HPYNO PARENTING

(part 2)

John McDuren

Pitsburgh University
UNDERSTANDING OF HYPNOPARENTING

Before discussing the notion of hypnoparenting, first there needs to be an equal perception of what
hypnosis is. Well, I will ask if you have ever felt hypnotized? Never, maybe that's your answer
spontaneously. Okay whatever your answer is no problem, now I ask again, have you ever done
hypnosis? Of course never. Well those answers are sometimes caused by our a priori attitude
towards hypnosis.

Hypnosis is still considered something that coincides with the world of mystics, magical smells,
supernatural or the notion that people who can be hypnotized are only fools, hypnosis can cause
forgetfulness and so on. Okay, let's check your answer. Is it true that you have never been
hypnotized.

Have you ever watched a soap opera so you drifted to tears when your idol was persecuted? Or are
you absorbed in reading a book until you don't hear it when you are called a friend? Or are you
enjoying playing games or texting until you forget the time? Well ... if that's ever been true. If you've
ever felt it, then you've already been hypnotized.

Hypnosis is a normal and natural phenomenon in everyday life. Without realizing it, everyone often
experiences a trance, for example when watching an interesting movie, driving a car, reading a book,
working in front of a computer and others.

Good if you feel you have never done hypnosis, I will try to give an example. A negative example like
this. For example, you, as a parent and figure who is deemed to have authority, when you know that
your child has a test score that is far below your expectations, said "You are an idiot. You always get
bad grades. From the beginning until now your grades have never been good. Wonder ... how come
there are stupid kids like you? "

What you do for your child is a form of hypnosis that is very powerful. Hypnosis that you do can
penetrate directly into the subconscious mind of the child, through the gate of the subconscious
mind which is then wide open due to feelings of fear of getting bad grades and will be very effective.
Why is it effective? Because the sentence you "choose" is really a very effective affirmation. Try to
look back at the sentence above. Especially the words I underlined. And that is what is installed in
children.

So in principle we often experience hypnosis because hypnosis is actually a natural phenomenon,

and we as parents or teachers also often do hypnosis, because parents or teachers are authority
figures so that what is said can be received directly by the subconscious mind of the child.

Well, now is the time for us to discuss hypnoparenting awareness. Hypnoparenting consists of 2
basic words, namely hypnosis and parenting. Let us briefly discuss one by one so that the meaning of
hypnoparenting can be correctly understood. Hypnosis in Indonesia is still considered as one thing
filled with mystery. There are still many who think that hypnosis involves the power of darkness or a
form of supernatural practice. Therefore not a few people who believe that things that smell of
hypnosis must be shunned or avoided.
There are also those who argue that hypnotized subjects cannot control their own thoughts and in
conditions that are completely unconscious or even some say that if they are often hypnotized they
will forget their memories and be easily influenced by others or even easily entered into "spirits".
Okay now we will discuss it.

The first time you need to know is that in this world there are two major schools of hypnosis, namely
East and West. In the East, many things are mystical or "magical". Whereas in the West, it is
influenced by theories about the mind and structure of language. Hypnosis which will be reviewed
here follows the West. So everything is based on scientific research from experts from the world of
medicine and psychology.

Once again the phenomenon of hypnosis we experience every day. Have you ever seen a moving
movie to cry? You dissolve in the film so that it seems to be something real. That is hypnosis.
Another example is imagine a lemon that is very fresh in front of you. Imagine the orange is split into
2 parts and then poured into the mouth. How does your body react? Is there any influence? Does
your saliva runny? If you notice the orange isn't there, it's just imagination, isn't it? But why does our
body react the same way when the orange really exists? That is hypnosis. Our brain captures the
mental picture of lemon. And when we do it with feeling and concentration, the brain considers it to
be a reality and instructs the body to act in the same way when we were dealing with real lemon.

One important condition that must be here is that you must have experience with lemon
beforehand so that you can imagine in detail. If you have never seen lemon before, then the
suggestion above will not work.

There is no "magical" or "mystical" element right? To understand the phenomenon of lemons above,
we must understand how the mind works. What does it mean? That is, we must understand how the
mind processes stimulation from the outside (in this case in the form of words) into a mental image
based on information that is already in the memory of the previous mind. With the above
understanding, we will now realize that all the process of entering information into the mind is a
process of hypnosis.

Now what is Parenting? Parenting is anything that deals with the duties of parents in educating and
raising children. Our job as parents in educating and raising children is actually very heavy and full of
twists and turns challenges. Unfortunately we only have experience as a child who was educated
and raised by our parents. Most parenting styles and parents' patterns for us eventually color our
duties as parents. We treat our children as parents treat us before. We should treat children as we
used to be treated by our parents. That way we act on the basis of a child's feelings. Not on the basis
of our feelings as parents. Because what we think is good is not necessarily what our children want
for sure. In other words, we act on the basis of our own perceptions rather than the perception of a
child.

Therefore with hypnoparenting we try to map and make a system of all things that relate to our
duties as parents in terms of the perspective of how the mind works and how it affects the future of
a child. Why do we review it from the perspective of how the mind works? Because everything is
rooted in the mind. Humans, children to adults, do everything because they have thoughts.
Everything about the theory of growth and development of children will not succeed if we fail to
understand the workings of the mind. One simple thing? Why does a baby learn to walk? Because he
saw all the adults around him walking upright with his legs. Not because his age did allow him to
walk. If during the first 5 years of his life, he only saw people around him crawling, he would
certainly crawl too. Will never walk upright. This is the simplest mechanism of hypnosis. We have
influenced a baby with a clear example that one day it will run as we do adults. This is captured by
his subconscious brain and processed until one day the baby starts trying to stand up straight and
walk. But because the bones are not strong, he will fall. But because we suggest, "Let's try again.
Standing again dear you can do it "so he finally could walk. Imagine what would happen if I
suggested, "Alaaa, it's useless you won't be able to. Just sit down, don't stand or walk ", will the baby
be able to walk? Certainly not.

That is a brief description of the definition of hypnoparenting. In this section I will try to discuss the
problem of parenting first, then the problem of hypnosis. For the application of hypnosis in detail, it
will be discussed in the second part.

ARE YOU READY ………

Well if you are ready, let's play for a moment. We are remembering our childhood today I want to
invite you to sing. Do it with enthusiasm. Okay we try by singing my balloon there are five. Okay let's
start 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... "My balloon has five, various colors". Enough, if that's not so exciting, try singing
by changing all vowels with "o". okay let's start 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... "Bolonko odo lomo, ropo ......" continue
to the end.

The song above is just warming up, if you do it with enthusiasm and right then the second song will
be even more interesting. You memorized the song "Little Star", I'm sure we've all been small and
have sung it by changing all the words at the end of the sentence replaced by "monkey". Okay, for
example "Monkey star, in the monkey sky". I'm sure you can and are able to sing to the end. Okay,
let's start 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... "Star Monkey ..." continue!

Oops ... why did you stop singing, why didn't you end. Well ... workshop or seminar participants are
usually only able to sing this song until the verse "I'm a monkey" ... then face each other and laugh
without wanting to continue. We often face this incident, suddenly we stop and are stunned to see
our child is not as expected. And it is your spontaneous reaction that determines the next Child
program.

PARENTING PROBLEMS

Parenting is a process of ongoing interaction between parents and their children which includes the
following activities: nourishing, guiding, and protecting children as they grow. Parenting activities
usually occur in a family environment, but parenting is not limited to those who give birth to
children. Parenting responsibilities are also carried out by other parties in the community, such as
teachers at the school, housemaids, baby sitters, and the children's friends, as well as the mass
media (TV, newspapers and magazines). However, parents are the ones most responsible for loving
and caring for children and helping them grow.

But the fact is, many parents who do not prepare themselves specifically become parents with
parenting sciences. Although I and my deceased wife did not prepare themselves specifically, at least
armed with a degree in psychology at least we had the basic knowledge and lived only the
application. Okay, back to …… our problem. The problem of parenting is very important because
actually the responsibility of the child is in the parents.

This is evident in a hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim stating "Every baby is born in a state of
fitrah, and his parents make him Jewish, Christian or Magi." The hadith shows that parents are
actually masters of hypnosis for their children, because in the hands of parents it is actually children
who can be tangible, smart, naughty, timid, anxious, lacking in confidence and so on. This is the
importance of parenting for parents and teachers.

Now, let's ask ourselves again. Have we mastered the science of parenting (either through
workshops or seminars) before our children are born? Or, exactly before we get married? Try to
remember again. Do we also make a priority to master the science of parenting before we get
married? If you answer YES, thank God ... I'm proud. That means you include high-educated parents
towards the preparation of future generations. However, if you answer NO / YET, of course I can be
sarcastic, you are including a parent who "BONEK" aka desperate bondo. Dare to have children,
without first having knowledge of parenting.

Our first child has become a "guinea pig" to practice being a parent. One ad said, "how come for
kids, try it ...". Bonek parents like this are sometimes often "mingle" with their children. Even so,
there is no need to worry too much. I keep slut because you now dare to relearn the knowledge of
being a parent, even though children have already been born many years ago, you are now a
learning parent. The proof, you have made the decision to invest by buying this book. Now, you read
it enthusiastically and participate in practicing some of the tasks in it.

So, being a parent really needs knowledge? Of course. Without mastery of knowledge, unwittingly,
parents or teachers have the opportunity to fall into the wrong ways of nurturing. This can adversely
affect children. Accidentally, parents can also slip on parenting stuttering love. What are some
examples of wrong behavior without realizing it?

Well, let us now continue our adventure as parents. First, let's look back to see for a moment our
feelings, while living childhood with parents. How does it feel? Stop for a moment to reminisce ...

Do those experiences feel so good? Do you feel so happy? Or are there strokes of pain that settle?
Hmm ... whatever that feeling is, it is clear that feeling is stored in the memory of our subconscious.
And, that subconscious is now without you realizing it plays a role in your current pattern of
parenting. Likewise with your worries as a parent. Many of these conditions are influenced by our
feelings that are recorded strongly in our subconscious.

Thankfully you have managed to feel your worry about the baby. It is this feeling that encourages
you to do everything in your power and effort to ensure that that concern does not occur. You love
the children that are bestowed upon us. Yes, now we get two keywords, namely worry and love. In
the name of extraordinary love for children, we try our best to make that worry come true. I try to
guess, as well as summarize your worries, that you are not willing if your child experiences "blurred
things" that occur in your childhood.

• If you did not get enough religious education in the past, now you want your child to be better at
religiosity.
• If you were "miserable" because of financial constraints, you would hope that your child would not
experience such a difficult time.

• If you get care that is too hard and you feel scratched by it, now you are secretly treating your child
more softly.

In short, there is a tendency for parents to use the "difference with the past" approach. There must
be improvements in the degree of life for our children. And we struggle so that it happens. However,
there are also parents who have other tendencies. If in childhood he had received hard and strict
care, now similar things were applied to their children. The excuse is, "Your father and mother were
also educated by your grandparents like this". In simple language, parents will repeat the principles
of parenting they experienced in the past.

So, we can draw a tendency that there are two patterns of parents in educating their children. First,
by repeating the style of education that was found in childhood. Second, do the opposite so that
their childhood is not repeated in their children. This is what I call the covert pattern of "revenge"
parenting. If the pattern of care continues over and over from generation to generation, then we will
go round and round in terms of parenting.

Therefore, I recommend agarkita, as parents and teachers, begin to rethink seriously about the
pattern of care. What is the right care for our children to avoid repetitive patterns. Stop to harbor
the parenting we get from our parents or teachers in the past. Rest assured, that whatever has
happened to us, the behavior of our parents and teachers, is actually the best care they know at that
time.

If only our parents had adequate training, of course things that felt scratched would not have
happened. Indeed, no parent consciously aspires to his son's misery. Again, forgive the past. And,
let's look for the best patterns in parenting our children based on the science of education
(parenting) not only based on our childhood experiences.

Take a breath, hold it out, well, take it out, take your breath for a moment, hold it in a count of five,
please take out 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... well let go. Now close your eyes for a moment, while thanking
God for the gift of the birth of our children ... feel that happiness in your heart. Who are you now a
great parent.

ARE YOU READY ………

If you are ready to become a great parent, follow me! Hold your hands on your chest. Say with
enthusiasm by raising your hand "I'm a great parent!". Good to do with more enthusiasm three
times. Remember to do with a strong intensity of emotions, because the intensity of your emotions
will be able to penetrate into your subconscious mind. Repeat again, good ... when saying "I'm a
great old man!" If there are tears that want to come out, let it flow. The more intense the response
will be the better by the subconscious mind. Rest assured you are indeed a great person for your
children and spouse.

You don't need to feel like a fool by doing this. This is education for your subconscious mind. In the
future it has been explained that the way to reach the subconscious mind is by repetition or
repetition, strong intensity of emotions and reference groups. The exercise above combines the
three methods described. So just enjoy every exercise you have, enjoy the process. Do it once again,
say excitedly by raising your hand "I am a great parent!" Well, do it three times. Well, from today
onwards, allow yourself to consciously proceed to become a great parent, allowing you from today
onwards to proceed with being a great parent, starting today and so on, allow yourself to be a great
parent. Because indeed you are a great parent. Say it again by filling in the points that are with your
name ……. Great parents, ……. Parents are loved, ……. Dear ... (mention your partner). Do this
exercise often before bed. Congratulations on proceeding to become a great parent. RELIGIOUS
GREETINGS ……
HOW IT WAS SELF-CONCEPT FORM
I am a child who …………………………………………………… guess what. What sentence will your child use to
complete the points above? Will he fill in positive words or vice versa? The following sentence
written by your child illustrates his concept. Self-concept is the key to unlocking potential treasure.
Self-concept is the main foundation for the success of the learning process. In the future it has been
explained that the self concept is a biological computer operating system.

Whatever type of computer, you want to use a Pentium 4 CPU, Dual Core, Core 2 Duo, if the
Operating System is not compatible or does not support, we can be sure that the CPU speed cannot
be maximized. The existence of a child who cannot get good grades on mathematics is not because
he is a mathematical fool, but rather because his Operating System is not compatible with
mathematics.

Why can't it be compatible? One of them is because of installing the wrong program on math
lessons. Installing this program can be created by people who always scold children for not being
able to get good grades in mathematics, reinforced by the attitude of teachers who are less
supportive of themselves, so that children really feel that they are STUPID in mathematics. Two
authority figures and carried out over and over again followed by high emotional intensity, can be
ascertained ... SIMSALAMBIM ... O my son be you Fool in Mathematics.

Let's make it like this. I will try to describe the self concept through a story, so that it is easier to
understand.

Once, there was a farmer who discovered the eagle's egg. The farmer intends to incubate the egg,
but it is difficult to find the Rajawali mother who can be close to human life. In short, the Rajawali
egg is then "entrusted" to a chicken that is incubating its eggs. When hatching, the eagle's child
found himself with the mother hen and other small yam siblings. Rajawali's children, in their daily
lives, feel themselves as chicks. The mother of chicken also treats the safekeeping of children with
the same pattern of care for their biological children. Wahasil, once upon a time an eagle was flying
hovering in the air in search of prey. All the chickens are in hiding, including the Rajali child. In the
bush the eagle boy murmured, "Hmm ... how well the crows can, can fly high and reach a wider area
..." As time went on, the Rajawali child grew up, but he remained alive with the pattern of chicken
behavior until he died .

Well, that's how it's self-concept. It could be that one person is born with an intelligent brain
capacity. However, because his self-concept was negative, he did not grow up to be an outstanding
child.

Let us review a hadith which means "Every baby is born in a state of fitrah and his parents are the
ones who make him Jewish, Christian or Magi." When a child is born, we are analogous to a table
that has no legs. When children grow, events, life experiences through interaction with parents,
family and the environment will give the table a leg, whether they are less confident, shy, timid and
so on. How sturdy are the table legs, influenced by three things:
1. Who installed the foot; people who are considered to have authority will have a strong influence
on whether or not their feet are installed. Who is the person who has authority according to the
child? First, parents and after that the teacher.

2. How strong is the intensity that arises at that time; if the child is sad or embarrassed, then we give
the supporting leg of the self-concept table, for example by saying "You idiot, just like that can't"
then this negative leg will be very sturdy. Likewise, vice versa, if we put a positive foot.

3. Repetition / repetition; how often the event is experienced by the child, the more often, the
stronger the foot is attached.

Once self-concept is formed. No matter good or bad, self-concept will operate at the subconscious
level and it will be difficult to change it. The biggest difficulty is not the problem of self-concept or
not. Can be improved or not. However, the emphasis is more on the fact that the majority of
children are unaware and understand about self-concept. According to them "yes indeed this is how
I am ...". Indeed there are also many opinions regarding the wrong self concept. Some say that the
concept of self is carried when we are born. Self-concept is descent. Thus, if a child is born from a
poor family, surely that child will also fail financially. Is that right? To straighten out the view, look
carefully at the explanation below, that self-concept:

• Obtained through a learning process not a hereditary factor

• Strengthened through life experiences that are experienced every day

• Can change drastically

• Affects all thought processes and behavior

• Affect the learning process and achievements

• Can be built and developed by replacing harmful belief systems, replacing negative self talk with
positive ones

• If this bad self concept is found in a teacher or parent, then this will arrive at students or children
either through conscious communication or subconscious communication.

It is clear that self-concept is formed through processes, not inherited or innate factors. Babies are
born without self-concept. Self-concept is formed in line with its growth and development through
interaction with parents and the surrounding environment. For this reason, it is very appropriate to
say that parents are the first and foremost educators. Because, parents are the ones who instill the
"initial patterns" of the child's self-concept. Now, if this is the case, isn't it a very important matter if
parents first "literate" the science of parenting before he jumps in and takes care of his children?

Words that are often heard by children are the words of parents. These words will affect the child's
mental system (self-concept). Therefore, as parents we must be more selective in commenting on
children. Try sincerely to see the positive side and not be too stingy in praise. Because, the words of
parents will also influence the formation of children's self-concept. That is also why Javanese people
often say that "to say that wong tuo iku is taking a bath" (the words of the old man are lucky). How
come? Yes, because parental words / comments have an influence on children's views about
themselves.

Children will easily believe if their parents comment on him. Well, imagine if we comment that our
child is stupid and naughty. Then, our children trust and believe that they are indeed stupid and
naughty. What will happen? Does the child perform at school? What enthusiasm to learn can be
fiery if every time you open a book, your subconscious brain says "never mind you have to fight
hard, you are basically a stupid child".

This self-concept is indeed like a computer program that only responds to commands that are
compatible with the program being planted. If it is not compatible, the computer will respond very
slowly or even to hang alias strike. In more concise language, behavior, speech, attitude, parental
views on children will function as the language of the child's mental program. Children will become
positive self-concept when indeed they, by their parents and the surrounding environment, are
programmed positively. Vice versa. The child will perform low when he is programmed to have a low
self concept.

Maybe you are curious. Where are parents who plant mental programs in their children's brains so
that they become failed children? Low-achieving children? Children who become community trash?
Indeed, instinctively, as long as parents are mentally healthy, it doesn't seem possible that happens.
Because, instinctively too, when children are born at that time also affection parents are also born.

I strongly agree with your opinion that parents are so fond of their children and want them to
succeed. However, many facts provide the opposite data. Not all children have a positive self-
concept. How come you can? Yes, that happens because the parents or family where the child lives
does not really care about the words, attitudes, behaviors that are secretly absorbed by the child.

During our childhood until we became adults like this; often still clearly imagine how the journey of
our lives, our growth, which is never separated from the influence of the environment around us,
especially the influence of the attitude of our own parents and people who are very closely related
to us. It is still fresh in our memories, how our parents are so sad to us, so that without them
realizing it, their overly loving attitude actually shackles our freedom to express ourselves.

The over-protective attitude of parents will in turn bind our true identity so that we cannot be
ourselves. Of course you still remember, your parents often forbid you to do activities or activities
that you enjoy. If your activities or activities are indeed dangerous, that is understandable.

But in reality, often parents forbid their children to do anything just as a "habit of prohibiting".
Parents often mistakenly perceive a form of "prohibition", not realizing the negative impact of the
later restrictions on the child.

Examples of such prohibitions, for example: when the child wants to take a bath on his own, is
prohibited on the grounds that later he cannot clean his body, when the child wants to buy a pencil
in the shop next to the house, he is not alone, worried that his money will fall and disappear. When
the child wants to turn on the radio itself the parents also do not allow it by reason of looking for the
frequency of the waves later can not be right, or worry about their child getting "strum". These
restrictions are basically actually "not to the ability of the child, in turn will make the child in
adulthood later become a person who also does not believe in himself". This "feeling of insecurity"
will continue to be attached to the child until he grows up.

In addition to the forms of prohibitions, many parents like to express "excessive submission" to the
conditions that exist in themselves to their children. You can see examples of this form of "excessive
submission" as follows: one time passing in front of his house a luxury car and of course the price
was very expensive, then the child said in amazement to his parents, "Pa-Ma, the car is very cool
let's have it? " His parents replied, "It is not our right, son, our car is enough, so this does not need to
be fancy, it is not our fortune, it is another person's fortune". When walking through a luxury
housing complex, the child again said "This house is luxurious and beautiful ... if we also have it", the
parents immediately replied, "We have been given fortune by God like this, yes, we must accept it
and thankful for. Don't be tempted by someone else's property. Someone's life has been arranged ".
That is more or less an example of attitude and parents who are "too resigned", "nrimo ing pandum"
with what they already have.

Unconsciously, this excessive resignation from parents will really seep into the child's mind and
become a pattern of thinking in the future when he is an adult. Grateful for the gift of God it must,
but too surrender to what is obtained is an attitude that is excessive, because this will develop the
inferior nature and attitude within us. An attitude that is inferior to oneself, does not believe in
oneself, and that will hinder a child's success in the future.

There are still more parental attitudes that are also less proportional, but this has also become a
common practice. That attitude is an attitude that tends to scare the child. An example, for example:
"be careful if it's dark, there are many spirits". "Don't be so, later it can be wrong". And there are
many more expressions of parents who basically do not believe in the child, because they are over
protective of their child. These attitudes make children prefer to be in a comfort zone, afraid to step
in and hesitant in acting.

The statements of parents who tend to scare even though will have a negative impact on the mental
development and emotions of the child until adulthood. In the end the child until his adult life was
always easy to be afraid to do something, maybe even could become a paranoid, a form of fear that
was excessive and unreasonable. In turn, the child becomes a person who is always "insecure", an
easy-to-sway personality, a person who is always "giddy" in determining attitudes, which is clearly
the biggest obstacle and obstacle in achieving his goals. in the future. How to approach the wrong
parent like that, really will seep into the subconscious mind of the child which ultimately plays a role
in shaping personal character and mental attitude.

Examples of the attitude of parents to their children, as I explained above, are very instrumental in
shaping mental attitudes, the soul of one's personality and that form can be very strong in a person
because it lasts for a long time, decades. So, indeed to change a person's attitude, character or
personality is not easy, it takes time and effort to realize change in a better direction. But what is
important here is that the character or personality or self-concept that has been installed can be
changed.
You don't need to worry, the self-concept that has been formed is all able to be changed. Even God
himself has hinted in His word, that He will not change the destiny of humans, if humans do not
want to change their own destiny.

This is an exciting thing for all of us, but how? In this book the methods offered are by
reprogramming the subconscious brain of children. How come the child's brain is programmed? Of
course, I don't expect you to imagine your child's head being split with a scalpel. Then the brain is
tweaked with complicated multicolored cables. What I mean by reprogramming the subconscious
brain is:

Make statements, stimuli or provide more positive emotional situations for children, so that the
negative beliefs embedded in the child's mental belief system about him or her can gradually shift
towards a positive direction.

However, rearranging self-concept requires patience and patience. Because you will be faced with a
negative assessment of the child towards him which has become a "trust". Children who already
believe that they are stupid or soft, will certainly refuse if he is in a condition that requires proof of
intelligence and kindness. His subconscious mind prefers and is easy to prove ignorance than
intelligence. This fight is what drains the energy of parents. Although sometimes negative self-
confidence also comes from parents.

There are several ways to do reprogramming.

1. Looking for the advantages of children to be given reinforcement in the form of praise. I am sure
every child has advantages. However, in this case the parents must be realistic, open up making it
up. If it is directed at conditions that are not present in the child, the child will feel that it is a satire
or mockery. If the child feels that way, what happens instead of reprogramming, but strengthening
the existing negative program. Especially in this regard, I suggest that praise be more behavioral or
potential, not merely because of the physical appearance of the child. Because, what will be
reprogrammed is a mental attitude, not a child's physical.

2. condition the child to find moments of success, whatever the form of activity. For example, in a
soccer match he really likes, your child is able to make a goal that is the pride of his team. This
successful moment you should use to provide reinforcement that the child can perform. This time,
his achievement is to make goals at soccer matches. If you say that he is a child who is capable of
achievement, he will gradually prove what you say is a necessity. If at other times, children get
prestige in other fields, as soon as possible provide reinforcement, so that gradually the child
believes that he is indeed an achievement child. This is what I call spontaneous positive reward.

3. Try to get the child to record his feelings when he achieves and can call those feelings back when
needed. For that, a tool is needed, namely the symbols of success that he has ever achieved. For
example, gifts, certificates, certificates, medals when he achieves. Navigate so that the child does
not keep these "beautiful memories" in an invisible cupboard. Instead, suggest that he dare to
"display" (without intending to show off excessively) in the corner of the room or in his room which
at any time can be seen by the child. The goal is to constantly call the feeling of success by the child.
If one day the child is "downcast" emotionally, another parent or family can remind him, that he is
actually an accomplished child, with the help of those symbols. Even if necessary, ask the child to
write a success story.

If the success story has been written, it should be written by the child himself, stick to the success
story in a place that is easily seen by the child. In a child's room, for example. This will give the child
the suggestion to continue to enjoy the feeling of success, so that it is stimulated to create a second
success story. If the success story is not too related to academic achievement, be patient ... it is a
series of moments of self-confidence improvement.

4. Give positive reinforcement (affirmation), which is a statement of reinforcement about the

moment of success of the child. For example, by saying "you are a persistent child" or other
reinforcement that leads to positive things. Through this reinforcement, slowly the negative beliefs
of children will fade. Then, new, more positive beliefs will grow. Of course this affirmation is not
enough to be done once. It should be tried many times with different sentence forms or even
enough with thumbs up, shoulder claps, and so on. However, what needs to be remembered and
avoided is that there is a positive affirmation that seems monotonous. Remember, your intonas
really determine the meaning.

There are a number of steps that need to be done by the old man in order to make the soul of the
child stronger. In general these steps are:

1. Do not spoil the child

Pampering the child is like giving poison wrapped in sugar. Without realizing that parents intend to
protect, love, do not want to be burdened, it results in the destruction of children slowly but surely.
This will be reflected in the personality of children who are weak in facing life's difficulties. What is
the brief description of the spoiled behavior? Pampering means fulfilling everything the child asks
for, not giving something the child needs. Gradually, this action makes children unable to distinguish
between something they want and what they need.

2. Not favoritism

Loving love means disregarding the child disproportionately. The concern of "favoritism" parents will
usually become flowering if the child has something that is proud or pleases the parents. However,
for children who are "ordinary" parents' attention will also be mediocre. Therefore, the main
principle that must be held in this condition is that all children must be loved regardless of their
condition.

3. Want to accept differences of opinion with children

As parents we must be able to accept differences with children. Why? Because children can't always
be wrong and parents can't always be right. Do not let children who have different opinions be
considered as children who are insolent or against parents. There are a number of benefits if we
want to consider differences of opinion with children, namely:

• Stimulating a dialogical atmosphere between parents and children for rational reasons

• Closer relationship between children and parents

• Train children or parents for big spirits if their opinions prove to be incorrect

4. Don't compare children with others

Comparing children with others is like a sharp knife capable of cutting down the deepest heart. The
negative reasons that encourage this occur, usually so that children are embarrassed to see other
people who succeed. While the positive reason that is usually expressed by parents is that the child
is motivated to motivate, imitate or even exceed the achievements of others. Actually the act of
comparing is more negative than the positive side that the bus takes. Because, comparing children
with other parties children will feel themselves as losers, feel wrong or there are irregularities, while
others who are used as comparison are perfect people. (Remember our game in guessing the box in
front)

5. Be careful in speaking with children

Sometimes the words are like fresh water thirst quenchers, but sometimes words are also like
swords that can tear hearts. For that reason, as parents, it is proper if the words we convey to
children are positive words, not negative words that are able to poison or make a child's mental
disability. Therefore, parents need attention in terms of:

• Get used to giving understanding to children, not with anger or nagging all day.

• Avoid cursing, cursing, swearing, let alone threatening.

• Avoid cynical, tense, fierce words.

6. Giving punishment that educates if the child makes a fatal mistake

Indeed, there are often mistakes in the concept of loving children. Parents often feel unable to
punish children. This causes children to feel that whatever they do is always right. As a result,
children will develop into individuals who are not realistic and do not have sufficient endurance in
dealing with problems. That is, the child must get a POSITIVE sentence when he does a fatal act.

7. Provide sufficient understanding of stress in children

Life is not always smooth, sometimes bumpy, sometimes very steep. For this reason, as parents, we
need to provide provisions for children about the "positive paradigm" of life. Sad and happy is a
reality that will come one after another. No need to be too happy to forget yourself, you don't need
to get too bloodied when faced with problems. Teach children to always be grateful when they meet
success and be patient when they find failure. Because, thankful it is rewarding, be patient and
reward. By giving this understanding as a matter of fact we have instilled spiritual intelligence in our
children.

After the child's mental strength, then the next step is to provide support or motivate so that the
potential is growing. But surprisingly, many parents intend to inflame their children's motivation to
excel, but the methods taken often hurt children's emotional. Examples are as follows:
You should study hard like your sister (compare). Brother's time why his achievements lost with his
sister (mocking). Really, if your performance can't be as good as your sister's, you won't be bought ...
(threatening).

Indeed, there are children who might be motivated when compared to being ridiculed and
threatened. But what you have to remember, the encouragement of achievement that is motivated
by negative motivation, will actually trigger other emotional problems.

If you want your children to be motivated to learn, things parents and teachers should not forget are
the maintenance of children's emotions. One of the maintenance of emotions is focused on
providing a supportive atmosphere in the family. Children who are continuously given support have
far greater opportunities to succeed in school and life. Children in particular need support and
comfort when:

1. they have a problem

You can't trivialize child problems, even though the problem seems childish. Children need to be
supported so that they are able to solve their problems, not run away from problems. Because,
actually the problem also will strengthen their mental muscles in learning problem solving. Children
need to be encouraged to learn risk taking in the right size. However, you can still act as a
companion without having to slip on the attitude of taking over child problems.

2. Transition period

For children even for adults experiencing a period of transition or change will certainly drain energy
in an effort to "adjust". The transition from pre-school to elementary school, which in the transition
period children will meet new environments, new friends, new teachers as well. All of that is enough
to cause child discomfort. So, it's natural to find common elementary school students who cry. Stress
is usually indicated by symptoms of dizziness, nausea, abdominal pain and so on the first day of
school.

For that, you need to provide emotional support so that your child can go through and deal with the
transition period well. Some who NEED to be observed as a transition period are moving houses,
changing schools, moving parenting, Puberty, and so on.

3. They have tried hard, but have not succeeded.

Sometimes the hard work of your children does not necessarily result in success. Of course this will
bring them frustration. As a result of his follow-up, he can be broken into trying. For this reason, as a
parent, you should focus not on the results of your child's achievements, but on how hard their
efforts are. Appreciate every hard effort to be happy to try hard even though you experience a tough
challenge.

If you value achievement more, children will focus more on results, however honest or fraudulent. If
the child is accustomed to relying on shortcuts (cheating), later when he grows up he can grow up to
be someone who often harms society.

4. They develop slowly.

Slow developing does not mean the child cannot develop. Children have certain uniqueness in their
development. Well, this uniqueness sometimes becomes an obstacle in their development. For
example, a child who has a kinesthetic learning style (with movement / trying), will usually
experience difficulties if the learning class is followed continuously using visual (viewing) or auditory
(sound / lecturing / listening) styles. Well, differences in children's learning styles with teacher
teaching styles often make children slow to develop. However, that does not mean our children are
stupid, right? They only have difficulty adjusting to their learning style. For this reason, in cases like
this, teachers are required to design learning that accommodates differences in learning styles. Class
activities must take into account the diversity of learning styles so that children's absorption
becomes faster.

Up here I hope you have a positive understanding of the importance of mastering the science of
parenting, being wise by always controlling our speech only on things that are good for our children,
preparing their self-concept positively by providing support needed by children without weakening
their potential.

ARE YOU READY ………

It's time to practice being a great parent again. Okay, this time take a blank sheet of paper and
stationery. Well I ask you to describe a complete head, good not need to feel unable to draw,
remember we are learning to give positive energy to our children to do their best. Well, it's good if
it's finished, the head is complete, like the body, legs or other so that it looks complete. Good for a
pretty good picture, now try to give a horn on the head that has been drawn. Well ... good now add
a tail too. Well your picture is finished, what are you drawing? Why ... how come self portraits, I'm
sorry, I don't mean that. However, sometimes children consider their parents as monsters.

Well actually I want you to draw something like the one in this book attachment. (please dubuka
first). Well ... that picture is what I want. You are not wrong, the order is also not wrong. Remember
this is only a game, but there is a hidden message that I want to open every time you do ARE YOU
READY. This perception often triggers problems between parents and children. Between parents and
children insisted on their own perceptions so they never met. In order to avoid problems the first
step must have a common perception.

And in the hypnoparenting approach the main requirements for the success of suggestions start
from pacing (ego equality), only leading (giving direction), both using maching and mirroring. But
beforehand, let's understand the meaning of hypnosis first correctly. RELIGIOUS GREETINGS ……