TAMING THE TONGUE (4): ITS POTENCY TO DISCLOSE

(James 3:1)
June 23, 2019

Read James 3:9-12 – Here’s a question. Who are you? Not who do you want
to be. Not who do people think you are. Not who do you think you are, but
who are you really? Want to find out? Just listen to yourself. The tongue is the
great discloser. Mt 12:34b: “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth
speaks.” Mouth reveals heart. Problem is, we’re not very good listeners.

But I can tell you one thing. If you don’t use your words to find out who you
are, everybody else will. The worst thing that happened to President Nixon in
Watergate was when the tapes came out. Bad enough that they showed illegal
activities; but what really undermined him was the unguarded words that
revealed his profaneness and meanness of spirit. I’m not trashing Nixon, but
there was a nastiness there. Billy Graham who considered himself a friend and
spent many nights in the WH said he realized he never really knew the man –
not until he heard his unguarded words. The tongue is the great discloser!

That’s Jas’ point as he closes this section. The unguarded tongue reveals who
we really are! Full disclosure. It turns us inside out, revealing all. So let’s
examine how the tongue reveals us and what to do about it.

I. The Telltale Tongue

So you go to church. You master the lingo. You look like a true believer. You
feel good about yourself and everyone else feels good about you. But are you
real? How do you know? 8) but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a
restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9) With it we bless our Lord and Father, and
with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.” How do you
know if you’re real or not? The telltale tongue! Listen -- really listen – and
you will know. Listen hard! If you find that you talk bless God at church and
around other Xns, and talk differently other times, you’ve deceived yourself.

You say, “Well, I never curse people.” Really? Sure? Ever say “idiot” when
you’re cut off on the freeway? Ever talk about anybody behind their back in a
way you never would to their face? Ever swear at someone under your breath
at some perceived wrong? Ever say or think, “Damn you,” to someone? Ever
speak with venom about someone who differs with you politically? Then you
have cursed someone made in the likeness of God – and you can’t make up for
that by being sweetness and light at church or with Xn friends.
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Jas says, “10) From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers,
these things ought not to be so.” Why should that not be? Bc it’s a telltale sign
of one of two things – either you are not a true believer at all -- self-deceived,
or you are not living up to your calling. You are denying with your life what
you claim with your mouth. Either way, “these things ought not to be so.”

The Pharisees claimed to bless God – were, in their minds, the great defenders
of God’s Word. Yet when the living Word arrived, they accused Him of
blasphemy and crucified Him. Their tongues revealed hearts which were had
no relationship with God. We have theologians today who call the teaching
that Jesus died for our sins “a form of cosmic child abuse.” They claim a God
of love could never do any such thing. But their words deny God’s Word:
Rom 5:8: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners,
Christ died for us.” Far from child abuse, the cross images God’s love!

But believers can have uncontrolled tongues, too. Peter confessed Jesus was
“the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Mt 16:16). But hours later he denied
that he even knew Jesus. That revealed his cowardice, tho His heart as a true
believer was revealed bc Lu 22:62: “He went out and wept bitterly.” But the
damage was done. He’d denied the Christ he wanted to serve. John, who
advised in I Jn 4:7, “Beloved, let us love one another,” once wanted to call
fire down from heaven when some Samaritans rejected Jesus (Lu 9:54). Paul
once called the high priest a “whitewashed wall” (Acts 23:3). Their tongues
were sometimes out of synch with their true faith. If we sometimes fail,
we’re in good company. But they knew “these things ought not to be so” –
that they’d misrepresented the Father. They confessed and moved on.

J. Vernon McGee worked in a bank while going to school. One day his boss
said, “Vernon, I hope you’ll be a genuine servant of God. But the reason
I’m not a Xn is when I set up Old Hickory branch outside Nashville, one of
the tellers was a soloist at a church I attended.” One Sunday he heard a
woman say, “That man is wonderful. He sings just like a angel!” He said
nothing, but the woman came to see him on business one day when she
overheard some very vile language from one of the tellers. He couldn’t
balance accounts and responded with an explosion of profanity. The women
said, “Who is that?” The VP responded, “That’s your soloist who sings like
an angel on Sunday.” The incident caused him to lose interest in Christ.

Want to know who you are?! Hang a pretend tape recorder around your neck
for a day and play it back that evening and you’ll know. Your tongue will tell.
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 II. The True Tongue

In contrast to the untamed tongue, the Spirit-controlled tongue will reflect the
fruit of the Spirit. 11) Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both
fresh and salt water? 12) Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine
produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.” A fig tree doesn’t
give olives and a fresh water spring doesn’t give salt water. The internal
source determines the outward product. So an unbelieving heart could never
produce Spirit-controlled speech.

But Jas is addressing believers. Is he teaching sinless perfection? No. But he

is saying to the extent that the tongue is Spirit-controlled, it will produce God-
inspired fruit. Gal 5: 22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23) gentleness, self-control; against such
things there is no law.” You’ll know if your heart is Spirit-controlled by what
comes out of your mouth – even toward enemies. Lu 6:27-28: “But I say to
you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28) bless
those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” If our tongues were
perfectly true and tamed, this is what would be happening. So, why isn’t it? If
we’re new creations in Christ, why isn’t this always reflected in our speech?

Paul tells us. It turns out the HS isn’t the only force at work in us. Gal 5: 17)
For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit
are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from
doing the things you want to do.” Our tongue is not always true because two
sources of speech lie within –flesh and Spirit. My words indicate to which
I’ve ceded control. Untamed responses show I’ve momentarily yielded control
to the old me. The tongue never lies in that regard. Every word I speak or
even think reflects a heart under the Spirit’s control at that moment or a heart
under the control of the flesh. The fresh water of the Spirit cannot spring forth
from my tongue when it is tapping into the salt water of the old me.

A surgeon takes his car in for repairs. Soon part are strewn all over the shop.
A friend comes by, sees all the parts and says, “You know, Doc, sometimes I
think this work is as complicated as the work you do.” The surgeon replies,
“Maybe -- but let’s see him do his repairs – while the engine is running!”
That’s exactly what causes inconsistency in the speech of a believer. The HS
has been invited in, and given license to make God-inspired changes. But the
believer is a living being who can grab control back at any time. In other
words, the HS is operating while the engine is still running, do you see?
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So how do we cooperate with Him in producing a truly tamed tongue. It’s not
easy. Prov 16:32: “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he
who rules his spirit than he who take a city.” It’s not easy to tame the tongue.
But true believers work at it to bring healing rather than hurt. But how do we
do it – tame the tongue – bring it under the Spirit’s control? Three things.

III. The Taming of the Tongue

A. Acknowledge the Crime – Repentance is part of the lifestyle

of those who belong to Christ – and that applies to the tongue. The moment
we sense our tongue has betrayed us, we must confess it. It felt so good to set
the other person straight, to pass on the juicy bit of gossip, to assassinate an
unworthy character, to blast an offending spouse, to defend the violation of
my rights, to one-up a fellow-worker. It felt so good. But then the Spirit
brings these words to mind: “The tongue of the wise brings healing.” And
we’ve been brought up short. Time to submit to the Spirit rather than the flesh.

So we confess – first to God. I Jn 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful

and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” That’s
the magna carta of the believer. Cleansing thru confession. But that also
requires a second act – confession to the one we’ve offended. So hard to do.
So painful. But required. Mt 5:23: “So if you are offering your gift at the altar
and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24) leave
your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and
then come and offer your gift.” There are a lot of reasons the Lord asks that,
but one sure reason is, there’s nothing like the humility of a heartfelt apology
to help think twice the next time before we run off at the mouth, right?

I saw an interesting sign in a restaurant one time: “Sorry – we’re open!” That
didn’t exactly inspire confidence! But having to say to someone, “Sorry, my
mouth was open when it should not have been” will indeed invite trust and
inspire thinking twice the next time. So the first step to taming the tongue is –
Acknowledge the crime. Call it what it is – to God and the one offended.

B. Ask for Control – Ask who? God, of course. Pray for help.
It’s an admission we can’t do it on our own. We know that by now. How
many times have you resolved never to lose your temper again – to think
before you talk? How many resolutions have you broken? So, seek help to
control your tongue. God loves to help His children when they acknowledge
their need of Him.
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I realize it’s hard to confess the same offense for the 50th time – that day, and
then ask for help. But ask yourself, would the Christ who told Peter he needed
to forgive the same sin 70 X 7, would that Christ Himself withhold
forgiveness? Would the God who said, “I will forgive their iniquity, and will
remember their sin no more” (Jer 31:34), would that God withhold His help?

Perhaps we don’t ask because we feel like that’s using God as a crutch. Ted
Turner once called Xnty “a religion for losers” -- people who can’t get thru
life on their own. But who is the loser: the person who knows he can’t do
something on his own and asks for help, or the person who thinks he can do it
on his own and keeps failing? When it comes to the tongue, we all need help.
The difference is believers have a place to get it!

So, ask for help. A few years ago a couple of teen-agers in Detroit discovered
a woman unconscious in a phone booth as a result of a heart attack. They
carried her to a nearby house and ran the bell, asking for help. The reply –
“Get off my porch – and take her with you.” God will never do that. Ask –
and keep on asking.

C. Act to Correct – So you asked God. Now what? Sit back

and wait. Of course, not. It’s always a two-way street, isn’t it? Phil 2:13 told
us, “It is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good
pleasure.” God is always the ultimate source of victory. But the verse just
before that says, “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” We
can’t ask God for something we won’t to invest in ourselves. Yes, ultimate
victory depends on Him. Acknowledge that. But get busy doing what you can.

Set up guidelines. Count to 10 before you speak is some of the best advice I
ever got. Gives the HS time to impose himself in my thoughts. Memorize
Prov 12:18: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the
tongue of the wise bring healing.” The Spirit will use that to ask, “Which do
you want to be?” Make a study of gracious people and see how they speak.
Learn their words and patterns and begin to make them yours.

One that helped me more than any other. Anticipate. How often do you find
yourself going thru the same old argument with your spouse or kids or
someone at work? It’s like déjà vu all over again! But you know the
definition of insanity, right? Doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results? The same applies to words. So replay your
repetitive failures. Think ahead of time how you could vary words and tone to
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get a different outcome. You’ll be amazed how quickly you can change the rut
you’re in.

Do the same thing every night. As you bed down, replay the day, Repent of
the failures and consider what you could have done differently. Act to correct
the speech patterns you are asking God to heal in your life.

Conc – Okay – we’re at the end of the series. So here’s your tongue
assignment. Do the following for the next week.
1. Do not complain or grumble.
2. Do not boast about anything at all.
3. Do not gossip or repeat bad information about someone else – something
you wouldn’t want repeated about you.
4. Do not run somebody down, even a little bit.
5. Do not defend or excuse yourself – no matter what.
6. Do always affirm other people.

Keep that assignment. “If you can do it for an hour, you’re a better man
than I am, Gunga Din.” But even if you could do it for an hour, remember,
you’re not allowed to boast about it, right? The point of the test is to help us
see our failures of heart, to see how hard it is, and to drive us constantly to
God for forgiveness, cleansing and change.

Words kill. I know a man in his late 70’s who still recalls how his father-in-
law belittled him at a Thanksgiving meal over some little disagreement: “You
know, I never had much use for you anyway.” Just words – but never
forgotten and still painful. Let’s make ours words of healing, not words of
hurt. We all stumble in many ways. Let’s determine with God’s help to
stumble a bit less. Let’s pray.