ETHICS IN THE

PARENT/CHILD
RELATIONSHIP

Revival Fires Baptist College | By Caleb W. Szklarz

 Christian Ethics is essential for Christian parents to teach their children. One of the greatest

problems we have in America is Christians who are not ethical and therefore are pushing the lost

world away from Christ to an eternal hell. In selecting the topic for this essay, something my

brother Luke often reminds me of came to mind. He said that it is not in the short sprints we have

with others when we go to church, when we are speaking to someone at church or going soul-

winning etc. that our true character and our personal convictions are brought forth. Instead, it is in

the marathon of life, often in the home, where the façade is peeled away and we are shown whether

we truly ever had any character in our lives. Only then will we see whether we have bought the

truth for ourselves (Proverbs 23:23), and whether we have these as our own personal ethics or

whether we have just borrowed them from those we are around.

Seeing that the home is such a crucial training ground for the rest of life, I think the Lord has

led me to speak on the ethics of the parent and child relationship. Our future leaders are being

raised up by parents today. It is up to those children to learn to have the right ethics with their

parents and the parents to ethically bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the

Lord (Ephesians 6:4). If Christian parents do not do their job properly and their children do not

choose to walk in the Lord’s paths, we will continue to lose the battle in our world.

In the scriptures we repeatedly see the pattern of speaking to the one under authority first,

then the to one over them. This is absolutely necessary to have proper authority. Without having

leadership which chooses to follow God’s principles, everything else will fall. But, that leader

must have followers. As Dr. Corle reminded us in this course, “At the point God supplies a good

leader, then everything rises or crumbles on followship.” Though this will not be a comprehensive

study of the ethics of children toward the parents or that of parents toward their children, I will

seek to briefly cover most of the key responsibilities each have to be ethical with the other.

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 1. Ethics of the Children

The two main commands that have been given to children in the Bible are first to obey our

parents and secondly to honor them. As young people develop, God knew that they would not be

able to have all of the commands that adults have, therefore, he gave them fewer commands,

commands that would help develop in them the character that they would need later in life. If

children do not choose to heed the commands and principles that God has given them early in life,

they will live a life of misery as they have not learned to obey and honor any authority.

The first command is for children to obey their parents. Institute for Basic Life Principles

defines obedience as “Freedom to be creative under the protection of divinely appointed

authority.” Obedience is the outward manifestation of the position that is found in their heart.

Children are called to obey their parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1); therefore obeying their

parents is obedience to the Lord. Remember, to delay is to disobey. How they must choose to have

instant obedience to the initial promptings, for this is well pleasing in the Lord (Colossians 3:20).

Children are often instructed in Proverbs to hear the instruction of their father (Proverbs 1:8;

4:1). As Dr. Corle has reminded us, hearing in the Bible often is referring to hearing with the intent

to respond. Therefore, ethical children must hear what their parents say and look for things to

follow in what they say. If children are wise, they will listen to their father’s instruction when he

speaks. If they do not listen to rebuke, they are showing that they are not ethical and that they are

scorners (Proverbs 13:1).

The child’s wisdom is shown when the child chooses to keep the law (Proverbs 28:7). Nothing

brings more shame to a child’s parents then when they choose to disobey them and go their own

way. When a child chooses to keep their father’s commandment and forsake not the law of their

mother (Proverbs 6:20-23), it will help to keep them when they go along their life. When the child

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goes, it will provide leadership for them. It will be a lamp unto their feet and show them how to

stay in the way of life.

God puts obedience on a higher plane than sacrificing. In 1 Samuel 15, Saul was rebuked for

not completely and fully obeying the Lord’s commands. Saul was rejected from being King

because he failed to obey this principle of ensuring that you have obedience in the forefront of

anything you do. If children do not hearken to what the parents tell them to do, they are showing

that they are rebelling against them. The Bible compares rebellion to witchcraft. The child is

hopefully not involved with witchcraft (or we have a much greater problem), but the scriptures are

showing that when anyone has rebellion in their lives, they are opening their lives to the attacks of

Satan. That person is actually opening themselves up and giving place in their spirit for Satan to

build a stronghold to torment them.

When a child does not obey and therefore is rebelling, they are showing they are not honoring.

Therefore, the next topic I would like to cover is the command for children to honor their parents.

Honor is defined in the Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary as “to respect or to treat with deference

and submission.” In contrast to obedience, honor must come from the heart. As the father who told

his son to sit down and the son replied, “I’m sitting down, but I am still standing up on the inside,”

an outward conformity can be shown towards the child’s parents with the inside rebelling.

Dishonor toward one’s parents is the surest way to bring God’s judgment upon a child. The

command for children to honor one’s parents is not only the first of the 10 commandments to have

a promise attached to it, but it is also the only commandment to have a promise (Deuteronomy

5:16; Exodus 20:12). If a child wants to have a long satisfying life, the child must first choose to

honor his parents from his heart.

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 When Jesus selected specific commands to give to the rich young ruler, one of the commands

he chose was the command to honor thy father and thy mother. God thought that a child honoring

his parents was so important that when the commands of the Old Testament were boiled down to

6 commands, it was in the list (Matthew 19:19). Oh that a child may see the significance of

choosing to honor their parents from the heart.

The Old Testament law had strict penalties for those who cursed their parents (Leviticus 20:9;

Proverbs 30:17). Often a child will not choose to curse them outright, but will when their attitudes

fail to honor them, when they fail to treat them with deference and submission. Sadly, our world

today has grown into a generation that curseth their father and doth not bless their mother (Proverbs

30:11). How can a child expect to have a Proverbs 31 mother if they fail to bless their mother,

which is one of the qualifications (Proverbs 31:28)?

When a child fails to honor their parents, it will not be long before that dishonor will lead to

them becoming a fool. When a child chooses to be a wise son, it will bring joy and gladness to his

parents (Proverbs 15:20). The child who chooses to despise his mother is showing that that he is a

fool. The words that proceed from his lips will lead to his destruction (Proverbs 18:7). It will bring

great heaviness to his mother (Proverbs 10:1). How many sorrowing mothers have spent many

sleepless nights because of the foolishness of their children! The child is left with a choice, will he

choose to make his parents glad or be a heaviness to them. Will he be a grief to his parents or will

he be a blessing to them? Will he be a joy to his parents or will he rob them of that joy (Proverbs

17:21; 25)? If a child chooses to take his parents’ reproof, he will become wise (Proverbs 15:5).

He will prove to be a blessing and a glory to his parents currently and long down the road when

they look at his grown life (Proverbs 17:6)

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 When one is gone from his childhood home, he must realize that this honor does not end there

(Proverbs 23:22-25). So many rebellious and foolish young people reject the teaching that their

parents have taught them as the old way and instead choose to go their own way. Sadly, many of

these children seem to be obedient when they are children, but have not made personal convictions

that will live with them the rest of their lives. Children must not ride on their parent’s convictions.

Instead they should, in the words of Solomon, “Buy the truth” and make it a part of their lives.

How easy it is to serve the Lord because of their parent’s convictions, because of what they have

seen and heard the Lord has done in their parent’s lives and not to maintain their own personal

walk with the Lord. What a terrible result will come if a child only borrows the truth and does not

make it a part of their lives. The Apostle John said that he rejoiced greatly when he saw children

walking in truth (1 John 4). This honor a son or daughter has for their parents should extend to the

end of their lives. An example of this is Dr. Corle. He often speaks of the blessings that were

imparted to him from his obviously problem-filled upbringing. I have never heard him say one

disrespectful thing about his father or his mother. How much all children and grownups could learn

from his example.

This honor that children have for their parents also extends to other older people. In 2 Kings

chapter 2 we have the sad account of how disrespect cost 42 children their lives. God wants the

younger to honor those who are older than them. Truly the beauty of old men is their gray head

(Proverbs 20:29).

Many children are destroyed because they do not trust and honor their parents. Therefore,

children are instructed to give their parents their hearts (Proverbs 23:26). This is so important to

protect them from so many things. Children may think that they know more than their parents,

however children can learn so much if they are willing to draw out the wisdom of their parents. In

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the reading assignment for the Christian Ethics class, I was amazed as I read through Proverbs to

see the numerous times where the scriptures outline things that hearkening to their parents will

protect the child from and the dire consequences of choosing to go their own way disregarding the

counsel of their parents.

For instance, it will protect them from the wicked woman (Proverbs 5:1-3; Proverbs 6:21-35;

Proverbs 23:26-28). The strange woman’s ways are moveable, and therefore children can often be

beguiled by her slippery mouth. When a child heeds his parents and remains under the umbrella

of their protection, they will help him avoid this wicked woman’s path.

Scripture elsewhere gives many illustrations of this principle. For example, in Judges 14,

Samson went down to Timnath, away from the protection of his home. He went down to someone

who was not part of God’s people and chose a woman against the counsel of his parents. We see

the utter disaster that resulted because of him going out into the rain without his parent’s umbrella.

Another example is Dinah in Genesis 34, when she left the protection of her home, she soon found

herself in the wrong place. Notice she went for a seemingly innocent reason, “to see the daughters

of the land,” but in the end an entire city was destroyed as well as Dinah herself being defiled

forever. How children must remain under the protection of their parents and not leave themselves

vulnerable to Satan’s attacks by going out on their own.

Another command given to children is to love in deed (1 John 3:18). Notice that it says, “love

in deed”, not love in word. How easy it is for children to love in their words, but not truly in their

actions. I have found that it is one thing to preach a message or write a paper like this one, but the

rubber meets the road when we actually go out and live the truths we have spoken.

Children are also instructed to keep themselves from idols (1 John 5:21). Many children may

say, “I do not worship a false god. Therefore, I have followed this command. Sadly, they don’t see

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the vastness which the word idol covers. Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines idol as, “Anything on

which we set our affections; that to which we indulge an excessive and sinful attachment.” This is

saying that when someone has something that they have on a higher priority than God, it is an idol.

An idol is anything which usurps the place of God in the hearts of His creatures. When a child

chooses to put something before God, he is choosing to break both the first and second of the Ten

Commandments (Exodus 20:3-5; Deuteronomy 5:7-10) and is bringing terrible consequences upon

himself and his future children for many generations to come.

The final area I would like to cover on the subject of the ethics of the children is things a child

should not emulate in their parents’ lives. In Psalm 78 verse 8 we are given 4 areas where attributes

in a parent should not be repeated in the lives of the children. Children must obey their parents in

the Lord, insofar as they are instructing them to do something that is not against scripture, but

however they are to honor them in all circumstances. Let’s go over these pitfalls children are to

avoid copying from their parents.

First of all, it says that they were a stubborn generation. The Webster 1828 Dictionary defines

stubborn as “obstinate, inflexible, fixed in opinion, perverse.” This is a fool who never wants to

learn. A child should be open to others showing him what he should do differently if there is a

better way to do something. A stubborn person is unteachable. He is like a stubborn mule that

could be very helpful and useful, but it rebels. You end up exerting more of your strength trying

to overcome its will. In the same way, a child will become useless for the purpose for which h was

made, and in fact becomes a negative because he thinks that his way is the only right way.

Then there is the next step, rebellious. Rebellious means, “open resistance to a lawful

authority, violently obstinate disobedience.” While stubbornness often lies hidden in the heart,

rebellion manifests itself openly. If you have stubbornness in your heart, it is only a matter of time

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before that stubbornness will turn into full-fledged rebellion. As we have aforementioned,

rebellion in the scriptures is likened to the sin of witchcraft since it is opening the child’s heart to

satanic attacks.

Following “the stubborn and rebellious generation,” it says, “They set not their heart aright.”

Aright means, “rightly, in the right form.” Again God goes to the root. Remember, out of the

abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh (Matthew 12:34). Is the child’s heart or spirit, their

innermost being, being molded into the crucified Christian life, or are they destroying themselves

as they yield to the desires of their flesh? Does the child have boundaries set to protect his heart or

does he leave himself vulnerable to go down the rocky slope to destruction? Does he have the

armor of God on or is he leaving himself open to the attacks of Satan? Will he choose to be separate

and seek God on the inside or will he just go along with the flow? Remember it is only when

someone seeks the Lord on the inside, that their outward actions will be changed.

Then lastly, we find in this list of things that a child is instructed in Psalm 78:8 to not follow,

“Their spirit was not steadfast with God.” Again, God is looking inwardly. Anyone can fake their

actions for a while, but their actions will ultimately follow the direction their spirit is set. A child

must be steadfast, not fickle or wavering, but fixed and resolved on principle, not a double minded

man, but constant. How every child and adult needs to be firmly implanted on the truth in God’s

Word which they must apply to their lives consistently. Children must not see something is right

then go after it for a while, but purpose in their hearts as Daniel did, that when the testing of

Babylon comes into their lives, which it always will, they will take a stand for righteousness and

not compromise because of circumstances.

Truly, children have an important role in the ethics of the relationship between the parents

and their children. Though these verses we have gone over from God’s Word are by no means

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intended to be a comprehensive study of the ethics of children toward their parents, I pray it will

help every child to see the importance of fulfilling their role in the Parent/Child relationship. I also

pray that these paragraphs will help burn zeal into each and every child that reads it to dig into the

scriptures and discover for themselves how they can be better equipped to be ethical in this

relationship that God has entrusted into their hands.

2. Ethics of the Parents

The other end of this relationship is the parents. Therefore, I would like to spend the rest of

this essay discovering ways that the parents may fulfill the responsibilities that God has outlined

for them in Scripture ethically. Truly, it falls on the shoulders of the parents to ethically train the

children to be ethical in their relationship with their parents.

Sadly, many fathers are unethical and commit a major sin provoking their children to wrath

(Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). Many children are provoked to wrath and discouraged when

they see a double standard in their parents. The philosophy of “Don’t do what I do, do what I say,”

though a parent may never say it in those words, will spark rebellion in their children faster than

anything else. Not practicing what a parent says is a false balance and is an abomination to the

Lord (Proverbs 11:1). How every parent must ensure that they walk circumspectly, not as fools,

but as wise (Ephesians 5:15).

Although the mother must also train the children, the primary responsibility of training falls

upon the father. Therefore, it is essential for every father to discover how to properly train their

child. Dr. Corle in one of the lectures in the Christian Ethics course quoted a Chinese proverb

which showed that if parents do not train their children in something that is positive, inevitably the

opposite will come out. Every parent must remember the importance of repetition in training.

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When you repeatedly teach your child, you are helping to form habits in their lives that will last

them a lifetime.

A major way to train your children is teaching them the Scriptures (Psalm 119:9-11). Teaching

your children and helping them to memorize the Scriptures early will help keep them from sin. It

will help your maintenance that you do in child rearing to be preventative maintenance instead of

trying to pick up the pieces after they have destroyed themselves and require restorative

maintenance. It will help the word of God to be continually upon their heart. When they go, it shall

lead them, when they sleep, it will keep them, and when they awake, it will talk with them. It will

be a lamp to them to keep them in the way of life (Proverbs 6:21-23).

A key part of training your children is using Biblical discipline. Parents must ensure that they

discipline their children because they broke a principle, not just because something bad happened

when they broke the principle. What may have been of small consequence this time may be a great

disaster next time if they continue down this destructive path of disobedience and dishonor. Truly

wisdom comes with the rod and reproof. Sadly, so many fail to have the balance between the two

and soon have children who bring their parents to shame (Proverbs 29:15). Those who just reprove

their children without proper correction using the rod will soon teach their children there are no

consequences for wrong doing beyond a reprimand. Conversely, those who never reprove their

children and show them what they are doing wrong but just use the rod are soon going to raise

rebels who don’t perceive love coming from that kind of parent.

If a parent chooses to use the rod and reproof when the rebellion is small, he will avert major

disasters later in the child’s life. Reformers Unanimous, a faith based addictions program, states

that “Little sins lead to great disasters.” If the little roots of rebellion are allowed to grow, they will

soon grow into trees of rebellion that will be almost impossible to remove. When a child is

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corrected, he will learn to walk in the right path, give the parents rest, and be a delight unto their

souls (Proverbs 29:17). If they are not taught to take heed unto reproof, it will take them down a

deadly road to destruction. A child who despises correction will soon forsake the way and God

promises that the one who hates reproof shall die (Proverbs 15:10).

Parents must remember that they are representing God in the family. Therefore, the way that

God corrects the child should be the way that parents discipline their child. The Lord chastens

those whom he loves and delights in (Proverbs 3:12). Anyone who spares using the rod to chastise

their son is showing that they do not have true love for their son (Proverbs 13:24). The father and

mother must make sure that any correction that they do is in love and is for the good of the child.

If they don’t make what they are seeking to teach their children palatable, they will not remain

long term. The parents must not make them endure to the end with bitterness, but encourage them

to walk in the straight and narrow way.

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the solution that God clearly states in scripture

is using the rod of correction (Proverbs 22:15). Another important concept to remember when a

parent disciplines their child is that they must ensure that the source of the correction is the Holy

Scriptures. Paul states that one of the uses for the Bible is to use it for correction (2 Timothy 3:16-

17). This will help them to represent God better in the family as they show that they are disciplining

under the authority of God and not just under their own frustration or anger.

This brings up another important point. The father must not have any spirit of anger when he

disciplines the child. If he sows iniquity in his child, he will reap vanity and the rod of his anger

will fail (Proverbs 22:8). As has been aforementioned, it will only discourage his children and spur

rebellion in their hearts. How all parents need to be slow to speak, and slow to wrath.

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 The solution that a parent must use when they chastise their children is to make sure that they

have mercy when they teach their children God’s truth. (Proverbs 16:6). As has been stated before,

the greatest way that a parent provokes their children to wrath is when they have a double standard.

One way this occurs is when they say the truth, but not in mercy. If the parents teach them truth

and discipline them in truth without having mercy in that truth, they will offend rather than allow

the Holy Spirit to convict the child of their sin. They will tempt the child to rebel rather than submit

to the Lord and the parents. As I said earlier, the father is representing God in the home, and a

father who does not have the mercy of God in his heart as he leads his children in truth is a gross

perversion of God. God hates the sin in our lives because he loves us the sinner and wants us to

come to Him in repentance. If his children do not see that he is disciplining them because he loves

them and is doing what is actually best for them, they will be wandering and failing to follow the

Lord for the rest of their lives. How every father and mother must have the balance of mercy and

truth to be able to ethically raise their children!

In parenting children and especially if parents have more than one child, conflict is almost

inescapable. How the parent handles the conflict between children will determine whether God is

glorified or whether His Name is blasphemed. Clemency is absolutely essential to properly deal

with the problem. The parent must allow each side to explain their side of the story. Far too often

a parent will be tempted to just take the side of the one who is crying or the one who came to him

first instead of searching out the matter (Proverbs 18:17). Often the child that came to you or is

crying as if he is the victim is not entirely innocent. Sometimes a child may not have seen their

part of the wrong in the heat of the conflict or he may leave out things on purpose. Therefore, if a

parent just listens to one child, he will often get an unbalanced view on the subject because the

child will often leave out key information that will balance the conflict. If the parent fails to search

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out a matter before acting, they will be guilty of a false balance and that is an abomination to the

Lord (Proverbs 11:1). A parent must deliberately talk to both sides seeking to discover the root of

the disagreement. It is of the utmost importance for the man of God to not be quick to make a

judgment and be guilty of answering a matter before he hears it (Proverbs 18:13). How every

parent must be yielded to the Holy Spirit and following the principles found in God’s Word so that

they may make sound biblical decisions in solving family conflicts.

The final area I would like to explore is the crucial need for children to pass on their

convictions to their children. It is true that it is the children’s responsibility to buy the truth for

themselves, but how will they be able to buy the truth if they are never exposed to the truth. Parents

must think multi-generationally, because Satan certainly is! He has read the verse that tells us that

God visits the iniquities of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generations of

them that hate Him (Deuteronomy 5:9). If parents or children are not keeping God’s

commandments, they are showing that they don’t love God. They don’t have the reverence that is

due to His name. Remember, “What sins a parent allows in moderation, his children will indulge

in, in excess.” Children are certainly responsible for their own personal actions, but parents must

not hurt them by starting or allowing a family curse to continue down the generations. The parents

must instead love God and keep His commandments and He promises that He will show mercy

unto thousands because of their choice to honor and fear the Lord (Deuteronomy 5:10).

Therefore, I think I will take Psalm 78, the second largest psalm, and use it to address this

issue. This Psalm gives the history of Israel from Moses to David, therefore God thought that

reminding Israel of their past was worth creating the second largest Psalm. Therefore, I think that

it would be appropriate for us to conclude this essay by breaking down the first eight verses of this

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chapter thinking about the pertinent need for parents to be ethical and pass down their convictions

to their children.

Psalm 78 verse 1 is calling them to attention. He is asking them to forget all about the

distractions and focus on what he is saying. This is what we must do as we seek the face of God

whether in prayer, devotions, or in church meeting. We must set aside our worries, cares, etc. and

focus on communing with the Lord and getting what He wants us to learn. When our mind is

occupied with foolishness or something besides seeking the face of God, we are not going to grow.

We must set aside these things. Parents especially must choose to think about how they are living

and the example they are setting for their children.

Verses 2 and 3 speak of the things he has learned from his parents. As I mentioned previously,

when I think of this, I think of Dr. Corle. He often speaks of the work ethic that was passed down

to him from his father. He shares the truth that his father, even as a lost man, gave him with the

next generation so that we can pass it on to those who come after us. Parents must remember that

their children will not learn these things that they have learned from those who have gone before

unless they share it with their children.

Verse 4 speaks of how parents are not going to hide these things from their children. Solomon

said, “One generation passeth away and another cometh” (Ecclesiastes 1:4). No one is here forever.

As I said earlier, when a parent is off the scene they won’t be able to share the wonderful works

that the Lord has done. Solomon then goes into sharing 3 things parents should share with their

children.

The first thing a parent should share is the praises of the Lord. Webster’s 1828 Dictionary

defines praise as, “to extoll in words or song, to magnify, to glorify on account of perfections or

excellent work, to do honor or to display the excellence thereof.” Parent’s words and songs should

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be full of glorifying the Lord considering what great things He has done for them! This will help

the children to create a habit of praising and glorifying the Lord in their own lives.

Next is God’s strength or His power in our lives. This speaks of all that God has done for us.

In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord, when we were slipping away in the waves and we

looked to Him and He saved us. What an all-powerful God we serve. Also, when I was looking up

the definition for strength in the Webster 1828 Dictionary, I came across this: “that which supports;

that which gives me confidence.” If you were a small army going to fight against an army

immensely larger than your own, you would be fearful. But if you, as that small army, knew

reinforcements that were incomprehensibly bigger and more powerful than the army you were

fighting against were only a call away, you would have confidence. In the same way, we have a

God Who is near to us. It is our choice whether to rely on our feeble strength which is guaranteed

to fail, or to turn to God’s all-powerful, all-sufficient help. An ethical parent will share both the

times when they had victories in their lives relying on God’s strength and also the times when they

foolishly relied on their own strength and the disastrous consequences that followed.

In the subsequent point, the psalmist states that he is not hiding, but sharing that the generation

to come might know the wonderful works which He has done. All parents should share with their

children stories of how God has worked through their lives, praises that happened to them in their

walk with the Lord. They could share things that God has enabled them to do and things God has

protected them from even when they couldn’t see why. Many times we won’t know what were

saved from or what we were enabled to do until we reach glory, but sometimes God shows us these

things to encourage us in our walk with Him. Praise the Lord Christians have a God who can bring

circumstances into their lives that they may not understand at the time and work it out for their

ultimate edification and growth. Most circumstances the Lord has his believers go through are

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designed by God, so that to truly get all that He has intended out of them, a believer must rely on

God.

Successively, we see in verse 5 that God tells parents three times that it is commanded for

parents to share with their children what God has done. You may ask, “Why would it be so hard

for parents to share these things that God has done in their lives with their children?” This is

because not everything God has done for the parent is roses and blessings. They will also have

thorns and chastisement if they choose to disobey. It is God’s love that leads Him to chastise His

children (Hebrews 12:6).

The next verses in Psalm 78 tell the purpose of sharing these things with their children. First

of all, that the children might know them. Children will not know the stories of the works of God

unless the parent shares it with them. There are so many things those whose parents have gone on

would love to ask their parents, but now it is too late. Now is the time parents have to pass on

things to their children. As the poem says, “The clock of life is wound but once. And no man has

the power, To tell just when the hands will stop; At late or early hour. Now is the only time you

own, Live, love, and work with a will. Place no faith in tomorrow, for the clock may then be still.”

Parents are not promised one more day to be able to pass on their convictions to their children

(Proverbs 27:1; James 4:14).

The second reason that is given is that they may arise and declare it to their children. This is

thinking multi-generationally. The parent is sharing God’s truths and embedding these truths into

their children so that they may in turn share them with their children that have not yet been born.

When those children grow up, they can pass on the convictions to their children and the blessing

can continue to go down the generations. Most parents won’t be able to teach their great-

grandchildren, and even if they did, no one can reach a child like a parent. God designed it that

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way. Parents must do their part in parenting their children so that they will go on and repeat

process.

Next, God shares some purposes in parents training their children. The first reason was that

they might set their hope in God. Hope is defined in the Webster 1828 Dictionary as “to place

confidence in, to trust in with confident expectation of good.” Parents should set the example of

putting their hope, trust, and confidence in God and not in themselves or others. Sadly, so many

Christian parents think they are standing up for Jesus when in actuality they are standing in their

strength, instead of standing in His strength alone. They wonder what happened when the arm of

flesh fails them! No one should dare trust their own. When the trials and tribulation come into the

parent’s life, they will be shown whether they have put their confidence in the flesh or have put on

the Armor of God and are trusting in the Lord. The only way any parent will be able to stand up

for Jesus in their home is to put on each piece of the gospel armor with prayer.

Secondly, he said, “And not forget the works of God.” How easy it is when trials come into a

family’s life to forget what the Lord has done for them now and in those in their past. It is so easy

to take things for granted. An example of this happened to the Israelites in Judges 2. We see that

Joshua died and was buried (Judges 2:8-9). In the next two verses we see that the elders who knew

the works of the Lord died and another generation arose. This generation did not know the Lord,

and not the works which he had done for Israel. Just three verses after we are told that Joshua died

we see that they have already fallen into deep idolatry. This sad story serves as a reminder to all

of us of the downward progression and how fast that downward progression can take. If someone

does not choose this day to maintain their personal walk with the Lord, it may not affect them in

the current generation but it will affect their children. How easy it is to just borrow the truth from

those we are around and be thermometer Christians. In the words of Evangelist, Dr. Tom Sooter,

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“You are going to prove the Bible is true. You just choose which of the promises you want to

prove.” The parent must decide whether they want God to revisit the iniquities of the fathers upon

the children unto the third and fourth generations. In other words, they must choose whether they

want to pass mercy down the generations or if they want to pass down judgment. It is during the

small trials, often with their spouse or children, that what they say is tested. They will either rely

on their own strength, fall, and discourage themselves and others, or in the day of their trouble,

they can, as Asaph did in Psalm 77, call unto the Lord and rely on His strength to get them through.

It is only through the Holy Spirit that they will ever be able to stay afloat.

Subsequently in Psalm 78 verse 7 we read, “keeping His commandments. I already went over

this earlier, but this is instead of forgetting about what God has done in their lives, parents must

be and train their children to be obedient to Christ’s commands. Repetition burns something into

the brain and when parents are serving the Lord in their lives and helping their children to learn to

love to serve the Lord, it will help to burn the works of the Lord into their brains. It will form a

habit of being obedient to His commands. This reminds me of Sam’s Club and Walmart. They

were founded by Sam Walton who had convictions against selling liquor. Sadly, he didn’t pass on

his convictions to his children and grandchildren and we see the results today.

Finally, verse 8 shares three things that should not be emulated from their parents. I went over

this earlier in reference to the ethics of the children, but parents would do well to get these things

out of their lives, so that they are not a temptation to their children, therefore I will seek to briefly

review the main points. It speaks of them as being a stubborn and rebellious generation. This was

often used in reference to the children of Israel as they went through the wilderness and we can

remember many of the plagues that happened to them because of their rebellion and stubbornness,

because they failed to submit and were instead violently obstinate.

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 Secondly, he speaks of the parents not setting their heart aright. How important it is for the

parents to mold himself into the crucified Christian life so that they can be the proper examples to

their children. They must choose to set up boundaries to protect their heart from going down into

destructions and put on the armor of God so that they can protect their family from the attacks of

Satan. The parent must make the conscious choice to be separate and seek the Lord on the inside

no matter what those around them do. If the parents do not make this personal choice, their family

will be dragged down by the filthiness of the flesh. Oh, how parents need to make sure that Christ

is the focal point for all that they do.

Then lastly in this list that, if parents don’t personally choose to go God’s way, their children

will have to resist following is, “Their spirit was not steadfast with God.” The parents must be

fixed, steadfast, and not wavering. They must stay in the word and study it so that they can be

firmly implanted upon the rock of God’s Word, fixed and resolved on principle, applying the truths

to their lives constantly.

Parents must decide what legacy they are choosing right now to leave for their children. Is it

one of blessing or cursing? Praise the Lord for parents who choose to lay the foundation of the

truth of God’s Word. But what will the rest of the parents do? Some are choosing to lay the

foundation right now in the small daily trials that they have. All are left with a choice whether to

be someone whom their children can look at and say, “The lines have fallen unto me in pleasant

places. I have a goodly heritage. My father and mother left a Godly legacy for me to follow” (Psalm

16:6) or to be one whom their children will have to say, “We must keep God’s commandments

and be not as our fathers?” Will their children have to work hard to break the generational curses

that they pass down or will they enjoy blessings and mercy based on their obedience.

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 Though this was never intended to be a comprehensive study of the ethics parents should have

toward their children, I pray these paragraphs have helped to stir the hearts of parents seeking to

raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Truly the home is the most important

ministry any parent can have and they are the only ones who can choose to have such a tremendous

impact on the lives of their children. Parents must follow the instruction they know in raising their

children before they ever expect the Lord to share more. When they have applied what they already

know and are open to further instruction, these ethical parents will be able to raise up a quiver of

arrows to destroy the works of hell, saving many from his destructive bondage.

Beyond doubt, the relationship of the parents and children must be handled ethically. Children

must remain under the umbrella of their parent’s protection, submitting to their parents. The

parents, in turn must not abuse this relationship but seek to raise them up in the nurture and

admonition of the Lord. If each fails in their duties, they will never know the eternal costs they

have inflicted on each other. If each do their job ethically, only eternity will show the impact it

will have on the lost world. So many are watching Christians to see if what they say is real. They

are desiring for the answer to their inner longing that can only be filled by Jesus Christ. Will parents

and children choose to do their part to reach them?

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