly weak and had to be transported by wheelchair. Her

coloring became ghostly and her bones pressed tightly against her skin. While the cancer
changed her appearance, the couples love for each other and kindness towards me never

changed. I realized the importance of supporting the victims and cherishing what little time we

all have left. The effects of cancer ripple through the entire family, Patients experience the

physical hardships, but loved ones experience the emotional hardships. As an outsider peering

within, I noticed the energetic dynamic constantly changing among these families.

As a volunteer, you desire to feel like you are making a difference; however, during this

job, I realized I was unable to truly help them and was only providing palliative care. As I reflect

on these experiences, I grew as a person, walking away and receiving more than I gave. As I

enter the next chapter of life, I hope to look back on this experience and understand it is not

always about what you give or what you get. Life is about making the most of your current

situation. Every season of life is a different chapter. After seeing these patients face their most

difficult challenges, I realize we can no longer take time for granted.

Whether I continue to volunteer, work to raise awareness, or go as far as to practice

medicine through researching for a cure, I will always be inspired by the lives of my Grandpa

and the patients I cared for this past year. I’ve been changed by these experiences which have

shaped who I have become and my perception of the world in which I live. The future remains

unknown, but what I do know is that I will try living every day as if it were my last.