The level of negativity in your post is seriously impressive.

It is filled with
and based on untruths. I used to be very negative (internally) as well, but I
have gotten much better thanks to counseling among other things. I can try to
help challenge everything you just said this time, but you will have to start
working on it yourself, with or without counseling, in the future.

My gpa is a 3.3 overall, 3.5 accounting, so I don't think that really helps me.
Do I have any chance at getting a job?

 You have good GPAs, and you don't think they help you?
 They fall within the requirements of the Big 4, and certainly well
within the requirements of smaller firms, industry jobs, etc., and you're
asking us if you have any chance at getting a job at all?

I keep hearing you have to be a good people person but i'm really bad at
making small talk and I think that pretty much kills my chances of finding
something.

 Being a "good people person" is more about being friendly than it is

anything else.
 You don't always have to know the perfect, funny thing to say. People
who are better at this just have more practice with social interactions
and this in turn makes them more comfortable in social situations.
 You don't have to have a million friends and be the life of the party.
 In my experience, people who think they're "really bad" at small talk,
aren't really bad at all and they psych themselves out and get super
afraid of the slightest awkward social interaction. It is not the end of the
world and everyone, including the most charismatic person in the
world, has awkward moments.
 Even if you are "really bad" at small talk, it isn't going to pretty much
kill your chances of finding any kind of career in accounting ever.
 If you think Big 4 is a bunch of charismatic, super social, "good people
persons", you are wrong. Being friendly and diligent with your work
will get you super far in most aspects of life.

I feel like I wasted the last 4 years of my life.

  You need to work on being and sounding less dramatic, not only for
more successful social interactions, but for your own mental health. I'm
not saying you can never say anything negative, but it is time to stop
being dramatic to this degree.
 You didn't do anything in the last 4 years of your life that you enjoyed?
 Your interpretation of a successful existence the past 4 years is based
upon your getting a 4.0 GPA and a Big 4 job right out of college?

Part of the reason I picked accounting is because I thought I could at least

count on a job

 Nobody is going to just hand you a job because you chose accounting.
 Get active in whatever accounting society there is at your school. Go to
firm tours, speaker meetings, meet the firms--whatever you got.

but it seems like you have to either have a 4.0 for the Big 4 or the best you
can do is something that's going to be barely over minimum wage.

 When I was hired to Big 4 I had lower GPAs than you do, and I felt like
I had to work really hard for them.
 I didn't do any summer leadership programs.
 I didn't do any internships--I just went straight for full-time.
 I joined the accounting society and I went to firm tours, speaker
meetings, and networking events despite being very anxious and very
nervous. It got easier but never easy for me. Get involved in the
accounting club(s) and read the recruiting guide. The recruiting guide
isn't the be-all-end-all, but there are many good tips.
 And, if you don't have a 4.0 GPA and get a Big 4 job right out of
college, you will be...getting something that is barely over minimum
wage?
 Big 4 isn't the only option. There are tons of great, smaller firms and
industry jobs out there. They hire when they need people. They don't
have strict hiring dates like the Big 4 have. And they pay way more
than minimum wage.

Step back from the ledge and don't make the Big 4 pussy into this great, big,
Greek goddess name Pussaliah.