10/14/2019 GloboChem Mission

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GloboChem® was founded on one simple principle. Volume. We aim to be the premier provider of shared services in the world. Our efforts to
synergize and extract maximum value is what keeps this organization running. We promise to "sharpen our pencils" and perform deep-dive due
dilligence in all of our endeavors. Net-net...a deal with GloboChem® is a deal for success. Our metrics have beat expectations throughout numerous
fiscal calendars. Our HALO post-mortems are second-to-none and considered industry best practices. Pragmatic.

Our Father™ started this company in 428 B.C. with nothing but a paper clip and a dream. Today, GloboChem® has been the driving force behind
almost every major historical event. Were you not entertained? We know you were.

Take, for example, the Incan uprising in ancient Peru:

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We TRIED to organize an efficient integration of The Others™ into the indigenous population...but there was no reciprocation vis-a-vis the local
leadership. Hence, GloboChem® began with a rocky start. Our solution - human meat suits. GloboChem® chose to mitigate the unexpected 3-sigma
event via cloaking the lizard people. The Others™ are now happily in the offices they require for their mission objectives. Win-win.

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Let's skip forward a few centuries...2500 years of maximizing shareholder value is a long time in today's free-wheeling, high-frequency-trading
twitter-verse. We can move into medeival Europe and the Black Plague™ eruption. This can be best summed up as a containment failure of our
bioresearch facilities. We could not, in best practices, allow The Others™ free-reign without a contingency plan. Risk management. It's part of what
we do. As a result of this incident, GloboChem® created this warning as a public service:

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Where did this come from? It's not a double helix. It's kind of nuclear but not really. We don't really know. But you know enough to be scared of it
now, right? BRAND. MANAGEMENT. Welcome to team GloboChem®.

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So here we are now...in the present day. Twitters are tweeting. Faces are booking. Snaps are chatting. Pandemonium. GloboChem® is here to make
sure all of your kleptocratic dreams come true. We are in the people business. People = business. Simple enough to say. But only WE can properly
execute. Our only hope is that we can work together for a, shall we say, "common" good.

As times modernize...we at GloboChem® decided to disrupt the mainstream corrupt media. How should our expertise in said "brand management"
carryover? As usual...we have a solution.

Cute. Friendly. Loveable. Three things you are not. Do you know who is?:

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PIT PAT! GloboChem®'s new mascot. A magical, pansexual, nonthreatening, spokesthing!

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© 2016. A R R .W M S

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