Joke is on You

People ask me, when you close your eyes, what do you see?

They expect me to say, a secured future and what not, but all I can see is pizza.

They laugh at me, but my friends, the joke isn’t on me, it’s on you.

Economics teacher asks, “why so much chaos?”,

I say, trying to reach equilibrium.

Everyone in the class laughs, but my friends,

The joke isn’t on me, it’s on you.

Relatives ask, “When are you getting married?”,

I say, “On my wedding day”,

Everyone frowns, but my dear relatives,

The joke isn’t on me, it’s on you.

Interviewers ask, “Tell me why we should hire you?”,

I say, “Because it’s your job.”

And here I am, writing this poem…

Still, the joke isn’t on me, it’s on them.

We’re here to make ourselves happy,

Here to not prove anything to anyone,

For that, my friends, I say,

Let everyone laugh at you because,

The joke isn’t on you, it’s on them.

Component Recruiting Practises Good practises as Additional need Lacked as per
Process Step per recruiting for management recruitment
Involved guide consulting hire guide
Candidate  Anticipate  Mapping  Continuous  Larger pool  Relied on
Sourcing the Need business evaluation of size, that too generic
 Specify demand talent pool of industry competency
the Job  Planning  Analysis of specialists model
 Develop  Optimize future needs  Realistic  Limited pool
the Pool supply through  Succession articulation  Looked for
various plan of talent only external
recruitment  Sills needs candidates
channels requirement  Brand appeal  No large pool
 Initial for to of candidates
Screening organisation interviewers
 Resume  Defined
validation demand of
 Hiring profiles job
o Skill-set  Specified
o Responsibility relevant skills
level  Identified
o Location of team the
work candidate
 Sourcing team need to work
evaluation: with
o Deadline  Tapped
o Cost external
o Conversion partners
rate metrics
Candidate  Assess  Engaged with  Throughout  Focus on  Using a preset
Management the candidate engagement highly evaluation
candidate throughout the with the sophisticated criteria
 Close the process candidate skill set  Included too
Deal  Assessment on  Interviewer (functional many steps
present Feedback skills)  Not included
evaluation involvement  More top
criteria  Not swayed integrity into stakeholders
 Three by extraneous hiring in candidate
interviews: factors process assessment
o HR  Not looked  Enriched  Failed to
o Technical endlessly process involve C-
o Final  Not used  Few tweaks level in
 Additional wrong would not be discussions
steps on case interviewers enough  Not ensured
basis  Reference compensation
checks is fair to other
 Structured employees
interviews
 Well trained,
high calibre
interviewers
  Showed
commitment
to candidate’s
success
 Demonstrated
active support
for
candidate’s
interest
 Involved
hiring
manager
personally,
and not only
the HR
On-boarding  Integrate  Smooth  Ensured  No lead time  Not using
the New transition till selected for training veteran top
Comer candidate candidate did  To be performers as
came on board not continue treated as mentors
 Building a prospecting ‘plug and 
deeper for alternative play’
connection employers.  More cross-
with the  Structured on- cultural
candidate board process teaming
 Buddy Program  Multiple
 Gave touch point
information to with the
help them candidate like
become phone, e-mail,
productive buddy
 Background program
checks of  Made sure
candidates new comer
checked
regularly with
mentor and
HR
 Provided
adequate
support and
monitoring
 Not treated
new hire as a
‘plug and play’
Capabilities  Applied  Developed  Develop  Not removing
technology to software different bad hires
the dashboard evaluation within the
recruitment  Innovated criteria of first year
process process candidate  Not identified
 Evaluation improvements managers and rewarded
metrics:  Broke down  Focus on excellent
o Demand the hiring efficiency interviewers
fulfilment process more than  Not holding
o Quality of the  Evaluation of speed in assessors
person hired candidate recruiting accountable
o Cost per managers  Need for the quality
person hired  Met the accurate of their
o Delivery cycle changing need forecasting evaluations
time of growing for different
o People hired business skill sets
monthly per  Offered
recruiter efficiency and
o Candidate speed with
surveys flexibility
scores  Not hanging
on to bad
hires
 Regularly
reviewed
recruitment
practises