Do you have colour TVs?

"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

* * * * *

Sardarji calls Air India.

"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs up.

* * * * *

Sardarji is filling up a job application.

He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS,
etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED.
After much thought he writes: Yes.

* * * * *

Sardarji proposes to a woman.

She says yes, if you bring me a pair of crocodile
boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally they find him hunting crocodiles
and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs, angrily
exclaims:
"71st and *again* barefoot!"

* * * * *

Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.

He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold
things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new
Thermos.

His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that

shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold
thingscold."

The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"

The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

* * * * *

What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?

He compares it with the original for spelling
mistakes.

* * * * *

What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and

wants an extra sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

* * * * *

There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.

They were planning
for a free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh...we'll take Punjab
from India but how
would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed.
Banta Singh had a brainwave... "No problem! We'll
attack Amrika, it would
take over
us and then we would become a State of USA and develop
automatically."

All the surds became happy with this very simple

solution but an old surd
was not.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL... WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN IF BY
CHANCE WE TOOK OVER
AMRIKA???"

* * * * *

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a

bargain. "I would
like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. He
hurried home removed his
turban and changed his hair style, and returned to
tell the salesman "I
would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to
Sardars," Salesman
replied.

"Damn, he recognised me," he thought. He went for a

complete disguise this
time, haircut, new hair colour, new outfit, big
sunglasses,
waited a few days, saw the salesman again. "I would
like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a
Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
* * * * *

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

* * * * *

How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?

Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

* * * * *

What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at

you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

* * * * *

What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you?

Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.

* * * * *

How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday?

Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

* * * * *

What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands

tightly over his ears?
He was trying to hold on to a thought.

* * * * *

Why does Sardarji work seven days a week?

So you don't have to retrain him on Monday.

* * * * *

Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes?

He always forget the recipe.

* * * * *

How did Sardarji try to kill the bird?

He threw it off a cliff.

* * * * *

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

* * * * *

What do you see when you look into Sardarji's eyes?

The back of his head.
* * * * *

What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?

Just-beer Singh. (Silent t)

* * * * *

Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning

blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot.

* * * * *

Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes?

Toes Go In First.

* * * * *

How can you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?

It has a stamp on it.

* * * * *

Why can't Sardarji dial 911?

He can't find the 11 on the dial.

* * * * *

How do you get Sardarji on the roof?

Tell him the drinks are on the house.

* * * * *

"Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardarji looked skyward

and asked, "Where,
Where?

* * * * *

What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * * * *

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman

than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

* * * * *

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kms a

day for 300 days, he
would loose 34 kgs.
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to
report he had lost
the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400
kms from home."

* * * * *
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are at a railway
station.
Hari asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to
Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the clerk.
"Can I?" asks Gani.

* * * * *

Sardarji is travelling by train. He feels sleepy, so

he gives the guy
opposite 20 rupees to wake him up when his station
comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees
Sardarji deserves more.
So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly
shaves off his beard.
When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji
and sends him home.
Reaching home, he goes to wash his face, and suddenly
screams when he sees
the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes
up someone else!"

* * * * *

Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down to his

knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked, "Your donkey is
missing. What are you
thanking God for?"
Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it
that I wasn't riding
the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would have been missing too."

* * * * *

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth

certificate.
"Mother: Sikh.
Father: Sikh.
Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are
Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th
person born on the Earth
now is a Chinese."

* * * * *
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to
the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (barking sound )
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof!
Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and
don't touch anything!"

* * * * *

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which

has a Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on
the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and
I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having
waited for several hours
the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.
On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along
the same street and the
same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not
a fool. This time,
you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

* * * * *

Santa and Banta Singhs landed up in Bombay and got

into a doubledecker.
Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat in the
bus.
Unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. When the
rush was over, Santa went
upstairs to
look up Banta, found Banta in badly scared, clutching
the seats in front
with both hands.
Santa asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so
scared? I was enjoying
my ride down there?
Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but you've got a
*driver*."

* * * * *

Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor. The
doctor asked him what
had happened to his ears. "I was ironing a shirt when
the phone rang.
Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked
up the iron and stuck
it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But...what happened to your
other ear?" "The scoundrel called again."

Four stages of love : >1) Hand in hand >2) That in

hand >3) Hand in that >4) That in that >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >How can you tell if your computer mouse is male
/ female ? >Hey you don hav to turn it upside down to
see it dumbo..Its female cos >it > uses a PAD ! >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >Why is 69 position called a smokers position ?
>Cos while she is smoking the cigar >he is cleaning
the ashtray >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >How to use a prepaid sexcard. >1) Scratch panty
>2) Look for the hole >3) Insert the penis into hole
>4) u shall hear "OH AHH OUCH" ur card is successfully
recharged. >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >What is the difference between the panties of
1960 and 2003 ? > In 60s you had to part the panty to
see the bum >but in 03 u hav to part the bum to see
the panty. >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >Four miracles of a woman : >Getting wet without
taking a shower, >Bleeding without being hurt, >Giving
milk without eating grass, >Making boneless flesh
hard. >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >Did you hear bout the mouse who took
Viagra?-half an hour later he was >running round the
kitchen shoutin, "whers the f***ing pussy?" >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >Your network tariff has changed! Tariff is now
calculated accordin to >ur >dick's size (the shorter
the cheaper ).Congrats you can now make free >calls! >
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
----- >-- > >Every cigarrette you smoke reduces ur
life by 5 mins. >Sex increases life by 10 mins.so teh
basic equation is >" A F*##ING SMOKER NEVER DIES !" >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage >as
they have wisened to the fact that for 200 grams for
sausage . >Its not worth buying the whole pig >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >Husband climbs on bed naked. >Wife : I've a
headache. > Hus:Good ! I've powdered my dick with
aspirin, u want it orally or as >an >injection? >
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-- > >Why is Delhi a male city ( Mahanagar ) and
>Mumbai a female city ( Mahanagri ) ? >Delhi has Qutub
Minar and Bombay has Gateway of India. > >