PAIN BECOMES EASE

I hate this liquid coming out from my eyes. Every drop of it has a different stories which
weren’t told and it builds up like a mountain each and every day passes by. I always hide my true
feelings from people. Although they see me as a normal happy person and sometimes they
praised me saying good things. I always, or even laugh with my classmates and friends every time
they crack a joke, but the don’t really know that behind those smiles there’s a pain inside me that
I’ve been encountering. It’s really hard to hide it on your own. And It is my choice not to tell
anyone because I am afraid that they might know my weakness, I am afraid that they won’t
understand me and might pity or worst they might mock me.

I know that we have different kinds of pain that we encounter in our everyday life. We
encounter different kind of sacrifices and struggles and I know it’s not that easy to handle
especially when you are far away from your love ones especially your parents.

I can even remembered that I almost took my own life way back 2016 in my aunt house
where I was staying there for a couple of days waiting to take CET in because I was about to
transfer from MSU-TCTO Sanga-Sanga Bongao, Tawi-Tawi. I was having a hard time studying
there because some of my friends were trying to tear me down. I found out that they were just
trying to use me financially. We could really say that I met a wrong friends. After that, more pains
were coming including heartbreaks and etc.. My studies were affected because of these. I could
say that I was really lost that time and I decided to transfer to other school hoping to move on in
every pain I’ve been through. But I was wrong, the situation got worst when my elder sister found
out about what happened. After that, I almost took my own life for I can’t handle the pain
anymore. The pain that weakens my imaan(Faith in God) everyday, but alhamdulillah on that very
moment if flashes back every good memories of the my love ones especially my beloved mother.
And on that very moment, I slowly put down the knife on my hand and one of my siblings took it
away from me. After the incident, they send me back home first in our province together with
my brother. But after we arrived home, I thought my parents would be mad at me, shout at me,
yell etc. or they might say a painful words to me, but It was the opposite one. On that moment, I
realized that it is more painful seeing your parents especially your mom crying. She was crying
because she loves and I could see that she was really worried about me. That was the time that I
asked for their forgiveness. After spending a year with them, my parents decided to send me
back to school (WMSU) and Alhamdulillah I’m so thankful until now. Every footsteps that I take
and every decisions that I make, they are always there behind me, guides me and supports me
everytime I needed them the most.

Alhamdulillah! I’ve learned that life is useless without having the idea of struggles,
sacrifices and pain. We cannot just easily conquer things in our life without even knowing the
hardships behind it. The more my life gets harder the more I become stronger and optimistic. I
am woman who’s aim is to prove to those people who leave me, drag me down in times of
hardships and pain, people who have mocked me when I was in a situation where I couldn’t even
understand myself and also the people who took advantage of it. I am not saying all of these to
get revenge, what I want, is to give them the full concepts of life where patience is the shield of
everything.

And Alhamdulillah, All thanks to the almighty God, I’ve finally realized that happens for a
reason. Ma’assalam.