By

Dr. Tony Alessandra

Garry Schaeffer
Phillip S. Wexler










Copyright 2002

Preface
This book was planted with the seeds of inspiration and grew by virtue of
research and creativity. The inspiration was the notion that street smarts plays a
tremendous role in everything from survival to success in every walk of life.
Next, we identified the characteristics of street smart people and set out to find
corroboration for our theory.
The research was comprised of interviews with people whom we believed
were street smart. They ranged from CEO's, business owners, and management
consultants to university professors, actors, political activists, and undercover
cops. Our interviews always began with the question: "What do you think are the
characteristics of street smart people?" Without fail, our interviewees identified
the same traits again and again. We were thrilled, flattered, and convinced we
had distilled street smarts down to its essence.
Each interviewee had a unique way of fleshing out some or most of the
characteristics of street smarts. Their stories were fascinating and many were
incorporated into this book.
The creativity came later in our choice of a style in which to tell our story.
We chose an allegory because we hoped it would be more entertaining and
memorable.
The authors would like to thank the street smart people who were generous
with their time and their knowledge. We were very fortunate to have interviewed
them:

Steve Entertainment Renaissance Man: actor, comedian, songwriter, the original host of the
Allen…………… "Tonight Show"
Bill
Former Pres., Meridian Educational Sys; former ad agency owner
Arens……………...
Wayne
DEA Supervisor; former undercover cop
Arnold………..
F. Lee
Trial attorney
Bailey…………
David
Stand-up comedian
Brenner………..
Robert
Actor; "Hill Street Blues," "Ohara"
Clohessy……..
Frank
Former Chicago undercover cop; Founder, Westec Security
Collura…………
Tom
Stand-up comedian
Dreesen…………
Dr. Gerry
Management Consultant; Founder of Courseware
Faust……..
Geraldine
Former Congresswoman; 1984 Vice-presidential candidate
Ferraro……
Dennis
Actor; “N.Y.P.D. Blue”; "Hill Street Blues;"
Franz……….
Dr. Paul
Speaker/consultant/author of The Situational Leader
Hersey………

Political activist of 20 years; best known for his role in the demonstration of the 1968
Abbie
Democratic National Convention and as a defendant in the Chicago Seven conspiracy
Hoffman……….
trial

Victor
"The man who bought the company"  former CEO of Remington Products
Kiam…………...
Gerry
Former Dir. of Comm. for N.I.M.H. (during Nixon Admin.)
Kurtz…………...
Dr. Lois
Founder/Exec. Dir. of Children of the Night
Lee…………..
Sid
Former President, Levitz Furniture
Levitz……………..
Jay
Professional mime; educator
Miller……………..
G. Dale
Former C.E.O. of Murray Industries/Chris Craft Boats
Murray………
Dr. Michael
Former V.P., Resource Development for Carlson Learning Co.
O'Connor
Eddie
Pres. of Spizel Advertising and Public Relations; pioneered the use of professional
Spizel…………. athletes for celebrity product endorsements on radio and TV
Dale Founder, Westec Security; owner of three other businesses ranging from real estate
Stein……………. development to printing
Dr Robert
IBM Professor of Psychology, Yale University
Sternberg…
Jonathan
President, Loews Hotels
Tisch………
Carl
Founder, Automotive Satellite Television Network
Westcott…………
Bob
Former Chicago attorney
Wysong………….


Dr. Tony Alessandra
Garry Schaeffer
Phillip S. Wexler

I graduated Summa cum Laude from the University of Wisconsin School of
Business, but good grades didn’t begin to prepare me for life in New York City.
My wake up call came right off the boat, so to speak. In Kennedy Airport, my
briefcase was stolen. Some guy ran off with it when I turned my back for five
seconds; well, maybe 10. How stupid of me. There's a lesson they don’t teach
you in any school. Welcome to New York!
My next eye-opener came when I went for a beer around five o'clock. I had
some time to kill before looking at an apartment. I sauntered into a neighborhood
bar, sat down, sipped a brew, eavesdropped on some conversations, and lost
myself in other peoples’ lives.
A husky man of about 50 came in and sat next to me at the bar. The bartender
knew him well. She poured him a beer and refused to take his money.
“Frank, your drinks are on the house for as long as you live,” she said.
“At the rate I’m going, that may not be long!” Frank laughed, shooting her a
knowing smile. “I should have brought back-up before coming in here.” I was
intrigued. Loosened by the suds, I leaned over and asked, “Excuse me, but, I’d
love to know why you get free drinks here. Unless, of course, it’s too personal.”
“It’s personal,” he said, “but I don’t mind telling you. He shifted to face me.
“I almost got killed the last time I came in here!” he whispered. “I’m a cop.
About two weeks ago I stopped by to show Louise the latest book of mug shots
to see if she could identify the guy who held her up last month. As I walked
through the front door, I was confronted with one guy with a shotgun and
another guy at the bar with a .45. They’re sticking up the joint! The guy with the
shotgun had just fired a shot into the ceiling. There’s plaster all over the place
and they’re threatening to kill everybody in the bar.
“As I walk in, Louise blurts out, ‘Officer, it’s a hold up!’ The guy in front of
me spins and fires! I thought he hit me, but it just passed through my sleeve.
Now my instincts are coming into play and I have to make a decision. If I draw
my weapon, I’m dead. There’s no way I’m going to Wyatt Earp it. So my
instincts told me to fall straight forward and hit the ground, preferably with my
face. I knew if I did that, I’d break my nose and bleed. So I did. I was in a pool
of blood. My adrenaline was pumping. Meanwhile, the guy with the shotgun ran
behind the jukebox.
“The officer whose squad car covered this district was an Irish guy whose
sight was so bad I had to shoot at his target to help him get through the police
academy. He was the first one through the door. Just as he sees the guy covering
the bar with the .45, he slips on my blood, and as he’s falling, he shoots and hits
the perpetrator right between the eyes!”
My mouth was wide open.
“The cop is laying next to me, and I’m whispering, ‘Pssst! Patrick!’ He puts
his gun to my head and says, ‘Don’t move or I’ll blow your head off.’ He
thought I was one of the perps. I said, ‘It’s Frank. There’s another perp behind
the jukebox.’ Patrick says, ‘Where?’ and spins around and fires a shot through
the jukebox, hits the guy in the head and he’s dead too! Blind as a bat, and he
kills both guys with two shots. While slipping! He didn’t even recognize me
until I showed him my badge!”
“Come on,” I said, “you’re pulling my leg, right?”
“Not at all,” the cop assured me. “Look.” He pointed to the ceiling. Sure
enough there was a four-foot hole where the plaster was missing.
“That’s incredible,” I said, “the thing that gets me is, how did you think to
fall forward and hit your nose on the floor? The police academy doesn’t train
guys to do that sort of thing!”
“After you’ve been in this line of work for a while,” he said, “you learn to
think quickly on your feet, or your nose, if necessary. If you’re going to survive,
you’ve got to have street smarts.”
Suddenly I had a sense of really being on to something hot. His words
echoed in my head, “You’ve got to have street smarts.” New York. The airport.
My briefcase. Street Smarts. Ah ha!
The cop turned his attention back to the bartender and I figured my time was
up. I paid the tab, thanked the cop, and left.

   

Tom and I met on the street. The little brat was sitting on the stoop reading the
sports page when I walked up to his building to see an apartment.
"Hey, Gringo!" he shouted as I approached. "You must be the guy that wants to
see the vacancy, right?" Tom said. "Is it true you're from Wisconsin?"
"Yes," I said in my most dignified bravado, "and my name is Charles."
"What ya say, Chuck-E-Cheese!" he roared. "Damn, I never thought I'd meet
anyone from Wisconsin."
He turned on the cornball routine, acting as if I were some kind of country
bumpkin from reruns of The Beverly Hillbillies. He even asked if I played the
banjo. New Yorkers sure have a strange way of putting out the welcome mat.
"Come on up, the owner's waiting for you," the kid said.
"Are you his son?" I asked.
 "No way," he shuddered. "I just help out. Come on, he should be done
emptying the rat traps by now."
He didn't crack a smile, but I assumed he was joking. The owner was in the
apartment cleaning up. It was a small, furnished one-bedroom. He showed me
around, which took 15 seconds, and I told him I would take it. We talked for a
few minutes and then sat down at the kitchen table to fill out a rental agreement.
He asked me for the first and last month's rent and a cleaning deposita hell of
a lot of money to fork out. I couldn't believe it; and I almost agreed to his terms.
The kid was standing behind the owner, making faces and all kinds of
gyrations. I wondered why this kid was practicing break-dancing at a time like
this.
"Look, I just got my M.B.A.," I told the owner. "I start work at the Bank on
Monday. I could give you a check for half now and..."
The kid's eyes were bulging. He was shaking his head violently and gesturing
with thumbs down. He pointed toward the bathroom. I suddenly realized what he
was doing.
"Would you excuse me for a minute," I said, "this morning's coffee seems to
have caught up with me." I got up and went to the bathroom. The kid followed.
"You're about to get ripped off, cheese-dip!" he said after we closed the door.
"The owner is a thief. Don't give him that much money."
"What can I do?" I asked. "It's his apartment and I want to rent it!"
"Don't you know anything?" the kid said. "Make a deal!"
Okay, so I was a little naive. Give me a break! For the past six years my head
had been buried in books. And when I wasn't studying, I was playing basketball.
"Why should he compromise?" I asked the kid. "He's the one who can afford
to be independent. After all, the law of supply and demand is in his favor."
"Don't get legal with me," the kid said, "he likes you and he'd rather rent to
someone he likes than to someone he doesn't like. The deposit doesn't mean as
much as having someone who won't wreck the joint."
"How can I negotiate?" I said frustrated. "What have I got to offer?"
"You have a lot," the kid assured me. "Offer to paint the apartment at your
expense. Offer to sign a lease rather than rent month-to-month. Tell him you'll
help me take out the garbage cans twice a week."
"What am I, 13 years old!" I told the kid.
"Hey, it's not so bad," he said defensively. "It sure beats living on a farm and
shoveling all that horse..."
"Listen," I interrupted, "what's a reasonable deposit to give him? What am I
aiming for here?"
"I've seen him accept first month's rent plus $750," the kid said. "Try for
that."
We flushed the toilet and I resumed my position at the bargaining table. The
owner was getting impatienthe glanced at his watch and also gave the kid a
dirty look.
"As I told you on the phone," I said, "I just moved here. I just got out of
school, so I don't have a lot of money. I really like the apartment and you can see
that I'm the kind of person who will keep it clean. In fact, I'll go a step further. I
used to work with wood. In my spare time, I'll refinish the furniture for you in
exchange for a lower deposit."
The owner's eyes grew wide. He told me he had a storeroom with a dozen
antiques that he would love to have refinished. I told him I would do them for
him at my leisureno charge.
"I'll tell you what," I said, "I'll give you the first month's rent, starting today,
and $400 as a deposit." I intentionally threw out a low number, figuring he'd
raise it. To my surprise, he agreed to my terms. I signed the rental agreement and
cut the check. The kid was gloating and making faces at the back of the owner's
head. I also felt triumphant, but didn't show it.
After the owner left, the kid and I gave each other high-fives.
"How do you know the owner so well?" I asked.
"My old man used to be the super," he said, "before he split. Now me and my
mother do it. I know everything about this building, and the neighborhood. If
there's anything you want to know, just ask me."
"How'd you get to be such a shrewd negotiator?" I asked.
My father taught me that a long time ago," he said. "When I was about eight,
there was this bicycle I wanted in a store. It was 75 dollars. I had 50 bucks from
selling newspapers all summer. I told my dad about it and he sent me to the store
and told me to ask for the owner. He said the owner was the only one who could
change the price of the bike. My dad told me to offer him 50 dollars for the bike.
I did and got turned down. A week later I was talking about the bike again so my
father sent me back with the same offer. Still no deal. A week later my father
said, `Be creative.' That's all he said. I went back and offered 50 bucks plus three
months of window washing. That deal he liked; I rode the bike home that day."

To be Street Smart...
Look for flexibility in situations that seem to have none; don’t assume a price,
fee or deposit is firmly fixed; negotiate with a give and take attitude; ask for
what you want! If the answer is NO, ask again. Maybe they didn’t understand
the question!


   

The next time I saw the kid he was sitting in his usual spot on the stoop,
reading the sports page. I had just returned from the grocery store and had two
bulging paper bags in my arms. As I approached the steps I could see him
smirking.
“What is it now?” I asked, slightly amused.
“Oh, nothing,” he said coyly. “I guess you want a hand, right?”
“If you don’t mind,” I said.
“Are you kidding, Cheese-Whiz,” he said nonchalantly, “even my mother
pays me to help her.”
At the top of the stairs I began fumbling for my keys. One of the bags started
to slide down to my leg. My arms were aching from the weight and I knew I was
going to drop everything.
“Help!” I yelled. “Just for a second!”
“For ten bucks I will!” he yelled back.
“Are you crazy!” I snapped.
“Come on, I just saved you a thousand dollars! “ he shouted.
“Okay, two bucks, NOW!” I barked, just as one of the bags gave way, but he was
there in a flash to catch it. Nothing broke and everything was under control.
“Now, I don’t mind,” he said calmly.
I opened the door to the lobby. “This way,” I said as I headed for my
apartment.
“Two bucks was just for the rescue,” he said boldly. “Delivery’s extra.”
I looked him square in the eyes and said quietly, “Two bucks is for delivery
to my door.” He started to put the bag down. I thought I’d go for broke. “Hold it!
What’s your name again?”
“Tom.”
“How old are you, Tom?”
“Fifteen.”
“You want to live to be sixteen!” I didn’t wait for an answer. I was afraid
he’d say he didn’t care. “Follow me!”
He followed me to my apartment. I now know whynot because my threat
fazed him, but because he intended to do so all alonghe wanted to see my
apartment, now that it was lived in.
“Thanks for your help,” I said when we got to my door.
“Aren’t you going to be a good neighbor and invite me in for tea?” he smirked.
“I’ll invite you in and pay you the two bucks I owe you,” I said, opening the
 door, “Just don’t steal anything.”
Tom walked in and was immediately transfixed by my old Larry Bird
poster.
“Wow, Bird! I love B-Ball too!” he said as he dribbled an imaginary ball
and swished jump shots from the three-point line.
We talked about basketball until we were famished, then split a frozen
pepperoni pizza. We told each other our life stories and, believe it or not, his
took longer to tell than mine. The kid was only fifteen and already he had at least
two novels in him. It was ironic, he had the life stories and no desire to write and
I had the desire to write and no adventures to tell the world. Not yet.
“By the way,” I asked him, “why do you cut school so much?”
“Give me a break, will ya?” he said, “I get enough of that from my mother.”
“Your mother must be a smart woman,” I said defiantly. I saw him tune me
out so I changed the subject. “You read the sports page every day, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna be a sports announcer someday,” he said.
“Well, stop wasting your money buying the paper,” I said in a feigned
reprimand. He looked at me as if I had offered him property in the New Jersey
swamps. “I’ll give you my morning paper when I’m done with it.”
“Hey thanks,” he said, starting to relax again. “And for you, I’ll...see that you
don’t get ripped off.”

   

Weeks passed. One day I returned home from work early and found Tom in
front of the building dribbling a basketball and teasing one of the neighborhood
girls.
“You didn’t go to school again!” I yelled, sounding more like a father than a
friend.
“You and your school!” he countered. “Did you close that big deal today?”
“No,” I said, feeling a sharp jab of disappointment.
“A lotta good school’s done you,” he said. “You and your degree! I bet I
could have closed that deal.”
He could have closed the deal! What a jerk. The possibility was more than I
wanted to contemplate at the moment, so I walked past my building and around
the block several times before returning. Tom was still outside when I got back. I
apologized for hassling him about school and he apologized for razzing me
about the blown deal.
“You know, Bird and Magic and all those guys did go to school,” I told him.
“In fact, college is a great training ground for athletes...and sportscasters.”
 “Yeah, well, there isn’t a whole lot of things I don’t already know that school
is gonna teach me,” he said arrogantly.
“If you want to be on TV, you have to be able to speak properly,” I told him.
Before he had a chance to rebut, I said, “It seems to me that you and I can work
out a deal here.” His eyes grew wide. “I have some of what you need and you
have some of what I need. Let’s work together.”
“What do I have that you need?” he asked.
“You’re street smart,” I said. He gloated, obviously liking the label.
“What do you have that I need? A college degree?” he asked skeptically.
“That’s right,” I said. “I’ll tell you what. If you’ll take some of my advice,
I’ll take some of yours. You see, you might have been able to close that deal
today, but you couldn’t have gotten in the door. I got in the door, but couldn’t
close the deal.”
That night I was brushing my teeth before going to bed. One thought lead to
another and I imagined the undercover cop falling on his face to save his life.
Then I thought of the kid and his smooth street style. What a new and unique
world this wasthe big city where there is so much more than meets the eye. I
was fascinated and felt a welcomed challenge. There was a lot to be learned
here.

II


If You’re So Smart, How Come You’re Not Rich?

Real World Intelligence versus Book Learning

The next morning during breakfast I read the paper in the usual orderfront
page, sports, business, and op-eds. On the second page of the business section a
headline jumped off the page: ‘Street smarts’ count more in management,
professors say. Whoa! I read on.
According to Drs. Robert Sternberg of Yale and Richard Wagner of Florida
State, street smarts is a far better predictor of managerial success than academic
performance. They even said a very high I.Q. could be a detriment to managerial
success.
At first I was skeptical, but a moment laterconsidering everything I had
experienced so far in New Yorkthe idea rang true. I tore out the article, threw
it in my briefcase, and went to work after leaving the newspaper for Tom.
After work I ran to the library and did some digging. I found a couple of
articles by Sternberg on intelligence. I was fascinated by his insight. His theory
of intelligence went beyond the traditional notion of I.Q. He believes there are
three facets to intelligence: abstract intelligencethe ability to analyze, deduce,
and think logically; experiential intelligencethe ability to creatively combine
different experiences to solve a problem; and contextual intelligencethe ability
to use one’s environment to play the game. The latter, intelligence within a
context, Sternberg also calls street smarts, practical intelligence, or tacit
knowledge.
The library was about to close by the time I regained awareness of my
surroundings. I took the photocopied articles home and continued reading before
bed. I had trouble falling asleep that night, so to lull myself to sleep, I imagined
myself in a supersonic jet, soaring over the ocean towards an exotic destination.


   

The flight was brief and the destination less than exotic. The plane landed at
the airport in New Haven, Connecticut. From there, Charles took a limo to Yale
University to meet Dr. Robert Sternberg.
“Thank you for taking the time to see me, Dr. Sternberg,” Charles said as the
professor pointed to a chair in the book-lined office.
“My pleasure,” Dr. Sternberg said. “I enjoy talking about my work.”
“I remember reading that your concept of practical intelligence has nothing
to do with life in the big city,” Charles said.
“I don’t think street smarts has anything to do with big cities or small cities,”
Sternberg replied. “It’s no longer a negative term that conjures up images of
street gangs or con artists. There is no denying that street smarts has its roots in
the impoverished areas of inner cities, places in which people had to develop
certain abilities just to survive physically; but just as blues singers are no longer
slaves, street smart people are no longer just city-dwellers. They are born, raised,
live, and work in all types of environments.
“I use the term much more generically. In any pursuit in life there is a formal
knowledge base and an informal knowledge base. The formal knowledge base is
what you’re told. It’s what you get in the manual when you start a job. It’s what
you get in the course work in college. Informal knowledge is everything they
don’t bother to tell you. And usually that’s the stuff that makes the most
difference. It’s the stuff they can’t say and wouldn’t say if they could. That’s
why we call it tacit knowledge. It’s what you learn from your environment. You
might say it’s the unwritten rules of life.
“There’s street smarts for country life and there’s street smarts for city life.
There’s street smarts for being a business executive and street smarts for
students. Even students need street smarts in order to write papersthey need to
know what’s going to sell their professors.”
“If it’s so important for everyone, why don’t schools teach it?” Charles
added.
“Schools tend to over-focus on the formal aspects of intelligence, the abstract
thinking. They’ve always believed that, in developing kids, the idea is for kids to
get good grades. Now I’m not denying the importance of education, and good
grades are very important, but grades aren’t the whole picture. Often what
happens is the people who have the highest grades are the ones who make the
least money. In fact, 'B' students end up earning more money than the people at
the top of the class. You know the old saying, ‘If you’re so smart, why aren’t you
rich?’ Just look around at some smart people and you’ll see what I mean.”
“Why is it the ‘B’ students are more successful than the ‘A’ students?”
Charles asked.
“Because people in the middle have more of a balance between abstract
intelligence and practical intelligence,” Dr. Sternberg continued. “They are
people who do more than just study. They get involved in student politics, sports,
theatre, and other interests that give them real-life experience. When they get out
of school, they have more social skills and savvy about how things are done in
the real world.”
“Clearly, then, you need a balance,” Charles said.
“People with academic knowledge and no street smarts are missing half of a
complete package,” Sternberg said. “And street smart people without education
are also missing half; these people, in fact, are the type who often end up going
down the troubled road and becoming criminals. The ideal combination is the
best education you can get plus street smartsthat’s what you find in super-
achievers.”
“It’s kind of like a car,” Charles said, “that needs power and steering to get
anywhere. In people, street smarts is the thrust, education is the direction.”
“That’s a good analogy,” Dr. Sternberg said.
“So how do I learn to be street smart?” Charles asked.
“One of the critical things is just your attitude,” Sternberg continued. “You
must have an attitude that this is something that matterssomething you can use
to your advantage. So a big part of learning is motivational. It’s almost a
prerequisite for developing it. Then you have to seek out the information from
other people, from your environment, and from within yourself. The first is done
by observing street smart people and asking questions of mentors. The second is
done by paying attention, both inwardly and outwardly. You have to let the
knowledge you already have come outand we all have more than we might
give ourselves credit for. ”

To Be Street Smart...
Get motivated! Find people to use as role models. Be observant. Ask questions.
Listen closely.

“I think it’s important to realize just how broad this concept is, ” Dr.
Sternberg continued. “It really does apply to every occupation imaginable, even
if you’re in the arts or science. Too many artists and scientists don’t realize that
they, too, have to sell themselves. I have a friend who is an artist. Believe it or
not, he makes a great living painting scenes on fingernails. They’re very
detailed, intricate scenes that women pay him $10 per nail to paint. He has his
own beauty shop, but decided he wanted to go back to art school to get a
graduate degree. He hired a manager to run his shop so he could go to art school
in California. One day he got an invitation to dinner from one of his professors.
He was very excited because he thought he was being singled out and given the
opportunity to learn at the feet of the master. At dinner there were three or four
other professors from the art department and he was really impressed with
himself. It turned out, the reason they invited him was so they could learn from
him how to make money with their art! There he was studying to be a better
artist and all these supposedly great artists were tapping him for his expertise in
the real world!”


   

I was rudely awakened by the sound of someone running up the stairs outside
my apartment, then came the predictable slamming of the newspaper against my
door. I was getting tired of the paperboy waking me up every morning at 5:30,
but this morning was different. The edge was off my anger. In fact, I didn’t even
care. I had the vague feeling I had dreamed something profound, but couldn’t
recall what it was. Normally I would find this disturbing, but this morning I felt
a calmness about it and simply trusted the message in my dream would return.
At work that day I began to look more closely at the people in my
department. In particular, I was looking to see who was street smart and who was
not. My plan was to figure out what made the street smart people tick. I wanted
to know how they thought and behaved that was different from everyone else.
It was a Friday, so after work a group headed to a local pub near Wall Street.
I ordered a drink and joined the tail end of a conversation between two people in
my department who I thought might be street smartmy boss and the V.P. of
marketing. They had been talking about finesse and style. We all agreed that
sometimes it’s not what you do, but how you do it.
“You know, I think I’ve got a lot on the ball,” I told my elders. “Hell, I
graduated at the top of my class; I played college basketball for four years; I was
hired by your bank.”
“That might have been a mistake,” my boss quipped.
“I'm amazed by a neighbor of mine, a kid of 15 who seems to be the most
savvy, street smart person I’ve ever met. The kid makes me look like a babe in
the woods.”
“Be careful of your book learning,” my boss said, “because it’s only part of
the package. And don’t be too impressed by the fact that you graduated Summa
cum Laude.”
“I’m beginning to realize that,” I continued. “There are a lot of important
abilities that my education has neglectedit took a 15-year old kid to show me
that a rental deposit was negotiable! So I’m going to do what it takes to learn to
be street smart. I even had a dream about it last night.”
“That’s great,” the V.P. of marketing interjected. “Pay attention to your
dreams! They’re often your intuition coming to the surface and offering
solutions to problems that you take to bed with you. Some of the greatest
discoveries of all time were inspired by their inventors’ dreams. Use them as a
tool.”

To Be Street Smart...
Listen to your inner voice.

III

You Gotta TURN UP YOUR RADAR

Heightened Awareness

I took a cab home because I didn’t think it was a good idea to walk the streets of
New York half-in-the-bag. As a neophyte city-dweller, if I were going to be
mugged, I’d at least want to be sober for it.
I was eating a fast-food burger and reading the evening paper when there was
a scratching sound on the door. I opened it and found Tom sprawled on the floor
as if he were dead.
“Very funny,” I said, “come in.”
Tom threw a couple of books on the couch.
“We were supposed to go over your math tonight, weren’t we?” I asked.
“Let’s skip it and watch the Knicks game,” Tom said anxiously. “It starts in
ten minutes.”
“No, let’s do your math,” I said. It was difficult enough getting him to agree
to be tutored. The last thing I wanted to do was encourage him to goof off.
Tom was easily distracted, as usual, but I managed to get him to understand
isosceles, right, acute, and obtuse triangles. Afterwards we devoured a Sara Lee
chocolate cake and watched the end of the Knicks game. Sometimes all you need
is the last five minutes.
Tom left and I later fell asleep after Jay Leno’s interview with comedian
David Brenner.


   

Charles boarded the supersonic jet and took his reserved seat near the
window. He watched the country race by as they sped to Las Vegas. Upon
arrival, Charles was met by a white limousine that whisked him to a hotel where
David Brenner was performing. In the huge dinner theatre, a maitre d’ seated
Charles at the foot of the stage. When the show began, David Brenner came out
and, before starting his act, leaned over and shook Charles’ hand. Brenner began
his act with the line that prompted Charles to call him in the first place.
“Next to my parents,” Brenner said, “the most influential aspect of my life
was the street corner.” He went on to talk about street smarts, survival in
Philadelphia as a kid, and other funny bits. At the end of the show a man came
over to Charles and told him Mr. Brenner would see him now.
In the dressing room Brenner introduced Charles to his manager. The three of
them sat down and munched on finger-foods as they talked. David was the same
person he was on stagerelaxed, fast-talking, and poignant.
“Street Smartsyou can see it in people,” he said. “There’s a certain
quickness, a sharpness, a certain paranoia, and skepticism.
“Everything to me is the street corner. Any wisdom I got, I got from my
father and my mother, and the guys on the corner. A lot of guys, once they got
out of the neighborhood, they made the mistake of acting like they were never in
the neighborhood. They let the values go. When I finally got out of that
neighborhood, there were a lot of values I took with me.
“Whenever I’m faced with a business decision or a professional decision, I
take it right back to the street. I ask myself, ‘What would I do in the streets?’ I
went to college and I’m telling you, if I use three percent of what I learned in
college, it’s a miracle; 97 percent of every good move I ever made was from my
street wisdom.
“When you’re a kid growing up in the city, in the morning, you have
breakfast and you leave for school. The minute you open that door you’re in
Hell’s Kitchen. The first thing you have to deal with is the neighborhood bully or
a stranger on the street looking for trouble. So the minute you start down that
front step, you gotta have your antennae up for danger just so you can make it to
school.
“For some reason, I have one of the best radar systems. When I used to live
down on the street as a kid, in our gang, I used to walk in front. I could feel
trouble before it even happened.
“I was once driving down to Miami with some friends. This was back in
about 1967. We were in a small town in north Florida. We stopped and went into
a restaurant for dinner. We sat down and the menus hadn’t even come yet and I
said, ‘Let’s get outta town.’ They said, ‘Why?’ I said, ‘I don’t know, but there’s
trouble in this town.’ So we got in the car and drove out of town. The next
morning we read in a newspaper that some Black kid in that town went to a
white-only swimming pool and there was a huge uproar and the whole town
exploded in a race riot.
“Everything you do is on intuition. You fly by the seat of your pants. You go
on your gut reaction all the time with everything and everybody. You don’t
calculate because you know you really like yourself. Your computer
systemyour subconsciousis gonna take care of you. Feed the information
into it, it’ll digest it and pop the answer into your brain. It’ll tell you what to say,
where to move, what to do. There’s no thinking. I work almost strictly on
intuition.
“I’ve only been ripped off a few times in my life. I once did a gig and the guy
wanted to give me half of it in cash. At the end of the night he said, ‘Do you
mind if I give you some cash and a check?’ Even though it was a successful club,
my intuition was telling me to ask for all cash, but instead I reluctantly agreed to
take the check. It bounced. I was so angry with myself because I knew better!
“Always go on your gut reaction. You’re rarely wrong, because if you know
yourself real well and you like yourself enough, you’re gonna take care of
yourself. If you’re wrong, it’s only because you’re being overly safe and overly
protective.”
“Clearly, street smart people trust their intuition,” Charles said, “but how do
you know when your intuition is right?”
Brenner’s manager spoke up. “That’s a matter of practice. You see, there is a
lot of stuff that can masquerade as intuition. By “stuff” I mean fears, wishful
thinking, negative thinking, your ego. When your ego is involved, it cancels out
your gut. Your intuition will often point out possible problems, but your ego just
adds to your problems.
“So what you do is keep track of your hunches. Write them down and see
what happens. By keeping tabs on which come true and which don’t, you will
see what your track record is and learn to recognize how true intuition feels.”
Charles added, “The VP of Marketing at work mentioned dreams can be used
as a tool. And Dr. Robert Sternberg believes street smarts help you in every facet
of life, including business. I wonder if intuition will find its place in the business
world?”
“Absolutely,” the manager added, “many researchers, writers and business
people are calling intuition the job skill of the future. John Naisbitt discussed it
in his book, Megatrends, and Roy Rowan wrote a whole book about it called,
The Intuitive Manager. In fact, many universities are starting to teach it. I have a
nephew at Stanford who is taking a class called, ‘Creativity in Business.’ The
purpose of the class is to enhance students’ awareness of and confidence in their
intuition.”
“Wow, it’s really catching on,” Charles said.
“And it should,” the manager continued. “research has shown that an
executive’s ability to use intuition is significantly correlated with a high profit
record. There is no question that street smart people are more willing to trust
their intuition than someone else’s facts and figures.”
“You guys sure know a lot about street smarts,” Charles said.
 “This is your dream,” Brenner said. “We wouldn’t want to disappoint you.”

To Be Street Smart...
Turn up your radar and pay attention to your surroundings. Keep track of your
intuitive hunches. Write them down, see which ones come truethe truly
intuitive ones will carry the most power and conviction. Admit your fears,
prejudices and wishes so you will not confuse them with your intuition. Practice
all of the above!

Back at the airport, Charles boarded the plane for his return flight and
noticed there were more people on board. He took a seat across from a rugged
Black man wearing a three-piece suit. Sitting next to him was the same cop
Charles had met earlier in the bar in New York.
“You look familiar,” Charles said to the cop.
“I remember you,” the cop said. “How ya doin’? By the way, I’m Frank.”
“Charles.”
“Wayne.i.Arnold;,” the other man said, shaking Charles’ hand.
“What brings you to Vegas?” Charles asked.
“Government work,” Arnold said nonchalantly.
“Wayne is with the DEA,” Frank said, “and I’m on loan to them as a wiretap
specialist.”
“Sounds pretty exciting,” Charles said.
“It can be,” Wayne said, “but at this stage it’s just a routine stake-out. Did
you come to play the tables?”
“No,” Charles said. “I’m on a mission to learn about street smarts. I came to
talk to David Brenner.”
“Street smarts,” Wayne said, giving Frank a knowing look. “Why a mission
to learn about street smarts?”
“To get some for myself,” Charles said. “From what I’ve learned so far, it’s
something that can help you, no matter who you are, what you do, or where you
do it.”
“There’s no doubt about that,” Wayne said. “Especially in my line of work,
street smarts is a prerequisite for the job. I’ve been on the streets in Chicago,
New York, Los Angeles, you name it,” Wayne said. “In my 15 years with the
department, I’ve made almost 3,000 street busts.
“So how has street smarts come into play for you?” Charles asked. “In
undercover work, you have to be able to protect yourself,” Wayne explained.
“You have to be able to anticipate someone else doing something. You learn to
play your hunches. If something feels right, you do it, if it doesn’t, you don’t do
it.”
“So intuition plays a big part in police work,” Charles said. “That’s
something I’ve heard a lot lately.”
“Absolutely,” Frank interjected. “In police work, street smarts is considered a
sixth sense. That’s only half the picture. It’s also a developed instinct based on
visual observation. You get the chill up your spine; sometimes from intuition,
sometimes from specific stimuli that you’re observing.
“Let me give you an example. As a cop, you learn what a glance means. You
learn what furtive moves are, such as two guys sitting at a curb who follow your
squad car with their eyes as you drive around the corner; or two individuals in a
car who are moving real quick as you approach them, and then suddenly they’re
calm as you pass by; or when you ask a guy to get out of a car, he hoists his belt
in a certain way that’s slightly unusual, suggesting that just maybe he’s packing a
.357 Magnum in his belt. All these things have happened!”
“So how do you develop this skill?” Charles asked.
“You have to heighten your awareness,” Wayne answered.
“Right, like David Brenner said, you have to have your radar turned up
high,” Charles added.
“That’s right,” Frank said, “it means paying attention. You and I can walk
into a restaurant. You see a restaurant full of people. I see a guy sitting at the end
of the counter with his leg half off the stool and his hand in his pocket. I ask
myself, “Why?” He’s got a cup of coffee in front of him, his silverware is on the
right side of his plate to indicate he’s right handed, and his right hand is in his
pocket. What I’m seeing doesn’t fit. If you were to add to that scenario an old
clunker sitting outside at the curb with someone behind the wheel and the motor
running, I would go right to the pay phone and call the cops because these guys
are gonna hold up the place. It’s all how you see things. You and I perceive
things differently.”
“Excuse me,” a man interrupted, leaning over from the opposite aisle seat. “I
couldn’t help over-hearing your conversation. You’re talking about street smarts
and perceptiveness.”
“Yes,” Charles said, “I’m Charles Green.”
“Wayne Arnold.”
“Frank Collura.”
They all shook hands.
“I’m F. Lee Bailey,” the man said. “As I see it, the definition of intuition is a
sixth sensethat is, the ability to gain information without resorting to the
normal five senses. It’s usually ascribed to women. It’s really that women, at
least until recent years, have gone through life in a defensive posture, always
having to look out for themselves and be wary of the stronger, more dominant
male. So they much more finely-tuned their ability to forecast what’s going to
happen from tiny little signals.”
“Yeah, it’s precisely those tiny little signals that can save your life,” Wayne
added. “I’ve been involved in several shootings. There was one drug bust in
Chicago in which my surveillance did not get the bust signal. I gave the bust
signal to my back-up, but he didn’t relay it to the group of cops that were waiting
outside.
“I went out into a hallway with the drug dealers. I had two guns and a fake
cash roll that was supposed to be $25,000. My surveillance didn’t come in.
Things were getting too far along. So I decided to arrest these individuals
myself.
“So I pulled out one of my guns and I showed them my credentials. I told the
guy, ‘Hey, look, you’re under arrest.’ He immediately says: ‘There’s someone
behind you and he’s going to kill you unless you put your gun down.’ I knew
there were two doors behind me in this hallway. Immediately, I sensed he was
lying. His eyes didn’t go to the right places, he wasn’t saying the right things,
and he was too nervous. He was looking directly at me when he said there was
someone in back of me; he didn’t look past me. And I didn’t feel there was
anybody in back of me.
“There was another dealer standing on the stairs. He also was not looking
behind me. The next thing I thought wasthey always did this on ‘The Lone
Ranger’they got the guy to turn around. So what got me out of there alive was
my ability to read this guy’s body languagehis face and his eyesand trust
my intuition. All that was based on tiny little signals.”
“Wow, that’s some story,” Charles said. “How does that tie in to the legal
profession, Mr. Bailey?”
“We tell new lawyers to watch a lot,” Bailey said. “People communicate
much earlier with their eyes than they do verballyespecially in my
environment, which is the courtroom. We have to rely very heavily on what we
see because the atmosphere is adversarial. People are trying not to tell you what
they are thinking or feeling. You’ve got to be able to read it from body english
and, again, from experienceknowing what a person is going through when he
begins to twitch or look at the floor or look for help from his lawyer.”
A man came over and picked up the thought. “I tell my salespeople to watch
a lot. Let’s say you’re giving a presentation to a group of executives. As you’re
talking, you notice they are occasionally glancing over at one man. That tells
you right away who the decision-maker is.”
“Watch a lot,” Charles thought. That made sense to him. He gave himself
credit for being the type of person who goes into a meeting at work and notices
some details, like who’s sitting together. Now he would look for even more
clueslike where people chose to sit and how it affected their level of
interaction with the boss. In the future he would also pay more attention to the
boss’s eye contact. Who does he look at, who does he avoid? Who are his
favorites and what do they do to deserve it? Do they answer his questions, come
prepared, produce results, or kiss his ass? Who does the boss call by first name
versus last name? How are the rookies treated compared to the others?

To Be Street Smart...
Be a people-watcher; look for the tiny little signals that reveal what people are
thinking or feeling; pay attention to eye contactit says a lot about how
comfortable a person is with himself, you, and a situation.


The discussion continued as a man in front of them turned and leaned over
his seat. “Forgive me for interrupting,” he said, “it’s been my experience that
street smart people are able to get closure quickly. They see the whole even
though they are only given some of the parts. They see this, this, and this, and
are able to fill in the gaps to come to a conclusion. At the same time that they see
the big picture, street smart people are also able to focus on the small details that
they need without losing sight of the big picture. This is called a Gestalt focus; it
allows you to size up people and situations quickly, which is an indispensable
skill no matter who you are or what you do.”
“That’s true,” another man said, coming over to join the conversation. “You
see, based on accumulated experiencethe good and the badthe successes
and the failureswhen you meet somebody, you start to form opinions; you
either like him or you don’t; you trust him or you don’t; you think he’s a crook
or you think he’s trust-worthy. And these judgements aren’t purely emotional.
Unconsciously you search back in your databank, which tells you, ‘I once knew
a guy who acted like this and he stole a $1,000 from me.’ So immediately your
guard is up.
“You see, from your life experiences you construct mental categories into
which you fit new people and situations. On the one hand, these generalizations
can create the tendency to be closed-minded and judgmental. On the other hand,
they save you from being taken advantage of, wasting your time, or being naive
every time a new situation arises. That’s why you have to learn by your
experiences and integrate them into everything you know.”
“You mentioned experience,” Charles said, “but what about someone like me
who has limited experience in the big city? What can I do to learn how to see
those tiny little signals, read people, and see the big picture?”
“The first thing you do is you observe your environment,” he .i.Wayne;
answered. “Now I’m not suggesting you walk around like you’re paranoid,
looking here and there like a nervous wreck. I am saying you should focus your
awareness out instead of in. Most people walk around in their own world; they're
myopic. They’re so caught up in their own points of view they can’t see other
perspectives.
“If you want to see the big picture, concentrate on what’s going on around
you on a moment by moment basis. You’ll be amazed what you’ll notice when
you take the time to look.”
“The other thing you can do is get feedback from people,” someone
interjected. “At work, be more observant and, when you’ve observed something
that you can get corroboration on, get it. Let me give you an example. A buddy
of mine in the office, a guy about 45, was looking kind of bad for a week or so.
He looked like he hadn’t slept well, he was irritable and I noticed his shirts were
wrinkled, unlike before. I put two and two together and one day said to him,
‘Did you and your wife split up or something?’ He said, ‘How’d you know?’ It
was simpleall the clues where there.”
“Being observant and reading between the lines can help your business and
personal lives,” F. Lee Bailey added. “Whether you’re involved in a complex
business negotiation or a power struggle on your way up the corporate ladder,
you have to be able to anticipate what people are going to do and think. To do
that, you’ve got to get inside their heads by reading the signals they give; you
certainly can’t wait for them to tell you. Once you’ve done that, then you make a
judgment as to what to do about it. Ask yourself, if I do ‘A,’ how will this person
react? If I do ‘B,’ how is he going to respond?”
A woman stood up and offered her input. “Knowing how others may react is
important, and the flip side of that is knowing that other people will be looking
for your tiny little signals. This is especially true in a negotiation. So a street
smart person knows when to play his cards close to his vest. That kind of
anticipation takes place instinctually in a fraction of a second.”
“The anticipation you’re describing,” another man added, “is the process of
mental imaging that we all practice. If you wanted to ask your boss for a raise,
before you went into his office you would mentally rehearse what you were
going to say and then anticipate his answer. If you imagined a rejection, you
would rephrase the question as many times as necessary until you heard the right
answer. Then you would actually go in and talk to him.”

To Be Street Smart...
Anticipate what people might do by practicing mental imaging. Also, ask
yourself, “What would I do in this situation?” or “What are this person’s possible
responses to this dilemma?” Once you have the answers, prepare yourself for the
possibilities. This is called looking before you leap.
A woman stepped forward, greeted everyone and made a comment. It was
Geraldine Ferraro. “You can call it anticipation. You could also call it seeing the
big picture. It means looking to the future and anticipating what you need to do
now to get where you want to be.
“Even when I was a kid, my goal was to eventually achieve some measure of
success. To attain that goal, I knew that I was going to have to get a good
education. Tuition was expensive and my family did not have the money to pay
for it. At that time, Pell Grants and student loans were nonexistent. So I studied
hard and earned good grades. My grades, in turn, got me scholarships and I
supplemented them by working part time and during the summers.
“Later in life, when I was in Congress, I looked ahead and knew I wanted to
run for the Senate in 1986 against Al D’Amato. I was anticipating a problem of
raising money and began doing the basic groundwork to avoid having that
disqualify me from the race. I knew I had to develop a national constituency. The
first step was to achieve a position of leadership in the Houseno small feat for
a junior member, but the one spot that could make it possible was as Secretary of
the Democratic Caucus. In 1980, I ran for it and won. That position lead to being
appointed to the Hunt Commission and the Chair of the platform committee. In
those positions I met with democratic fund-raisers across the country. The
success I had on the Hunt commission and my leadership on the platform
committee gave me a national reputation. If I had run for Senate I could have
reached out for financial help, however, that didn’t come about because I was
chosen by Fritz Mondale as his Vice-President.”
They all looked up and realized a crowd had gathered. A hush came over the
forward cabin. Someone from the starboard side spoke up.
“I’ve had a great time eavesdropping on you guys,” the man said. “I’d like to
add something. You’re talking about awareness and anticipation. Well, one thing
that depresses awareness is habit. We are all creatures of habit. An exercise that
will heighten your awareness is to do things differently. Make Tuesday the day
you do everything contrary to the way you normally do them. When you get up
in the morning, get up on the other side of the bed. Instead of showering first,
have breakfast first. If you drive to work, take a different route; and so on. When
you go into the office in the morning and people say, ‘Hello, how are you?’, say
something different. Say, ‘I’m fantastic.’ Or ‘I feel like a pussycat in a fish
store!’ Answer people differently. If you normally respond to a question by
blurting out the answer, on Tuesday don’t blurt, think first.
“It’s a fun exercise. By breaking the habit, even if only momentarily, you
become more aware of yourself; and that is the first step to increasing your
awareness of the subtlety in others.”
A woman cut in. “What works for me is role-playing. It’s a marvelous
exercise for acquiring new behaviors. When you change your habits on
Tuesdays, as that gentleman suggested, cast yourself in a role that day. Choose a
role model and ask yourself how that person would do it. When I want to be
outrageous, I imagine myself as Joan Rivers. I imagine how she would respond
in a given situation. It’s a confidence-builder. Any time you can step out of your
normal mode of behavior and still be effective and accepted, you build
confidence. It’s simply a matter of acting ‘as if.’ ”
A man holding a child in his arms spoke up.
“I teach my kids how to be aware. I’ll take them out for ice cream. When we
get back to the car, I’ll ask them questions about different things that were in the
store. When one of my daughters was little, I’d play a game with her when we
were watching television. I’d ask her questions about what was happening
behind the scenes. What state was the license plate on the car that just went
down the street? What color was the car? It taught her to look beyond the focal
point. I do that all the time with my children. Now when we walk into a room,
the first thing they do is make mental notes. The more you do that, the more you
can start putting things into categories.
“And I agree that categories are very helpful if you want to be street smart.
I’ll give you an example from my days in sales. When I sold security systems, I
could determine the personality of the buyer in the time I walked through the
front door of his house to the room where the presentation would be made. I did
it by what I saw inside and outside the home. I looked at the car he drovewhat
type and if it was clean. If they were serving food, what was it and who was
doing the serving? How much control did they have over their children? What
was the nature of the man’s relationship with his wife? What kinds of things
were hanging on the walls? Diplomas and awards instead of art, I could safely
assume he had a big ego. I would assimilate dozens of pieces of information in
those few moments and get a pretty good sense of his personality. That’s strictly
from having awareness and being perceptive. I took the time to make note and
absorb because it was important. That’s something you can practice.”
Another passenger picked up the thought and expounded on it. “Street smart
people recognize potential problems before they happen,” she said. “Someone
who is not street smart walks right into problems. I was fortunate as a child to
have been taught about street smarts by my father. For example, I had to travel
cross-country by train once. My father gave me a bunch of rules about how to
deal with strangers. He pinned money to the inside of my shirt and gave me a
little for my pockets. You learn not to carry all your money in one place.
“This sense of caution is also relevant to adults. Most people know that
when you let a valet parking attendant park your car, you never give him all your
keys because your house key is on the ring. When you go on vacation, you don’t
tell the world, unless you want to send out invitations to every burglar in town.
“All these things sound paranoid, but they’re not. If you’re street smart you
just naturally think this way. You’re always anticipating.”
“Talking about anticipation,” a woman said, “that reminds me of a story I
read somewhere. A young boy’s friends made fun of him because, when they
offered him a nickel and a dime, he would always take the nickel. They thought
he was stupid and laughed at him. One day a friend took pity on him and said,
‘Let me clue you in. The dime, even though it is smaller, is worth twice as much
as the nickel. So when they offer you a nickel or a dime, you should take the
dime.’ The boy’s reply was, ‘I know that, but if I ever took the dime, they’d quit
offering.’
“For a youngster, that’s having a lot of insight!” the woman said. “Not only
was this kid able to anticipate his peers’ behavior, he also changed the focus of
their game. He took their focus off the fact that they were losing money and
shifted it to his feigned stupidity. Obviously he cared more about making money
than about his peers’ opinionsand that shows an incredible amount of self-
esteem for a young boy.”
A well-tanned gentleman stood up and voiced his opinion. "That young boy
was able to see the big picture. One thing that has always been helpful to me in
seeing the big picture is to try to anticipate both the best and the worst possible
outcomes of a situation when making a decision. Most people are either
optimists chasing a rainbow or pessimists always looking for the thundercloud.
You have to do both. You have to have the ability to anticipate and avoid
problems, but in a sense that is the negative side of foresight. The positive side
of foresight is to first select appropriate goals and build a commitment to them.
Once you have done that, then you need to anticipate and avoid problems.”
An announcement was made that the plane would be landing soon. One more
man summed up with an astute comment. “As far as awareness and foresight go,
people who are street smart understand not only the direct impact of things, but
also the ripple effect. They look at life the way a chess player looks at the
boardalways playing the game three or four moves ahead.”
Before everyone sat down, Charles spoke up, “Say everyone, this has been a
real pleasure and a wonderful learning experience for me. May I feel free to call
on all of you again?” There were shouts and murmurs of “Yes,” “Of course,”
“Anytime.” From the back someone said, “See you in your next dream.”
During the time the plane landed and taxied to the terminal Charles made
notes on what he had learned so far about street smarts.

To Be Street Smart...
• Heighten your awareness. Pay attention to the environment, turn up your
radar, and use your powers of observation. Look beyond the focal point.
• Develop your ability to anticipate. Ask yourself, “What if...?” Look for
the ripple effects of your actions. Think like a chess playerfive steps
aheadfor possible opportunities and problems.
• Use your experience and judgement to size-up people and situations
quickly and accurately. When appropriate, don’t be afraid to make snap
judgements and act.
• Learn to trust your judgement and intuition. Keep track of your intuitive
flashes as a way to improve this ability. They will improve with practice.
• See the big picture and the small details.
 IV

the meek SHALL inherit...leftovers

Confidence & Chutzpa


I was rudely awakened by a persistent knocking on my door. I jumped up and
answered it. Tom was standing there holding my newspaper.
“I’ve already milked the cows, watered the pigs, and fed the chickens and you’re
just getting up!” he said.
“Jeez, I must have slept through the alarm,” I said groggily, “how much time
do I have?”
“Ten minutes,” Tom said, pushing his way passed me and heading for the
kitchen. “You get ready, I’ll make breakfast.”
I hurried into the shower. It was Saturday, so I skipped shaving. Besides, I
wouldn’t have to impress anyone at a high school basketball game. Five minutes
later I went into the kitchen and found Tom eating a bowl of cereal and reading
the sports page.
“Where’s breakfast?” I asked.
“Right there,” he said, pointing to a bowl, a banana, a box of cereal, and a
quart of milk.
“That’s fixing breakfast for me!” I said incredulously.
“Don’t worry, it didn’t take long,” he said straight-faced. “You can return
the favor sometime.”
“I’ll be sure to do that.”
We walked along the street like brothers. Tom talked nonstop about the
importance of today’s basketball game and I listened, living a bit vicariously. We
stopped at a corner and I was suddenly mesmerized by what was going on.
Police barricades had blocked off the street. A film crew was preparing to shoot
a scene and a crowd had gathered to catch a glimpse of the stars. I inched closer
to the barricade, surrounded by hundreds of people. I lost track of Tom as I
searched the set for a familiar face. Rumor had it that a police drama was being
shot, but so far no one had seen any of the cast members emerge from the
trailers.
At one point I felt someone push hard against me. I looked around. People
were beginning to resemble sardines, but I kept moving forward. About ten
minutes passed. Suddenly I recognized a face on the set. It was Tom! Tom was
on the set talking and laughing with Dennis Franz and Robert Clohessy! I
couldn’t believe my eyes. At one point Tom turned toward me and waved, like
an athlete on TV who sneaks in a “Hi Mom” on camera.
A while later I heard Tom call from a distance, so I worked my way out of
the crowd and back to the corner where we were last together.
“Seen enough?” Tom asked pompously.
“How the hell did you manage that!” I asked in disbelief as we continued
walking to Tom’s school.
“Piece of cake, Cheeze-whiz,” Tom smiled. “It’s called Chutzpa! You don’t
get what you don’t go after!”
“But...but how did you get on the set?” I asked. “There were security
guards all over the place.”
“Man, you can’t let little things like that get in your way,” Tom said. “I asked
myselfwhat’s the one thing they probably need. The answer is coffee. So I
bought a dozen cups of coffee and went to the head security guard. I told him
they ran out of coffee on the set and I was the go-fer. He must have wanted a cup
himself because he didn’t question me, but he didn’t want to let me on the set
either! So I told him, ‘Hey, I spent my own money on this coffee, and I’m not
giving it up until I get paid.” So he got some woman to pay me. Then I still
wouldn’t give him the coffee. I told him I was the only one who knew who
ordered what. At that point he just threw up his hands, grabbed a cup of coffee
and told me to go ahead in. So I walked around talking to people and handing
out cups of coffee. Boy, was I surprised to find out they actually did run out of
coffee. Man, was I popular!”
I couldn’t believe it. I had never seen such a smooth operator. Here we were
in an urban jungle of 11 million people and this kid was acting as if it were his
own backyard.
At the next corner there was a pretzel vender. Tom stopped and looked at
the pretzels, then at me.
“Charles,” Tom said politely, “will you lend me a buck?”
“Sure,” I said, reaching for my wallet, but my hand slapped an empty
pocket. “Hey, my wallet! My wallet’s been stolen!”
“You cheese-dip!” Tom said, holding up my wallet. “You are such an easy
mark!”
“What the hell!” I said, flabbergasted.
“I thought I’d teach you a lesson,” Tom said. “You might say I picked your
pocket to keep you from getting ripped-off!”
“That makes a lot of sense!” I said indignantly.
“About as much sense as you standing there in a crowd with a fat wallet in
your pocket and your brains in New Jersey,” he snapped.
“So that was you!” I barked. “I thought I felt someone fall against me, but I
didn’t give it a second thought.”
“Yeah, well you should have!” Tom said. “Man, never keep your wallet in
your back pocket like that, especially in a crowded place. Put it in front or leave
it home and carry your money loose in your front pocket. And getting mixed in
with a crowd like that was pretty dumb! You were a sitting duck for all kinds of
lunatics!”
He certainly had a way of making a point. I felt like a jerk and must have
shown it.
“Cheer up, Cheese-ball!” Tom says lightheartedly, slapping me on the back.
“Here’s your wallet. I’ll buy you a pretzel with the profit I made on the coffee.”
Tom beamed as he handed the vendor the money and accepted two hot
pretzels. “You want mustard?”
“No, are you kidding,” I gagged. “Let me get this straight. Not only did you
con your way onto the set, you also made money in the process.”
“Hey, a guy’s gotta eat!” Tom said, gloating as he bit into his pretzel.
“I’ll tell you something,” I said. “The day your education meets eye-to-eye
with your chutzpa, you’re going to be one successful dude.
We walked in silence for a while. I kept seeing an instant replay of the mob
scene in my mind, remembering the exact moment when I felt the push of the
little brat pickpocket. I should have paid attention!
I looked at Tom and sensed he wanted to say something. “What is it? You
have that look on your face.”
“Another thing,” Tom said with a mouth full of salty dough. “You make
yourself an easy mark just walking down the street.”
“How?” I asked.
“The way you walk, you look like you’re scared of your own shadow,” Tom
said.
“Afraid,” I corrected him.
“What?”
“Afraid, not scared,” I said.
“Wait a minute, it’s my turn to be the teacher,” Tom continued. “The problem
is you walk with your head down and you never look at anyone. Everyone
knows they could take advantage of you anytime they want.”
I thought about that for a moment, then Tom dropped another bomb.
“You can’t be afraid of conflict. As a kid from New Yorkthe streets,
basketball courts, the school yard, stickballI learned I had to show someone
that’s sizing me up that I’m not going to retreat. I’m here to stay, not to run
away.”
“The way you are on the street, you’re probably the same way at work. Man,
if you want to fit in, you gotta make eye contact with the people of the world;
even the ones you feel threatened by. The world is a jungle and you have to look
like you’re another animal. And if they’re convinced, they’ll leave you alone.”
“And what if I don’t feel like I’m one of them?” I asked.
“Just do it,” Tom said, “or get eaten alive.”

   


When we arrived at his school I had about an hour to kill before the game.
Tom went to the locker room and I wandered down a hall and found an empty
classroom. I sat in a chair and closed my eyes. I thought about all that happened
on the way to the school. A comment David Brenner had made during a dream
came to mind.
“You’ve got to fake it till you make it,” Brenner said. “I learned this from a
guy when I was really young. He was funny, he said when you go out with girls
when you get older, you’ll walk into a club and you won’t want your girl to
know you’ve never been there. You’ll want her to think you own the place!
You’re gonna have to take her coat to get checked. So you take her coat and your
coat and you head towards where you think the coatroom is going to be. Now
let’s say it’s not there. Let’s say it’s the men’s room you’re walking into. So you
take a leak and then you walk out and you head to the second place where you
think the coatroom’s going to be. And you keep doing that until you find it.
Hopefully it won’t be a big restaurant.
“I listened to my friend and thought, forget the restaurantthat’s what life’s
all about. You head for where you think something’s going to be with an air of
confidence. I found a lot of good things happened in my life because I acted all
the time like, ‘Hey, I can handle it.’ My friends would say, ‘Let Brenner handle
it. Brenner can handle it,’ but I didn’t know how to handle it. I was scared or as
unfamiliar or uptight as everyone else, but since they said, ‘Let Brenner handle
it,’ I said, ‘Okay, I’ll handle it.’ So because they said I could handle it, I would
act like I could handle it, eventually I got the confidence that I could handle
situations and I ended up having the real ability to handle it.”
I was beginning to get a handle on the concept. I looked at my watch. There
was enough time for a catnap. I set my alarm and took a snooze.

   

The supersonic jet taxied out to the runway where a white limousine was
waiting. Charles got off the plane after realizing he was already in New York and
didn’t have to fly to Tom’s basketball game. He was afraid he would be late, so
he asked the limo driver to step on it. There were some other people in the limo.
They, too, were in a hurry to get to the game. The man next to Tom looked
familiar.
“Excuse me,” Charles said to the man, “have we met?”
“You’ve probably seen me on TV,” the man replied. “I’m Tom.”
“Right, I’ve seen you on Johnny Carson,” Charles said, shaking his hand.
“Aren’t you the comedian who slept in an abandoned car in L.A. before you
made it?”
“That’s me,” Dreesen said. “You have a good memory.”
“I can’t imagine living like that,” Charles told him. “I would have been
scared out of my mind.”
“I’ve always been a street kid,” Dreesen said, “so I can survive wherever I’m
put. Sleeping in an abandoned car was something I knew I could manage until
my luck changed. Growing up on the streets taught me that when the going gets
tough, the tough get going.”
“And what if you’re just developing your toughness?” Charles asked. “Do
you fake it till you make it?”
“Absolutely,” Dreesen said. “A street kid is more likely to say he can do
something even when he doesn’t know what it’s about. For instance, if he’s
asked, ‘Do you have any acting experience?’ he’ll say ‘Sure!’ even though his
only experience was playing a lamp post in a grade school play.”
“And then he’ll wing it,” Charles added.
“That’s right,” Dreesen continued. “I am not the most talented comedian in
the world. I’m a good comedian and I know my craft, but I have more guts than
the others, the same kind of guts I had on the streets. When I got started in this
business, I was half of a Black and White comedy team with Tim Reid, who
played Venus Flytrap on ‘WKRP in Cincinnati.’ That took a lot of guts. There
were no other Black and White comedy teams. We went to places where white
people didn’t dare to go. I worked what was affectionately called, ‘the Chitlin
Circuit’Black-owned, Black-operated, all-Black clubs.”
“When Tim and I split up, I went out to L.A. and slept in an abandoned
Rambler with the front seat down. My wife and I were separated. I was down
and out with no place to go. I slept there for over a month. I went to gas stations
and washed up in the morning. When I made the rounds to the agents during the
day, I acted like I was the most successful guy in the world. A street kid senses
you must act successful to be successful.”
“In order to make it in show business, you have to be arrogant and humble.
In my case, arrogant enough to believe you can walk out in front of 20,000
strangers and make them laugh; and humble enough to appreciate it when they
do.”
“There has to be an element of fear in performing in front of thousands of
people,” Charles said.
“There is, especially at first,” Dreesen said. “But you never show it. You
gotta do two things. You have to have the total belief in yourself and a total
commitment to yourself. Not only do you believe that you are gonna do it, but
you commit yourself to it.”
A man sitting on the other side of Charles leaned over and spoke.
“It’s been my experience that cowards and heroes both feel fear intensely. I
feel like a coward sometimes, but I try to act like a hero,” the man said. “By the
way, I’m Robert Clohessy.” The three of them shook hands.
“Confidence is so important,” Clohessy continued. “So many things get in
your waythe past, family, lovers, your neighborhood, your environment, bad
habitsbut you have to keep fighting through it. You gotta do what you know
instinctively is right for you. That’s related to learning to love yourself as best as
you can. Believe in yourself and never give up.”
“When I was 28, I didn’t even have a job. That summer I was going up to the
Williamstown Theater Festival (upstate New York) to work for $25 a week. I
needed to do thatto be in that environment. There are a lot of people who
wouldn’t make the sacrifice of working for $25 a week, either because of pride
or because they’re too comfortable, but it paid off because I had a small part in a
play with Blythe Danner. That fall, she asked me to play opposite her in a
musical that her husband, Bruce Paltrow, directed. It just so happens Mary Tyler
Moore Productions optioned the play. Right after the production, MTM flew me
out to L.A. to audition for some pilots.
“This is where confidence comes in. At the same time Blythe Danner made
me the offer to play opposite her, I was hired by a prestigious regional theatre,
the Hartford, to do a play called, ‘Distant Fire.’ I got one of the five lead roles.
My agents pushed me to do it because it would establish me on the regional
theater circuit. I pulled my hair out for three days and finally said, ‘Screw it, if
Blythe Danner asked me to play opposite her, that’s what I’m going to do.’ And
that led to coming to L.A. and getting on ‘Hill Street Blues.”
“I listened to myself. Actors are so subservient to their agents because they
need them so badly. Saying no to the first job my first agent got me took a lot of
guts. And it was the right choice. I made those kinds of choices along the way,
where I reached down and did what I felt was right. That’s chutzpah, that’s
courage, that’s sticking up for what’s right for you. Not in a selfish way; just in a
way that feels right.”
“Chutzpa,” Charles mumbled. “There’s that word again.”
“Chutzpayou can call it ‘guts,’ ‘nerve,’ courage,” Tom Dreesen said. “Let
me tell you a story about chutzpa. I wanted to be on a show called ‘Sammy and
Company’ with Sammy Davis, Jr. I knew if he saw my comedy act he’d like me.
It was just a gut feeling I had. My agent tried to get me on the show, but they
didn’t want me. They wanted bigger names like Cosby. I begged her to keep
trying. Finally, they had a cancellation on the show and called her to see if she
had a comedian. She said, “Please use Tom Dreesen.” The producer said, ‘Oh,
for God’s sake, send him.’ They had a lot of people on the show that day. They
put me on toward the very end. The producer said to me, ‘I saw the tape of your
first ‘Tonight Show.’ Don’t do any of that material about being raised in a
predominantly Black neighborhood.’
“That material was exactly what I had planned to do; a whole routine about
what it was like being the only white kid on an all-black basketball team; how
the white girls jumped rope and cheered versus how the black girls did it; stuff
from my childhood. Five minutes before going on I told him, ‘That’s what I’m
planning to do.’ The producer said ‘No, I don’t want you doing that. Johnny’s a
white host, Sammy’s black.’ I told him, ‘That doesn’t make any difference. I’ve
worked in black night clubs.’ Anyone else would have backed down and done
different material. He could have kicked me off the show, but he probably
figured, ‘Oh hell, we’re taping this show, I’ll edit the guy out.’ I walked out on
stage, did that material and afterwards went to sit on the couch with everyone.
Sammy was falling on the floor laughing. On the air, he said, ‘How would you
like to go on the road with me?’ I ended up going on the road with him as his
opening act for over two years.”
A woman seated next to them added an interesting comment. “There’s no
denying that street smart people have a lot of moxie and will do things that
others might shy away from, ” she said. “But the thing about chutzpah isit can
be over-done. Some people are turned off by the appearance of too much
chutzpah. No one likes arrogance. So it’s important to have chutzpa and the
effectiveness it brings, but don’t show it too much. Over-sellers often miss sales
as much as those who under-sell.”
The limo pulled up outside the high school and Charles could already hear
the crowd cheering. They had arrived just in time.

   

The roar of the crowd woke me up before the alarm went off. I raced for the
gym and got there in time to see the opening toss.
It was a close game from start to finish. Tom’s team won by two points and
Tom was carried out on his teammates’ shoulders for sinking the winning shot
from the half court line with one second left on the clock.
A couple of days later I was at work, sitting by the phone, trying to figure out
how to get through to a bank President who had been too busy to see me for the
last month. I was trying to structure a joint financing deal for a client and had hit
this roadblock.
On a whim, I grabbed my coat and told my boss I would be back in a while. I
went to the nearest flower shop and bought a nice flower arrangement. I took a
cab cross-town to the bank and went up to the president’s office. I already knew
his secretary from innumerable phone conversations.
“Joan, I’m Charles Green,” I said.
“Ah, the man behind the persistent voice,” Joan said, extending her hand.
“And to what do I owe this visit?”
“These are for you,” I said, handing her the flowers. “for being so nice and
helpful on the phone. And I have to admit, I was hoping to catch everyone off
guard and actually get in to see him.”
“You know how it is,” she said glancing at his calendar, “he’s booked solid.”
“What if you told him I’m here and am willing to sit and wait until eight
o’clock if necessary,” I said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said sincerely. “He doesn’t like to be
pressured like that, but let me go in and talk to him.”
She went into his office and returned a few minutes later with a smile. “He
said to give you an appointment for Friday. Can you make it at one?”
“I would be here at one in the morning if he wanted!” I said buoyantly. She
thanked me for the flowers and I thanked her for the appointment. Hot dog! I
was one step closer to the deal.
During the cab ride back to the office I jotted down some thoughts.

To Be Street Smart...
1. You have to be confident. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will.
2. Street Smart people have an air of confidence. In some situations you
have to fake it till you make it. All the world’s a stagechoose your role.
3. Confidence and trusting your intuition go hand-in-hand. The more you
do of one, the more the other develops.
4. You can’t be afraid to do or say what you believe in. Don’t be afraid to
ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
5. Stretch the limits of your normal behavior by doing something unusual
once in a while, especially something that takes chutzpa.
6. Know the difference between confident and arrogance. Too much
chutzpa can be as bad as too little.

 V

I’M OKAY, YOU I’M NOT SURE ABOUT
Healthy Skepticism

About a week later Tom and I were walking home after seeing an action-packed
“B” movie. We passed a store that had banners and flags promoting a “Going
Out Of Business Sale.” There was a stereo blasting rock music and a hawker
standing at the entrance encouraging passers-by to come in and save 50 to 75
percent. “Drastic Reductions! Easy credit! Extended warranties! Save Save
Save!”
I grabbed Tom by the arm and pulled him toward the store. “Come on, I
want to buy a VCR,” I shouted over the din.
“Are you kidding,” he said as he stopped and resisted my pull. “That’s not
the place to buy anything!”
“Why not?” I asked. “You told me never to pay full price for anything. This
place looks great!”
“Come on,” he said, continuing to walk home. “Don’t believe everything you
see and hear. That place has been going out of business for years. Never trust a
place like that! Everyone knows their prices are jacked up and then discounted to
what they should be. There are no bargains in this world.”
“You are so cynical,” I said.
“I know all about that stuff,” he said. “I have an aunt who is a sucker for
every scam that comes down the road. My father and mother used to fight about
her. She used to get taken advantage of and my mother would want to bail her
out by sending money. After about the tenth time my father said, ‘No more
money! The only way she’s gonna learn is if she has to get out of these messes
herself.’ I learned a lot listening to them fight.”
A soccer ball came rolling down the sidewalk, Tom gave it a swift kick. It
sliced and almost crashed through someone’s window.
“My father used to tell me, “Don’t trust anyone who carries a briefcase,
never do business with a pipe smoker, and don’t play pool with anyone named
“Doc.”
“I don’t get it,” I said as we turned the corner.
“A guy with a briefcase is gonna want everything in writing,” he continued,
“and you won’t be able to take his word for anything. A pipe smoker can’t make
a decision. He’s got to clean his pipe, stuff it, light it, chew on it, and take three
weeks to think things over. A guy named Doc, I guess that’s just from the old
Cowboy moviesthe pool hustlers were always named Doc.”
We came to our apartment building and found Tom’s mother, Jacquie, sitting
on the stoop reading Cosmopolitan. It was a balmy afternoon so the three of us
sat outside, drank iced tea, and talked until dusk.
“Jacq,” I said, “Tom and I were just talking about how cynical he is. Would
you say that’s a good way to be in the big city?”
“I don’t think it’s cynicism,” she said. “I would call it healthy skepticism,
and, yes, I think it’s a good way to be. After all, there are few things you can
accept on face value. Sad to say, but there are a lot of scams going on out there.
Skepticism is just part of discerning the sincere from the insincere, the good
deals from the cons. Would you rather be naive?”
“No,” I replied. “So how do you learn to trust people?”
“You give them time to prove themselves,” she said. “A lot of the people you
run across, especially in business, have hidden agendas. Even though people are
working for the same company or on the same project, they may be looking out
for themselves first. The world is full of opportunists and a lot of them will stab
you in the back for a promotion or they’ll take credit for something you did.”
“I’ve seen that happen already,” I told her. “I worked on an account with a
guy and found out later he was taking our client out for drinks and to the theatre
behind my back. It was supposed to be a team effort, but he only cared about
making himself look like a super-star.”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Jacquie said. “And if you think back, part of
it may be your fault.”
“How could it have been my fault?” I said defensively.
“Maybe it’s wasn’t, but people are often their own worst enemy,” she said.
“They will tell their whole story and, basically, they’re letting it be known where
they’re vulnerable.”
“So what can you do to protect yourself?” I asked.
“The first thing is to keep your mouth shut,” she continued. “Say less. Then
think from the other guy’s point of view. Ask yourself, “What could this person
want from me? Where am I leaving myself open?”
Tom spoke up. “My father once said to me, ‘there are a lot of people who, if
you give them enough rope, they’ll hang themselves.’ ”
“Gee, I think I’ve heard that before,” I said.
“Six months after he left my mom,” Tom continued, “she starting seeing this
guy who everyone liked. But I didn’t like him from the get-go. I thought about it
a lot, but kept feeling like I couldn’t trust him. Everyone else said, ‘You never
trust anybody.’ Yeah, that’s partially true, but there are some people I trust less
than others, and this guy, I got a gut feeling about him that he couldn’t be
trusted. Everyone said, ‘but he’s so nice’ and I said, ‘that’s one of the reasons I
don’t like him.’ He was too nice. I was suspicious of his generosity. He was
trying too hardalways giving me stuff and flattering me. It made me sick.
Anyway, about a year went by. He started asking my mother and her friends to
invest in a business he was starting. Hot new idea! This dude was going to be the
next Mrs. Fields’ Cookies. My mother and I talked about it and she decided she
wouldn’t give him a dime, but other people did and he ripped them off.”
“There’s a little more to it than that,” Jacquie said. “He wanted me to co-sign
a loan. He gave me guarantees that everything was kosher, but I told him no. I
didn’t even have a gut feeling about it because my emotions were getting in the
way. But I looked at the situation and imagined myself a year later looking back
on the events and I realized it was all too predictable. It had all the makings of a
scam.
“I always think about what my entanglements with people could do to me.
The minute I get into something I immediately also figure out how I’m going to
get out of it. Like Tom said, you have to slowly give people enough rope to hang
themselves. It’s a waiting game to see if they’re going to fly or fall. The ones
that fly become your friends.”
“So you can’t judge a book by its cover,” I added.
“No,” Jacquie said, “you have to see what’s underneath and sometimes that
takes time. But that doesn’t mean you withhold judgement every time you meet
someone. Part of having healthy skepticism is relying on your intuition and
using the thousands of little generalizations you carry around with you. Imagine
yourself at work. If you’re interviewing a man for a job and he hasn’t shaved for
the interview, right away you have to listen to that voice inside that’s saying,
‘This guy’s a flake. If he doesn’t have the smarts to shave, I don’t care what his
resume says. He may think he's Don Johnson, but he’s applying for a business
position, not an acting job.’
“In a way that’s unfair because you’re judging the book by its cover, but
on the other hand, it’ll keep you from making poor decisions, wasting your time,
or being taken advantage of.”
“So sizing people up sometimes requires only a snap judgement and other
times you have to give a person time to show his or her true colors,” I said.
“Absolutely. It depends on what’s at stake,” Jacquie agreed. “If someone is
being interviewed for an important position, you take the time, do your due
diligence. But if someone is interviewing for the mail room, your standards are
much lower, so you spend less time and make the decision faster.”
“It’s a big problem these days,” I said, “companies getting burned by
employees misrepresenting their backgrounds. Or they have the credentials, but
are psychologically undesirable. Managers really need a good system for
ferreting out the phonies.”
“My boss has an interesting system,” Jacquie said. “There are tests available
to determine whether a person is basically straight, but the test can’t tell you if
he’s a compulsive gambler or if he’s been married six times. His instability
doesn’t come out. So my boss applies his own little test. He ends an interview by
saying, ‘I sure have enjoyed our chat. What I like about you is that you are a real
straightforward, say-it-like-it-is guy.’
“Whether he’s been straight or not, my boss gives him credit for being
honest. Then he says, ‘I think you’re the kind of guy we want, but I have one
question for you and, because you are so straightforward, I know you will
answer honestly, okay?’ And then he says, ‘What is the one thing about you that
you least want me to know about?’ And then he shuts up and watches the guy
squirm. If the guy says ‘nothing,’ my boss figures he’s lying, therefore, he’s
destroyed his credibility. Most of the time that doesn’t happen. Everybody has
something to hide. So guess what they say? They bring up the one thing they
don’t want you to know. They’ll wiggle, cough, and say, ‘I suppose maybe the
fact that I have a couple of drinks at night, but I don’t drink to excess.’ Then you
know the guy’s a drunk. Or ‘I like to play poker on Friday nights,’ then you
know he’s a compulsive gambler. Or ‘Oh, I suppose if someone over-paid me ten
dollars at the lunch counter, I wouldn’t give it back.’ Then you know he’s a
thiefhe’ll rob you blind. They will tell you!”
“That’s quite a system,” I said. “Does it work?”
“It works great,” she said proudly, “my boss has one of the best staffs in
New York.”
“Including you.”
“Especially me!”
The three of us got up to go inside. I turned to Tom. “Ready to go over your
English homework tonight?”
“I sure is,” he said with his best poker face.

   

Later that night I microwaved a gourmet frozen dinner and read my snail
mail and e-mail. There was a lot of junk. I had offers for credit cards, magazine
subscriptions, insurance, merchandise, and get-rich-working-at-home offers. I
engaged my newly acquired healthy skepticism and tossed them all. As Tom had
said, there are no bargains in this world. If it seems too good to be true, it
probably is.
 I felt very peaceful as I slid into bed, despite the pounding outside my
windowsomeone on the street was playing a car stereo too loud. Any other
night I would have shouted an obscenity out the window, if Tom hadn’t beat me
to it. Tonight, however, I didn’t want to spoil my inner calm. I thought about the
nice chat with Tom and Jacquie that afternoon. They were beginning to feel like
my New York family. I liked that. I also appreciated them for helping me learn
about street smarts. It’s great being able to learn from someone else’s
experience; and, as I was discovering, if you pay attention, you can learn even
more from your own.
I took out a piece of paper and jotted down the essence of our sidewalk
session:


To Be Street Smart...
1. Street smart people have a healthy skepticism, which makes them hard to
take advantage of.
2. There are times when making a snap judgement is appropriate.
3. There are times when you withhold judgement and commitment to give
the full picture a chance to unfold and reveal its hidden features. With time,
people show their true colors.
4. Stereotypes and generalizations are useful. They serve as data for sizing-
up people and situations. They point out a certain probability of events or
behaviors occurring based on past patterns. They help you make decisions
quickly and keep you out of trouble. You have to know when you are
invoking them, however, to avoid being prejudiced or unfair.
5. Being hard to take advantage of has to be balanced with knowing when
to give in. You don’t want to be unyielding and lose opportunities.
Sometimes, if you give an inch, you gain a mile.
The music outside continued as I turned off the light and went to sleep.
 VI


THINK FAST!

Resourcefulness

The jet landed in Los Angeles after a ten minute flight from New York. There
were many limousines waiting outside the plane. Charles got into the one that
had his name spray painted like graffiti on the side.
He was taken to a television studio in Burbank and given a ticket for a talk
show. Once inside, Charles realized he was in the audience of the Patrick
McDougall show, a Phil Donahue clone. The guest host was Charles’ neighbor,
Tom! He was grown up and starting to gray slightly. Tom’s success did not come
as a surprise to Charles. He knew there would be no stopping him once he
combined his street smarts with a formal education.
Today’s show was a panel discussion on, you guessed it, Street Smarts. The
technicians were making last minute audio checks on the microphones. It was
three minutes to airtime.
Charles looked around and saw all kinds of people in the audience. There
were young and old people who appeared to be from all walks of life. He
thought, Dr. Sternberg was right, street smarts is something everyone can gain
from.
The show began with its theme song, “The Street Smarts Samba.” The studio
director cued Tom that it was show time. He faced the camera and posed his
hypothetical question to the home viewers.
“I want you to imagine this: You’re vacationing in a large American city.
One night you and your spouse decide to go out for a very fancy dinner. The two
of you are dressed to the nines and start driving to the restaurant. Suddenly your
rental car sputters and threatens to die. You pull off the highway and desperately
search for a gas station. You find none. The car dies and there you are in a
ghetto. To make matters worse, there are three gang members standing on the
corner looking like vultures waiting to swoop down on you for their evening
meal. What would you do?
We’re going to find out the answer on today’s show. We have with us in
the studio some of the most street smart people in Los Angeles. Will you look at
who’s here: Steve Allen; David Brenner; F. Lee Bailey; Tom Dreesen; Dennis
Franz; Wayne Arnold, with the Drug Enforcement administration; Frank Collura,
a former Chicago cop; and who knows who else will call in. We’ll be back in
minute.”
During the commercial break the panel members talked amongst themselves
and decided, because the show was only an hour, they would limit the discussion
to one aspect of street smartsresourcefulness.
After the commercial, David Brenner broke the ice. “You gotta be able to
think on your feet. In the situation you just described, you have to think fast and
get those guys on your side right away. Distract them from eyeing your
thousand-dollar suit and your girl’s diamond watch. So you jump out and you
say, ‘Hey, any of you guys good with cars?’”
Tom nodded in agreement. “That’s what I would do. Right away you get
them on your side and you create an atmosphere of competition amongst them.
You’re also boosting their macho images of themselves because everyone knows
real men know how to fix cars.”
Steve Allen picked up the ball. “What we’re talking about here is
resourcefulness. Street smart people are glib. They’re good ad-libbers. For me, I
can trace it back to my childhood. My mother and father were a Vaudeville
comedy team. We moved around a lot and I attended 18 schools, which had its
pluses and minuses. One advantage, in retrospect, was that I was constantly
being dropped by parachute, so to speak, into enemy territory. So I learned to
land on my feet and immediately set up shop; and I kept discovering talents I
had never even thought of two weeks before.
Unlike everyone else, I didn’t have friends for twelve years, but on the other
hand, I did get experience ingratiating myself and meeting new people and
somehow fitting myself in a conscious way.”
“Sure,” Tom said, “when you’re the new kid in the class you have to impress
everyone right away. You do that either by beating the crap out of them or
making them laugh. With a class of 30 kids, it’s much more efficient to crack a
joke.”
“You have to be able to wing it,” Steve Allen continued, “that ability served
me well later when I ended up doing talk show duty in television. It also doesn’t
hurt if your specialization in comedy is ad-lib, as mine was.”
“When the pressure is on, you have to be able to keep your cool,” Wayne
Arnold said. “In a tight situation, a lot of people think, ‘how can I get out of this
situation,’ and that’s all they think about. It closes down their options. You can’t
shut down; you have to go with the flow of the situation, which often means
staying there and working with your environment, namely the people who are
thrust in your face.
“I busted a guy once and my story for getting to him was that somebody at a
bar sent me to his house. I was supposed to drive up to his house and he would
hand the drugs out of his window. I wasn’t suppose to get out of my car.
Anyway, I pulled up and I called his name, he leans out the window and I told
him Shorty sent me. He said, ‘He did? ‘and I said ‘Yeah, I want to get an eighth.’
He says ‘I got it, but I haven’t packaged it up yet, come in.’
“Instead of following my instincts, which were telling me I shouldn’t do this,
I got into my role. When you’ve been in this business for a while, you start to be
somebody else, you get to lie pretty well. So I went into the house. He opened
these steel bars behind his door, then locked them behind him after I entered. I
thought, ‘Why is this guy locking the bars?’ He said, ‘Have a seat, I’ll be right
back.’ I was in the kitchen and I heard a dog growling in the other room. The
dealer returned with a pistol in his hand and says ‘I don’t know you man.’ I said
‘Well, Shorty sent me.’ He says, ‘Well, wait a minute. Where is Shorty?’
“I said, ‘He’s at the bar down the street.’ I didn’t know if he was there! The
dealer said, ‘Let me get him on the phone.’ Now realizeI didn’t know Shorty.
The dealer called the bar and got the guy on the phone. He said, ‘Who is this guy
you sent over here? I don’t even know him.’ Then he took the phone away from
his ear and says, ‘This guy says he doesn’t know you.’
The first thing that flashed into my mind was that I couldn’t get to my gun
fast enough. This guy had a pistol in his hand pointed at me. So I winged it and
said, ‘Let me talk to him!’ I stood up and quickly grabbed the phone and started
talking to Shorty as if I knew him. I started cursing him out. ‘Goddamit, man,
what are you doing to me! This guy’s got a gun. Are you crazy.’ So suddenly the
dealer must have been convinced that I knew Shorty because he started to relax.
I saw him relax. I handed him back the phone. When he got back on the phone,
he turned his back on me and that gave me the second I needed to get my gun
and bust him.”
It was a great story. Tom grasped the silence that followed, “And on that
note, we’ll take a break.”
During the commercial the discussion continued. Frank Collura shared one
of his war stories.
“After I left the Chicago police force, I was working undercover in Palm
Springs. One night I was taking two dealers to meet another dealer in the middle
of the desert to make a buy. They all had guns. I had stuck my new miniature
walkie-talkie under the seat, but I forgot to turn it off! Meanwhile, the tail car
came up behind me, and ‘Suspect is turning right on Tahquitz-McCollum’ came
booming out from the walkie-talkie under my seat! The guy in the back seat
stuck a gun to my head and said, ‘You’re dead, fucker.’ So I turned on the other
guy, who was a friend of the first, and said, ‘Do you believe this shit? He’s
pulling a fast one. We’ve got a narc in the back seat. He sticks a transmitter
under the seat and then wants to lay it on me. Do you believe this asshole!’ I laid
the blame on him and I got away with it! We argued for a while, accusing each
other until finally it got to be a standoff. We concluded that narcs had bugged the
car, and that the motion of the car had popped the transmitting button out so that
it would receive. I pulled it off, and we later indicted both men. And like Wayne,
it was quick thinking that saved my life.”
The director cued Tom and they were back on the air. “We’re in Los Angeles
talking about street smarts,” Tom said. “Go ahead caller.”
“You guys are obviously street smart,” the caller said, “but how does a guy
learn to be resourceful?”
“How do you develop your resourcefulness?” F. Lee Bailey answered. “By
using one’s imagination and not being a slave to the teachings of others who
insist that ‘this is the way we have always done it.’ That is the bureaucrat’s war
cry. You’ve got to get used to the notion that, even though you could be ridiculed
for it initiallyas many inventors and other great minds have beenit is a good
idea to think up new methods to attack old problems.”
“You have to use your imagination and creativity and have the confidence to
think things out and, if they make sense, go forward with them. Don’t ask big
brother for advice. In the two environments that are my passions, criminal law
and flying, there is no time to talk to big brother anyway.”
A man in the audience stood up. Tom ran to him with the microphone.
“One way to become more resourceful is to expect it of yourself. Much in the
same way you would expect it of others. As an employer, I find that it’s just a
matter of letting people make decisions and putting them in situations in which
they have to find their own solutions.
Here’s a simple example: My secretary comes in and says, “We’ve got a
problem here.” What she’s really trying to do is give me the problem. I have a
rule, which is to always ask, “What do you recommend I do?” My attitude is,
‘don’t walk into my office to tell me about a problem without first having
thought it through and figured out what you would do.’ A lot of people are
willing to identify a problem, but aren’t used to being asked for a solution. If you
get into the habit of thinking things through, you become more resourceful.”
“That sounds like good advice to me,” Tom said, “think for yourself! Is the
caller there?”
“Good morning,” the caller said, “I believe resourcefulness is probably the
most critical element of success, but one of the biggest problems in business
today is that people tend to find a comfort zone and get bogged down in it,
which is not conducive to being resourceful. To be resourceful, you may have to
do something slightly out of the ordinary.”
Tom pointed the microphone at the man in the audience who spoke
previously. “Street Smart people are not afraid to step out of the pack and solve a
problem creatively,” he said. “They are lateral thinkers; they learn to look at
things from different angles.”
“It is also important to have some level of success,” the caller continued. “If
you want people to be resourceful, you’ve got to have them try it and see it
work. So a good management technique is to encourage employees to be
resourceful and creative. Give them role models. Let them rub shoulders with
people who are innovative.”
“Part of resourcefulness is persistence. It’s one thing to be creative and look
at things from many angles, but sometimes it’s simply a matter of persisting until
you find the right solution.”
Tom Dreesen offered his insight. “Persistenceit’s often the difference
between comedians that make it and those who don’t. A lot of guys I started out
with fell by the wayside. They were just as funny and talented as I was, but they
didn’t have my kind of persistence. If you’re going to survive in this jungle, you
have to be tough, you have to be glib, you have to be able to think on your feet.”
“You learn those things when you’re a kid and there’s a bully in the
neighborhood and you know he’s gonna kick your ass every time he sees you.
One day you say to yourself, ‘I can’t whip this guy, but even if he whips me
every time, I’m going to make sure he knows he’s been in a fight. Every time he
fights me, I’m going to give it my utmost.’ After a while, this cat’s going to leave
you alone. If for no other reason than he’s going to get tired of getting hit. That’s
what persistence isyou keep punching away.”
“Let me tell you something,” David Brenner began, “there’s nothing
glamorous about street fighting, but it does give you a certain inner fortitude. I
had my first street fight when I was four and a half years old! When I was older,
I was lucky ‘cause I was funny, so I got out of a lot of fights. You make a guy
laugh, and he says, ‘this guy’s funny, let’s let him go.’ But I had so many fights.
It was such a natural thing. I once thought, ‘some people don’t fight? I mean
there are people that don’t punch?’ And I wondered, ‘there’s a world like that?
Where the hell is that world?’”
“What you said about fighting building character is true,” Tom said. “I
shined shoes all night long as a kid. On the way home, they tried to take my
money, and they did take my money a couple of times. My father said, ‘You
better learn how to fight.’ He never said, ‘Here’s more money.’
“I think any adversity builds character,” Tom added, “but we don’t want to
advocate belligerence. The point isstreet smart people are persistent. We have
another caller…”
“Yes, I agree with everything that’s been said, but I’d like to add one
qualifier. Street smart people also know when to stop persisting. You have to
know when it’s okay to give upwhen you’re not going to make the sale, for
example. In the case of a business, you have to know when to stay in there and
fight and when to jump off a sinking ship. In real life, only a fool goes down
with the ship. Like Kenny Rogers said, ‘You have to know when to hold ‘em and
when to fold ‘em.”
A man stood up in the audience. Tom ran over to him as he thanked the
caller.
“If you’re not persistent,” the man said, “you may settle for mediocrity.
Persistence means you don’t settle.”
“What I’m hearing,” Tom said, “is that street smart people think quickly on
their feet and they’re persistent. I’m afraid we’re giving the impression that
they’re a bunch of cowboys making decisions by the seats of their pants. What
about the other side of the coin?”
“Absolutely,” F. Lee Bailey said. “Being prepared is a large part of ityou
can be as street smart as you want, but if you haven’t done your homework, it
isn’t going to help you much. Then you’re constantly getting into trouble and
using your resourcefulness to get you out, when you should be using it to get the
advantage instead of always playing catch-up.”
“I have a dramatic way of driving home the need for preparedness in court. I
usually shock my young attorneys by grabbing their notes away before they do
their first cross-examination. If they don’t know their witness well enough by
then, they shouldn’t be standing up in court. It’s like throwing someone out of a
boat to teach him to swim.”
“In business you can only bluff so far,” Frank Collura added. “You really
need to be prepared. It can’t be all hype. You have to be able to back yourself up
with facts.”
“I pulled off a coup in business and it’s because I did my homework. After I
retired from police work I was in the home security business and wanted to
expand. With very limited formal education, I had to go to Westinghouse to
negotiate a franchise. So I went to the library and became an expert on
franchising and forming corporations. I found out what would be the most
attractive corporate structure to attract financing and limit liability. When I met
with Westinghouse I knew the facts and I knew what questions to ask. That was
as important as any of the R & D I had done to develop my security system.”
“Whenever possible, have the facts. Street smarts teaches you that, when
you’re talking big businessmillion dollar dealsyou can’t bluff your way for
very long. You need to seek out information on your own, particularly if you
don’t have the financial resources for expert advice. Be prepared. That’s the
bottom line.”
“I believe we have a caller,” Tom said. “Go ahead.”
“Being prepared can be something as simple as having the ability to
communicate with people,” the man said. When I was young I spent a year
studying and traveling in Europe. I hitchhiked everywhere. I didn’t have the
money for train fare. All the other hitchhikers were wearing old army fatigues
and knapsacks. Not me! I wore my Brooks Brothers suit and carried a leather
valise. I got the rides. I made it from Paris to Oslo in two days, which is
incredible! On my way back to Paris from Norway, on the outskirts of Berlin,
there was a post where you were supposed to stand if you were a hitchhiker.
Well, there was a line of ten people, mostly Americans, waiting for rides. I
looked at that line and thought, ‘No way!’ A hundred yards up the road was a gas
station. I went to the gas station. As I walked up, in pulled a Citroen with an “F”
on the back. As the driver stepped out, I approached him and, in French, asked if
he minded if I got a lift with him. He said, ‘but of course, get in.’ Well, an
American saw me getting a ride. He came running over and asked, ‘Excuse me
sir, may I get a ride?’ and the Frenchman said, ‘Sorry, I don’t speak English.’
And away we went.”
Tom chimed in. “So you have to be prepared, able to speak the other guy’s
language, and if necessary, you have to wing it if your plans go astray.”
A woman stood up in the audience. Tom ran to her and presented the
microphone with a flourish. “There’s a sayingwhen you go on vacation, take
twice the money and half the clothes. Well, in my experience, if you’re going
into business, also take twice the back-up and half the ideas. The back-up is
money and people. Success in business is usually not due to one person,
although one person usually gets the credit.”
“That ties in with another form of resourcefulness,” Tom Dreesen added.
“One of the things a street kid learns at a very early age is that you don’t have
the answers to everything. So you surround yourself with people who do. And
you pay them. You can’t do it all. A street kid knows you have to dig into your
pocket to get by. If I want to succeed, I go as far as I can with my intellect and
my chutzpah, and then I pay people to take me further down the line; a lawyer, a
manager, a publicist. Don’t try to do it all yourself; and have the people you hire
checked out. I have an accountant and a business manager. The accountant
checks on my business manager. My lawyer watches both of them. It’s my own
set of checks and balances. If I’m going to do business with you, I’ll find out
who you’ve dealt with and talk to them.”
 A man in the audience took over. “I’m in the advertising business. There are
a couple of things in business, and in life, that are important regarding
peoplecredibility and credit. Credibility is a matter of personal integrity.
Credit is a matter of planting seeds because you never know which ones are
going to grow. A businessperson is only as powerful as his contacts.
Years ago I was hired by the symphony of a large city to boost subscription
sales. One of the first things I did was go to the number one radio station in that
city and see the Vice President and General Manager. He owed me a favor. You
see, 20 years ago, as a kid, he was a new salesman for a radio station in the
Midwest. I had just opened up a market in his area for the Evelyn Woods Speed
Reading course. Sometimes when I’m buying airtime I’ll ask for the newest
salesman. I found this guy who was on the job for one week and, in one fell
swoop, I made him the number one salesman. He never forgot me.”
“Another time I got to the Mayor of a city through the publisher of that city’s
major newspaper because I had helped his daughter find a job three years before
that. You’ve got to make contacts and use them. One powerful way to do that is
to always be willing to do favors for people. That’s what the Godfather did, and
we all know how powerful he was.”
“Is the caller there?” Tom interjected.
“Yes, hello,” came the caller’s response.
“Quickly, please,” Tom barked, “we have to break for a commercial.”
“I just want to say that, historically, successful people have been those who
have allies; and their success has been in direct proportion to the enormity of
their following. That’s why support groups are important.”
“And we’ll be right back, Tom said.” During the commercial break a woman
stood up in the audience and Tom gave her the microphone.
“Support groups are wonderful ways to learn,” she said. “What better way to
learn to be street smart than to find someone who is already street smart and use
that person as a role model. You can do it from a distance or, preferably, with
that person’s cooperation. Think of how much you could learn if you had a
mentor whom you could ask anything.”
A man stood up and added, “I’m not disagreeing with what that woman just
said, but I honestly believe one thing that sets street smart people apart is they
don’t have the dependency on support groups that other people have. Some
people can’t function without a support group. Street smart people have the guts
to face things alone. Sure, they like to have the support group, but it’s just icing
on the cake.”
“And we’re in Los Angeles, welcome back,” Tom said as the show was live
again.
 Tom Dreesen put things in perspective. “Street kids are some of the most
flexible people around. They can work alone; they can have a support groupit
doesn’t matter. I’ve always felt that I’m one of those guys that will survive
wherever you put me. I remember when I joined the Navy. The thought of going
out to sea for 60 days was very strange. I wondered, ‘how will I stand it out
there?’ But the moment that ship pulled away from the pier, I adjusted to the
environment. I learned that I can adapt to almost any environment on a
moment’s notice.”
“Adaptability means several things,” a man in the audience said. “It means
you don’t fight life. If you’re stuck in a situation that you don’t like and can’t
change, you make the best of it. But adaptability also means you’re flexible with
people. Street smart people are excellent communicatorsthey know how to
play an audience, whether it’s one person or a thousand. They know when they
need to be chameleons.”
“I’ll never forget it. When I was young, I drove a beer truck for my father
from the age of 16 to 21. I learned a lot about psychology from my father, who
taught me some very funny lessons. One time he was showing me my route, and
one day we pulled into a little dive of a beer joint and he said, ‘I want you to
watch what happens in here.’ We walked in and my dad says, ‘Well, how the hell
are ya, Bob? What’s going on?’ It was a real earthy conversation with lots of
expletivesand my father wasn’t one to swear a lot. We walked out and my dad
said, ‘Well, what did you learn in there?’ I said, ‘Well, I don’t know, I just
thought you were kind of a different person than usual.’
Seven or eight stops later, we were at an exclusive country club. My father
walked up to the general manager and said, ‘How do you do, John, it’s good to
see you today.’ They talked a little about golf and the stock market. When we
came out, he asked me, ‘What did you learn?’ I said, ‘Well, I sure learned you’re
a different person here than you were at the other place.’ He said, ‘The lesson for
today is knowing when to say ‘shit’ in public.”
“If you adapt your communication to the people you’re with, you’ll fit in
anywhere. It’s not being dishonestit’s being sensitive, understanding, and
flexible.”
Tom added a thought or two. “When I think of a street smart person, I don’t
think of someone who is necessarily sensitive or diplomatic. In fact, I think of
someone who is not afraid to bulldoze his way through life.”
Dennis Franz coughed and commented. “It’s both. The classic tough guy
image of street smarts, like that brooding Mickey Rourke type, is really not
valid. There are a lot of women I know who are street smart. The hard edge that
you referred to, Tom, is merely an outer skin that you wear in order to survive,
especially in my line of work, show business. As an actor, you have to be
sensitive, but at the same time you have to have a hard skin because there is so
much rejection. How do you do it? You have to let it roll off your back and not
take it personally. It’s a Catch-22 type of business. Your attitude has to be, ‘I
know and they don’t. One of these times somebody’s going to see what I know is
there.’“
“Rolling with the punches is the only game in town,” David Brenner
interjected. “I mean there is no way you can beam up. You’re here. It’s the only
game in town. So you play it out because you don’t always have a choice. I think
that’s what life’s all about.”
“Another aspect of flexibility is the willingness to compromise,” Geraldine
Ferraro said. “My life has been quite varied, with lots of different careers. At
each stage, I’ve become more of a street person. What I mean by that is,
inasmuch as I consider myself smart and I love to learn, I don’t consider myself
an intellectual. I’m a pragmatist. When push comes to shove, I want to see
concrete results. I won’t sacrifice my morals or my standards to achieve a goal,
but I will take less and figure, with time and patience, I’ll eventually get it all.
That’s hardly an approach about which great books are written, but it works, and
I’m realistic enough and street smart enough to recognize that.”
“We’re almost out of time,” Tom said. He turned to the panel. Why don’t we
quickly sum it up? We’ve been talking about that aspect of street smarts that we
call resourcefulness. And we could say being resourceful means...”
“Thinking quickly on your feet.”
“Being creative and seeking your own solutions.”
“Being persistent.”
“Doing your homework and being prepared.”
“Surrounding yourself with experts.”
“Making and using personal contacts.”
“Being flexible and adaptable.”
“Being able to talk to anyone.”
“A willingness to compromise.”
“Rolling with the punches.”
Tom turned to the camera. “And there you have it!” See you on the street
corner.” The theme song came up, credits rolled.
 VII



What Have You Got to Lose?
It’s Only Money

Risk-Taking &
Learning By Your Mistakes

W aking up in the morning had become a new adventure. Each day I looked
forward to what I might learn on my new mission. I hopped out of bed and went
through my routine with a new energy.
Work seemed like more of a challenge than drudgery. I was seeing my tasks
with a fresh perspective. At five o’clock my boss complimented me on my
productive day and, being Friday, we headed to the pub for happy hour.
After chatting about work, there was a moment of silence. The VP of
marketing joined us, so I took the opportunity to thank him for encouraging me
to be open to the lessons my dreams offered.
“If it weren’t for your encouragement,” I told him, “I probably would have
regarded my dreams as nonsense. Now I know better, in fact, I’ve learned some
incredible lessons lately.”
“Don’t give me the credit,” he said. “You’re to be complimented for
admitting your ignorance when you told us you wanted to become more street
smart. Sometimes the hardest part of learning something new is admitting you
don’t know it.
“And that’s something you can say about street smart people. They are
willing to stick their necks out and take risks. They assess a situation to
minimize risk, but they also realize that risk is an unavoidable part of getting
ahead in life.”
“I’ve had my share of flops,” I said.
“Are you kidding,” he said, “you’ve only just begun! Keep taking risks and
making mistakes. You learn far more from your failures than from your
successes. When you succeed at something, you don’t stop to think about what
you did and how you did it right. You take successes for granted because most of
what you do in life is successful, but failures stand out as monumental, they
happen so rarely. Those are the learning opportunities. You have to blow it a few
times before you learn how to do it right. But if you keep blowing it, it’s because
you haven’t gone back and looked at your failures with an open mind.”
We ordered another round and he continued on his roll.
“In fact, too much success creates arrogance. Arrogance creates more failure
than incompetence does. Take CEO’s who are successful at one company and
then bomb at another. The reason that happens is they maximize the fit between
themselves and the first organization over a period of years. Then they try to
carry over the things that worked in the old job, but they don’t work in the new
one. They actually end up getting in their own way.”
“Why do they do that?” I asked. “These are intelligent, experienced people
who should know better.”
“So often the problem with adults is attitude,” my boss added. They feel they
know it all and that gets in the way of learning new things. They think because
they’ve been doing something for 20 years and it’s worked, no one can tell them
anything new. The attitude is, ‘So who are you to tell me?’ In that case, they’re
stupid. It’s not intellectual stupidity, it’s attitudinal stupidity, but the effect is the
same.”
“Taking risks and being willing to fail is only half the picture,” the VP of
marketing said. “The other half is learning by your mistakes. Learning is a
cybernetic loop. Cybernetics are like the way robots work. Let’s say I had a
robot and it was traveling across the living room, but suddenly bumps into some
furniture. It feeds that information back into itself, changes direction and goes
somewhere else.”
Listening to him I remembered David Brenner’s story about finding the
coatroom in a restaurant. You boldly head in one direction. If you’re wrong, you
correct your course until you get it right.
“My boss spoke up again. “Street smarts is knowing when you’ve gone down
the wrong street. You’ve got to know when you’ve made a mistake and when to
back off. I recently got into an investment that was less promising that expected.
It wasn’t something I really wanted to do and its chance of success was not that
high. So I backed out, cut my losses and ran.”
“But did you learn from your mistake?” the VP of marketing asked my boss
facetiously.
“Damn right I did,” my boss said. “You can teach an old dog new tricks.
Something I’ve learned is to not think I’m a know-it-all. Street Smarts means
keeping your eyes, ears, and the rest of your senses open to the possibilities
around you all of the time, because some of the best ideas come from unexpected
directions.”
“Precisely,” the VP said. “That’s why I encourage my front-line people to
come up with creative solutions to customer service problems. You will rarely, if
ever, hear of a situation in which an employee was either fired or severely
reprimanded for bending or breaking company policy to help a customer,
especially if it resulted in keeping that customer. But we’re all aware of cases in
which customers are lost because an employee rigidly adhered to company
policy. The point isthe appropriate behavior is situational. You have to be able
to draw on all your resources and take charge. That involves risk.
“Ask yourself, who are the people who move up in the company? The
innovators, the risk-takers, the policy-benders. The people who are willing to
take a stand.”
My boss added a pearl of wisdom. “Someone once told me, ‘Be where the
bombs are falling and dance like hell.”
“If you want to get ahead in business,” I added.
“That’s right,” he said. “You’ve got to prove yourself in the heat of the battle.
No one wants to be there, but those who survive…no, thrive…are the ones who
are promoted to Generals.”
On that note I told them I had to shove off and head home. I left some money
on the table, grabbed my briefcase, which was still in sight, and walked toward
the door. As I walked passed the bar an insurance broker I knew grabbed my
sleeve and pulled me toward him.
“Charles,” he said, “buddy, I have a couple of extra tickets to the Knicks
game tonight. Wanna buy ‘em? They’re great seats!”
The word “Buddy” set off an alarm in my head. Suddenly I was skeptical. I
looked at his tickets. The Knicks were playing Boston and they were great
seatscenter court and close enough to hear the players think. They must have
been season tickets.
“How much?” I asked.
“Normally forty, but for you, thirty bucks each,” he said.
I could hear the con in his rap. Normally forty, for me thirty. Give me a
break. Then I realized the tickets probably belonged to his fatherI knew this
guy wasn’t making enough money to afford season tickets. So the bottom line
was they hadn’t cost him a dime. Whatever I paid for them would be found
money to him.
“Do you know what time it is!” I said. “It just so happens I have plans for
tonight.” He didn't have to know that my plans were to eat dinner and read some
magazines.
“Come on,” he whined, “thirty bucks a ticket is a deal worth changing your
plans for.”
“I’ll give you twenty bucks for them,” I told him, feigning nonchalance.
“Ten bucks each!” he protested. “Do you know what these are worth!”
 I knew what they were worth. I also knew, if he could have, he would have
sold them by now. Just for effect, I glanced at my watch.
“Fifteen bucks is as low as I can go,” he said.
“I’ll tell you what,” I said. “I’ll do you a favor. Remember that woman you
wanted to meet, you know, the one who works in my office. Well, I’ll take both
of you to lunch next week so you can meet her.” His eyes lit up. “But I don’t
want to spend more than ten dollars each for the tickets.”
“You’ve got a deal!” He thrust his hand into mine and shook it hard.
“Now there’s one favor I have to ask of you,” I said after he gave me the
tickets. I knew he was thinking, Anything, I’ll do anything! “You’ve been
putting off giving me that referral out on Long Island-you know, the guy with
the hardware chain who wants to go public.”
“Yeah, I just spoke to him a couple of days ago,” he said.
“I want his phone number,” I said bluntly. “Right now.”
“Sure, you can have it,” he said as he fumbled with his PDA. “Anything
else you want? How about a date with my sister?”
I gave him 20 dollars. He gave me the information I wanted. We set up a day
and time for lunch. I left feeling pretty shrewd. I walked home quickly, as there
was only an hour and a half before the game at Madison Square Garden.
Reality, or one possible twist of it, struck home as I turned the corner of my
block. What if Tom couldn’t go to the game. He might not be home. There really
wasn’t anyone else I felt comfortable inviting on such short notice. The
conversation with my boss and the VP suddenly hit home. Without thinking
twice about it, I had taken a risk. I was proud of myself because, in the process, I
had automatically minimized my possible loss by getting the best price for the
tickets and the business referral as part of the deal. So the worse case scenario
might be that Tom couldn’t go and I would be stuck with two tickets if I didn’t
want to trek to The Garden to sell them. Another way I could look at it was that I
had paid 20 dollars for a very promising business lead. That being the case,
maybe I could consider it a write-off on my taxes. I could see myself in an audit
defending the deduction of two Knicks tickets.
I knocked on Tom’s door and Jacquie answered it.
“Hi Jacq,” I said as she let me in. Tom was eating dinner. “Sorry to interrupt
your dinner.”
“That’s okay,” she said. “Will you join us?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I just got home,” I said, “but guess what I’ve got!”
“Rabies!” Tom shouted.
I held up the tickets. “Two tickets to tonight’s Knicks/Celtics game!”
“Yeeeooow!” Tom yelled.
 We both looked at Jacquie.
“Well, considering you got a ‘B’ on your math test,” she said to Tom, “I
guess you can go.” Tom let out another whoop.
“You got a ‘B’ on your test!” I said. We gave each other high-fives. “I knew
you had it in you, you little street rat!”
“Thanks, cheese-whiz!” he said, “I couldn’t have done it without you!”
“Sure you could have,” I said modestly. Jacquie had already brought a plate
and silverware to the table and was putting dinner in front of me.
“I guess I’m staying,” I said.
“You’d be a fool not to,” Tom said, stuffing his face with pot roast and gravy.
“You see, there is such a thing as a free meal!”
I was too hungry to argue the point. Besides, I knew he knew better.

   

Looking back at the Charles Green who stepped off the plane in New York
and proceeded to have his briefcase stolen, I can see I’m a different person now.
Not a superman, but I have a better idea of my abilities, my limitations, and I
know how to move through the system. I feel as if I’m in control now. I
recognize the games and how they’re played. I’ve learned a lot of life’s
unwritten rules. I’m a lot more street smart than I was when I moved to this city.
And I expect my street smarts to continue to grow.
 Street Smarts

I. Heightened Awareness
1. Trust your intuition
2. Develop perceptiveness & ability to anticipate
3. Size up people quickly & accurately
4. See the big picture
II. CONFIDENCE
1. Fake it till you make it
2. Use chutzpa when necessary
3. Believe in yourselfBe confident
III. HEALTHY SKEPTICISM
1. Don’t believe everything you see and hear
2. Be hard to take advantage of
3. Use your “mental categories” and generalizations to keep you on guard
4. Give people the time and rope to either hang themselves or prove their
integrity/sincerity
IV. RESOURCEFULNESS
1. Think quickly on your feet
2. Be persistent
3. Be prepared
4. Be flexible
5. Change your surroundings or adapt
6. Surround yourself with experts & contacts
V. RISK-TAKING
1. Be willing to take risks
2. Minimize the possible down side
3. Cut your losses and get out if you’re wrong
4. Learn by your mistakes


The End