Womanhood Doesn’t Mean

Motherhood
by Kym Magtanong

“I don’t want children.” Having children has been a norm in society

for a long time now — going through generations and generations of procreation.
Creating a family was mandatory for women back then — back in the times where
women staying at home was not just an expectation but a reality. However, today’s
society is a far cry from what we’ve known it to be our entire lives — change is now
more evident and things are evolving.

According to British Vogue this 2019, birth rates around the world are
going down as maternal ambivalence climbs — global fertility has even been cut
in half since 1950. Society is way past the times where women didn’t have much
choice in terms of having children. The women of today now have freedom on their
side making them much more open, independent, and not easily affected by criti-
cism. However, there are still different kinds of women with different perspectives
in this world. There are women who have know in their bones for as long as they
remember that they want kids. On the other hand, there are also women who haven’t
felt maternal instinct kick in even once in their lives. The reasons on why women
end up on a certain decision are varied — but what’s for sure is that these reasons
will always be valid as long as the woman decides so herself.

Paola, 20 years old, a first year Pharmacy student, says that kids are too
delicate and that there’s so much she wants to do in life that having kids has never
occurred to her — not at least when she’s confronted. Meanwhile, Cherie, a 26 year
old who has a stable position at a 5 star hotel in California said that the thought of
having children scares her.

“A child is like a clean canvas that needs a talented artist in order for it to
turn out as a beautiful piece of art”, she elaborated. However, we should take
into consideration that everyone comes from a different background and that it
can greatly affect women’s take on having kids. For instance, Paola says that she
grew up with parents who were always away, and that she’s realized how difficult
and demanding parenting is. Cherie had always thought that she would want kids,
but she said that the experiences life threw at her made her think otherwise. Her
wanting to establish and focus on her career can also be a factor in her decision.
Same goes with Paola who is, again, a med student – she says that she could help a
lot of people by making use of the resources she would supposedly give her own
child if she were to even have one. But at the end of the day, it still boils down to
women making their own choice.
 w
Since Cherie and Paola are two women who represent today’s generation, they
were asked whether they think women of today are more likely to not have kids
than older generations. “No, but they refuse to be defined entirely by mother-
hood,” Paola answered. Cherie also said no and explained how some women just
want to take their time and build a life of their own before dedicating the rest of
it to a partner and children. Both of them also said that despite being firm with
their decisions at the moment, they are open to changes and they can only decide
after they finally feel the sense of fulfillment they yearn for.

M
Women choose their own story to tell. The stigma surrounding women
who don’t feel, or even bow down to motherly urges still exists and it shouldn’t.
It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. There’s nothing wrong with doing something
that’s far different from what people are used to. Even indecision is normal as
well. What the women of this generation should know is that they are never alone,
and that there are plenty of other women who find themselves in similar places
— similar situations, just different circumstances but still with the same rights
when it comes to decision making. Motherhood isn’t and shouldn’t be the es-
sence of being a woman. Women should be given the choice whether or not they
want to have children without having to endure comments from society. They can
take their time for as long as they want — they should not be pressured by the
“time ticking” or even just because society says so. Women alone and no one else
withholds the power in creating such decisions that can alter their entire lives.
After all, it’s their bodies and they can do anything they wish to do with it.