Communication Styles

Passive
Individuals who use this communication style avoid expressing their true opinions or
feelings to avoid confrontation. This results in misunderstandings, built up anger, and
resentment. When these individuals have reached their tolerance for unacceptable behaviour,
they may be prone to explosive outbursts.
Passive communication often leads individuals to feel anxious, depressed, resentful and
confused because their needs are not being met and their own feelings are being ignored. Issues
are never truly addressed and resolved if these individuals fail to express their feelings, needs, or
opinions.
Passive communicators often exhibit a lack of eye contact and slumped body posture.
Examples of phrases from passive communicators include:
- “It doesn’t matter that much”
- “I just want to keep the peace”
- “People never consider my feelings”
- “I don’t really have an opinion”

Aggressive
Aggressive communicators express their feelings and opinions without hesitation and in a
way that may violate the rights of others. These individuals can be verbally or physically
abusive. This style of communication is ineffective because ideas are not equally shared or
listened to. The aggressive individual seeks to use intimidation to get what they want.
When speaking, aggressive communicators make intense eye contact, point fingers, stand
their ground, and have a loud demanding tone. They will often criticize, blame, attack others,
threaten, and use “you” statements.
Some statements from these individuals include:
- “It’s all your fault”
- “You owe me”
- “Everyone should think like me”
- “I own you”
Passive-Aggressive
Passive-aggressive communicators appear to be passive on the surface but are acting out
built up resentment and anger in more subtle, secretive ways. These communicators refuse to
confront others directly but would rather do it discretely.
This communication style is ineffective because the individual beats around the bush
instead of addressing the issue directly. They may use the silent treatment, mutter to themselves
instead of confronting the individual, use sarcasm, deny that there is a problem, use facial
expressions that do not match their feelings, and use subtle sabotage.
Some statements that these individuals may use include:
- “We can do this your way, but I don’t think it’s going to work”
- “That’s fine with me, but don’t be surprised if someone else gets mad”
- “I’m not mad”
- “Whatever”
- “I was just joking”

Assertive
This communication style is thought to be the most effective because it emphasizes two-
way communication. These individuals are able to express their opinions and thoughts in a way
that is considerate of others. They respect and listen to other people’s values, thoughts, and ideas.
Assertive communicators state their needs clearly and respectfully while using “I”
statements. They have good eye contact, relaxed posture, and speak in a calm clear voice.
Some statements that these individuals might use are:
- “What are all of our opinions on this?
- “Even though I don’t agree, I respect your opinion”
- “I would like to hear your views on…”
- “Could you tell me more about how you see the situation?”