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What is she after marriage?

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VOLUME-III, ISSUE-V ISSN (Online): 2350-0476
ISSN (Print): 2394-207X
IMPACT FACTOR: 4.205
INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF MULTIFACETED AND MULTILINGUAL STUDIES

What is She after Marriage?

1
G.Prasanthi
Assistant Professor
K.L .University, Vaddeswaram
A.P, India.
2
Dr.P. Anantha Lakshmi
Assistant Professor,
R.V.R& JC Engineering College,
Guntur, A.P, India.
Abstarct:
Birth, marriage and death are the three important events in any one’s life. Birth and death cannot be controlled by
any human. So marriage is the biggest event in one’s life. In fact marriage is the most important event to any
woman, precisely to an Indian woman. An Indian woman’s life can be divided into two phases-before marriage and
after marriage. Every maiden dreams a beautiful life after marriage. Is that really a woman’s life after marriage is
beautiful? This paper throws light on the life of women after marriage through the wife characters in Sudha
Murthy’s novel Houses of Cards. May be the wife characters are fictitious and are circumscribed only to
Karnataka. But the characters happiness, agony, psyche holds good in real world wives across India.
Key words: Woman, Marriage, Wife, life after marriage
In the very old story, Snow white, the Is that every women’s life happy after
protagonist Cinderella’s mother dies at very marriage? Is she really the princess of some
tender age. Later her father marries again. one’s heart and family? What is she really
Cinderella's step mother and step –sister after the marriage?
makes her to face all bitter in the world. After Let’s have our journey in to the literature
many dramatic events, one day a prince where women’s life after marriage is
comes on a white horse, marries her and described. If we observe life of Sita in
makes her his princess. From then ‘Adikavyam’ Ramayanam, after winning the
Cinderella's life is filled with all the war with Ravana, Rama asks Sita to enter the
happiness in the world. fire to prove her chastity. Somebody says that
Every maiden dreams that One day a prince Rama asks Sita to enter the fire, not that he
comes on a unicorn, marries her and fills her has doubt on Sita’s chastity but to prove it to
life with all colours in the world and she will the world and to his subjects because as a
be the princess to his heart and family. With king it is his duty. That means Rama is a king
this single hope, she holds the little finger of first but not a husband. Nobody points out or
her husband and goes with him leaving questions Rama’s love for his wife. The
behind her parents, her siblings, her friends, question is, ' is Sita, who gave the highest
her surname what not everything. I don’t priority to her husband than her princely
know why, every story ends with a happy comforts went along with him to forest, the
marriage and with the line “There after they first priority to Rama?' The answer is a big
lived happy for ever….” ‘no’; his wife is not his first priority but his

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VOLUME-III, ISSUE-V ISSN (Online): 2350-0476
INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF MULTIFACETED AND MULTILINGUAL STUDIES
duty. Society appreciates Lord Rama for
giving prior importance to duty. But who will
understand Sita’s agony? At least she didn’t
get a little word of solace from Rama saying
that “I have no doubt on you but as a king I
am answerable to my subjects so please co-
operate with me.” Every husband takes their
wife as granted nobody tries to respect
women's sensitive feelings.
Lord Harish Chandra, an epitome of truth
abandons his wife Chandramathi and son to
fulfill his vow of truth to sage Viswamitra.
The world praises that he is an embodiment
of Satyam but he failed to keep up his
promise i.e. ‘I will be with you and protect
you till the end of my life’ made to wife. But
the society didn’t points ‘HarishChandra’ and
feels that as a wife to the king it is
Chandramathi’s duty to sacrifice. No one
recognizes her sacrifice or agony. Thus she is
not a princess to the king or kingdom first but
only a wife to a king.
When Buddha was enlightened, he left his
kingdom, palace, wife and taught peace to the
world. Did his wife Yashodhara was in peace
when Buddha left her? The entire world is on
Buddha’s side saying that ‘Raja Dharma’ is
greater than ‘Manava Dharma.’, but who
shattered all her dreams of a beautiful
marriage? Who will understand her agony
and suffering as a single parent? Ironically,
even a real princess can’t be a princess after
she became wife to someone. It’s true for
most men in the world, they are sons to a
mother or a brother to sister or an employee
or an employer first but not a husband. In
most of the families or in many men’s life
wife is not the princess of his heart. Her
position is always somebody or something. A
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ISSN (Print): 2394-207X
IMPACT FACTOR: 4.205
wife is always a second class citizen to
husband. Bitter, but it’s true. But vice-versa
is not true. i.e, for a women after her
marriage more than her parents, her in laws,
her profession and her husband is important.
‘He’ is her first priority and expects the same
thing which is mere a mirage.
Sudha Murthy in her novel House of Cards
through Mridula aptly says ‘Every girl
dreams of a wonderful marriage but for most,
that dream never becomes real. Life after
marriage is a battle. Only a few are truly
lucky” (207 )
Why women are not happy with the
marriage? Let’s examine through the wife
characters, Mridula, Anitha , Rosemary and
Kanthamma, in House of Cards. Anita’s is a
love marriage. In fact Alex in order to marry
Anitha, whose family is at an upper rung
financially, struggled hard to marry her. After
his M.B.B.S he went Middle East only to
earn money so that Anita’s father will
consider him a perfect match for his
daughter. In fact Alex was mad of Anitha
before marriage.
“….He would go to Uncle Freddy’s house
without reason and sit there for hours. He had
been worried that some young man would
move faster than him and make a way with
Anitha.”(10)
Anitha waited for Alex though she got better
matches and married him. By God’s grace
they earned more money after marriage.
Money didn’t change Anitha and her love
towards Alex but it changed Alex. He forgot
sincere love of Anitha and had illicit
relationships which led Anitha to lose her
interest on life. In the words of Anitha
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VOLUME-III, ISSUE-V ISSN (Online): 2350-0476
INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF MULTIFACETED AND MULTILINGUAL STUDIES
“.When men get more money than they need,
their wife starts looking ugly to them, They
think that they could have done better, They
forget that they were nothing when their wife
married them and that she has stayed loyal to
them through their ups and downs” (148 ).
Rosemary, P.A to Dr.Sanjay, like any other
girl dreamt a happy loving family but it just
remained a dream because when Rosemary
started earning more her husband picked up
bad habits—buying lottery tickets and
drinking which devastated her peace.
Another wife character, in the novel,
Kantamma, wife of a principal in a
conversation expresses her dissatisfaction on
her marriage as “He was a principal for a
long time and was strict at home too. My
children never care, but I had to obey him
…” (pg no, 188)
Anitha was not happy because her husband
had illicit relationships, Rosemary was not
happy because her husband had picked up
bad habits, Kantamma was not happy
because her husband dominates her. None of
the three husbands’ first priority was not their
wife or her feelings. A woman dreams of a
loving husband and a beautiful life after
marriage. No maiden will have a clue that
she or her feelings will not be the first
priority or not at all considered by her
husband after marriage. That’s why for many
women life after marriage is a battle.
Even society can understand the plight of
women like Anitha, Rosemary, and
Kantamma and show sympathy on them.
Mridula’s case was different. Mirdula’s
husband neither maintained illicit
relationships nor had bad habit. In the words
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of Sanjay “She has a good house, servants,
plenty of money, a great son and a famous
husband.” But still Mridula was not happy.
Neither the society nor her husband
understands why she was not happy. In fact
she suffered from depression when she knew
that Sanjay brought a house, a car to her
sister and sent ten lakh rupees without her
knowledge she was totally depressed. It was
not the money spent by Sanjay on her
mother and sister upset Mridula but the
thought that he deceived her...”Money can
be earned and lost. It’s about faith that a wife
has in her husband. That’s more valuable
than money and gold .Faith sustains a
marriage and brings joy to the family.”
Dr.Rao, a psychiatrist rightly points out the
reason for suffering of Mridula. “……….in a
male- dominated society like ours; all the
important decisions are made by man,
including choices about her wants. Every
woman values her freedom to choose much
more than her husband’s money or position.”
(no 212. )
Yes, in this male-dominated world if a wife
craves for freedom, demands for self-esteem,
partnership neither the society nor her
husband understands her. So women like
Mridula has no option left but to suffer
silently.
What a women as a wife really expects?
When can she be happy? When she feels like
a princess in her home? May be the answer is
in one of the slokas of marriage rituals. At
the time of marriage a bride groom promises
that “Dharmecha, Arthecha, Kamecha nathi
charami.” Which means a husband promises
that he will not go beyond her wife’s will in
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 VOLUME-III, ISSUE-V ISSN (Online): 2350-0476
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the path of dharma , in financial and sexual
matters.
In other words a husband during marriage
itself says that he will give due importance to
her wife while taking decisions, in monitory
terms and he will not maintain illicit
relationship.
If every husband abides to this why any wife
complains about her married life.
In Yaksha prashana there is a question “Who
the best friend is to a man and a woman?”
The answer is “A wife to her husband and a
husband to his wife.” Yes, it's absolutely true,
a wife and husband should be best friends.
Then only the relationship flourishes. With a
friend we share everything---we share our
happiness, we share our sorrows. Sometimes
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IMPACT FACTOR: 4.205
we share things which we can't share even
with our parents or siblings. A Friend is the
only person in the entire world before whom
we don't act. We love to spend time with a
friend because we will be like ourselves, no
formalities, no egos, no domination. If a
husband and wife are true friends then where
is the question of dominating or suppressing?
Where is the question of egos or
misunderstandings? Only a happy and a
healthy relationship.
Finally “When a girl gets married, the extent
of her happiness depends up on the husband’s
commitment and communication with her. A
few kind words, a little appreciation and
small gifts like flowers can make a girl feel
special.” (Page no.214.)

References:
1) Sudha Murthy- House of Cards,PenguinBooks,India,2013.
2) http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/kaveree-bamzai-reviews-house-of-cards-by-sudha-
murty/1/312033.html
3) http://www.compareraja.in/blog/house-of-cards-by-sudha-murty-a-book-to-reflect-and-realize/

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