Mad Hatter’s Wonderland Skit

by Heather Hancock

Cast: Alice Mad Hatter

Cheshire Cat March Hare
Cheshire Kitten Tweedle Dee
Jabberwocky Tweedle Dum
King of Hearts White Rabbit
Queen of Hearts

CUE 1: Music - Alice enters with chair & book.

Alice is reading a book when the Cheshire Kitten enters SL meowing.

ALICE: Awww, what are you doing here? Hello. Where’s your home? Are you lost? You’re so cute. I’ll
help you find your way home.
Cheshire Cat & March Hare sneak up from SR & grab Alice. They tie her hands with a rope & laugh.
ALICE: Oh! Oh! What are you doing? Let me go!
Mad Hatter enters SL laughing.
ALICE: Oh, it’s you, Mad Hatter. What’s going on? Is this a joke?
MAD HATTER: No, my dear. Do you remember when we first met I said to you, “If I had a world of my
own, everything would be nonsense?”
ALICE: Um, I think so, yes.
MAD HATTER: Well, that’s precisely what I’ve done! I’ve taken over Wonderland. And now nothing is
what it is, because everything is what it isn't! (laughs uncontrollably)
ALICE: But, what does that have to do with me?
MARCH HARE: You may want to stop the nonsense!
CHESHIRE CAT: You can’t be trusted!
CHESHIRE KITTEN: You are a meddling girl whose meddling will not be meddled with.
MAD HATTER: Exactly. Tweedle Dee! Tweedle Dum! (both enter) Take her away!
TWEEDLE DEE: Has she been curiously…
TWEEDLE DUM: Curious?
MAD HATTER: Why yes, she has!
TWEEDLE DEE: Just like the…
TWEEDLE DUM: Oyster! And you know what happened…
TWEEDLE DEE: To the oyster!
They take her away.
ALICE: (yelling) What?! I’m not an oyster! Let me go!
Mad Hatter, March Hare, Cheshire Cat & Cheshire Kitten all laugh as they exit SL.
Queen, King, & Jabberwocky enter SR.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: And to think that my kingdom is being ruled by that mad man!
KING OF HEARTS: Yes, dear.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: And you did nothing to stop him!
KING OF HEARTS: Well, I just, they just, you know that I, um.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Worthless! All of you!
JABBERWOCKY: You can’t blame me, your Majesty. I was at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter when
all of this happened.
White Rabbit runs in SL.
WHITE RABBIT: (Out of breath, bowing) Your Majesty! Your Majesty!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: What is it?
WHITE RABBIT: We need your help! The Mad Hatter has captured Alice! You must, must help us!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: And rescue that insufferable brat?!
WHITE RABBIT: Yes, Alice needs our help.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Good riddance!
KING OF HEARTS: But, my dear, perhaps we should provide some assistance.
JABBERWOCKY: I would be happy to burn or eat someone.
WHITE RABBIT: Ow! And we need someone who is powerful beyond measure to help us. We’ll never
succeed without you.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Ugh! She’s still an insufferable brat!
KING OF HEARTS: You’re right, my dear.
WHITE RABBIT: We can give you money.
KING OF HEARTS: We do have to pay for all of those roses that you painted, my dear.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: True.
WHITE RABBIT: Plus, everyone will love you.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Why would I want that?!
WHITE RABBIT: Chocolate?
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Chocolate?! I’ll help you!
KING OF HEARTS: Chocolate IS good.
JABBERWOCKY: Yes! Oh, yes! Chocolate is very good. Especially chocolate-covered villagers!
WHITE RABBIT: Wonderful! Hurry then! We mustn’t be late to save her!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Fine. But, I want that chocolate while we’re on our way!
WHITE RABBIT: Of course, your Majesty! Anything that you ask.
All exit SL.

Mad Hatter, March Hare, Cheshire Cat, Cheshire Kitten, Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum enter SR with
Alice. They bring in a table & chairs for a tea party.
MAD HATTER: Oh, I do LOVE a cup of tea! March Hare, pour some tea for our guest.
MARCH HARE: Tea for two & two for tea! (brings tea to Alice)
ALICE: Well, I hardly think that I am a guest. (tries picking up the tea cup with her hands tied)
MAD HATTER: If there are forty cups on the table and one cup breaks, how many tea cups are left?
CHESHIRE KITTEN: A riddle, a riddle, a riddle indeed!
TWEEDLE DEE: Duh!! Still 40 cups only there is one…
TWEEDLE DUM: That is broke it’s still a cup!
MAD HATTER: Good guess. Not the answer we were looking for, however. The answer is not forty.
ALICE: Ooo, I think I can guess that.
CHESHIRE CAT: The answer is ambiguous because we do not know how many “tea” cups we started
with.
MAD HATTER: Hmmmmm, good answer, but think about it again. It will come to you or it won’t. (laughs &
drinks his tea)
ALICE: Why it’s…
CHESHIRE KITTEN: None because there are no tea cups to begin with, only cups!
TWEEDLE DEE & TWEEDLE DUM: ONLY CUPS!
ALICE: No, no, no. The answer is…
MARCH HARE: Cakes! I haven’t served the cakes! (runs out SL)
TWEEDLE DEE: Oh, yes! We must have…
TWEEDLE DUM: Cake with our tea!
MAD HATTER: Given up the riddle, have we?
ALICE: No! The answer is…
CHESHIRE CAT: Three.
Alice is furious that the Cheshire Cat has taken her answer.
MAD HATTER: Ha! Ha! Correct! If there are FOUR TEA cups on a table and one breaks, how many TEA
cups are left? Three.
MARCH HARE: (runs back in from SL) I’m afraid we are all out of cakes, but we had some lovely socks.
(serves everyone socks from a tray)
Everyone except Alice seems delighted by the socks & begin nibbling on them.

The Queen of Hearts enters SR with the King of Hearts, Knave of Hearts, White Rabbit & Jabberwocky
following her.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: How dreadful! My invitation to this tea party must have been lost in the mail!
KING OF HEARTS: Yes, dreadful, my dear. Absolutely dreadful.
WHITE RABBIT: Thank goodness we aren’t too late!
MAD HATTER: Let’s not pretend that your feelings are hurt. We know why you are here! (Everyone
stands & surrounds Alice)
JABBERWOCKY: Please, your Majesty. Let me settle this. I do enjoy snacks with my tea. (walking to the
crowd around Alice, ready to breathe fire)
ALICE: I can’t believe I’m saying this. Help! Your Majesty!
MAD HATTER: SILENCE! Now, I am a reasonable mad man. You know what would settle this.
KING OF HEARTS: No, anything but that!
JABBERWOCKY: (worried) But, but, I’m not wearing the right shoes!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: FINE! A dance off it is!

CUE 2: Music - Everyone gets excited & takes their sides, Queen of Hearts & Co. on SR & Mad Hatter &
Co. on SL. Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum take Alice & have her sit on the center of the table to watch.
Jabberwocky & White Rabbit dance 1st. The Mad Hatter acts impressed. Alice applauds. When the
second song plays it’s the March Hare, Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum. Alice can’t help herself, she is
having such fun. Queen of Hearts is a bit worried, but tries not to show it. Then, the Mad Hatter orders the
Cheshire Cat & Kitten to dance.They are amazing, until the Queen of Hearts pulls out a ball of yarn from
her pocket/handbag & tosses it on the floor. The Cheshire Cat & Kitten both start playing with the yarn.
The next song is a dance off between the Queen of Hearts & the Mad Hatter. Alice is worried, but cheers
for the Queen. The Mad Hatter dances circles around her. The Queen of Hearts can’t keep up. She is
about to give up when the final song plays & the King of Hearts steps in & wins! Alice stands up & cheers.

MAD HATTER: I said that I was a reasonable mad man. Release her at once!
Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum argue & push each other out of the way as they try untying Alice.
MAD HATTER: Socks & tea for everyone!
Everyone cheers.

CUE 3: Music - Curtain call. Everyone picks up their things & exit.